Category Archives: impediments

The Road to Diamond, Day 81: “The Last Ten Minutes”

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

February 18, 2025, Hong Kong- I actually have time to sit and enjoy this spacious facility, after a brief and pleasant hop from Manila.

My friend, Kathy, has a descriptor for the late phase of any event, activity or process: The last ten minutes. She mentioned, in last night’s coming to terms between us, that we were, generally speaking, in that phase of our lives. My silent retort was that I intend to soak up every nanosecond. She later, independently, gave voice to the same sentiment, regarding her own life. Vindicated!!

We have had far more interesting conversations today, with the vagaries of romance having been set aside. One of the points she brought up was that one can really only do justice to one major personal event or process at a time.

For me, this would be taking the lead in Red Cross Disaster Cycle Response for Yavapai and Mohave Counties, Arizona- particularly from late May to early September, aka the Fire and Flood Season.

It makes no sense to play juggler. Rushing back to Manila would be little more than an act of giddiness, and I’m a bit long in the tooth for giddy.

She has some equally cogent plans, helping her younger son complete his education and a possible upgrade to a Baha’i- owned property in Metro Manila. We are pulling for one another. At some point in the next few years, I will visit “the Phils” again, because several people would like to see me again, and some of them will be visiting here, over the next little while.

For now, though, I’m in a good place, headed back to a place where I might “shine” as my friend put it.

The Road to Diamond, Day 80: Two Views of Life

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

February 17, 2025, Manila- I left an umbrella at Glorietta Greenway Mall, in Makati. Someone who needs it will be out of harm’s way. I am not leaving my heart here. Out of the blue, K told me, this evening, that she thinks I need to serve the American Red Cross, which means staying in northwest Arizona. I will not make a knee-jerk decision on the matter of my future, yet. That will wait until the time between March 1-16. Part of the deal is that I need to prove to myself that I am able to set up a shelter from scratch, in the simulation exercise on 3/15.

The reversal of my relationship here is nothing new. On the one hand, I have not really felt really accepted as a life partner, completely, by anyone. It took a long time and a lot of work to secure my marriage, and only after 20 years or so was it a fait accompli. I wouldn’t have ever given my wife less than my all, and I never once considered abandoning her. This time, not much is lost, though it would be awkward to return to Manila to live permanently.

The other side of the coin is, unrequited is unrequited. There are women to whom I have not reciprocated a romantic interest, so maybe this is all a trade-ff, or cosmic payback. Most of them have, over time, remained my friends, and K, after a fashion, will likely see me in the same light, albeit from a distance.

Some people, usually men, see their partners or spouses as servants, chattel, part-time interests or outlets for frustration with life. Such people don’t show much in the way of self-respect, so it stands to reason they would not know how to treat others in a decent way. That doesn’t make it right. I have at least built an ethic of standing firm for the rights of others, even if they hold me in disregard or disdain. The Divine, not mortal man, has infused each creature with worthiness. We have yet to approach that sense of worthiness, in our views of one another.

I will head back to the United States, tomorrow evening, by way of Hong Kong. Chapter Two of this unnerving, but vital, year, will start fresh, on Wednesday morning.

The Road to Diamond, Day 73: A Pause for Reality

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, impediments, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

February 10, 2025, Manila- I went shopping, this afternoon. Looking for a way to settle here, in an intelligent, practical manner has run into the realities of urban finance. I will discuss this further with K, and at least I have a safe, secure Home Base waiting, if the whole plan here turns out to be an impractical mess. I have a duty, to my departed parents, to my little and extended families, and to my beloved, to never again be a burden on anyone. So, with no money having exchanged hands, I am glad that my expedition this afternoon and evening has given me insights.

Long story short-while monthly rent here is fairly cheap, housing entrepreneurs favour “rent to own” systems, which include a doable down payment, followed, however, by a monthly payment that exceeds the average American pensioner’s total monthly income-at least in Metro Manila. No thank you, unless I win the lottery stateside, and even then, it’s the principle of the matter.

