Category Archives: Inner Struggles

The Fallacy of Coercion

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 25, 2023- Once, after Penny’s funeral, when I found a modest, but pliable, insurance deposit in my checking account, I got a call from someone who used the fact, that I had only myself to support, as a springboard to ask that I help fund a surgery that was needed. In those days of some confusion and recovery that accompanied the grieving process, I did not project ahead to the expenses of the ensuing four months before the final life insurance settlement would find its way to me. It felt like it was my bounden duty to help this individual, who had little. The choice was made to proffer a substantial amount in that direction. Fast forward three months, and I received a proposal from my handyman to renovate the house. Without giving it the proper amount of thought, I initially agreed to his offer, only to do the math afterward-and to end up cancelling the project, thus burdening him with returning the materials-and burdening myself with the loss of a friend.

I have come to the realization, these many years later, that there really was no coercion from anyone. I made both decisions, conflicting as they were, out of a desire to make someone else happy. To what extent the first person achieved happiness is a matter of opinion. I have not been willing or able to continue to dole out money in that direction. It goes without saying, that the second person is just as glad if he never sees me again.

In life, there are relatively few matters that are imperative. A parent must do the best to raise any child, who is birthed or adopted, to adulthood. A pet owner must see to the animal’s well-being. A citizen must contribute to the support of community, state and nation-both financially and civically. A worker must do the best to fulfill the basic requirements of a job. Communities must provide for the education of their young and for the basic care of disabled and elderly residents.

All else, however, is a matter of choice. In the 1970s, the comedian Flip Wilson had a routine, on his television program, in which he played a character whose retort to being chastised was “The devil made me do it.” We Baha’is know the “devil” to be the ego of a person, when it entices one to overindulge base instincts or desires, acting against the better nature. It was anthropomorphized long ago, in the days of Babylon-and has had a physical image ever since. This has the effect of allowing a person to deflect any blame for actions-which was exactly Wilson’s point. That such self-indulgence can generate negative energy, which can and does harm self and others, does not change the essence of its nature.

There is much that I take on, both paid and volunteer work. In each case, I have come to the understanding with myself that my choices are made strictly in consulting with my conscience, and not because of any pressure from outside. Guilting, whining or yelling and screaming have only made me turn away from the supplicant. There is no such real thing as coercion, when you give the matter some thought.

Snow, and Then No

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 24, 2023- When I rounded the corner, coming back into Home Base after a night minding an empty shelter, I found the vehicles parked outside were covered with snow. An hour later, it was gone. This is a harbinger of what seems likely to be the rule, rather than the exception, of the days to come.

In recent weeks, I have seen the wishes of a departed friend be countermanded by his heirs, all for the sake of vengeance against others, who for the life of me have done them no harm. I am not directly involved in this, but a dear friend is-and so is the single mother of a small child. All one can wonder is, what benefit does a man in late middle age get from savaging the less fortunate?

There are numerous occasions when people have used ruses, machinations and straight-up aggression, to overturn policies and negate previous actions that have come to benefit the marginalized. Mostly, this seems to stem from a sense of entitlement, based on tradition and a long-standing state of affairs. It can result in reversal of fortune for the downtrodden-but to them, this is also more of the same, and yet, we wonder why they get angry, or despondent, or just plain defeated. Where is written that one class of people has an inherent right to dominate the rest, or even a segment of that rest? There is “The Divine Right of Kings”, but that has ever come with an equally valid “Divine Responsibility” for those same monarchs and overlords. No justice, no peace.

The water cycle mandates that what comes down, whether liquid or solid, must flow, be absorbed or evaporate. It must go where it can be of benefit to life, whether immediately or over time. Water can never just “disappear”.

The cycle of justice mandates that what is reasonably given, in good faith, by one person to another cannot be simply taken away, under any pretext, by a third party-even if that third party has convinced self, against all evidence, that he, or someone who has ingratiated self to him, is the victim. “Thou shalt not steal”; “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour”. This applies as much to the ongoing claim of “election fraud”, vis-a-vis 2020 and 2022, or the miser who finds self expected to share with others, as it does someone taking liberties with the last will and testament of another. Justice may be deferred, or denied for a time, but it can never just disappear.

Snow can seem to disappear, but the well-being of a person, or group of people, must not be made to seem so.

