Category Archives: Inspiration

The Slow Death of Subterfuge

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Family, Historical, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 26, 2026- The meeting apparently went relatively well. Credit was given where, and to whom it was due. My daughter-in-law stood her ground and was at least recognized for making a concerted effort to set things right. An attempt, by a less-motivated individual, to shift blame onto their superiors,fell flat. The process will continue tomorrow, but YH’s in-person participation is done, for now. She can focus on her little girl and perhaps get some rest, over the weekend.

The thing that irritates me, a bystander in the whole affair, is the same thing that aggravates about a number of situations: The devaluing of any human being by another, I used to think that this was merely the result of elitism, misdirected cronyism or even narcissism. Yet the more that I recognize put-downs and dismissive comments as largely being reflections of the critic’s self-perception, the more hope I actually have that we, as a species, can move away from subterfuge.

In terms of cosmic energy, a formative civilizational period, of 6000 years, has come to an end. We have gotten all the mileage we are going to get out of one-upmanship , achievement based on cutthroat competition and a zero sum mentality. The Age of Brutus, of Machiavelli and the Borgias, of John Henry Hammond and John D. Rockefeller, even of Donald Trump and Elon Musk, is at an end.

To be sure, we have not seen the literal end of the last two mentioned above, but to have any influence in the emerging civilization that is based on openness, self-awareness and a cooperative mentality, they, and others like them, will have to sharply pivot from all that has sustained their prominence, and be re-born in the same manner as Saul of Tarsus. It worked for Andrew Carnegie, towards the end of the Gilded Age. It might have worked for Woodrow Wilson, had he not suffered that incapacitating stroke

Here at our little home, I will continue to foster a culture of frequent consultation, team planning and celebration of each achievement by any member of the family, no matter how small. Hana’s initiation of “Army crawling” (moving forward on her belly, using her hands and feet, with head raised) is one such cause for joy. Her mother’s soldiering through the rectifying of crisis that was manufactured by the ennui of others is another such cause celebre. Aram may well have climbed another rung on his ladder.

In the life of society, as well as in the life of a family, nature abhors a vacuum. What appears, on the surface, as collapse and chaos, is ever underpinned by an emerging layer of solidarity and certitude. This is what I see happening in our time.

Pushing Off

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Education, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 25, 2026- Hana took her first moves forward, this evening. She did this by pushing her feet off against my hands. It marks the first time she has been able to propel herself forward, while on her hands and knees.I look forward to helping her build on this, and seeing her crawl using her hands and feet, very soon.

Every skill I’ve ever mastered has involved a learning curve. It has often been mastered under a modicum of pressure. I’ve made a fair number of mistakes and at times been labeled a slow learner. In the end, though, I’ve been able to perform the task with a fair proficiency. It’s gone best, when I haven’t had a well-meaning family member or friend tell me to “just let an expert take care of it”

That may work when it comes to repairing a car engine or rewiring a house, neither of which I have the least bit of confidence in doing. Other tasks, which I have found interesting, and simple enough to do on my own, have turned out fairly well. I painted the exterior of my house in Phoenix, and got about 2/3 of the way through painting the interior, before the place was caught up in the housing crisis of 2008-9. I cleared the roof of snow, at the school where I worked in Maine, in the winter of 1976-7. I used to do routine maintenance (changing oil & filter, gapping spark plugs, changing belts and hoses) on my cars, before vehicles became computerized. I can do simple plumbing tasks. Athletic skills, even as mediocre as they are, came late in life.

All of which come back to mind, as my granddaughter’s life begins to take root. The skills she acquires in infancy and as a toddler will be achieved in an atmosphere of patience and support. There will be no pressure on this end, only the loving encouragement of three people who have lived through situations in which pressure was applied, by well-meaning but insecure friends and teachers, to get the skill learned quickly.

She will have a solid foundation in confidence building, before heading off to whatever school her parents choose for her. She will push off from a pier of love.

Ninety-Nine

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Posted by on in children, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 22, 2026- That is the age my father would have attained, had he lived to now. It’s been nearly forty years since his passing, yet I can envision a world with him, his older brother (who would be 101, in August) and his eldest sister (would have turned 102, in January). They were each fairly conservative in their world views, but they would likely be rather disconcerted at what is being done in the name of the system they each cherished.

Dad believed in the importance of character. He kept his word and expected us to keep ours. When one of us dropped the ball, which for me was more often than I’d like to admit, his admonitions were short and to the quick. He was not a violent man, so corporal punishment was rare. Letting him down was bad enough.