I am not shamefaced, to tell you, my readers, this, only a day after being so sure of my Plan 1. I did say, yesterday, that events on the ground this year could change on a dime. Things will likely proceed organically, in quite rapid succession, between now and next Tuesday, as well as for the rest of this year. K and I will continue to have honest, heartfelt conversations, about a number of things-and life will go on nicely. Stay tuned.

The Road to Diamond, Day 72: Realizations

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

February 9, 2025, Manila- A kindly woman said something that has occurred to me several times, but has slipped to the background of my thinking, with regard to my friendship with a special soul here. It is service together and enjoyment of just being together that matters most, in any relationship. The whole romance and courtship element that is so important, to so many, even among us seniors is actually of lesser importance to K and I. The longing to be together, to do things together, is very strong-as strong as it was with Penny. It does not, however, come with strictures and caveats, per se-other than a sense that I get from K, that I actually commit to being here for more than a few weeks..

Tomorrow, I will go with a mutual friend to look at a place where I might rent a condominium at a monthly rate, looking to live in this area for a year or so. If the place seems reasonable, then all the systematic changes that I would need to make in my life would be effected from the time I return to the United States, in the middle of next week (2/19) to the end of April. It will perhaps discomfit some in Home Base I, and elsewhere, but I haven’t felt this strongly about anyone, nor felt such reciprocal energy coming from the person, since 2011.

Unless things go drastically south in the next ten days, I know that this is the course I want to pursue. It’ll mean working with the Red Cross to train a team of Disaster Response volunteers for northwest Arizona, during March. It will mean putting some household items up for sale and giving much of the rest away, in early April and taking the rest to a storage unit. I would bring only two or three bags of items with me. It will mean a schedule of 9-10 months here and 2-3 months’ travel in the United States or other parts of the world.

It will also mean being readily adaptable, in this age when affairs large and small can turn on a moment’s notice.

The Road to Diamond, Day 71: National Treasures

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, Education, Entertainment, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving, Travel

February 8, 2025, Manila- The traditional musician and promulgator of his people’s musical legacy would not be out of place on the Navajo Nation, the Hawaiian island of Niihau, or any number of other First Nations across the wide swath from northeast India to the shores of Newfoundland-or Greenland.

Alonzo Saclag has dedicated himself to the musical heritage of Kalinga Province, a mountainous region in north central Luzon. The Kalinga people are among the Austronesian nations, who constitute many of the indigenous populations of regions from Assam, India to Hawai’i and Easter Island. Like First Nations elsewhere in the world, the tribal groups of the Philippines, as one can see in the above video, have a rich heritage, well worth preserving.

Kuya (older brother) Alonzo is among those uniquely talented Filipinos and Filipinas who have been deemed Manilikha ng Bayan (Living National Treasures), by the National Commission on Culture and the Arts. These people are found to have “a high degree of knowledge or skills to perform or recreate elements of intangible cultural heritage”, which is the UNESCO standard for Living National Treasures, around the world. In addition, the National Commission has stipulated that “recipients must possess a mastery of tools needed in the craft and ties to the indigenous cultural community. Furthermore, they should have revitalized the community’s artistic tradition and are recognized in their community as a master and teacher.”

Besides Alonzo, the recipients of this honour include: Magdalena Gamayo, Master Weaver; Frederico Caballero, Epic Chanter; Teofilo Garcia, Casque Maker; Uwang Ahadas, Yakan traditional musician; Eduardo Mutuc, Metalworker; and Wang-Od Oggay, Batek tattoo artist. The Philippine National Museum of Anthropology, which I visited for the first time, this afternoon, has a dedicated gallery, featuring the work of each of these artists.

It is always a highlight of any visit to a country, or area, to see the work of those who preserve and promulgate the cultural life of its First Nations and others who are close to the land or sea. I will probably return to PNMA, before this visit is over, to spend time taking careful notes on this nation’s long and deep cultural heritage.

