The Road to Diamond, Day 280: The Lone Deer

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September 4, 2025- The juvenile doe gingerly approached the front yard of the home on Copper Basin Road, the penultimate southernmost road that is headed east to west, in Prescott. It was not unusual to see a deer, or even a predator, along this road. Deer are very social animals though, so seeing a loner was out of the ordinary. I wondered if she were orphaned, or just cut off from her herd. Maybe they were already in the back yard. Even the most social of animals can have stragglers. I can pretty much surmise, though, that the doe was not alone by conscious choice.

We humans are almost unique, in that we can isolate ourselves by placing excessive demands on our families, friends and associates. I have known people, a few of whom are still on the periphery of my social circle, who follow up a contingent demand with yet another. Most, if not all, of their relationships are conditional upon their being treated with deference-and usually at the expense of someone else-of whom they are jealous, or by whom they feel threatened.

I’ve said it before, though, and still maintain, that life is not a zero sum game. There has been, and remains, enough of me to share with several people about whom I care. So far, holding that stance has caused the more skittish ones to stop and thank me for what has been done on their behalf, at least for a few days. In my earlier years, I often kept to myself, only going to join other neighbourhood kids when they came by the house. So, I know a little of what the loners are feeling.

In middle childhood and in adolescence, being with others became more important, so I went to school dances, joined in games and sports, even if I was terrible at them and hung out with others at friends’ houses or went to their families’ camps. This probably kept me alive and reinforced the social skills that my parents bent over backwards, trying to instill earlier.

It also gave me the sense that, after losing my wife of 29 years, staying active in the community-first in Phoenix and then in Prescott- was what was going to guide me back to health and well-being. Community service then indirectly led me to do Terra supplements and a more healthy diet. It ended my status as lone deer- and brought first a wider social circle here in Prescott, then across Arizona and more widely-nationally and internationally.

I thought of these things even further, after offering similar advice to someone in another state, who recently retired and is looking for ways to build a new life. I hope this person will follow a path of self-discovery and self-realization. Each of us has gifts that are far beyond our understanding. Service and fellowship can bring those out.

The Road to Diamond, Day 278: Tying Loose Strands

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September 2, 2025- Coming up to a ledge, on the trail between White Spar Mountain and Goldwater Lake, Hiking Buddy and I spotted nineteen American flags-the sign of a memorial to the 19 Wildland Firefighters, who died in 2013, at Yarnell Hill.

Other forms of death showed themselves nearby.

Beyond, though, are the many signs of life, for which these sacrifices have been made.

We made this short hike, as part of a run-up to my own seven-week absence from Home Base I, and from Arizona. I have had a good summer here, and now it is time to tie up loose ends. Connecting HB with an aficionado of her type of product was another result of today’s efforts. Finally getting through to a critic of local organic farming, earlier this morning, was another.

The rest of the week will see me on a worldwide prayer call, then up at Hopi for a brief visit with new arrivals in the Health Provider community and a Red Cross meeting here, on Thursday. Friday, I will continue my dry run of packing, as the weekend is full of special events, on which more, in a few days.

I have also carefully spoke my peace about other issues, and so far had little push back. Towards that end, I will not elaborate on my thoughts in this forum. We are all entitled to our own opinions, though not to our own facts.

No matter where I go, the sacrifices of those brave men commemorated above, and of others like them, will still figure large in my consciousness. They tied the loose strands of community, by giving their very lives.

The Road to Diamond, Day 274: Redemptions and Deferments

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August 29, 2025- The two-year-old boy spotted me from his place on his grandmother’s chaise lounge and told Nana to look up. His smile could light up Grand Central Station and his enthusiasm could carry a rocket to the Moon and back. His younger and quieter sister gave a slight smile and a nod, but she is more Nana’s girl. I was at the house to tend to a small business matter, which will help two parties, while I am away.

The day was largely spent in bringing some unfinished business to fruition. Sportage has a new oil pan, so no more drips. The trade-off is that there is a countdown to the next regular oil and lube. The Beast will be spending 7 weeks in carport, though, under the watchful eyes of my neighbours, so there is no great rush to get that done.

