Category Archives: impediments

The Road to Diamond, Day 7: Songbirds

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 5, 2024- I received a video from the Baha’is of Manila, showing their newly renovated Center. All of my concerns about a safe workspace for the caretakers and kitchen staff have been addressed. It is a great day!

A Filipino expatriate here in Prescott told me, at a gathering this evening, that his mother recalls people in Palawan, the western island of the Philippines, sounded like birds when they talked. It was in reference to people going to that island, from other parts of the country, and speaking in dialects that others could not understand-like different songbirds not knowing each others’ trills.

I thought of how this dissonance happens, even between people who speak the same language, with the same accent. When we hear things through our own filters, rather than what is meant by the speaker, it’s as if there is scant understanding. One’s sweet warbling can even sound like the squawk of a parrot, or croak of a corvid. It is often best to run what you heard by the speaker, to dispense with any possible misunderstanding.

In any case, there is no need for long-term schisms between people of good will, when clear communication can be maintained.

The Road to Diamond, Day 6: Cred

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 4, 2024- There are reports from Washington about the current group of nominees for high office. Some appear estimable and competent; others, not so much. I will not get into the name game, as it’s more effectively played by others. Besides, partisanship is a losing proposition. Skill sets, though, are important in the day-to-day business of what we are given to call “adulting”.

I was not the greatest classroom teacher, by a long shot, especially in the early days of my career. Personal struggles kept me down, and only the Faith of Baha’u’llah helped me get back up. The raw materials instilled in me, by my parents needed that extra push to come to the fore. It was only in my thirties that credibility began to accumulate. That “cred” endured, even during the period of Penny’s decline, which took my eyes off the prize, out of necessity.

I mention this, because the recent trend towards “looking outside the circle” for people to head various organizations, is like a game of “Whack-a-Mole”. Some of the candidates are quick studies, and will bring their native intelligence to bear on whatever job they are assigned. Others are tough sells, for various reasons, and would no doubt struggle with some of the more difficult decisions that would land at their feet. There is never an easy way to fill positions, especially at the higher levels of an organization. Credibility, therefore, is something that needs constant attention, early on.

I look forward to seeing competent people, political stance aside to a certain extent, being tapped to manage the affairs of state. It is principle, moral fiber, and not ideology, that is the bottom line here.

The Road to Diamond, Day 5: Seoul

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Historical, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 3, 2024- As I wrapped up my visit with Aram and Yunhee, stopping for a satisfying lunch at a Pollo Regio branch, just down the street from HB II, a drama was unfolding in Seoul, South Korea, that may have worldwide implications.

As Aram and I drove to DFW, and he jockeyed for position on the road with at least one driver who didn’t know what he wanted to do, much less know where he was headed, thousands of people in Seoul found they had been betrayed. These were young men, who had voted into office a man who told them what they wanted to hear, that he felt their pain in the midst of a world that no longer put them on a pedestal, and that he would reverse the course of society and make men the center of the Universe, once more. Now, that same President was declaring martial law, placing himself on a pedestal-for the first time since 1989, when the last authoritarian President left office.

I lived in South Korea, in the final years of Chun Doo-hwan’s regime. My little family and I were not treated badly, but I noticed that those who dissented publicly were routinely dispersed by pepper-spray and water cannon. I noticed that the riot police themselves were not treated much better, by their minders. There was wire-pulling going on, setting the common people against one another, 24/7. This lessened, to a great extent, after a series of democratically-elected leaders, beginning with the conservatives Roh Tae-woo and Kim Young-sam, and followed by progressives, themselves alternating with conservatives, proceeded to bring South Korea into a wider world.

Liberals and conservatives alike are fond of using phrases like “There’s no turning back” ,and “New World Order”. The two groups’ meanings are, at first blush, polar opposites of each other. There are, however, commonalities. Both see a world in which common people have a voice and the power brokers are reined in. Where they differ is with regard to exactly who those power brokers are. Conservatives see the “enemy” as Hollywood, “the Global Left”, Planned Parenthood and international financiers. Progressives see their foes as “the Christian Right” and mega-donors who control the levers of the media-both mainstream and social. In fact, those who stand in their way are the same forces-individuals and groups whose agenda rests in exercising control.