The Road to Diamond, Day 71: Smoothing Rough Edges

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving

February 7, 2025, Manila- The otherwise courtly man awoke from his nap, and marched into the kitchen: “Where’s my coffee??” As the rest of us have been fixing our own caffeinated drinks, for as far back as I’ve been coming here, I was a bit nonplussed. The ladies in the kitchen were, however, furious, as was the construction project lead, who is every bit as much an advocate of women’s rights as I have been. The visitor got his cup of coffee prepared for him, with the understanding that any refills would be prepared by him, alone.

We are in an age of smoothing rough edges. This state of affairs means that each of us must bring ourselves to account each day, work on those weak spots and give some grace to those who stumble in one area or another. The visitor was, in general, polite and considerate, and was more than generous to the kitchen manager’s teenage son, after realizing that he had offended people with his earlier demand.

Back in the United States, it is particularly urgent for people to look at one another with the eye of understanding. Overlooking the viewpoints of other right-thinking people will not, inherently, change those viewpoints. Rather, it will only increase the likelihood of a return to policies that are seen as shopworn, anachronistic or otherwise counterproductive. The other thing that will guarantee revanchism is overplaying one’s own hand. For example, forcing others to adhere to one’s own orthodoxy-even if that belief system has some redeeming social value. People need to be persuaded, not coerced. That persuasion has to appeal to the hearer’s understanding of the world.

That means giving the “other side” the tools by which to smooth their own rough edges, while one smooths his/her own.

The Road to Diamond, Day 70: Truisms

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Posted by on in Assistance, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

February 6,2025, Manila- One of my Baha’i sisters in faith returned to Manila, this morning, after a lengthy stay in her home area. She has asked for my support in a matter involving an oversight on the part of her employer. My support, as a guest of the Philippine government, would have to be strictly of the moral kind. Filipinos themselves must fight their own battles-and they have, in times past.

Americans are now involved in a strenuous debate, on several fronts. There are questions being batted back and forth, such as: “Who was corrupt first?”; “Why should taxpayers fund subscriptions to periodicals and on-line publications?”; “What do we do, if it turns out that a DOGE technician has overstepped the group’s mission and has a hand in someone’s till?” “Who will determine what happens to Greenland? to Gaza? to a location to be mentioned later?” My stock answer, particularly to the first three questions, is: Be the integrity you want to see in the world, first. Other truisms I would employ include: “Two wrongs don’t make a right; Government agencies don’t need to spend six figures, or even five, on subscriptions; There needs to remain a system of checks and balances, with Congress and the Executive Branch deciding most matters together. (This means Congress has to DO something, systematically.) As for the affairs of a country outside the territorial limits of the United States-the people of that entity deserve the right to conduct free and fair elections, and chart their own course. That, of course, means that outside actors-regardless of ideology, need to butt out. (Hamas, Hezbollah and the Islamic Republic of Iran come to mind-so do China, Russia and our own country.)

A line by line review of the budget process is not, inherently, a bad thing. People have talked, at times glibly, about it for decades now. It does, however, need to be conducted dispassionately, in a transparent manner and by professionals who do not stand to gain from cuts or add-ons. One last truism: Money and power tend to become more enticing, even when someone holds plenty of both. That’s why governance by fiat most often falls flat.

The Road to Diamond, Day 69: Being At Ease in Place

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

February 5, 2025, Manila- One of my nest eggs has been put into safe mode, by the investment company, until there is surety as to who has access to the account. This is one reaction to the news out of Washington. My own reaction is to be glad I am here in the Philippines, among friends whose only wish is to see me relax and be happy. To be clear, I would be staying relaxed in place if I were back at Home Base I, or in Grapevine, for that matter. Here, though, I have space to work out what I am going to decide, as to whether to return here for several months, in May or June, getting an extended visa; to settle into a Sheltering Lead with the Red Cross in northwest Arizona; or to hit the road in Europe and Africa, come autumn. These are Plans 1, 2 and 3, ordered by preference.

I am learning to be comfortable in place. Ironically, this is happening because I value the company and presence of someone, who herself is constantly in motion, and not really at ease with indecision. She has been good for me, in that I can let her know that the wheels are turning, whilst being in a situation where I am weighing multiple options. It’s been a while since that has been the case, and of course, there will be people who are disappointed by my choosing one option over the others-also a rarity in my life.