Then, there was the above-mentioned visit, concerned with relieving another family’s food insecurity. “Nana” is a local small farmer, so she can help with that. Lastly, there is a friend elsewhere who needs assistance in getting through a medical procedure, so that needs periodic contribution. Mostly, though, I am tending to my own needs, so as not to become “a destitute hero”, who would be no hero at all.

The upcoming journey involves reaching destinations and fulfilling promises that are anywhere from seven to fifteen years old. In meditation, the answer came back to focus on these, and there would be time down the road to fulfill more recent pledges. In the interim, I have commitments to my little family and to someone else I love most dearly. Those will take precedence over anything else.

Clear as mud? Things will be explained, as they happen. For now, it is a matter of redeeming old promises and deferring those of more recent vintage.

The Road to Diamond, Day 267: Needful Things

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August 22, 2025- The girls were forthright in asking for help on their writing assignment, asking me to help, instead of one of the regular staff. They were crestfallen, when I told them I had to take care of other business on Monday-but that they would not be left alone. I trust that a caring soul will be on hand, and tend to their needs. I was able to meet those needs today, so it was a good day.

A friend shared memories of childhood; of witnessing lynchings-the sort described by Billie Holliday, in her song, “Strange Fruit”. This is something that no child should ever have to witness. Another friend shared the news that a young man had taken his own life, shattering her immediate community. This is something that no youth should ever need to contemplate. In my own work, keeping children safe from both external and internal trauma was a major focus of time and energy. It had to be done with regularity, and without judgment as to what the urgency level may have been.

I was not able to prevent all suicide. No one can know for certain what the turmoil is. inside another soul. The first friend has never spoken of what was seen, until now. The young man did not share his pain, even with his closest friends.

I am fortunate, in life here in Prescott and in the various places I have been honoured to visit, over the past fifteen years. Rarely has there been a closed door, and then only because of my own shortcomings or faux pas. With that good fortune has come a fair amount of responsibility. So, I don’t think of time spent anywhere as “vacation”, even though to those whose life commitment is to stay put and focus on one community or one neighbourhood, any time spent not working-or not spent “blooming where planted” is a lark.

So be it. I will wake each day, no matter where I find myself and make the same commitment to the well-being of those around me, as I did in schools and communities, across Arizona and in South Korea, for 46 years. Some of that will be in schools; other will be on the road or in communities where I might be expected to relax. It will be what appears to be needed.

The Road to Diamond, Day 256: Forward Motion

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August 11, 2025- After 46 years in education, I am still somewhat thrown off by questions about very technical issues. Nitpicky matters have just never really interested me, so my tendency has been to give them short shrift. There are times, though, when it’s necessary to get out the notebook and take careful stock of the particulars of things. Today was such a day.

Last night, I went through an online class on Red Cross pedagogy, of all things. Even though it’s better to look at anything academic in the light of day, I pursued it anyway. When it came time for assessment, the technical issues had not registered, and I decided to re-take the class-in the light of day.

So today, after Coffee Klatsch and some checking on the status of fires on the White Mountain Apache Nation, I went through the pedagogy class again, being more careful to take notes on the Course Manual segment. What is covered, and where, became more clear and I cleared the assessment with ease.

Since childhood, I have been hard-wired to primarily go forward, with goals and tasks. Letting self get stymied by technical issues or physical challenges has been an issue at times, but mostly it’s been “Forward, ho!” What is different now is that I am more inclined to plan things out more carefully; chalk that up to Hard Knocks University-and the grace of God. Ten or fifteen years ago, I might have put the re-take off for six months to a year-and it probably would have ended up on the Island of Lost Goals.

Now, I am getting satisfaction from each challenge met, no matter how great or small. Forward motion, more tempered by careful planning, remains among my greatest impetus.

The Road to Diamond, Day 252: Unrequested

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August 7, 2025- In a well-appointed room, at a resort along a prosperous coast, a young man stretches and prepares to enjoy a summer’s day, on his break from University. He didn’t ask for good fortune, but it follows him. Perhaps he will someday go through equally unrequested heartbreak and suffering, but for now, all is well.