He would have been mildly amused to have seen me struggle with parenting a teenager, but he would be proud of the man Aram has become. He would be concerned with making sure that his great granddaughter was in a stable home-and so far, she is. I have no doubt that this will continue to be the case.

He would also be glad to see the overall size and stability of the family that he and our mother got started. Each of us has made our mark in the world, and none of it has come without struggle. In that respect, we shared his experiences. Our children have also done well, and his great-grandchildren, many of whom are in their teen years, are starting to make their mark in the world.

It has been said, in places, that 99 is a perfect culmination, a place to assess one’s legacy. I would say Ferdinand Joseph Boivin’s legacy is quite solid.

Springing Forward

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Family, Historical, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 21, 2026- Hana came into the world with winter, being born on the December Solstice, last year. It was a day later than usual, but that worked for my granddaughter. Early this morning, as her second season began, she turned over, from her back to her belly, and quickly turned her head to her left, as her father came over to see what had happened. I watched it all on the monitor in my bedroom, glad to have been in on the milestone.

Today is Naw-Ruz, which for Baha’is begins a new spiritual year. Iranians, Tajiks and Pashtuns have celebrated Naw-Ruz (“New Day”) for over 3000 years, since the Dispensation of Zoroaster. In the latter tradition, it is a twelve-day celebration. For Baha’is, it is this one day, and our local community gathered at Plano Baha’i Center, a spacious and lovely facility, for two hours of readings, songs, a Q & A game for children and youth and a large, delectable spread.

What was most heartening about this gathering is that, when children under 12 were presented with gifts by the Spiritual Assembly, and there were more kids than gifts, the children made sure that each of their fellows had a gift, even if it meant dividing up a whole gift. One girl was given a snack wand and, since her brother already had a wand, she gave hers to a girl who had a small bag of chocolates. The second girl brought over half of her chocolates to share with the first.

Ours is one of the strongest models for a society which is now struggling. It remains, though, a matter of acquiring knowledge, adopting volition and taking action. This is the bounty given to every person, in these days of confusion and disruption. I invite anyone reading this to check http://www.bahai.org.

Happy Equinox!

Not Invincible

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Posted by on in Assistance, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 20, 2026- Chuck Norris died today, the last day of winter taking one of the last Winter Soldiers. He was a lot more politically conservative than I am- I think the last Presidential candidate we both supported was Ronald Reagan-and for different reasons. I thought the Great Communicator was a man of character (until Iran-Contra). Chuck said he liked the aura of machismo. Years ago, I was told, by two different groups of young men, that I looked like Chuck. The first group, of Navajo adolescents, would approach me by getting into martial arts stances-only joking, of course. The second, a trio of young Black men, on a bus going to Buffalo, said I could go around spouting lines from his movies, and some people would do a double take. No one really close to me, though, has ever recognized a likeness.

I never met Chuck Norris, but I watched “The Way of the Dragon” and many of the “Walker, Texas Ranger” episodes. I also got a kick out of the Chuck Norris jokes, even doing a spoof on Xanga: “Chuck Norris vs. The Most Interesting Man in the World”. (The latter was a character on a Dos Equis beer commercial, who was played by Jonathan Goldsmith). I believe one of the lines was “Chuck Norris yawns at the Most Interesting Man, who doesn’t dare yawn back.”

It is at times tempting to take solace in the exploits of a supremely masculine figure-but eventually, the He-Men pass from the scene, as Chuck Norris did today. When I was a kid, I was in awe of Charles Atlas and Jack LaLanne. Charles (nee Angelo Siciliano) was a body builder, well before the heyday of Arnold Schwarzenegger. He lived to be 80, then died of a heart attack. Jack was a diet and exercise guru and lived to be 96, then died of pneumonia, after refusing to see a doctor. In the 1960s, the two were seen as invincible-Jack even said he “could never die, because it’d ruin my image.”

So it goes, and it is equally true of those public figures who seem invincible in their own right. They will come to a reckoning, like you and I and everyone in between. It’ll shock some of their admirers, but as Chuck would say; “You become what you choose.”

Pledges and Promises

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, Community, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving

March 15, 2026- Hana looked at me with concern in her eyes, as I was next to her, while she was busy pumping her legs in the balloon exercise that I described a few days ago. It seemed she was wondering what I was thinking, as my face was serious. I told her that I wanted her to go after whatever dreams she might have, as long as they help her and other people. She likely has only a very limited understanding of what I was talking about, but a smile returned to her face.

