No Infantilization

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February 21, 2026- Hana was squalling about a break in the feeding action, until I came downstairs and reminded her, in a calm voice, that being burped was part of the feeding process. She stopped squalling, let herself be burped and went back to feeding.

I know all the warnings given to grandparents about not spoiling their little darlings. As loving as I am to her, though, I will never jive the little girl. Those cautions and that guidance which her parents have in place have my backing as well. I want her to succeed and to enjoy the best that life has to offer. Those things don’t come to someone who throws a fit, and that realization comes with the first sets of delays and procedures that an infant experiences.

I will not infantilize my granddaughter. Her feelings, and her language, when it comes, will be honoured with respect. I will hold her and comfort her as often as she needs; I will not, however, enable her intemperance. Calmly, but firmly, we are checking all reasons for any distress she is exhibiting, and she is most appreciative once the hunger, the gas pains or soiled diaper have been addressed. She already knows, after only two months, that she is being taken seriously by all three of her adults.

I learned a lot from the parents at Dharma Farm, in Paulden, AZ, about not babying infants. That does not mean skimping on nurturing. It means teaching patience, consideration and gentleness, from the time a child can recognize faces and voices. It will also mean being considerate of others, from the time Hana can walk and speak.

I look at the larger situation around our country today and see that there are far too many, even in positions of power, who have been infantilized and pampered, and who have learned to fulminate at critics; manipulating people and situations to their advantage, Whether this has come from a lack of spirituality or from overemphasis on the material side of life, it has laid low any society where people have become numbed to the machinations of the overindulged few.

While I shudder at some of the behaviour of people both in positions of authority and in positions of civic responsibility, I see where it started, and will do my small part to make sure a little girl coming up in the world doesn’t follow poor examples.

Cyclical

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February 20, 2026- I heard a few days ago, and read this morning, that with Saturn and Neptune converging astrologically at O degrees Aries, a 6000 year cycle has come to an end and that a new one has begun. Savvier people than I, with regard to astrology, will have a clearer understanding of what that means,in that particular sense.

I do know, though, that there is, and has been, a unifying energy around the planet, released in 1844 by al-Bab and energized even more in 1863, by Baha’ullah. Like most such processes, it has been slow to unfold, even with two world wars, several civil wars in various nations (including the United States), a global economic depression, a global pandemic and various countries choosing to live-for a time-under authoritarian rule. The unity of the human race, however, is sure to be one of the processes that arise out of this new cycle. It cannot be imposed on us. We must choose it for ourselves. Truthfully, though, I don’t see that we have many other options.

It was said, two days ago, that many shopworn institutions will continue to collapse and fade away, with new institutions, more fitting for this day and age, rising up to take their place. We certainly are seeing that-and I am not talking about models of Artificial Intelligence whose main feature is the exacerbation of human greed. I am talking more about grassroots efforts at improving the quality of life-from language preservation activities, to experiments in backyard farming, to co-operative small groups of parents raising children across familial lines,to alliances of countries that are not being organized by one or more “major powers” .

I want to mention that in my own life, another sea change has taken place. Just as in 1981-82, I became a Baha’i. left the Roman Catholic faith, relinquished alcohol dependency and entered into wedlock; as in 1986-92, we left the United States and learned to live in the beautiful land and culture of South Korea, becoming parents to a beautiful little boy; as in 2011, I laid my beloved wife to rest, let go of a house and community in Phoenix and moved to Prescott, traveling widely and also devoting many hours to community service, so now has the call of grandparenthood been answered and a new community become my Home Base.

One cycle ends, indeed, and another begins.

