Category Archives: impediments

Pre-Approved

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 22, 2024- An earnest woman offered advice to her long-time friend, regarding how to handle a nettlesome and persistent critic. He left the conversation, quietly, and headed home. A short time later, he called her and announced he was cutting ties with her, saying she was being unfair to the other person. Her own cage rattled, the lady called another friend, who told her to not pay heed to the man. “You are not worthless; you are pre-approved”.

We all know about “pre-approved”-the ploy by certain credit bureaus and financial institutions to get us to pursue lines of credit and personal loans, at what look like generous terms. Most often, a closer will come in, hem and haw and bring the deal to a good, old-fashioned shut down.

We humans are, however, pre-approved by the Creator, in the truest sense of the term. We each come with strengths, offerings, challenges to meet. Many of these are shared with others, but always in a way unique to the bearer. Each of us can make a special mark, or collaborate with those around us to create a tower of strength.

None of this depends on the approval of those on the outside of the process. Monday Morning quarterbacks can be useful in suggesting ways to correct errors in a given process, but they are not entitled to dismantle the effort, nor are they in a position to drag those who are in the vanguard of the action through the mud.

Post-mortems are best carried out by those who have given their all. Their skills, their energy, their willpower is pre-approved.

Integrity

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 21, 2024- It didn’t surprise me, when United States Attorney General nominee, Matt Gaetz, withdrew his name from consideration, citing the legal maelstrom surrounding his public and private behaviour. The man at least showed enough integrity to not want the country to be saddled with focusing on the allegations against him, at a time of transition. For that, he deserves our collective thanks.

No one, male or female, deserves anything but opprobrium for proven actions against minor children or any other vulnerable people. Whatever Gaetz might face as a private citizen remains to be seen. This, however, goes beyond ideology or one’s place on the political spectrum. For that matter, it transcends “race”, “nationality”, “creed” or “sexual orientation”. I remember when various Presidential aides and at least one Congressman were caught up in investigation of ethics violations. There were a business-oriented Republican, an Old South Democrat and an African-American liberal Democrat. My father had harsh words to say about each one.

Integrity is an equal opportunity quality, as are all virtues. Everyone can summon it, when it serves their purpose. The trick is to have that purpose meld with doing right by the people, and by the nation. Matt Gaetz did so, today. Let’s see it become standard behaviour, from our public servants-across the board.

The Face of Unity

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Family, impediments, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 20, 2024- “The core of a child’s education starts with the mother.” Upon my uttering that statement, a chorus of naysayers erupted with their buts, howevers and whatabouts. Methinks they missed the word core. A father does indeed have to stand alongside a mother, and augment the child’s learning. Grandparents and other adult relatives are the second layer of learning reinforcement. Teachers and neighbours, the “village” that it takes to raise a child, are the tertiary layer, and on outward it goes. No, friends, the entire village cannot be on top of the child, all at once.

Several of us were gathered in a comfortable Southwestern-style home, to ponder the question, “What does a unified community look like?” Much of the time was spent in putting forth, and sifting through, various and sundry individual points of view and reflections on life experiences that emanate from life in an often harsh and imperfect world.

Unity starts with respect for, and from, the individual. It proceeds outward, only when one has self-respect and when genuine respect for others emanates from oneself. That respect has to be a two-way street. A political conservative, even a reactionary, cannot advance real unity, without having respect for liberals and progressives. The converse is equally true.

Unity continues with each one having what my father called the courage of your convictions. True courage involves recognizing that what I think and feel does not have to be what anyone else thinks and feels-and the converse is also true. I can be equally at home talking with the members of my American Legion Post, or with conservative Christian friends, as I am among Progressive groups or those committed to social justice. Their opinions are not their souls.

Unity necessitates that the group be able to separate fact from fancy. It also goes back to respect: No adult has the right to live their life through their child, or even through their spouse. We live for our loved ones, and with them. Arriving at a point of unity means talking with the significant other, with the offspring, ascertaining everyone’s wants, needs, dreams and seeing what is most important for the group, and for each of its members. Penny’s mantra was “Consultation is finding out.” I can think of no better way to put it.