This is where what happened yesterday in Seoul matters to the world at large. The young men who voted in Yoon Suk-yeol, in 2022, are very similar to those who have voted in authoritarian leaders across the globe, in the past six years. Their locus of control is external, so they see any attempt by society and government to reduce the marginalization of women as a threat to their own well-being. This, as well as for different reasons that are specific to countries like Argentina, El Salvador, Hungary and the Netherlands, has brought similarly authoritarian leaders to the fore. Those, both male and female, who see themselves as being buffeted by forces out of their control, are bound to turn to the first, and loudest, appeal to their sense of well-being. I give you Weimar Germany, post-WWI Italy and Spain, resource-poor Japan of the 1920s and ’30s.

When Yoon Suk-yeol tried to return South Korea to the militarized days of 1960-88, the people found their inner locus of control-and took their country back, in short order. This looms large, for those who see authoritarianism as the wave of the future. “It ain’t necessarily so”-Ira Gershwin.

The true New World Order will arise from those whose locus of control is internal.

Thanks, for Friends and….

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Posted by on in animal and plant life, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 28, 2024, Grapevine- Today marks another instance of the latest date that Thanksgiving can fall, by U.S. custom. There is grumbling, in some quarters, that this shortens the Christmas season. I, though, am more than happy to have T-day fall on this day in November, because it’s my birthday, and sharing the day with our national community, in our biggest holiday of the year, is to me, a blessing.

There has been, of late, a mini-tempest, wherein a relatively small, but vocal, group has called for the day to be recast as “Friendsgiving”. People can call the day of sharing whatever they want. To me, thanksgiving is not about Pilgrims and Wampanoags, per se, nor about false promises and the resulting oppression.

It is about gratitude-for friends, yes, and for family. I am grateful for all, in Arizona, California, Texas, Pennsylvania, Massachusetts, Maine, all across the West and across the continent. I am grateful for progressive friends, conservative friends, Baha’i, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, Wiccan, agnostic and atheist friends.

I like the company of my fellow veterans at Post 6; fellows in faith at devotionals, Spiritual Feasts and Holy Days; and my little family, whenever we get together, for meals, outings, board games and watch parties. My life is enhanced by the energy of children and youths, the drive of adults and the wisdom of elders. I treasure the company of the woman I love most, and all of our mutual friends, when I get to see them-either physically or online.

Of course, we must work, diligently, to address and overcome injustice. Let us, though, not replace one imbalance with another. Equilibrium is a delicate state and requires loving attention. It cannot be sacrificed for whimsical ideas, nor for the sake of a contrived sense of “purity”.

I am, as I turn 74, grateful for the Creator’s provisions-our food supply, paths to health, bounty of nature and all the varieties of terrain, bodies of water and living things that make our world such a treasure chest. I am grateful for our solar system and for the Universe, I am just grateful for being.

Happy Thanksgiving, friends.

A Year of Beauty; A Year of Release

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

November 27, 2024, Grapevine- This was the year that Mom went home to Dad and to her parents, siblings and youngest son. This was the year that we lost Marcia, Michele, Cousin David, Johnny and Verne. It seemed like a thousand celebrities went home to our Maker, whether they said they believed in Him or not.

It seemed for a time, that we would follow Mexico’s lead, and actually elect a woman as President-but that was not to be. Other forces have to run their course, and marginalized people have to feel that they truly matter and are heard. Other marginalized people will need to keep making their voices heard. As a friend said, after the election, the true gap is between classes, not races. There is much to be said for that notion.

I went clear across the continent, to Newfoundland and St.Pierre/Miquelon. Later, it was time to go northwestward, to Vancouver Island’s west coast and to the Sunshine Coast of British Columbia. There was time, in between and afterward, to pay respects to the woman who brought me into this world, and to be there when she left it.

In autumn’s colours and light, I left this continent for the longest period of time since I spent ten months in VietNam, so long ago. A good part of my heart stayed in the Philippines and waits there for me to return, early next year. The call to duty in Home Base I is also strong. I was, and am, determined to make the most of time I have there, that the Love of Baha’u’llah will be felt more strongly in that swath of north central Arizona.