Re-Adjusted

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February 19, 2026- It’s been two months, so today I made contact with a chiropractor in our area, who can continue the work done by Dr. Robert Boehland, at Cornerstone Chiropractic, in Prescott. This gentleman, Dr. Jason Venn, has been in practice for about fifteen years, in the city of Frisco, eight miles northwest of us, and about halfway between the cities of McKinney and Lewisville. It’s a straight shot for me, up Legacy Boulevard. Although it’s farther from the house than Cornerstone was from my place in Prescott, it is worth the drive. Dr. Venn is a knowledgeable advocate for natural medicine and adheres to the same regimen that did me so much good in Prescott. Of course, I am back to a couple of once-a-week sessions, so he may get to know my spinal column and clear up the detritus of my recent moving activities. In the long run, I will be back to where I was in early December.

I spoke softly, but firmly, to Hana, this morning, about slowing down her drinking from her bottles of mother’s milk or formula. She seemed to understand, and has re-adjusted her pace of intake. This will help her digestion and lead to less intestinal gas-always a problem for newborns. Whoever feeds her also takes care of burping her afterward, but I want to encourage her to think about her feeding habits on a very simple level. I am happy to say, it has worked so far. She is also sleeping more soundly at night, for an hour or so longer, each night, for the past three nights.

We are moving more into Spring, which seems to be coming a month early this year-unless, as a Canadian friend mentioned, with regard to her own area, this is the “first false Spring”. The two-week forecast calls for more of the same, with a day or two of rain thrown into the mix, here and there. Of course, we have no word on St. Patrick’s Day yet, and that is very often a day for late winter nasties.

Life is ever full of re-adjustments.

Better Windows on the World

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February 16,2026- The work crew arrived before son and I were fully dressed, but Yunhee and Hana were set for their day. We men fortunately were able to get it together before the two ladies came in to do their work. There were four crew members on the window installation team. The ladies worked on inside prep and the men were on the ladders outside. The crew chief used a blowtorch to loosen the fittings on the old windows, the new windows were installed and we have more climate-efficient viewpoints on the world.

I explain these things to Hana, though it will be a while before she even knows what windows and doors are. She is, however, studying her world very intently with her little eyes and I know she’s thinking about things at a newborn’s level. The main things are still a regular meal and a clean diaper, and cuddle time with each of us is a close third. Mom and Dad made a quick sale of a couple of items they no longer need, at the Middle School Pop-up Market, this evening. Guess who wasn’t consulted, and felt let down. I was at least able to keep her from feeling too abandoned-and it was only for ten minutes.

The day was nice, as I was also able to clear 90% of the pile of cardboard from our garage, taking it to the recycling center. It is on the other side of town, taking me through downtown Plano, which meant a stop at 1418 Coffee, for a macha & scone. Granddaughter was glad to see me when I got back and we had a bit more playtime before dinner.

I thought a bit about today being President’s Day, and how we cannot close the country’s curtains on the wider world. We also can’t pretend that our windows should be tinted, so the rest of the planet doesn’t seem to exist. We need to set an example of order, not chaos. I hope that is starting to dawn on some of those who act as if they want to roll back the clock, or set a timer on how long it takes to amass a larger fortune than anyone could ever spend.

Hope all had a decent President’s Day.

Hana Goes to A Park

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February 15, 2026- The fresh air agreed with my granddaughter, and the stroller is a very smooth ride on Plano’s sidewalks and crosswalks. So, Hana let the pacifier drop from her mouth, after about three minutes, and enjoyed the Springlike afternoon-variously looking at the trees and at her parents, as they took turns pushing the stroller.

We went to Hoblitzelle Park, as it is just down the street from the cul de sac. It was her first time outside, other than the medical appointments that don’t really count, as she goes from house to car to office in a car seat. She was very happy, even though she never left the stroller. One step at a time; there will be opportunities to explore the neighbourhood that is her wider world, as she keeps growing over the next year. It was enough that she passed by other little ones in their strollers, getting a slight awareness of her peers. It was also good that the family of three had their photos taken at a bench, in the south playground of “the Hob”. It won’t be all that long before our growing girl is in a basket swing, followed in a few years by the whole range of swings, slides and bars.