This year is going to be one of those, however. I would not entirely be surprised if my return flight to North America, on February 18, ends up being re-routed to Vancouver-or Monterrey. The Red Cross is likely to be intact, in the event I end up with Plan 2-or is it? A lot of water is going to be passing under several bridges, before we’re done.

I’m glad to have K in my life-and all of you, as well. Hope you can be at ease in place, wherever you might find yourselves.

The Road to Diamond, Day 67: Stay Brave

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

February 3, 2025, Manila- Over the weekend, people without security clearances gained access to sensitive information. So is the news coming our way from North America. People here in Manila have been, understandably, not overwhelmingly feeling bad about the internecine battles in Washington. This was, to them, and to many in struggling countries around the world, the mother of all First World problems-until the USAID closure.

It will take time for the President of the United States to sift through the programs of USAID and figure out which programs, if any, are “corrupt, and worthy of dismantling”. In the meantime, thousands, if not millions, of lives in countries across the world, will be at risk. This is not a simple matter of rooting out “crazy, ultraleft, socialist, wingnut policies”,as someone back in Prescott once characterized USAID. This is rule by swarming, done by individuals with little or not knowledge of the larger effects of their actions. It evokes the scene in “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest”, where Randle McMurphy leads the gang in party night, getting even a hydro-cephalic patient intoxicated. We will see where the present state of affairs leads, in short order. It will not be as easily resolved as the scene in the movie.

To anyone, anywhere, who is being affected by the turmoil in Washington, DC, and elsewhere: Be brave, stay focused and live your truth. Some may lose much, if not all, of their nest eggs, but judging from the slow recoveries that those before us have seen, in crises past, the losses will not be permanent. Be watchful, be vocal and do not let yourselves get distracted by multiple crises seeming to occur at once. Be discerning, and do not let less than savoury actors rule the day. Above all, follow the law, even if it looks like those in the driver’s seat are not.

Justice will prevail.

The Road to Diamond, Day 66: Not The Same Old Stuff

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Education, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

February 2, 2025, Manila- It was hot here today. I am far from the cold hills of western Pennsylvania, so there is no anticipation about what Punxsutawney’s groundhog will “prognosticate” about the course of the winter. Ditto, with respect to the forecasting rattlesnake of the Sonoran Desert. I am in a place of never-winter.

February 2 is, at least for me, a day to wrestle with my own feelings of being “less than”. I don’t know where this subpar self-concept came from or who might have set it in motion. I know that some, on both sides of my family, struggled with their own self-worth. Growing up, and even through the course of my marriage, those closest to me were put off by my self-criticism, to the point where, on a few occasions, I was someone with whom they were “making do”, tolerating.

In time, I have learned that in order to counter such diatribes, I have to do more than tolerate, or make do, with myself. I am up front, with the person I love most now, about my struggles. Though we are far from sure as to which direction our friendship will go, she is far more understanding and supportive than many were in my past. Looking back, they had their own self-doubts and struggles; so, they could not be of much help.

On the bright side, our communication is much better than the channels I had with those I loved, in bygone years. So, despite my lingering misgivings about self, I know that those will not be fed from outside of me. K and I will be friends forever, and as with some others at Home Base I and across the globe, we will always have one another’s back. My self-concept will not get in the way of being here for others. I want what is best for those I love and that also goes way back.

Unlike Bill Murray’s hapless Phil Connors, in the film Groundhog Day (1993), I don’t have any need to loop counterproductive attitudes and behaviours, in order to achieve what I either think I desire or genuinely want. So, today’s sitting in on a group that was mostly speaking Tagalog was actually time well-spent, as hearing a language other than English, for an extended period of time, leads to internalizing the tongue. I found this to be true of Spanish, French, Korean-even Navajo, Hopi and Persian, to some extent. I can at least pronounce words in print, having heard them spoken for a time.

That is just one way in which my time here is proving to be helpful, on a personal level. I look forward to experiencing others.