Walking Our Own Paths

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 18, 2023, Scottsdale- I almost didn’t recognize a young friend, with her hair pulled up and wearing glasses. Once that was corrected, I asked about her immediate plans and learned she was taking on a challenging course of study in the Public Health area. I mentioned another friend who had completed a similar course of study, and had also recently married. She noted that her life had proceeded in the opposite order of the other lady. As I see it, both women are doing great things for the human race and for our planet.

Each of us does what we need to do, according to our particular life plan. Some complete their education first, then find a life partner and have children. Others marry first, get their schooling and either start a family or live as a couple without children. Some do only one of the above. Others do none of it. Penny and I took the first course of action. Plenty of my friends and family have pursued a different course.

Regardless, we all have a role to play in the scheme of things, and surely, if we didn’t each pursue our own wondrous course, what a sad world we’d have. I consider myself greatly enriched by each of the diverse members of this large and beautiful family circle both biological and collegial, that surrounds me. I am proud of all of them.

There are those who wish I had taken a different path, in the years since Penny left this Earth. All I know is that I essentially have no regrets, as to the path I’ve followed and few regrets as to specific things I’ve done, these past twelve years. I hold that others are due the same consideration.

The House By Black Mesa

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Family, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving, Travel

March 14, 2023, Farmington, NM- Back in the 1980s and ’90s, an earnest young family of four lived in a compound, at the foot of a mesa we knew as Dinnebito (People’s Water). Some called it Mosquito Springs, but that was nothing extraordinary, either. There are people, and mosquitoes, around most potable water-and the latter are even less discriminating than the former, so they hang around the nasty stuff also.e

Many of the people who left Dinnebito did so because of the freeze on construction and home improvements established by Congress, due to the dispute over land, between Dineh and Hopi. By the time that was resolved, and the freeze lifted, around 2010, most people had already left, or passed on, as did the former Chairman and first President of the Navajo Nation, Dr. Peterson Zah, who was from nearby Low Mountain, where he was recently laid to rest, after a stellar life of service to the Nation and to the field of higher education.

The young family grew to five members, then was at four, when they moved to the house by Black Mesa, in the early 2000s. I had not seen them for nearly thirty years, so it was high time. First came a call on the mother, at her workplace, then an hour or so was spent visiting the father and, fleetingly, one of the daughters (who I remember as an 8-year-old) and her two children. The kids keep Grandpa busy in retirement and his overall demeanour is one of a man in full.

He made a quiet request to be a part of the next visit I make to the Baha’is in Utah, an easy enough request to fill, as Tonalea is on the way. Suitable advance plans would have to be made, so next time, I will head up there. This journey, I decided to give the southern end of Four Corners some love, so I am here in Farmington for the night, and will head over to Aztec Ruins tomorrow.

Grandpa (Chee) Chester and his current project.

Conundrums, and No Brainers

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Striving

March 9, 2023- While I was ordering a small lunch, whilst waiting on my tax returns to be finished, a former colleague came to the counter, to order her own meal. In conversation about the various schools, we both agreed that the placement of a somewhat older and much bigger child with 10-12 year-olds was a travesty. It occurs to me that it is a conundrum, in that it is unfair to not want to deal with a difficult person, out of disagreement with the politically-motivated placement. On the one hand, the machinations of adults should not be the cause of failing to educate a child-even an adolescent, placed among preteens. On the other, the child has the right to an education-even if it means that both teachers and other students are at some risk of injury. The conundrum remains in place, for the next 2 1/2 months. How often I, personally, will abide the situation remains to be seen, as so far, no one has pushed me on the matter.

To me, it is a no-brainer that the child in question be placed among age mates-as that appears to be the least restrictive environment, so conveniently ignored by those who want a more comfortable working situation for themselves. There are two private institutions, designed for children such as the one mentioned above. Both have refused to take him in. It is by this means, that the present situation was contrived, as an expedient way to rid themselves of someone they did not wish to have around. The problem has not gone away, and the child, far from being stupid, has realized that there is a growing number of people who don’t understand his difficulties-and has therefore amplified his rage.

I’ve seen this before; seven years ago, in fact. A much more untenable situation, involving several children, was derived from their inappropriate placements-again, due to a desire for expediency. Two colelagues and I were told to deal with it, the best we could-and the year ground to a halt, with little to show for all our efforts.

No one promises anyone a rose garden, in this life, but if Public Schools are given few resources, and are told by Private facilities, that are designed to deal effectively with specialized situations, that they do not wish to admit difficult children, it is no surprise that the Public Schools are seen as institutions of last resort and are judged as failing.