She’s nine weeks old now, and sleeps longer through the night, not so much interested in feeding as frequently between Midnight and 5 a.m. That gives her hard-working parents a bit of a break, and I don’t feel as bad about getting my sleep, in preparation for the next day’s activities, which start at 5.She also loves “Stand Up and Sit Down”, as I’ve mentioned, being very proud of standing up straight, with Grandpa’s hands under her arms for support. She certainly coos her appreciation, while looking at me adoringly. All these things add up to a happy, well-adjusted little girl.

Support your adult children. The gratitude will filter down to the grandbabies.

The Stage and the Platform

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February 14, 2026- My kids planned their Valentine’s Day together. Son bought a nice assortment of cut flowers, the only element of surprise, on a day when daughter-in-law took the initiative in scoping out restaurants where they might go. Of course, there was a wait, but the evening worked out nicely. Hana and I had an evening of “stand up, sit down” (one of her favourite developmental games), my reading a chapter of “My Father’s Dragon”, and the snuggling and bottle feeding that are essential in a newborn’s life.

Earlier today, I took part in a brief online discussion about romantic holidays as performance art, as opposed to their being reflective of a deeper, more stable and integrated relationship. My kids passed the acid test. They have made each other’s big days, and their joint big days, focuses of mutual attention and planning, since they became committed to one another. Their platform is solid and supports the stage of important engagements.

I pondered the difference between the above, and the relationships in which one or both parties lurch from one helter-skelter “special day” to another. There are many who “forget” their significant others’ birthdays, or even wedding anniversaries. They are diffident about their partners’ dreams and significant events, or about her/his independent activities altogether. It is not surprising then, when the platform made of particle board collapses under the weight of dreams and expectations made of steel and titanium.

A lot of this is a matter of individual maturity and the developmental level of intuition, of both partners. It is also true that clarity, mingled with commitment, is the best foundation for any relationship. The platform of steel will support the heaviest of stages.

Freyja and Thirteen

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February 13, 2026- Friday is named for Freyja, the Norse goddess of just about everything earthy. She is given the portfolios of love and war, among other matters, thus making her job pretty much impossible. It is said by some that she was a child born of siblings, which would seem to make just about any task impossible for her to perform, though what do I know about supernatural genetics? She had a husband who was always off doing his own thing, leaving her to raise two daughters alone. We thus honour her by naming many people’s favourite day of the week in her honour.

Friday is, for people in business, a day to wrap things up for the week and to set sights on the following Monday. For teachers and office workers, it’s an afternoon and evening of unwinding. For many in tight-knit neighbourhoods, it’s another day to gather at the corner bar. For me, it was a night to catch live music at the Raven or Rafter 11, when I lived in Prescott and for going to a coffee shop for the same, when Penny and I were in Flagstaff or Phoenix.

Nowadays, Friday is another day of being with my granddaughter and all the snuggling, playing a little game of “Stand-Up, Sit Down” (for which she loves being praised for standing up, straightening her legs, with my support and then sitting back down) and helping with her personal care and feeding. There are no special things that distinguish one day from another, save that her father is off work on Saturday and Sunday. This is new for me, and likely is only a temporary state of affairs. (The world will inject itself into our lives again, soon enough.)

Friday the 13th, depending on one’s point of view, is either a day to revel in the joys provided by feminine energy or a day to stay home and hide under the covers. I can’t stand to stay in bed after 6 or 7, and my time with Hana begins at 5, so the second option has about as much appeal as a root canal. I’ve always loved women and girls, so the first choice has been easy to go with. To date, I have not had any bad experiences on Friday the Thirteenth. If anything, it’s been a fairly good day, over the years.

Freyja, wherever she is, must be smiling on our little Hana.

Our Better Nature

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February 12, 2026- Abraham Lincoln closed his first Inaugural Address with:
“I am loath to close. We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave to every living heart and hearthstone all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.”