Do you think that submitting to the dictates of a strongman will solve the problems of the community, or of the nation? How does that affect the future of your children-both in the immediate and in the far future? Do they not have a say in the matter?

Want to invest in bitcoin? How will that impact your family or group of friends? Should you not discuss this fully with your near circle?

Wish you had a son, instead of a daughter-or vice versa? Does that give you the right to talk him/her into transitioning, even before full adulthood, or even before full puberty? How will that impact the life of that precious soul-tomorrow, next year, and ten, twenty, fifty years from now? Is that not an informed decision to be freely made by the person in question, as a mature adult?

It is well-known that I have deep feelings for someone who presently lives far from me. I also have deep feelings for my little family in Texas, for my siblings and extended family, across the continent and for all manner of friends in this community, and beyond. Any decision that I make, that impacts the life of any one of them, will actively take into consideration their thoughts, feelings and sensibilities. That is my path of unity.

The impact on unity of our decisions is large and small. Slight disunity is like a pebble in a shoe. Major disunity is like a brain tumour, or an abdominal stone. Most, if not all, of it can be avoided by consultation. The greater the chasm, the longer the bridge.

We did not arrive at a picture of what unity looks like, but we did leave the house with an overall sense of respect for one another. We did arrive at the realization that we are each primarily spiritual beings in physical bodies. We will proceed from there, in our deliberations.

“We Don’t Do That, Here”

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 19, 2024- It did not really surprise me, when a driver, headed south, blew through the red light. It did not surprise me, either, later this afternoon, when a self-absorbed young man pushed open the door to the gym and let it fly back. We who were behind him, saw it coming and just hung back a bit.

These were the gadflies, because we don’t customarily act in those manners towards our neighbours, around here. I rather doubt that most people, anywhere, behave in such a fashion, but here we are.

This is a town, though, where cowboys and hippies long ago made peace with each other. Arch-conservatives and progressives gather each Tuesday at noon, on opposite corners of Gurley and Cortez, each posting their respective messages. When it’s all over, the two groups mix together and socialize. A while back, when Red for Ed was a popular phrase used by liberal teachers, a rally was being held at Courthouse Square. A disgruntled reactionary, a lawyer of some repute, decided it’d be worth his while to drive by and yell cuss words at the mothers with children who were standing on the sidewalk. It was not the liberals who taught him right from wrong, but some supporters of then-President Trump who pulled him over. “We don’t do that here!” (He has not been visible at public events since that day.)

This is a town where support for clean air and water, for unadulterated, certified organic food, for natural supplements, is well-nigh universal. There are no questions asked of people who sport t-shirts or bumper stickers with provocative messages, because they don’t challenge those who promote the opposite messages. Live and let live, by and large, is what we do here.

This is, up to now, a town where unhoused people can get healthy meals and are less likely, for the time being, to be forced to sleep outside for lack of shelter. There are some who take issue with that, but for now, harassing the homeless is not something we do here.

This is, up to now, a town where the Master Plan specifically eschews discrimination based on race, national origin, gender, faith, political stance or sexual orientation. One city councilperson would like to see that changed, as that’s not how it is where she’s from. She is hearing, though, that discrimination is not something we do here.

We do civility here.

“How’s That for Love?”

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 19, 2024- So says Kate, the adolescent daughter of a pediatric surgeon and an intelligence operative, to her mother, after hugging her father, after he’d been attacked by the father of one of his patients. This began the second episode of “Lioness”.

Love doesn’t always come easily and even the deepest is not always requited. We humans always need to have free will, before any kind of attachment or commitment can be made. I am no different, in that regard. There are those whom I have placed in the categories of friend, or extended sibling, who once wished that I would offer a different, more intimate role in my life.

