Category Archives: Inner Struggles

The Road to Diamond, Day 18: The Crick

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 16, 2024- With two quick movements, Dr. Robert soothed a crick in my neck, that had bothered me for nearly a month. I had kept it from being too bothersome, by applying Deep Blue oil blend. Chiropractic, though, is what tended the stiffness and restored my range of motion.

This evening, I pondered one of my mental cricks. I got a query from Penny, asking if I thought that I felt stuck with her, in the next life. My response, looking at her picture, was “Absolutely not. I love you and always will.” I then got a message that this beloved spirit was happy.

My mental crick came from the notion that two souls, and only two souls, can be together for eternity. However, nowhere in the Baha’i Writings does it say that, specifically. It does say that two souls bonded together in this life will be together in all the worlds of God. This does not preclude bonding with other souls, in the event one outlives the other. A letter written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi explains that:

“There is no teaching in the Bahá’í Faith that ‘soul mates’ exist. What is meant is that marriage should lead to a profound friendship of spirit, which will endure in the next world, where there is no sex, and no giving and taking in marriage; just the way we should establish with our parents, our children, our brothers and sisters and friends a deep spiritual bond which will be everlasting, and not merely physical bonds of human relationship.

“There is nothing against a person remarrying, the implication of unity in marriage being meant as a spiritual bond which will be everlasting, and not a sexual thing, in the quotation you cited.” – Written to an individual believer, in December, 1954.

The bond between Penny and me is an eternal, spiritual one. The bond between me and any other person can also be an eternal, spiritual one. I feel relieved by this meditation.

So often, we look at such matters solely from the standpoint of the temporary, physical reality. Those with whom I feel the strongest bond, however, are so much closer to me in a spiritual sense. I see that is true of every other pair of people who are truly united.

Two cricks are thus relieved, this evening.

The Road to Diamond, Day 14: Home-bound

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Entertainment, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 12, 2024- Last night was no fun. I got up, twice in the night and knelt by the open toilet. I felt a bit better, after the second time, but nowhere near well enough to go to my scheduled work assignment. The school administrators had no problem with my staying home. I felt a bit better, still, when it approached time for me to get a chiropractic adjustment. Still, the protocol for stomach flu is no contact with regular appointments, for twenty-four hours, so I rescheduled that as well.

I probably got more sleep today than I have in twenty-five years, thus accounting for the fairly quick rebound from this morning. I kept dreaming that I was going through a couple of folders that my friend, Kathy, gave me to read. There are no such folders here, so maybe they are at her house and I will be asked to read them later.

Other than that, my waking time allowed for catching up on reading, and on a bit of binge-watching shows like “Lioness” and season 5 of “The Expanse”. “The Chosen” is also going to be in the queue, but as the weekend approaches, there are three days of intense activity-so long as I make an overall recovery. The computer screen is no match for Acker Night, a Red Cross Christmas Party and a major Baha’i gathering.

The Road to Diamond, Day 13: Getting Past “Go”

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 11, 2024- Some days, it is just hard to get out of bed. Negative energy can take hold, and simple tasks can seem like they are just in the way. On days like this, though, sleeping in is not an option.

I had my every-four-months dental checkup, which meant a drive to Phoenix. So, up it was, at 6:30 and out the door by 8. Negative energy presented itself, as I went to pay for my breakfast sandwich and coffee, at an automated register that alternately wouldn’t scan my items, then scanned the coffee twice. After human intelligence solved that problem and I got cash back, for the duplicate coffee, everything else fell into place, until I got to the on-ramp for AZ 101. After a five-minute crawl (this was after rush hour, mind you), the rest was easy and I got into the dentist’s office with five minutes to spare.

The exam itself was positive and I was again congratulated for keeping on top of oral hygiene. I had once again pushed past “Go” and collected $200.

Considering all that this life has brought, both good and not-so-good, I have been lucky to have had as many “Collect $200” days as I have. The cost is developing self-discipline, and while it came late to me, the benefits have piled up nicely. Getting out of bed in the morning, and in a timely manner, has paid the bills, taken me on some fabulous adventures and brought fascinating people into this life. Staying put, under the covers, would only guarantee aloneness, a fantasy life and ennui.

I will stick with getting past “Go”.

The Road to Diamond, Day 12: Like-Minded

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 10, 2024- The repast was astonishing, bringing back memories of banquets in Taiwan, and of the full East Asian buffets that gave us comfort, in the hard times of the 2000s. The seven of us who gathered this afternoon are, to varying degrees, of progressive mind. There are, therefore, differing feelings among us, as to what awaits in the next four years. I see much good in the ethics of inclusion and sharing that my dining companions espouse. The rub, though, is in the shallowness of their politics.