He struck a conciliatory tone to the slaveholders of the Southern and Border states, in a last ditch effort to avoid the outbreak of hostilities. Some became emboldened, and it didn’t work. We are warned, in Scripture, not to encourage those who lie, steal or engage in selfish behaviour. Lincoln thought he could convince those he regarded as “friends and neighbours” to retreat from their threats of secession. He would have done best to have heeded Christ:

“Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.” – Matthew 7:6

“Warn a divisive person once, and then warn them a second time. After that, have nothing to do with them.” – Titus 3:10

When I was a teenager, I was warned by elders who have since passed, but who I respect to this day, to not give in to bullies. I stood my ground a few times, enough so that the kids backed off and some eventually became friends. Had I not stood up for myself, it was clear that they would have become emboldened.

It is also clear that, in the days when confrontation, and going after “the low-hanging fruit” are practices being substituted for reasoned policy-making and public discourse, the angels of our better nature require standing ground by sticking to facts, orienting self and avoiding the temptation to fall back on self-propelled fantasy. They require listening, certainly, and they require discernment, in evaluating what one has heard.

In-Laws

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February 11, 2026- My mother-in-law would have turned 100 today. I look back on her contributions to our family life with a lot more gratitude than I might have shown as a thirty something and forty something work in progress. She had another term for it: “piece of work”, but she knew I was doing the best I could with what I had.

In-laws work together, coming from different generations, life experiences and perspectives. Hers was a more Victorian, adult-centric view, and she spoke of how her own childhood found her often shoved to the sidelines, by elders more concerned with “important issues”, in which children had no say. That lesson came hard to her, and I got the feeling that she wished she could be more tolerant of little ones. That aside, she raised Penny to be a caring and responsible woman; that gave me a wonderful helpmate, and Aram, a marvelous mother.

Now, it is my turn to be an in-law. I think the world of Yunhee, and get along well with her parents. She is hands down the best wife Aram could want and an exemplary mother to Hana. What I learned from Norm and Bunny is that there is a fine line between showing concern for the well-being of the family and getting in between husband and wife. I have a good situation now, in which Aram and Yunhee will invite my assistance, while I give them space to raise Hana as they see fit, and to consult me if they have issues, for which answers elude them.

I can sense the folks, and my parents, are with Penny, looking on with delight at seeing our son and daughter-in-law raising an exceptional child of their own.

Harlequin

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February 9, 2026- My Dad used to bring home a gallon of ice cream that was called harlequin-vanilla, chocolate and strawberry, layered in one box. He noted these were the three most popular flavours, so we could each choose without feeling left out. I took a little of each. I forget what my siblings chose, but it was one flavour to the exclusion of others. That didn’t faze me. Each one of us is unique and entitled to our own opinions.

Yesterday’s Super Bowl offered a choice between two excellent teams. Seattle won, probably because of a more aggressive offense. I was busy with family things here, and didn’t watch the game, but would have been happy had New England won-as there is a direct connection, one of my maternal uncles was a key figure in getting both stadiums at Foxborough. That said, I congratulate the Seahawks for a job well done.

The halftime show was a statement celebrating the wholeness of the Americas. I only watched a clip of the end, and thought it a nice touch that most of the independent nations of the hemisphere were mentioned, after Mr. Martinez Ocasio’s statement: “God Bless America”. He probably could have done justice to the song, had he sung it, but Brandi Carlile had already done a fine rendition of “America the Beautiful”. (I watched that clip as well). There was an alternative show, by conservative artists. I didn’t watch any of that, but it is on You Tube, for those whose tastes prefer it. For the record, I like Lee Greenwood and Carrie Underwood, and would have watched any segment either of them might have done. I also like Latin music, and was an early fan of Santana, Joan Baez singing in Spanish, and the Chilean band, Quilapayun.

I guess I am just given to enjoying variety, diversity, or harlequin.