Category Archives: impediments

Metro Manila, Day 7: The Envelope Girl

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Posted by on in collaborating, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

September 17, 2024, Manila- The little girl clutched her assigned supply of envelopes and note cards with one hand and held onto my arm with the other. She desperately wanted to get some pocket change, which I could have spared-but for the fact that a boy appeared, also carrying envelopes and note cards-and it is pretty much guaranteed that ten more “vendors”, along with a few pickpockets, would have surfaced, in short order. I walked along, with a platonic friend who is like a sister to me, and the little angel still clinging to my arm. No one got anything from me, and after I said “Palaam” (goodbye), at the corner, the pair hung back, looking surprised, but resigned.

Many of us, in the course of our lives, are like the Envelope Girl and her partner in grift. We hope for something from another person-whether it is commerce, approval, friendship or even some level of romance. Sometimes-oftentimes, we can get what we want. On other occasions, the answer is “No”, or “Maybe, just not right now”.

I have been both seeker and sought, plenty of times. Growing up, I was a well-liked, but never loved, adolescent-a permanent resident of what is nowadays called “The Friend Zone”.

There is no Friend “Zone”. There are only friends, those towards whom one feels fondly, with whom one is glad to share good times, thoughts and experiences. There are levels of friendship, from “acquaintance” (whatever that is) to a marital bond-and many levels in between. I can’t, however, recall any person in my life who has been consigned to a limited, stifling place in my world. There have been false friends, whose design was either transactional (like the street urchins above) or vengeful(their whole shtick being to teach me a lesson). Those have been let go, blocked/deleted. There have been those who have been physically attracted to me, but the converse has not been true-and we have managed to build solid, platonic/fraternal bonds. The same is true of many to whom I have been drawn-and the converse has also been true.

At the top of the scale, there are two: Penny, my departed wife, and a person to whom I have made several references, of late. Penny was, when we first met, immediately in full-on attraction mode, (as was I, to her). That settled into a period of retraction, during which she had space to deal with residual feelings towards former beaux, a dalliance with a more dashing suitor and sorting out all manner of conflict between making a commitment and having “freedom”. My feelings never went away, but I stayed in the background, as long as she needed me to. After 18 months, we were married, had a solid, if sometimes stormy, wedlock and I was by her side through it all-including thirteen years of physical and cognitive decline, as I have described in earlier posts.

I met K last year, and had the same immediate attraction. Time will tell, if the friendship will approach the level that Penny and I reached. There are many variables, and all I can say is that my feelings aren’t going away, even as my person gives her the space that I gave Penny. A beloved soul deserves no less. Our lives will continue, will remain full and our goals-both mutual and separate-will be achieved. No two people, no matter how drawn to one another, can possibly meld into a unit where one is indistinguishable from the other. “Between them is a barrier that they overpass not.”-Baha’u’llah.

It has been a wonderful ride, to this point. I’m here, if she needs me.

Metro Manila, Day 6: Transcending Limits

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

September 16, 2024- “Every exit is an entrance to someplace else”-Sign in the Rooftop Restaurant, at Ola! Hostel. I am nearing the end of the first Manila phase of my visit here. It’s just as well. My friend needs to get on with her day job, and I have promises to fulfill, in the outlying areas. After hopefully helping one of the other Manila friends with filing a claim, tomorrow, I will try to get to Corregidor on Wednesday and head for Baguio, in central Luzon, from Thursday to Sunday. The first few days of next week are uncertain, especially given my dearest friend’s work schedule, but I will head to Palawan, for five days, on Sept. 26. Visits to Mindoro and the Bicol region may follow, as October gets underway.

Every trial, every effort one makes, comes with a valuable lesson. Those lessons are what allow for transcendence. One such lesson was with respect to the One SIM card I tried using. It cannot receive text messages from the United States, so it ended up being useless and I have gone back to my regular number. The other thing about trials is that they call me out on whether I mean what I say. I do, but there is always a need to prove that to those who are important to me, but don’t know me all that well.

A long day has come to a close. My intuition, with regard to K, is ever spot on and I will continue to be her rock. The woman has so much to offer this world. That’s all I can say.

Metro Manila, Day 4: Peekaboo with a Volcano

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

September 14, 2024, Manila- Taal Volcano was once a destination for boaters and horseback riders. Not that long ago, another Baha’i who is fairly prominent, and who I met once or twice at gatherings,, came to Manila. Kathy took him to see Taal and there was at the time a horseback ride to the crater. The mountain has, since last year, been consistently in eruption mode, and so the horses and boat landings are in abeyance.