It is my firm conviction that there is common ground among all people, and that it is worth the effort to bring that common ground to the fore. It is a mistake to give up and retreat, in the belief that there is an “other side”, with which it is impossible to reason. It is a mistake to assume that there is nothing to talk about, with that “other side”. I only see a continuum, with no barriers save the ones we choose to erect, either out of fear or exasperation. Those who are afraid, need backup and reassurance. Those who are exasperated should rest and gather their thoughts and feelings.

I thought of this again tonight, as we Baha’is gathered for a Spiritual Feast. We are all of differing backgrounds, mindsets and places on the political spectrum, yet there can be no animosity, where there is true unity of commitment to the Oneness of Mankind. It’s hard work, and it may take our species a thousand years to accomplish. The legwork, though, is going on now, and cannot be kicked down the road.

Like-minded people are always gathering, and will eventually bring in other like-minded people. No one needs to be left out.

The Road to Diamond, Day 4: Voyages

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 2, 2024, Grapevine- My planned walk to Grapevine Mills became a ride. Aram needed to get out of the house, after a day of working on his job hunt research, and, driving around, looking for a charging port for EV, came up short. So, we drove over, and walked the mall. In a chain shop called Books-A-Million, I came upon Ta-Nehisi Coates’ “Between The World and Me”, said title taken from a line in Richard Wright’s eponymous verse.

Wright’s protagonist fairly screams from the page, would scream, if he were to borrow a stentorian voice in a poetry slam. Coates himself does not scream, but speaks tersely, sternly towards his readers, yet simultaneously with urgency towards his son-the recipient of this long, elegant and painful letter.

As my son moves forward with his life, I don’t so much worry about what society, or the police, might do to him as what he may or may not do on his own. So far, so good. Therein lies the difference between our situation and that faced by too many who are in marginalized situations.

There is a chasm in society, lesser and lesser between people of different racial and ethnic groups as between people of different economic classes. There are those, both Black and White, both Right and Left, who see this class differential as the more enduring problem-and a few who see that the wirepullers of the whole Class Divide are the ones who will set up Race Card situations, clashes between people of colour and people of pallour- usually involving police officers, at some point.

Where am I going with this? What is the voyage of the mind, on which I have embarked? I am looking at justice-the justice that Ta-Nehisi Coates fears may one day escape his son, and others his age. I am looking at justice, deferred, in the matter of the son of a sitting President, supposedly out of fear that the Attorney-General for the next President may impose a draconian sentence on that son. I am looking at justice denied, with regard to that next President, and maybe those who acted, in their minds, on his behalf, four years ago next month. I am looking at justice, whose light is now hiding under a bushel. My mind still searches for it. Justice, says Baha’u’llah, is the best-beloved of all things, in the sight of God.

We will just have to stay vigilant, and see how things turn. In the meantime, my physical voyage, tomorrow, will take me back to Home Base I. The one I love most will be on a voyage of her own, to a gathering of some import. Each of us goes forth, keeping our adult children in our hearts. Each of us will keep an eye on justice. Each of us is on a voyage, to a destiny that may well bring us to a common point.

Storage

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Posted by on in collaborating, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 25, 2024- One way or another, sometime next year, much of what I own and choose not to give away or sell, will be placed in storage. My game plan for 2025 will be discussed with my little family, over the next eight days. There are three options, but time in my current residence is getting short. More on what will transpire, as we go along.

Things can be placed in storage; feelings cannot. Many people stuff their emotions, either because they are internally uncomfortable or because they are unacceptable to those closest to them. I used to try and stuff my feelings. They came out anyway, in highly counterproductive ways, ranging from physical uncoordination to social awkwardness. There was, in retrospect, no real reason for this, except my misconception that being myself was an imposition on my family and would not be accepted by my peers.

This conviction was somewhat, but not completely, erased by marriage, career and parenthood. The emotions that remained “in storage” were rooted out later, when I was responsible for Penny’s care and for getting myself together, after her passing. There were those who understood and encouraged my growth, and there were those who would not cut me any slack. Fortunately, both contributed to the release and dismissal of those demons.

Storage has its place-and that is for temporary safeguarding of material possessions, like keepsakes and books that are not immediately needed. Feelings, though, should not be subject to “safekeeping”-at least not long term.

Pre-Approved

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 22, 2024- An earnest woman offered advice to her long-time friend, regarding how to handle a nettlesome and persistent critic. He left the conversation, quietly, and headed home. A short time later, he called her and announced he was cutting ties with her, saying she was being unfair to the other person. Her own cage rattled, the lady called another friend, who told her to not pay heed to the man. “You are not worthless; you are pre-approved”.

We all know about “pre-approved”-the ploy by certain credit bureaus and financial institutions to get us to pursue lines of credit and personal loans, at what look like generous terms. Most often, a closer will come in, hem and haw and bring the deal to a good, old-fashioned shut down.