In a rock-strewn, hollowed out gulch, along a desolate, impoverished coast, a young girl tends to her two younger siblings, feeding them biscuits and a few leaves of spinach. They didn’t ask for this ill fortune, but it follows them. Perhaps they will someday see prosperity, as a now elusive peace settles on their homeland, but for now, survival is all that lies in front of them.

In a small Midwestern town, a father shops around for enough food to bring to his wife and four children. He stretches his dollars, as his father did before him, and Grandpa before that. None have asked for ongoing ups and downs of the local economy, but it has long settled among them. Perhaps someday there will be a return to locally grown food as a standard, rather than as a set of anomalies, but for now, he and they push forward, day to day.

On the roof of an apartment, in a hardscrabble Caribbean neighbourhood, three young men sit and discuss how they might respond to news of a wealthy man taking charge of their country. They didn’t choose him, and though he offers hope of stability, they have heard it all before-as have their parents and grandparents, going back eight generations. Perhaps someday, there will be a true and honest consultation among the people, but for now, the young men will follow whoever seems to have the power on the streets of their city.

I think of these people, and others, as I sit in an apartment which I chose, in the city where I gladly chose to live, eating food that I prepared myself, from ingredients also freely chosen. It hasn’t always been a life of choice, at least outwardly. Yet, the changes that have taken place in my life have been influenced by my preferences-even when those choices are small, limited and not the most optimal.

I hope and pray, for each person finding self in harrowing conditions, or in debilitatingly privileged states, to ponder the options that may be available-and take the ones that will bring beneficence, even if it starts out as a few more morsels, or a bit more conscientious self-restraint.

The Road to Diamond, Day 245: Uncommon Emotions

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July 31, 2025- Every so often, in places I’ve lived or in jobs I’ve held, there was a feeling of being fully occupied and my presence was justified, but there was no real connection. This is an actual emotion, called Mal de Coucou. It was most common for me in the early ’70s, when many groups engaged in performative camaraderie- and in the marketing “clubs” of the 2000s, where people engaged in similar pretense of teamwork.

Paro, the sense that I am not getting anything right, has hit more times than I can count. The inner nagging stopped, when I came to the realization that more good things were happening on my watch than their opposites.

Jouska, the playing out of imaginary conversations, was a bugbear of my autism, in adolescence and even into young adulthood. The key to getting past this was making actual connections, making Jouska an outflow of Mal de Coucou.

Ecstatic shock is a sudden jolt coming from even so much as a brief glance, from someone you have not seen before. For me, this has happened a half dozen or so times, exclusively from women. One was with me for 29 years afterward. One still connects with me by Instant Messaging, once a week or so, until I can see her again.

There are ten other emotions with names not commonly used in American culture. They may be seen below. All make perfect sense, in their context. How many have you felt?

The Road to Diamond, Day 240: Retro Vibes

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July 26,2025- There was a consensus among the staff at Farmers Market, this afternoon-The energy today was quite strange. Those who are astrologically inclined put the blame on the retrograde of Planet Mercury. A planetary retrograde is the seeming movement of the orb away from the other planets in the solar system. It is said to bring those influenced by it, back over old ground or unresolved past issues.

I can only say there were a few moments today, when I was feeling a bit of tension-mainly within my own space. At those points, I just stood still and told self to get a grip. It was not going to be a day of being irritated with people, who were just going about their day-even if it seemed that too many were in the same space at once. It worked, and taking my time with several small tasks, one at a time, helped me keep the peace.

Towards the end of my work at the Market, a disabled veteran came along and offered to help. I was absolutely glad to have his assistance and it seemed to make his day. Too many people are made to feel like they don’t matter. I won’t be one of those who stokes that sad fire. My father taught us that everyone has a place in the world, and no one ought to be made to feel worthless. I hope I have made that clear to those who have crossed my path, over the years.

This evening was spent enjoying the music of The Dust Ups, a classic country and surfer music band, out of Tempe. They brought back memories of songs by Dick Dale, the Surfaris, Bob Wills and Don Gibson. Willie Nelson, Johnny Cash and Mexico’s Consuelo Vazquez were represented. (The trio is not to be confused with the four man New Jersey band, The Dust-ups, who also offer country fare). I liked their arrangements and end the day glad that there were no dust ups here, even with the strange energy earlier.