Then, there are situations where mutual love exists, but the life experiences of one or both parties serve as blocks to the free expression of that love. A fear of commitment may follow the sudden death of a spouse, after which there was no time for grieving, for processing, for closure. Compound that by the incomplete grieving of one’s children, and the wariness is multiplied.

The real deal, in this set of circumstances, places the needs of the loved one, and the loved one’s family, front and center. Nothing changes, in the lover’s self-concept. Alternative plans are prepared, just in case, but the communication does not stop. Life goes on, in every other avenue of endeavour, while every effort continues to help the beloved achieve dreams and goals. There is wide latitude given, in the hope that the grieving over the prior loss can resume, and become complete. There is a standing offer of emotional and spiritual support.

How’s that for love?

Pounded

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 16, 2024- No doubt, the wind and water were practically freezing people in their tracks, as the monster called Man-yi, the sixth (or seventh) of its kind to hit the Philippines, in little over a month, wrought floodwaters, mud and collapsing buildings, from Samar, in the central region known as Visayas to Aurora, in northeast Luzon. People who I helped, after the earlier Typhoon Kristine, will not be able to tell me if that aid survived Man-yi (“Pepito”), for several days. They appear to be safe, in either government shelters or with family, elsewhere. Those in Metro Manila, including K, have full plates, I’m sure, keeping track of those close to them who live in Bicol, Catanduanes and Samar. Metro itself does not appear to have suffered.

Here at Home Base, the talk is more about who will serve in what position. What will they do, to cut the national debt? Whose jobs will they cut? Will there be attention paid to what the new “masters” regard as frivolous programs? Will they have frivolous programs of their own? In any adjustment of budgets and spending that involves large numbers of people, there needs to be attention paid to the households, and communities, that will be disrupted if there are mass layoffs and job cuts. This process can not be a frivolity in its own right. It can’t be managed by AI, by people acting like AI or by someone several degrees of separation from those impacted on the ground. (That last has been a sore point with those who, ironically, identify with the populist movement which seems to have prevailed, worldwide.) It stands to reason that meaningful work needs to be generated, at local and state levels, or in the private sector, before the proverbial swamp gets drained.

Nature, in this time of global change, can be brutal and unforgiving. It has consequences, both anticipated and unknown. Government, in this time of rearrangement and a degree of revanchism, does not have to be blinkered, in its pursuit of economy and justice for the small tax payer. Planning ahead and layering of cutbacks can prevent wholesale collapse of local economies from immediate mass cuts in government spending. It is not impossible for jobs to transferred to the private sector or to lower tiers of government, if enough advance planning is exercised.

We don’t need to leave one another feeling pounded. Nature does that well enough, on its own.

Little Bubbles Burst

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, impediments, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 15, 2024- The young boy was at the end of his rope, sitting with an otherwise all-adult crowd, listening to songs not intended for his ears, because his mother had no choice other than to bring him along. Chairs were strung together, he laid down on them and managed to sleep for 30 minutes or so. The singer of ribald tunes noticed and sheepishly apologized, after his collaborator in the artists’ nook gave him The Look. The fare was noticeably more family friendly afterward. One little bubble got burst.

Not long ago, a woman frantically berated her co-worker for having stated that she voted a conservative slate, up and down ballot, almost two weeks ago. “You’re Mexican! Don’t you care that these guys are going to throw us all in private prison!!” The chastised one looked up and said, “Remember Vicente Fox? Adolfo Lopez Mateos? Besides, you and I are native born U.S. citizens. We need to be safe from the sicarios. The tough guys will do that for us.” Neither bubble was burst, by this conversation, but at least it happened.

The doctors, in a small urban hospital, on an island far to the northeast, routinely dismissed women who came to them with chronic pain. The issues presented seemed too “intractable”. Problems are supposed to just go away, when one is overburdened by being part of a short staff. That all stopped, when one of the “frequent flyers” up and died-from the cancer that was missed. The bubble of preconceived notions was burst, and loudly.