I finished reading “Nobody’s Girl”, by Virginia Giuffre, who was prominent in getting the Epstein Files top of mind, for so many people. She died last year, under murky circumstances, with even one of her own collaborators casting doubt on her mental stability and the status of her marriage. Any of the insinuations, or none of them, could be true. The woman had more health issues in her last years of life than most people have to even momentarily face. It may have been impossible for her and her husband to stay together, though she ends her narrative on a positive note, in that regard. (The collaborator makes a veiled reference to the couple being “estranged”, in the opening pages of the book and a Wikipedia article on Virginia casts her husband as an abusive brute. That same article says that the FBI doesn’t believe a word she said about a sex trafficking network headed by Jeffrey Epstein.)

The drivel in parentheses is one of the reasons that I take official accounts of abuse of women and children with several grains of salt. When I was a counselor, and a young person, usually a girl, came to me and said s(he) had been abused, only once was it untrue-and that fabulist came to me on her own and admitted she had made the whole thing up. I was far more skeptical of people in high places-or journalists, who took the side of the accused. There was always money or power behind their counterclaims. Generally speaking, I found that children should be seen, heard and believed.

I’ve said it before, and will maintain as long as I have all my faculties and senses about me-no one hurts my granddaughter-ever. That was what was on my mind, when she looked at me, with such probing eyes.

Baby Planks

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving

March 13, 2026- Hana held her head up, while prone, for over three minutes, this evening. She has been working very hard at this prerequisite to crawling and has been frustrated with herself, up to now. Each time, we have told her that we are proud of her for trying and to not give up. She is internalizing our encouragement, smiling each time we offer it. Tonight was a big advance for her.This skill is, roughly speaking, the infant’s equivalent of a plank, which of course is an adult holding self up on elbows and extended toes, for 1-3 minutes. Babies are hardwired to want to develop mobility skills, just as they want to build language skills.

Speaking of which, Hana is making clearly thought out sounds, in a sentence-like cadence, and is happy when we maintain eye contact, while she is speaking. We generally get a sense of what she is saying, by reading her facial expression and deciphering her tone of voice. A soft voice indicates she is happy or peaceful. A serious tone means she needs cleaning or that she is getting tired. A loud tone means she is frustrated or feels ignored. This last will be followed by crying, if we don’t pick up on it right away.

She is also paying close attention to what her mother needs her to do. When bathing, for example, when Yunhee goes to wash under Hana’s arms, the baby lifts her arms straight up. When she goes to change Hana into night clothes, the child will take her own arms out of the day outfit’s sleeves. She is also very much into cleanliness and neatness. This seems in keeping with what has been noticed about Capricorns, (Hana was born on the December Solstice).

Early development of physical skills could be followed by backsliding, if we make too much of the matter and up the ante. That said, we are proud of what our girl is doing, at just under three months of age.

International Women’s Day

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 8, 2026- I had the best of intentions, ordering a lox and tomato bagel for my daughter-in-law , for International Women’s Day, especially as it was part of the local bagel shop’s fundraiser for prevention of violence against women and girls. Saved By The Bagel is a take-off on a popular 1980s sitcom, “Saved by the Bell”. Yunhee is on a dairy-free diet, for Hana’s sake, until mid-April. I forgot that bagel shops almost always add a shmear (cream cheese), so when I got the sandwich home, she contented herself with the tomato, onion and lettuce on the part of the bagel that had no shmear. She said she also doesn’t eat lox. It meant more to her that I honestly loved the beef stew she had made, three days ago. I had four bowls of it, two on the night it was made. I also spent the afternoon with Hana, so that Yunhee could have a few hours to go shopping for items she wanted, or the house needed.

One of those items was an electric chainsaw. She got a deal on it, and proudly presented it to me, knowing that I wanted to tend to the bough that was 80% severed from the oak tree in the front yard. I got the chain on the wand, but had to consult my neighbour on the corner, as to the finer points of tightening the chain. This led to his coming down to the yard and essentially cutting the bough and its branches, as the saw is one of his favourite tools. His son-in-law was along, to help me keep the ground around him free on fallen branches. There is nothing more dangerous than someone who gets carried away with a power tool. We three managed to get the job done in less than an hour. I offered them the better pieces of cut wood, but they declined. I got in my exercise by moving the debris to the back, by the alley, where I will cut the longer branches down to smaller units tomorrow.

