Apples and Oranges

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October 17, 2024, Manila- As I consider the whys and wherefores of a move to the Philippines, vs. staying put in the U.S., I sometimes get asked whether my friend is a surrogate for my late wife. This is a rather boorish question, but the people posing it are doing so in good faith-even if their reasoning is off.

Penny was Penny. I will love her forever, and that love will never be transferred to another person. Kathy is Kathy. I will love her forever, and that love is not derived from the feelings I had towards my late wife. The two women share a heritage-both were (are) German, by matrilineal descent. Both are fervent Baha’is- one in the spiritual realm; the other still serving our Lord in this realm, on a daily basis. Both exhibit high intelligence and curiosity. Both were(are) physically comely. Therein, the similarities run out. Penny was tall, musically-inclined and had a peppery personality. Kathy is short, a financial whiz and even-tempered. Neither could possibly be a surrogate for the other.

Penny was fond of saying: “An apple is an apple; it’s NOT an orange”, in response to anyone’s lame attempt at false equivalence. I do not place one love above the other. In the next life, I anticipate that we will all be part of a greater team of spirits, serving God in whatever way He deems fit. (There is, in Baha’i Teachings, no provision for free will, in the spirit realm.)

Thereby, I hold that my attraction to both women was (is) primarily due to their spirituality, which in turn, infuses each of their personalities-and contributes to their outward radiance. This is all I can say on the matter. Love is love.

A Growing Circle

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October 16, 2024, Manila- I stood at the entrance to Heritage Memorial Garden, after a service for a long-standing member of the Philippine Baha’i community, waiting as directed, for someone who would arrange a ride for me to return to the Regional Baha’i Center. It wasn’t hot, and the breeze was actually quite pleasant.

A vehicle stopped, and out came Kathy and her two sons. K told me that we would all ride together, in a GRAB taxi (the Philippine version of Uber). I assured her that I would pay for the group. We had a pleasant ride back to mid-town Makati, with minimal small talk, as none of us was much for yakking, after the lengthy funeral, in which Kathy and I each had speaking parts. She was also one of the main organizers of the event, having been close to the woman who passed on. I had not met the woman, but am impressed with her vitae. So, I read a message from our Universal House of Justice and a short prayer.

When it came time to pay the driver, K’s eldest son revealed that he already had covered it. This is no big deal to the members of my growing family. The young man had just met me, yet was perfectly glad to make sure of my well-being. Considering who his mother is, I ought not be surprised. It has not taken long for her to be one of the brightest lights in my sky.

A short while earlier, I had been introduced to K’s siblings, who took me to the gate of the Memorial Park, about a kilometer from the burial site. Two brothers and a sister, two pensive men of few words and a chatty lady, they are each nonetheless of pleasant mien. Thus, in a brief period, I came to be introduced to the family members of one of the most important people to enter my life, in the past ten years.

Maybe it had to do with the energy of the person who was being honoured. Martha Taylor was always bringing people together, herself being of Persian descent, married to an African-American and living in five Asian nations and the U.S. Territory of Guam, over the past fifty years. There was scant anonymity left, after any gathering she hosted-and she had friends in the highest and lowest places alike. I would have liked to have met her; yet in Kathy, I feel like I’ve met her mirror image.

At any rate, I have rarely experienced the expansion of my circle, in such a meaningful way and in such short order. I will take every other affirmation that comes, in the next 1 1/2 weeks, in every Facebook chat that she and I have during the next six months and in all that transpires here on out. My circle is not only growing; it’s getting deeper and stronger.

Preparation, and Repair

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October 14, 2024, Manila- We got word this morning that a longtime Baha’i resident of Metro Manila, who came from Iran, had passed away after a long illness. When something like this happens, plans change, of course, and a”all hands are on deck”. Being on the periphery of preparations for the funeral and memorial, two days from now, my immediate concern was to get a proper shirt and tie, and leather shoes, for the occasion. (I would have done that, anyway, in preparation for an event being planned for this week. That event is postponed until after the honouring of the deceased. ) I will help out, at the ground level, on Wednesday.

The other thing that happened, over the weekend, was that a major kitchen appliance went kaput. We looked at the matter from all angles, and while it may be repairable, the item does not, in other ways, any longer meet the needs of the community. A comparable appliance, different in capacity, will be purchased to take its place.

This is a most intense year of changes happening “on a dime”. There will, no doubt, be others-some of which can be deduced by an educated guess and the rest coming upon us with minimal notice. My time in the Philippines, this go-round, is down to two weeks. Then comes the Presidential election, and for me, on the ground, drives to Carson City, northern New Mexico, southern Arizona and either a flight or road trip to Grapevine.

Then comes 2025, the year of fruition, of tying up loose ends, and of “one door closing and another one opening”. What that means for your truly will somewhat depend on the next 2 1/2 months, as who knows what loose ends will still be dangling. There will, however, be no shortage of preparation, and repair.