The Road to Diamond, Day 215: Everything, and Nothing

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July 1, 2025– Happy Canada Day, everyone!

Today has also seen a burst of activity, on the two major fronts of my summer. Two wildfires have been top of mind for me, these past few days. A major blaze has been consuming the pinon forest between Window Rock and Ganado, on the Navajo Nation. The Dineh have been able to manage shelters, staffing-wise, and will have Red Cross logistical help, by tomorrow noon. They have plenty of government and private enterprise help, in fighting the blaze. Some friends are among those displaced, and I hold out hope that their homes will survive.

Another blaze, closer to Home Base, also led to us gathering a standby crew, but it has since been largely contained and the crew dismantled. There are all manner of small blazes, underscoring the poignancy of the Twelfth Anniversary of the Yarnell Hill Fire, which led to the deaths of 19 wildland firefighters. Over the weekend, in northern Idaho, a transient was asked to move his vehicle by wildland firefighters. He responded by shooting at them, killing two commanders and wounding an engineer. He later killed himself.

That last incident highlights a fringe element, those who believe that their priorities and their privileges supersede everyone else. We used to call them sociopaths. Now, many of them see themselves as ascendant-even to the point that there is an active movement called Accelerationists, who want to replace elected government with all-powerful Boards of Directors, headed by Chief Executive Officers, who can run roughshod over everyone else, in the name of “efficiency”. This is a huge step away from the workings of the customary publicly-owned corporation, which has a charter, a mission statement and a code of conduct. It, to me, is a system built for sociopaths. (Indeed, Elon Musk recently made a statement that empathy is a weakness of Western countries.) There is little difference between such people and the Idaho shooter.

That brings me to the second overarching concern of the summer: Baha’i gatherings. On Sunday, about forty youth and adults gathered for a lively session of songs and devotions. There was no egotism and no one-upmanship. Yesterday, some of the same youth spent the day visiting adults in their homes, sharing prayers and inspirational stories. Over the next two weeks, various gatherings will be held in the Phoenix area and at Bellemont Baha’i School, for further activities along those lines. These inspirational and collaborative activities are in direct contrast to the self-absorbed depredations described in the last paragraph.

I draw reassurance, also, from conversations with friends here, conservatives and liberals alike, who may not agree on much, policy-wise, but who will stand together against any forces that try to deprive us of the freedom and traditions that we have cherished for 250 years.

He would take away everything is likely to be left with nothing.

The Road to Diamond, Day 214: Proactive

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June 30,2025- A year ago, I was sitting aside the woman who gave me life, as she took her last breath. The moment was a bookend. She had worked very hard to make sure that I survived a rough birth, and that I overcame many obstacles, some self-imposed, in order to at least enjoy a long and fairly well-lived life. Her overriding instructions were “Don’t take yourself too seriously” and “Stay ahead of the game”. Mom’s approval mattered far more than either of us sometimes realized, and the struggles I had with self and others, over the year, largely were brought to a close when I reverted to what she had tried to instill, so often and so selflessly, over the decades.

I can never think of a time when her rejoinder “Poor baby” was callous or misplaced. A child of the Depression, who lost her father to cancer in its midst, and saw her four oldest brothers off to war, in the 1940s, and her younger brother as well, in the Korean conflict, was nonetheless shaken when I headed off to VietNam, for what was a mercifully non-troubling ten months of rear echelon duty. She was a paragon of persistence.

In a generally love-filled marriage, that lasted 37 years, she would often find herself facing her fears about her youngest son, alone. It took some constant communication to get her loved ones to understand just how much she wanted for the little boy, who became a disabled man. We each grew into compassionate adults, who would ourselves fight for the well-being of the least among us-and who would give anything for our children and, in my siblings’ cases, grandchildren. I know the latter now, anticipating a grandchild’s birth with a heart that is bursting with love.

Mom is now with so many of the souls she loved, and is looking out for the rest of us. I can count several times, in the past year, when there has been that one extra push to get me over the threshold. It has made some rather tall orders shrink down to hurdle level.

I only hope I have continued to make her proud. God knows, a reciprocal pride has welled in me, for as long as I can remember.