Small gaps were closed this year. I spent time in a place that was central to the first stages of the American War for Independence; honoured a First Nations people, in two Canadian provinces and two others, on the opposite side of the country; spent a Baha’i Holy Day in the first House of Worship built in the Western Hemisphere; visited the most temperate place in the Philippines, and the westernmost part of that country; paid the last money owed on two credit accounts. I went to the top of Astoria Column, and later watched “The Goonies”, which was set in that mouth of the Columbia River. I saw whales swimming in the wild. I overcame some lingering doubts about myself.

So now, 73 is saying goodbye, and its successor promises to usher in a year of fruition, in place of this year of effort and struggle. A bit of 2024 remains, and there are goals to be reached in December. I will think further on them, as 74 marches in, tomorrow.

Down Time

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Entertainment, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving, Travel

November 26, 2024, Grapevine, TX- There really is no such thing as down time.

Sitting in the arrivals area of Terminal B, at Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport, while waiting for my son to complete a personal matter, I got to witness several slices of life. A little girl followed her slightly older sister, in a version of mall walking. They circled around the luggage carousels, at least six times.

Another child decided she would push both her mother’s suitcase and her own, which had her backpack balanced on top. The experiment fell apart, when the backpack tumbled off. Mom just took her suitcase and carried the backpack. Child had enough to handle with her own bag.

Little boy decided he would run around and check out the moving carousel. His gentle mother came and picked him up, soothing his squalling voice, by explaining that she needed his help in finding their suitcase. She did not let him climb into the empty bin that was going around the carousel. Oh, the minds of toddlers!

There was no down time, once Aram came and got me at the passenger pick-up point. We discussed some aspects of my game plan for next year. We also had a wide-ranging discussion of current events. There were errands done, a nap taken (okay, that was my “down time” again) and the three of us watching The Goonies, which Yunhee and I had never seen. I found it interesting, seeing actors I only know from adult roles (Sean Astin, Josh Brolin, Martha Plimpton) in their early years and John Matuszak, a professional football player, who became an actor, as the unlikely hero, Sloth. The silly film’s redeeming plot twist came when the namesake group of kids came to the deformed, but intelligent, Sloth’s defense.

In a world of humans, individual needs and interesting sideshows, there is no real down time.

Storage

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Posted by on in collaborating, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 25, 2024- One way or another, sometime next year, much of what I own and choose not to give away or sell, will be placed in storage. My game plan for 2025 will be discussed with my little family, over the next eight days. There are three options, but time in my current residence is getting short. More on what will transpire, as we go along.

Things can be placed in storage; feelings cannot. Many people stuff their emotions, either because they are internally uncomfortable or because they are unacceptable to those closest to them. I used to try and stuff my feelings. They came out anyway, in highly counterproductive ways, ranging from physical uncoordination to social awkwardness. There was, in retrospect, no real reason for this, except my misconception that being myself was an imposition on my family and would not be accepted by my peers.

This conviction was somewhat, but not completely, erased by marriage, career and parenthood. The emotions that remained “in storage” were rooted out later, when I was responsible for Penny’s care and for getting myself together, after her passing. There were those who understood and encouraged my growth, and there were those who would not cut me any slack. Fortunately, both contributed to the release and dismissal of those demons.

Storage has its place-and that is for temporary safeguarding of material possessions, like keepsakes and books that are not immediately needed. Feelings, though, should not be subject to “safekeeping”-at least not long term.

Pre-Approved

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 22, 2024- An earnest woman offered advice to her long-time friend, regarding how to handle a nettlesome and persistent critic. He left the conversation, quietly, and headed home. A short time later, he called her and announced he was cutting ties with her, saying she was being unfair to the other person. Her own cage rattled, the lady called another friend, who told her to not pay heed to the man. “You are not worthless; you are pre-approved”.

We all know about “pre-approved”-the ploy by certain credit bureaus and financial institutions to get us to pursue lines of credit and personal loans, at what look like generous terms. Most often, a closer will come in, hem and haw and bring the deal to a good, old-fashioned shut down.

We humans are, however, pre-approved by the Creator, in the truest sense of the term. We each come with strengths, offerings, challenges to meet. Many of these are shared with others, but always in a way unique to the bearer. Each of us can make a special mark, or collaborate with those around us to create a tower of strength.

None of this depends on the approval of those on the outside of the process. Monday Morning quarterbacks can be useful in suggesting ways to correct errors in a given process, but they are not entitled to dismantle the effort, nor are they in a position to drag those who are in the vanguard of the action through the mud.