Our mental bubbles seem to keep us safe; until they don’t.

Charting Own Course

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Personal goals, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 9, 2024- Everyone deserves to chart their own course.

It turns out that the recent messages I received have little to do with me, at all. At some point in the not too distant future, the woman I love most in this world will be looking to find a position in a very sacred place. It is her long cherished dream to do this, so the last thing I ever want to do is be an impediment.

At this point in my life, the joy that would come from holding her or just being close to her is as nothing, when compared to the satisfaction of seeing my beloved K achieve this goal. Too often, even now, the dreams of one person, usually a woman, are subordinated to those of one, usually a man, who assumes a dominant role.

The thing I’d like to see more men, more people, embrace and foster the dreams of those they claim to love. Kathy will do so much good in any position she may take, at this most sublimely holy of spots, in service at a material level. Seeing her do this is dearer to my heart than any conventional relationship, as exhilarating as that would be. Seeing her reach any of her goals means the world to me.

My own course, at this point, will be determined largely by the needs of my little family and of this most cherished woman. I have lived a full and satisfying life, thus far, and accomplished many of my goals. Now, it is time to cheer on my loved ones, whether at their side or from afar.

https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-d&q=bridge+over+troubled+water#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:c096a59c,vid:nNq3c0NVhzA,st:0

Things That Need to Be Over and Stay Gone

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 7, 2024- This is just a list, of those social constructs and practices that I think should be relegated to the scrap heap, and stay gone.

Slavery; sex trafficking; spouse beating; child beating (not mild spanking, beating); beating of animals; coerced sex; drug trafficking; less-than-living wages; intentional spewing of heavy motor vehicle exhaust; intentional littering and illegal dumping; nuisance litigation,especially by the wealthy against the poor; intentional poisoning of soil and water; individual possession of military-grade weapons and ordnance; denigration of any country, ethnic group or organized community; parentally-induced sexual transition of anyone under the age of 18; persecution of any bona fide community of faith in the Divine.

A few of these are bound to rankle some and irritate others. So be it. Some of these are bound to remain within the scope of individual choice. So be it. I just think that, all in all, we will have a much better world without these examples of inhumanity, or of people living through others.

Tomorrow in America……

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 5, 2024- Tomorrow in America, there will still be country music, R &B and all manner of pop and rock. The Philharmonic and Symphony Orchestras will still tune up and play. Basketball and hockey games will proceed, in their scheduled venues. Pro Football players will be practicing, anticipating the next games. Stores and restaurants will open, as usual.

Tomorrow in America, Taylor Swift, Beyonce and Ariana Grande will still be singing. So will Lee Greenwood, Travis Tritt and John Rich. The stock markets will be open, going up or down as they see fit. People will gather in coffee houses, and will talk with friends, or work their laptops or put their thoughts down on paper.

Tomorrow in America, Tim Walz will go back to governing Minnesota. JD Vance will return to representing Ohio in the U.S. Senate. Kamala Harris will resume her Vice Presidential duties, while Donald Trump may go out and play 9 holes, or maybe 12. Their supporters will ponder what to do with all that signage, and those who sported political t-shirts and sweat shirts will put them in storage. Candidates for lesser posts will either head back to their day jobs, or go to their attorneys’ offices, to draw up litigation. Elon Musk will go back to making cars and space shuttles.

Tomorrow in America, we ordinary citizens will focus on our loved ones, and on what is right in front of us. I will rise between 5-6, get myself together and communicate with my Lord, then with my beloved (before she has to go to sleep, on the other side of the Pacific). I will head up to the top of Mingus Mountain and down a bit, to Jerome. There, I will spend time pondering gems and minerals, symbols of the beauty that will outlast most of the living things on Earth. I will reflect on the greatness of this nation, which has not gone away. I will reflect on the wonders of this planet, which will not go away for another billion years or so, if then.

Tomorrow in America, life will go on.