Our little group of six headed towards the city of Tagaytay, 59.3 kilometers (36.8 miles) southwest of Manila, early this morning. We found our first stop Lake Hotel, enveloped in fog and low cloud cover. Kathy told me that this establishment was the scene of a triple homicide, a few weeks after she and her sons came here for a mini-holiday. Jack Torrance, Lloyd the Barkeep and the crazy Englishman, from “The Shining” were nowhere in sight, so we had nothing to worry about. (The actual killer is in custody, and faces trial soon).

What is often a prime spot for viewing Taal Volcano was barely a good vantage point for seeing the surrounding lake. Nonetheless, the intervening forest was itself a worthy subject for photography. So, as always, were K and her friends.

View of rainforest between Lake Hotel, Tagaytay and Lake Taal. (above and below)
Lake Taal and its boat wharves, from Lake Hotel.
Presenting Taal Volcano, (in the background)

Our next venue was closer to the mountain: Island Dreams Resort, which offers a lovely, spacious courtyard, boat rides around the lake (but no island stopover, or horseback ride to the caldera, as were formerly on the bill of fare) and grace for those who add to their purchased meals with food of their own. That was us, as we had planned on a picnic-at Picnic Grove Park, above the Lake, but were guided to this venue, by a cordial tout who was drumming up business, at Picnic Grove’s gate. We walked through a cloudburst, with umbrellas lent us by the hopeful Island Dreams boat concessionaires. The ladies turned down the ride, though, and I stood by them-as who wants to ride in an open boat in a downpour? We did enjoy the beef shank soup and a plate of fried bancus fish. Bancus are only found in Lake Taal, though they resemble smelts, which are a delicacy from the North Atlantic, and a few other species of unscaled fish.

Taal Volcano, from the boat dock at Island Dreams Resort
Island Dreams Resort, lower Tagaytay.

Our delectable hybrid meal finished, we the sextet headed off on a few more of K’s places of interest. Fantasy World, a would-be replica of Disneyland’s Fantasy Land, was built and never opened, we discovered. The family of roadside vendors who manned the gated entrance told us it was to finally open to the public in December. We bought snacks from them and posed for photos-a staple of the day, and of any trip involving K and her lady friends. As you can guess, I never tire of that practice.

The once and future Fantasy World, Lemery, Batangas.
The Easy-to-Please Six were not bothered by the venue being closed.
The view of Lake Taal, from the south, was as stunning as that from Island Dreams. The ladies each identified their “dream house”. Some things are universal.

Our last successful stop of the day was at Sonya’s Secret Garden. I sensed this was especially important to K, and so kept an eye out for the sign, getting the driver to do a u-turn, shortly after he overshot the access road. This lovely series of mini-gardens and wellness-related shops kept us enthralled for an hour. Kathy engaged a tour guide, who explained the workings of each garden and the different wellness operations, which include an acupuncture clinic. None of us needed to be pincushions today, but one never knows. Here are a few flower and leaf photos:

Red-leafed bushes make fragrant ground cover.
Morning glories are everywhere, and lend their name to Sonya’s restaurant.
Hera is holding up the world-quite a switch from Atlas-but she had plenty of fortitude, also.
New Guinea Creepers are among Sonya Garcia’s favourite flowers.
Even the archways are floral.
The cabana is cozy place.
This steed is taking no one anywhere!

It was a masterwork of planning by a loving and talented lady, along with what must have been an exhausting day of driving for our friend, Jerry. We missed out on only one venue: The People’s Park in the Sky. We reached the entrance at nightfall, and learned that there were no lights on the premises. Flashlight tag was not among our plans, so back to Manila we went.

I am in awe at the commitment and fortitude of my Filipino friends. The next 4.5 weeks will be equally energizing, I’m certain.

Metro Manila, Day 3: No Place for Bad Luck

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Entertainment, Family, Historical, impediments, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

September 13, 2024, Manila- There are two schools of thought about Friday the 13th. One holds that both Friday and the number 13 augur badly. The other counters with the cultural artifact that the day is named for Freya, Norse goddess of love, war and fertility. It also is deemed unlucky, in Norse mythology, as Loki the Trickster was the thirteenth Norse god.