To me, it is a no-brainer that Public Law 94-142, which requires appropriate placement of a Special Needs student, in the least restrictive environment, be vigourously enforced-as it was when Penny was teaching and when I was a counselor, with input into such placements. It is not up to special needs institutions to cherry-pick who they will and will not accept, based on personality.

Trade-offs

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

February 28, 2023- “There are no solutions, only trade-offs.”- Thomas Sowell

One of the more provocative conservatives in our midst, Dr. Sowell has made a good many outrageous statements about “the passing scene”, but he is correct about a great generality of this life: Everything has a cost, as well as a benefit. The value of things great and small lies in the balance between the two.

My thoughts:

Further, all choices we make have immediate and long terms costs and benefits. Those things which cost us, with fleeting benefits, may be viewed as expenses. Those which have long-term benefits may be cast as investments. For example, a meal in a restaurant has mostly fleeting benefits, unless it also includes the generating or enhancement of a friendship or business deal. The deposit of funds towards the education of one’s child or grandchild should, one hopes, result in both the offspring’s well-being and prosperity, and benefits to society, stemming from the person’s expertise.

The same observations may be made, with regard to social movements. Fascism and the Divine Right of Kings benefit elitist claques, and oligarchies, whilst leaving out the vast majority of a country’s citizens, aside from cosmetic and superfluous economic and social trinkets-including insipid entertainment media. Democracies, which INCLUDE republics, are far messier, but have the potential to benefit all citizens, long-term. Everyone has to GIVE, in the form of taxes, or exercising the vote, or allowing those whom one might not like the same rights as one has. Of course, opposed to both of the aforementioned systems is anarchy, chaos, which adheres to no overt rules, save vengeance, self-aggrandizement and short-term personal satisfaction.

I have seen all three, in this short span of seventy-two years, and can only see the most beneficial trade-offs coming from the patience, perseverance and resolve that come from being an active participant in a democracy-and allowing everyone else the same, including-especially, those whose viewpoints differ from my own.

Yes, everything is a trade-off. This, friends, is why we are given free will, combined with intellect and a moral compass, that we may know what to keep and what to give away.

The Lingering Grind

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Posted by on in children, Community, Education, Historical, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

February 27, 2023- And still they must toil, without consideration for health, education or even safety. They, in this case, are people between the ages of 11-16, minor children under the law, compelled to work by such companies as Kellogg and Hearthside Food Solutions (the purveyors of Nature Valley Granola), Ben and Jerry’s, Ford and General Motors and Fruit of the Loom. They are in such situations because they came across the border, into the U.S., had nothing and fell into the waiting arms of those who regularly take advantage of the dispossessed. These entities have the tacit blessing of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, which cries being overloaded with the cases of undocumented minors. Here is a full report on the matter: https://www.nytimes.com/2023/02/25/us/unaccompanied-migrant-child-workers-exploitation.html?unlocked_article_code=SVuPZ_k5mnCmX9ylJCWxHoVqkzNZRpyijLQA8GF3ZEUxLKxoBLvKy91J_-sXauaSQ3wRSn_0udjRAz0V4cXBuJg-5uXELguP1jgR-Y-Y7dusQh6qBwc1uWvPCNFCYb-v6Bwf7HwKNoeHrNAM8yL0iIBicQxenjWAwEjzZ8lOqLWes-fNe2DJvyRl_tmzyxSgLDbpfxKQCHoRYJpOQG7cfSXFBXc1CLghHZmQbg2q7IZHutwH9qmUvZ5wwsB8jL3T9SnbM7RbChKU6NlzzLWkXFWCb_eOa5HWp_rpsCKWtKJGgGMJEWRaab1a1MTppSRDs3VBzWEzKOxUak9P2R_NRlOMQMNaokWNmwGhD9OaNljVlpiuYw&smid=url-share&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email

Upton Sinclair and Frank Norris, among others, exposed similar outrages in the late 19th and early 20th Centuries. Then, those who were subjected to exploitation were the children of legal immigrants and rural Americans coming into the cities to work. Their plight, and the muckraking journalists, led to President Theodore Roosevelt crusading for, and obtaining, Child Labor Laws. States followed suit, and by the 1950s, systems of work permits and limits on evening hours were in place, with respect to the employment of people under the age of 18. Sixteen-year-olds can work in most non-farm capacities, in most states, for a maximum of 36 hours a week.