With Each Breath…..

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October 13, 2024, Manila- The little man and his Transformer figures “adopted’ me, while his father and Kathy figured out how to get connected to the Internet, for a memorial presentation. It took a few weeks, but A feels secure with me, and with the rest of the group, even to the point of keeping quiet during prayers and much of the discussion. He’s five, so there are limits, and that’s okay.

Today being Sunday, we gathered at the Center for devotions, so the Memorial for a long-time member of the Makati Baha’i Community, who passed away whilst serving in another country, was a most proper and worthy focus. Several of the friends knew the man, who was of Persian descent and a tireless contributor to community life, both spiritually and financially.

I can see, with each breath I take here, why he felt so connected, so in love with the community. The Filipino spirit, in and of itself, is loving and affirming. Combined with the Baha’i ethic of concern for the well-being of every individual, it has the raw materials of a stellar national community. Walking to a pharmacy, to purchase a needed re-stock of a supplement, yesterday afternoon, I was greeted as “Joe”, “Dad” and “George Washington”. Security guards are everywhere, but there is no surliness or menace about them, just keeping those who might want to cause trouble on notice.

After we paid our respects, a fine feast was enjoyed by all. My contribution was again filleted chicken thigh, this time with Bradford Curry, instead of dinakdakan. The curry proved more popular than the Ilocano pork offal-based sauce. I find them both delectable, but the locals like curry better. Then again, chicken thighs and breasts are a natural host for delicious sauces of all kinds. Everyone contributed something-A even put his sugar snacks on the table.

We all had enough energy, after the full repast, to cover two more sections of a Baha’i study on Huquq’u’llah and for the group to plan its activities for November, which include three straight days of events: A spiritual Feast, followed by celebrations of the births of al-Bab and Baha’u’llah (These are November 1 (the Feast) and 2-3 (the Holy Days). They will do just fine in the planning and carrying-out of the celebrations. I shared some links to programs they might include-which made everyone happy.

While I can’t stay beyond the 27th, a return next May, for a longer stay at least, is looking more likely.

Love, to the Moon and Back

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October 11, 2024, Manila- “If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it’s yours.If not, it was never meant to be.” I’ve paid lip service to this, especially since Penny left for a better level. I have never felt she has been far away-and I have even felt that, when I fell for someone last year, this new love had Penny’s blessing.

I have no way of knowing in what direction my current friendship is going to head. Someone dear to me said, before I left for the Philippines this time, “You could love her to the moon and back, but if the feeling is not reciprocal, it can’t be faked.” I would be willing to make the life change and move here, but if it’s not a welcome move, it’s hardly a wise one. I have safe haven at Home Base I, and no one there who sees me through apprehensive eyes.

So, I will do what is prudent, in the time I have left here. I will visit Baha’i friends in another part of the country and pay further homage to those who died in World War II Another friend said, “No one needs to get married a second time”, and she is right. I know that I love my friend here, as deeply as I loved my wife. That is a rarity, and will not change. Still, there are twists and turns that she needs to navigate-and my presence would, for the time being, only be in the way. I have left the ball strictly in her court; she knows where she stands with me.

I am well, emotionally, with the caveat: “I am learning this, too: ‘We must not only be patient with others, infinitely patient!, but also with our own poor selves, remembering that even the Prophets of God sometimes got tired and cried out in despair!’ (Shoghi Effendi) And while I am deeply sure that ‘the Prophets of God’ had far more to despair about than I do or will, this quote gives me hope that I am not wallowing in my grief, but learning the lessons it will teach me.” (Borrowed, in gratitude, from a recently departed member of my spiritual family).

NOTE: Shoghi Effendi, the eldest surviving grandson of ‘Abdu’l-Baha, served as Guardian of the Baha’i Faith from ‘Abdu’l-Baha’s death, (1921), until his own passing (1957). He provided a wealth of translation, explanation and elucidation of the Writings of al-Bab, Baha’u’llah and ‘Abdu’l-Baha, as well as offering timeless insights into the growth and development of the Faith.

Camia Garlands and A Filipino Banquet

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October 10, 2024, Manila- The little entrepreneur was down to his last few hand-strung garlands of sweet-smelling camia blossoms. As we sat in a group and discussed various aspects of life in Manila and the urban U.S., one of our group members purchased the rest of the garlands. One was given to each of the women in our group, and I kept one for K, in case she was able to join us later.

Koi The’ Bubble Tea Shop, One Ayala Mall, Makati

Our host, Nelson (seated to my right, with ball cap), then brought us to MESA, a Filipino restaurant, where we enjoyed a full range of regional and national culinary treats: Pork belly (Binaggongan baboy), baked scallops in shell, suahe (large shrimp, barbecued in shell), sisig (fried rice with minced pork), various chicken dishes and a flounder-like baked fish, along with various side dishes whose names I did not quite catch.