The Vikings may have given themselves reason to be conflicted about Friday the 13th, but I personally have never had any hard luck associated with the day. This day was no different. I was able to extend my time at Ola! Hostel, my dear friend arranged a nice group outing for tomorrow, as well as help me get a bus ticket for a visit to central Luzon, late next week. and I was able to join a study group from Arizona online.

Most of the day was quotidian, otherwise, but that has never been a bad thing. I helped with shopping, at an open air market and house sat, while the Baha;i Cnter’s caretaker went to tend to another matter.

Every day, loud or quiet, has its advantages.

Metro Manila, Day 1: Joy, in The Midst of Fatigue

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

September 11, 2024, Manila- The young couple must have been amused, watching me go through the same pockets of my well-worn pack, several times, before finding what was needed for a small task, whilst waiting for the final leg of my flight: Hong Kong-here.

Such things happen, after five hours of sleep on a trans-oceanic journey. I chose to do this, so will take full responsibility. It was still a lovely day. The flight was 2/3 full, and the ambiance was casually business-like. We even had a light lunch served-unusual, on a short hop.

My dear friend was occupied with matters of domestic drudgery, so I didn’t get to see her, but we communicated happily back and forth. There will be much time for get-togethers, in the days ahead. I did visit with one of our friends, after settling in at Ola! Hostel, which will be my Home Base for several days, while I am in Manila. I was able to help said friend with setting up an appointment, next week, to handle a long-standing concern. It took a little bit of memory jogging, to locate the Baha’i Center, after a year’s absence, and being a bit “on fumes”. I finally also was able to sort out the Philippine peso coins from random Euros that somehow got mixed in the Peso jar.

It’s humid here, but not as stiflingly hot as in the height of summer. I will do more walking as, despite the entreaties of a car rental tout, I have absolutely no plans to drive anywhere in the Philippines. The bus, jeepney and taxi drivers have my full confidence-they grew up here and can handle what seems to me to occasionally be chaos.

On this otherwise solemn, and fatigue-filled, day, I felt joy at being back in another happy place.

A Short and Important Day

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Technical stuff, Travel

September 10, 2024, Hong Kong– What’s today’s date? That was not a “senior moment” question for me. Rather, it was one that was brought into my consciousness by the International Date Line. Longitude is our arbitrary tool for measuring time on Earth, as it helps track the “westward movement” of the Sun. So, we left Los Angeles at 1:15 a.m., PDT and crossed into September 11, a scant five hours into the day. Thus today “lasted” only until 6 a.m., PDT, or 3 a.m., Hawaii Standard Time.

One of my favourite ladies messaged me, with some ideas about at least the first few days of my visit across the waters. My first favourite lady would have turned 96 today. Both took up a goodly amount of my thought and heart energy today. The first favourite was fond of the second, though they never met. Mom just liked what she knew of K’s heart. For that matter, another favourite lady, my late wife, has sent only positive inklings about my newest friendship.

I handled the long flight (13 hours) by getting up and stretching, especially when the knees felt stiff after sitting for a stretch. Five hours of sleep at a time also kept me functional, when the short learning curve of navigating Hong Kong International Airport’s transfer system presented itself. It’s actually not that hard: Just go through security inspection again..This is a great crossroad of the world, and a city that is worthy of a visit, in and of itself-at a later date.

This has been one of the rare occasions when I have become closer to people from mainland China, and it was a pleasant revelation. Chinese people take care of themselves first, by and large, but are not ruthless or crass about it. They are not always intuitive, but I am not sure I would be either, if there were 1.1 billion compatriots underfoot.

Cathay Pacific Airlines has efficient counter and flight staff. The food is varied, and fresh-and in just the right portion size, for a sizable crowd that is mostly sitting for 13 hours. It was not a hard flight; at least not for me.

So a lot was packed into this short day-as it ever will be, as long as I have all my facuties.

Grace

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, impediments, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

September 5,2024-

Grace be unto the angels who watch over me. Mom and Dad, Penny, Brian, Bunny and Norm, my grandparents, friends Marcia, Gordon, Margaret, Sallie, John H. They bring blessings to this small spiritual center.

Grace and benevolence to those who seek to oppress, that they may make a turn from their pursuit of power, vengeance, retribution, hegemony. May they see the value of unconditional love.

Grace, protection and guidance be to the children and youth, that they may realize their dreams, and bring about a convergence like those which have been tried, so often in the past.

Grace and beneficence to the dour, the tired and the disconsolate, that they may see the beauty and joy that they have overlooked, in the course of their viewing work as drudgery, as a necessary evil.