The urge to take advantage of youthful, expedient labour, however, has never gone away in some circles. The swell of immigrants, both legal and undocumented, has given those seeking to cut the cost of employment the perfect opportunity to revive sweat shop and near sweat shop conditions-not only in places like Thailand, Bangladesh, and many parts of Africa and South America, but all over the United States-as mentioned above.

The solutions are multi-faceted: Increasing attention to unsavory working conditions and evidence of exploitation of children and youth; discernment on the part of consumers buying everything from auto parts to ice cream to “health foods”; stiffer penalties for national and multinational companies that are found to be actively involved in such exploitation-and ongoing efforts to aid in the generation of economic opportunities in the undocumented immigrants’ countries of origin. Companies can upgrade, and enforce, their own codes of ethics and crack down on the more nefarious among their management.

The lingering grind does not deserve the support of the public.

A Day of Change-ups

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Posted by on in American Legion, Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

February 26, 2023- With 3 inches of snow on the ground, I found it was not a problem to drive to the grocery store and purchase some vegetables and fruit. Then came breakfast at the American Legion Post-a routine on Sunday mornings. Being faithful to my weight reduction program, I saved the pancakes, freezing them for a time when I can nibble at them-along with the cheese and other items that sit in the freezer as well-and will be nibbled at, judiciously, when the time comes.

Normally, a group of us sit at the same table and encourage each other. Today, two of the other five diners showed up-and were already at another table, with other old friends. So, I joined them and the regular table was occupied, in short order, by five gentlemen who had not eaten breakfast there before. When the regulars left, I stayed for a delightful conversation with some other people, who usually sit on the other side of the room.

When I went back to the apartment, and logged onto Zoom, for the devotional which I host, three Sundays each month, I found two of the regular participants also joined-and three who are not usually on the call also logged in. Then, my audio went out, but theirs did not,so they could hear each other-and me, but I was the odd one out. We ended the program prematurely, so that I could go in and find out what Zoom was doing. It turned out that a button had been pushed to mute my audio, when I shared the full contents of my screen. That is something to watch at the next gathering.

The last change-up occurred when I went to the laundromat, and found it locked. What is likely is that the pipes froze, and they just didn’t bother to put up a sign. I will go back on Tuesday and try again.

Changes in routine are good, in that one does not get sclerotic in approaching daily life-as long as the changes do not reflect chaos, which calls for different skill sets.

When Separation Is A Fallacy

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Education, Historical, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

February 24, 2023- The writer and artist responsible for “Dilbert”, a comic strip carried by several newspapers in the country, has announced he is no longer interested in contact with Black people. He says that, in his recent experience, Blacks hate him for being White. Not knowing his specific experiences, I can’t speak as to what he should or should not do. Scott Adams goes further, though, encouraging other White people to likewise shun contact with Blacks, even saying that the news commentator Don Lemon, who himself is Black, has reported problematic experiences, when he lived in predominately African-American neighbourhoods. I can’t speak to Mr. Lemon’s experiences either.

For me, though, I have faced no hatred whatsoever, when visiting predominately African-American “hoods”, or mostly Hispanic barrios, for that matter. The opposite has been true. In one of my first walks in the Southeast area of Washington, D.C., I was a bit hesitant, when walking past a family of three, who were watering and weeding their front lawn. The father was pleasant, and told me not to worry; nobody was going to hurt me. A neighbour girl told her wary little brother, a few minutes later, “He’s a good white man”-while knowing nothing specifically about me.

This experience has repeated itself, many times over, in Black neighbourhoods of Boston, New York, Newburgh (NY), Newark, Philadelphia, Erie, Baltimore, Chicago, Milwaukee, Atlanta, Phoenix, Los Angeles and Las Vegas. People have either been friendly or indifferent, but not hostile. The same has been true in barrios, both in the U.S. and, years ago, in Sonora and Baja California del Norte. These experiences tell me that separation is not the answer. Open mindedness and understanding of different styles of communication, however, are of the essence.

The same holds true for the idea, recently floated in the halls of Congress, and elsewhere, for a “national divorce”-letting regions or groups of states go their ways-even to the point, advanced by a local resident here, of a total dissolution of the nation-with fifty independent countries as the result-so “each state can follow its own destiny”. To this, I say “rubbish”! Any family, community, county, state (or province, for that matter) can attest to the difficulties resulting from differences of opinion, perspective, world view-what have you. The choices are either work through it all and focus on common ground, or give up and walk away.