We humans are, however, pre-approved by the Creator, in the truest sense of the term. We each come with strengths, offerings, challenges to meet. Many of these are shared with others, but always in a way unique to the bearer. Each of us can make a special mark, or collaborate with those around us to create a tower of strength.

None of this depends on the approval of those on the outside of the process. Monday Morning quarterbacks can be useful in suggesting ways to correct errors in a given process, but they are not entitled to dismantle the effort, nor are they in a position to drag those who are in the vanguard of the action through the mud.

Post-mortems are best carried out by those who have given their all. Their skills, their energy, their willpower is pre-approved.

Integrity

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 21, 2024- It didn’t surprise me, when United States Attorney General nominee, Matt Gaetz, withdrew his name from consideration, citing the legal maelstrom surrounding his public and private behaviour. The man at least showed enough integrity to not want the country to be saddled with focusing on the allegations against him, at a time of transition. For that, he deserves our collective thanks.

No one, male or female, deserves anything but opprobrium for proven actions against minor children or any other vulnerable people. Whatever Gaetz might face as a private citizen remains to be seen. This, however, goes beyond ideology or one’s place on the political spectrum. For that matter, it transcends “race”, “nationality”, “creed” or “sexual orientation”. I remember when various Presidential aides and at least one Congressman were caught up in investigation of ethics violations. There were a business-oriented Republican, an Old South Democrat and an African-American liberal Democrat. My father had harsh words to say about each one.

Integrity is an equal opportunity quality, as are all virtues. Everyone can summon it, when it serves their purpose. The trick is to have that purpose meld with doing right by the people, and by the nation. Matt Gaetz did so, today. Let’s see it become standard behaviour, from our public servants-across the board.

“How’s That for Love?”

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 19, 2024- So says Kate, the adolescent daughter of a pediatric surgeon and an intelligence operative, to her mother, after hugging her father, after he’d been attacked by the father of one of his patients. This began the second episode of “Lioness”.

Love doesn’t always come easily and even the deepest is not always requited. We humans always need to have free will, before any kind of attachment or commitment can be made. I am no different, in that regard. There are those whom I have placed in the categories of friend, or extended sibling, who once wished that I would offer a different, more intimate role in my life.

Then, there are situations where mutual love exists, but the life experiences of one or both parties serve as blocks to the free expression of that love. A fear of commitment may follow the sudden death of a spouse, after which there was no time for grieving, for processing, for closure. Compound that by the incomplete grieving of one’s children, and the wariness is multiplied.

The real deal, in this set of circumstances, places the needs of the loved one, and the loved one’s family, front and center. Nothing changes, in the lover’s self-concept. Alternative plans are prepared, just in case, but the communication does not stop. Life goes on, in every other avenue of endeavour, while every effort continues to help the beloved achieve dreams and goals. There is wide latitude given, in the hope that the grieving over the prior loss can resume, and become complete. There is a standing offer of emotional and spiritual support.

How’s that for love?

Pounded

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 16, 2024- No doubt, the wind and water were practically freezing people in their tracks, as the monster called Man-yi, the sixth (or seventh) of its kind to hit the Philippines, in little over a month, wrought floodwaters, mud and collapsing buildings, from Samar, in the central region known as Visayas to Aurora, in northeast Luzon. People who I helped, after the earlier Typhoon Kristine, will not be able to tell me if that aid survived Man-yi (“Pepito”), for several days. They appear to be safe, in either government shelters or with family, elsewhere. Those in Metro Manila, including K, have full plates, I’m sure, keeping track of those close to them who live in Bicol, Catanduanes and Samar. Metro itself does not appear to have suffered.

Here at Home Base, the talk is more about who will serve in what position. What will they do, to cut the national debt? Whose jobs will they cut? Will there be attention paid to what the new “masters” regard as frivolous programs? Will they have frivolous programs of their own? In any adjustment of budgets and spending that involves large numbers of people, there needs to be attention paid to the households, and communities, that will be disrupted if there are mass layoffs and job cuts. This process can not be a frivolity in its own right. It can’t be managed by AI, by people acting like AI or by someone several degrees of separation from those impacted on the ground. (That last has been a sore point with those who, ironically, identify with the populist movement which seems to have prevailed, worldwide.) It stands to reason that meaningful work needs to be generated, at local and state levels, or in the private sector, before the proverbial swamp gets drained.

Nature, in this time of global change, can be brutal and unforgiving. It has consequences, both anticipated and unknown. Government, in this time of rearrangement and a degree of revanchism, does not have to be blinkered, in its pursuit of economy and justice for the small tax payer. Planning ahead and layering of cutbacks can prevent wholesale collapse of local economies from immediate mass cuts in government spending. It is not impossible for jobs to transferred to the private sector or to lower tiers of government, if enough advance planning is exercised.

We don’t need to leave one another feeling pounded. Nature does that well enough, on its own.