Grace be unto all the Universe, that every element, every creature be mindful, heartfelt of the Source that brought us all into being.

It was a good day today. The kids and I struggled a bit, with some features of the technological program, but all worked together and we accomplished the tasks. That was the morning, followed by a hearty curried chicken lunch. An evening meeting, of one of the organizations whose leadership I had found a bit oppressive, proved quite welcoming and joyful-with more people in attendance, who had previously avoided “the club”. The leaders themselves were far more cordial than in the recent past. Maybe they are feeling more optimistic, and therefore more expansive.

May it continue.

A Healthy Spine

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Posted by on in Assistance, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

September 4, 2024- The kids guessed as to my age, early this afternoon: Base was 52 and top was 87. (One guessed closely-72.) These were ten-year-olds, so there we are. When I was ten, anyone older than my Dad (33) was over the hill. These children cut me a lot of slack.

More authoritative was my chiropractic exam-the spine and nerves are in solid state, from top to bottom. This is the last physical exam until next year, save a dental check in December, so with continuance of the current regimen, I will be just fine-as 74 approaches.

Also gratifying, on this short and sweet work day, were having my Home Base minders to dinner this evening, at a quality Italian restaurant; getting in a solid workout at Planet Fitness and learning how to edit a sent e-mail, and send the revision out to all parties, without starting from scratch. Son is back from his annual Reserve training, so there is one less item of concern.

The number of boxes left to check on the trip preparation list is down to three or four: Last day of work is tomorrow, Sportage pre-storage maintenance is on Friday and I will get a fresh haircut in the next day or so. There will be several social and semi-business gatherings, between now and Monday noon; then I will head to Phoenix and beyond.

Loyalty

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

September 3, 2024- The old reminiscing intelligence officer, in the currently-playing film “Reagan”, speaks at one point of the reason people give their lives: “Not for the nation, nor for the Party, the State, or even for God-but for one another. ” It rings true: Behind every sacrifice, there is loyalty to a loved one, or maybe several- Parents for children, and vice versa; siblings for one another; friends, likewise and, occasionally, a few noble souls for their compatriots as a group.

After a recent non-verbal dust-up between me and someone with a more elitist view of life, several friends have asked if there is anything they might do to help. There isn’t, really, and the best thing for me to do is to let the other person alone, and let time do its thing. Personality differences rarely get resolved through intervention, shaming or castigation. People are the sum total of their experiences, plus all that DNA. Only internal processing and heart transformation can lead to a turn-around. Only that turn-around can make someone loyal to others beside self. Besides, I have to fall back on the message of one of Sportage’s bumper stickers: “Love your enemies and you won’t have any”.

My own loyalty to anyone besides myself and my immediate family came late, and came hard. Only giving up alcohol really changed my temperament, and even then, it was Penny’s love, and the Baha’i teachings, that brought my heart more into awareness of a larger circle of humanity. Beforehand, my concern for the human race was present in the background, surfacing on occasion-and therefore coming across as contrived, mainly because internally it was an abstraction.

Now my layered loyalty is what sustains me, both emotionally and physically.

Red and Blue

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

September 1, 2024- No, this is not about partisan politics, per se. It is about the concept, first advanced by Laurence Fishburne’s character, Morpheus, in The Matrix, of the effects of a red pill (leading one to question authority and research for oneself) and of a blue pill (acceptance of what one is told and not looking very deeply into even the most vital aspects of life).

Partisanship can enter into this, but there are those on both sides who blindly repeat what has been said by their favoured candidates and blindly castigate whatever has been said or done by whoever is representing the “other side”. Kids, the Divine put all of us here, and not we can blindly do anything. There are also those on both sides who question what is being put out there in the marketplace of ideas.

Personally, I want proof of what someone tells me or what is being bruited about on the Internet or on Talk Radio. I want to know their original sources, just as I expect someone to ask me-“Where’s the proof?” I recall when conservatives were primarily business people, whose livelihoods depended on a culture based on facts and figures. I recall when liberals were heart people, whose lives were based on the Golden Rule. There are large numbers of each who still adhere to those timeless values, and who do well when they respect each other’s place in a culture of balance, based on truth, not fantasy. These will straighten the mess out, if there is a mess, after the electoral process has played out.

People in “Blue” areas can take a red pill and those in “Red” states, a blue pill-and many do one or the other. My make-up makes the red pill a natural. You may choose otherwise, as befits your temperament. Remember, though, there are consequences for either choice.