That part had nothing to do with IWD, other than getting the men out of the house. International Women’s Day is never about men giving things. It is more about women empowering themselves. The notion that female humans are inherently worthwhile, and don’t need men to complete them, is oddly enough, only fairly recently a widespread concept. There have always been women who have stood on their own two feet, for life. Some have married; others just forged their own successful paths. Some have raised children; others found fostering animals more fulfilling; still others found the nurturing of ideas and creating products more to their liking.

On this International Women’s Day, I recall the lives of my grandmothers, who raised twenty children, between them; of my mother, who raised five of us and was the glue for her extended family; of my sister, who remains a matriarchal figure for her children and grandchildren; of my late wife, who earned three Master’s Degrees, the last while in declining health. There are women whose memorials I have visited: Civil Rights icons-Coretta Scott King, Fannie Lou Hamer, Nina Simone; Holocaust victim Hana Reiner, and astrophysicist Eleanor “Glo” Helin, whose asteroid research is celebrated at her place of work, Palomar Mountain. There are the women friends who work wonders, every single day, in fields from astrology to auto mechanics to home renovation.

Mostly, though, I look ahead, to all that my daughter-in-law has left to achieve and to all that my granddaughter can choose. My grandnieces, likewise, have an infinite realm of possibilities in front of them, because of the work that their mothers and grandmothers have put into having their strengths, ideas and dreams recognized and appreciated.

We’re all better off because of what women have done.

Small Havoc

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 7, 2026- A heavy rain fell, and there was a fair amount of thunder and lightning, into the mid-morning hours. A branch of one of our trees is partially severed from the main trunk and is now partially covering our front sidewalk. That gives me something to work on tomorrow, when the weather is expected to be nicer. My goal is to at least clear the sidewalk. Working from the outermost edge towards the thick part of the branch, I should be able to get a fair amount of the debris cleared and hauled back to the alley. The larger part of the branch will take a bit longer to clear. Son won’t be back for another two weeks, so I will carefully get what I can done rather than leaving it all for him.

There was a warning of possible tornadoes last night, but none materialized this far south. Our safe zone is a windowless bathroom on the first floor. Strangely, there is no community shelter, but there are plenty of “tornado shelter companies” willing to sell shelters to individual families. I guess the idea that this is an individual endeavour strikes me as odd. The only times that I have been near a tornado, in Missouri and in Ohio, there was an active effort at getting people together in community shelters. Fortunately, we were spared, this time. My condolences to those people in eastern Oklahoma and southeast Michigan who were not so fortunate.

Every part of the world has its drawbacks, either in terms of natural phenomena or of being in the crosshairs of some conflict. There are always innocent victims, in any event. My job now is making sure that my granddaughter isn’t one of them. Not everyone thinks I have her best interests at heart. I guess they will just have to find out. Suffice it to say that no one will hurt her, as long as I am of sound mind and body.

First Laugh

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, Community, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 6, 2026- Hana laughed just before her mother and I had lunch, this noon. It marked the first time either of us had witnessed her chuckling. She is very happy, when we bring her to the bouncy chair at our mealtimes. The sense of being included has already been integrated in her 2 1/2 month old mind. It is a tradition of sorts- Penny and I always had Aram with us at breakfast and dinner. (I didn’t always get back for lunch, but when I did, he was with us then, also.) I initiated having her at table for dinner, and her parents were quick to affirm.

She chuckled periodically, throughout the day-and as I fed her a nightcap bottle, she was thinking about something funny and let the amusement process, laughing quietly before starting to take her nourishment. As the days roll by and she has more experiences in her memory, I fully expect she will find something to joyfully recall. When she develops language, I’m sure she will share them with us.

Dineh people have a tradition, where the first person to make a baby laugh gets to throw a laughing party for the family. I did so once, for a little boy who is now 39 years of age. In Korean tradition, a baby is honoured on the 100th day after birth. Aram, as we were living in Jeju, Korea in the days of his babyhood, was given a 100 Day Party and wore a hanbok, the garb of a baby on the hundredth day. He was also given a tiny ring, which we probably still have in the jewelry box.

Hana will have a hundredth day party. We will also honour her laughter, as well as any other milestones she passes before then. She is likely to have several things to “say” about this. Her cooing and babbling are quite frequent now. We engage her in conversation, to encourage these.