We have seen five nations split apart, in my lifetime: Pakistan, Yugoslavia, Czechoslovakia, Sudan and the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics. The first four were hybrid states, pieced together by colonial powers (Pakistan and Sudan) or by the participants in the Treaty of Versailles (Yugoslavia and Czechoslovakia). The last one fell apart of its own weight. In none of these cases has the separation been complete and total. The nations arising from Yugoslavia have fought one another and still deal with cross-border tensions. Czechia and Slovakia have managed a more amicable separation and find themselves working together, both being part of the European Union. Pakistan and Bangladesh are both part of the union of South Asian states, their main bone of contention having been their being separated geographically, by India. Sudan and South Sudan are slowly learning the need for economic cooperation, despite their divisions, which are primarily tribal and religious in nature. As for the USSR, central planning and a sclerotic economy still hobble several of its former members-especially Russia. The Commonwealth of Independent States, floated by Boris Yeltsin, was a good idea on the surface, but because it mainly sought to maintain Russia’s dominance, it exists today only in name.

I have gone on too long, but the point is, we are a global family-and not talking, or talking trash, with each other, is going to “make the whole world blind”-as Gandhi said, referring to adherence to the Old Testament, back before World War II. There are people who see a better path, such as activists on both ends of the political spectrum, from South Central Los Angeles and rural West Virginia, who have chosen to work together for the common good. One group’s strength is collective effort. The other’s is individual initiative. There are uses for both.

There is, however, no use for throwing up hands and walking out on the very people who need a person’s individual strength and a group’s unified power. There is no strength in division.

Instead Of…….

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Hiking and Nature, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

February 22, 2023, Patagonia, AZ- No matter what one does in this life, there will always be someone who thinks something else should have been done, instead.

I’ve heard suggestions, albeit gentle, that:

Instead of being in southern Arizona right now, I should be back in Prescott, preparing to set up a storm shelter.

Instead of setting up a storm shelter, I should be helping out in understaffed schools.

Instead of doing my “own thing”, I should be checking with those who could really use my assistance, back at Home Base.

I’m not being singled out, by any means. The President, no matter who he (and someday, she) is has more suggestions as to how to do the job, than just about anyone on the planet. Witness how the zero sum crowd equates the current president’s visit to Kiyyiv with unconcern for East Liverpool, or for the Mexican border. Anyone else in a leadership role has similar experiences.

There is another type of “Instead of”. That is when a planned activity is a victim to changing circumstances, and being graceful calls for other activities to take its place.

Thus, on this journey, the ferocious winds and rain that came here, this morning, nixed a hike to the border, in Coronado National Monument. Instead, I came upon San Pedro House, about eight miles north of Sierra Vista, where I spent last night. A delightful, if less taxing, hike in a loop from the small house to the San Pedro River and back, about 1.5 miles, replaced the planned activity. The winds were not as fierce as they were further south and I got to pay homage to one of the last free-flowing rivers in the Southwest.

Here are a few scenes from the privately conserved area.

San Pedro House, Cochise County
San Pedro River, between Sierra Vista and Bisbee.
Willow and Cottonwood, San Pedro Interpretive Trail
San Pedro River, assuming a channel-like flow.
Green Kingfisher Pond, fed by the San Pedro.
Wind-whipped grass, San Pedro Interpretive Trail.
Wooden water bin, near San Pedro House.
Children once played in this cabin, under the live oak.
Secured utility pole, leaning from the high winds, Old Town Bisbee.

After leaving San Pedro House, I headed to Bisbee, hoping to take lunch at High Desert Market and Cafe. It was closed today, so instead I found Le Cornucopia Cafe, just across the street from this temporarily concerning scene, of a tottering utility pole which, as one onlooker put it, could have set all Old Bisbee on fire, had it toppled and set the wires to sparking. The situation was handled swiftly and well. As for Le Cornucopia, their curried lentil soup filled the simple lunch bill very nicely.

Finally, as the wind was still pretty intense and a mix of rain and snow was falling, as evening approached, I came into this old mining town, in northern Santa Cruz County-an area of Arizona that I had not visited previously. Sonoita and Patagonia are picturesque, with the latter having a charming “Old West” hotel. So, here I am at Stage Stop Inn, for the night.

Stage Stop Inn, Patagonia

It always pays to follow the heart. The Universe has yet to steer me wrong.