Post-mortems are best carried out by those who have given their all. Their skills, their energy, their willpower is pre-approved.

Integrity

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 21, 2024- It didn’t surprise me, when United States Attorney General nominee, Matt Gaetz, withdrew his name from consideration, citing the legal maelstrom surrounding his public and private behaviour. The man at least showed enough integrity to not want the country to be saddled with focusing on the allegations against him, at a time of transition. For that, he deserves our collective thanks.

No one, male or female, deserves anything but opprobrium for proven actions against minor children or any other vulnerable people. Whatever Gaetz might face as a private citizen remains to be seen. This, however, goes beyond ideology or one’s place on the political spectrum. For that matter, it transcends “race”, “nationality”, “creed” or “sexual orientation”. I remember when various Presidential aides and at least one Congressman were caught up in investigation of ethics violations. There were a business-oriented Republican, an Old South Democrat and an African-American liberal Democrat. My father had harsh words to say about each one.

Integrity is an equal opportunity quality, as are all virtues. Everyone can summon it, when it serves their purpose. The trick is to have that purpose meld with doing right by the people, and by the nation. Matt Gaetz did so, today. Let’s see it become standard behaviour, from our public servants-across the board.

The Face of Unity

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Family, impediments, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 20, 2024- “The core of a child’s education starts with the mother.” Upon my uttering that statement, a chorus of naysayers erupted with their buts, howevers and whatabouts. Methinks they missed the word core. A father does indeed have to stand alongside a mother, and augment the child’s learning. Grandparents and other adult relatives are the second layer of learning reinforcement. Teachers and neighbours, the “village” that it takes to raise a child, are the tertiary layer, and on outward it goes. No, friends, the entire village cannot be on top of the child, all at once.

Several of us were gathered in a comfortable Southwestern-style home, to ponder the question, “What does a unified community look like?” Much of the time was spent in putting forth, and sifting through, various and sundry individual points of view and reflections on life experiences that emanate from life in an often harsh and imperfect world.

Unity starts with respect for, and from, the individual. It proceeds outward, only when one has self-respect and when genuine respect for others emanates from oneself. That respect has to be a two-way street. A political conservative, even a reactionary, cannot advance real unity, without having respect for liberals and progressives. The converse is equally true.

Unity continues with each one having what my father called the courage of your convictions. True courage involves recognizing that what I think and feel does not have to be what anyone else thinks and feels-and the converse is also true. I can be equally at home talking with the members of my American Legion Post, or with conservative Christian friends, as I am among Progressive groups or those committed to social justice. Their opinions are not their souls.

Unity necessitates that the group be able to separate fact from fancy. It also goes back to respect: No adult has the right to live their life through their child, or even through their spouse. We live for our loved ones, and with them. Arriving at a point of unity means talking with the significant other, with the offspring, ascertaining everyone’s wants, needs, dreams and seeing what is most important for the group, and for each of its members. Penny’s mantra was “Consultation is finding out.” I can think of no better way to put it.

Do you think that submitting to the dictates of a strongman will solve the problems of the community, or of the nation? How does that affect the future of your children-both in the immediate and in the far future? Do they not have a say in the matter?

Want to invest in bitcoin? How will that impact your family or group of friends? Should you not discuss this fully with your near circle?

Wish you had a son, instead of a daughter-or vice versa? Does that give you the right to talk him/her into transitioning, even before full adulthood, or even before full puberty? How will that impact the life of that precious soul-tomorrow, next year, and ten, twenty, fifty years from now? Is that not an informed decision to be freely made by the person in question, as a mature adult?

It is well-known that I have deep feelings for someone who presently lives far from me. I also have deep feelings for my little family in Texas, for my siblings and extended family, across the continent and for all manner of friends in this community, and beyond. Any decision that I make, that impacts the life of any one of them, will actively take into consideration their thoughts, feelings and sensibilities. That is my path of unity.

The impact on unity of our decisions is large and small. Slight disunity is like a pebble in a shoe. Major disunity is like a brain tumour, or an abdominal stone. Most, if not all, of it can be avoided by consultation. The greater the chasm, the longer the bridge.

We did not arrive at a picture of what unity looks like, but we did leave the house with an overall sense of respect for one another. We did arrive at the realization that we are each primarily spiritual beings in physical bodies. We will proceed from there, in our deliberations.