It was a fitting celebration of both Nelson’s return here (he lives in the U.S. ) and that of a revered Baha’i elder, who lives primarily in the U.K. The rest of us were honoured just to be along for the gathering.

Part of me would not mind relocating here. There is more of the universal way of thinking, a collective mindset, to which I long ago became hard-wired. It will depend on how things go in a certain friendship, so we’ll see. Nevertheless, I have bonds here, for the rest of my life-much like in Home Base I, and in a number of other places across North America, in South Korea and in Europe. I can’t ever look at life through a dark glass again.

Nampo Garcia- A Street Kid Story

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October 9, 2024, Manila- (Any connection between the characters in this tale and real people is purely coincidental.)

I felt the blade at my back,as I retrieved the cash from the ATM. “Now, you will give me the due that you refused, back at the Light Rail station!”, snarled a voice at the other end of the knife. “Will I, now?”, I responded, in my best fake Irish brogue. I looked at the wad of bills, then glanced over at the small pair of hands to my right, cupped and ready.

I tossed the folded bills to a chuckling, triumphant street boy. The hapless beggar took off after Nampo, dropping his knife and momentarily forgetting about me. The boy, little more than 3’8” and 50 pounds soaking wet, ran around the floral planter that graced the front of my hostel, all the while holding the cash, in a teasing manner, as the half-addled thief continued to pursue him, like a cat chasing its own tail.

Nampo knew the drill. He ran up to the hostel’s security guard and stood still, until I came up the steps. His meal depended on not running afoul of Steven Morales, who had often graciously provided the boy, and his little sister, with one of the hostel restaurant’s signature burgers or at least one of its ample rice bowls. Tonight, though, as Steven handcuffed the foolish beggar, I took Nampo inside the cafe, and for once, the Chinese owner did not wince and start fussing in Mandarin, about “a mouse being in the house”. Nampo had a full meal and was allowed to take an order to go, for his sister, who was waiting at their makeshift cardboard and plywood hut, off Dominga Street.

“Uncle Rama”, Nampo queried, as we ate, “do you have a friend like me, back in Bengaluru?” “Actually, I have several such friends, Nampo”, I responded. “You see, not so long ago, I too was sleeping under rattan and cardboard, frequently crying myself to sleep and keeping one eye open. The street bandits back in India are not so easy to elude, as the drugged up fiends here in Manila.”

“Not all the thieves here are drugged up”, answered Nampo, “in fact, the only reason I can leave Shakira alone is because we have Auntie Jinja looking after us. Her son, Raul, is also here, visiting his mother and taking her to see a doctor, for her diabetes. Raul said that if he needs to take his mother back to his house in Sucot, we will go with them-and he will make sure we go to school every day.”

I felt relieved at this news and as I walked Nampo back to his encampment, thought of how lucky this resourceful little boy was, to have found Jinja, and by extension, Raul, in the first place. Then again, it was Nampo’s heart energy, taking care of little Shakira, and his pluckiness at cultivating a security guard and a tourist as his friends, that most appealed to my own heart. As it happened, Raul had gone to the hardware, on P. Ocampo, and purchased a few folding chairs. His mother was sitting in one, and he, in another. The dutiful son beckoned me to sit for a while. “Would you care for a cup of iced tea?” “That would be heavenly”, I replied, taking the last empty chair, as Nampo sat down on a bean bag seat, which Raul had also purchased. Shakira was asleep on a small cot, covered with a clean sheet, again provided by the dutiful son.

This night would pass safely for the makeshift family, and soon the four of them would head past the Ninoy Aquino International Airport, through Paranaque to the seaside community of Sucot. I would be heading home to Karnataka, in a few days, and thought that I would make more of an effort to help the urchins in my home city, in honour of Nampo and Shakira.

(The street children of Manila are definitely winsome and engaging. It is their sheer number that prevents meaningful individual assistance, but there are a number of organizations, such as Children International, which I use as a vehicle to help two families, and Save the Children, that can provide assistance to destitute children and their families. Nampo and Shakira are fictional characters, but there are people who fit their description all over the streets of Metro Manila-and other Philippine cities.)

Navigating

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October 6,2024, Manila- The day started and ended with rain. Thus, the nice picnic devotional we had planned for late morning became an indoor affair. I brought chicken fillets, topped with dinakdakan sauce. Kathy and her male cousin contributed a rather good pizza. Others brought a regional variation on pancit- a generic Tagalog name for noodles. There was also a seaweed dish, brought by one of the young men. I have been a fan of seaweed since the days we lived in Jeju, Korea. It is a powerhouse of nutrients. I will describe dinakdakan, which I find tasty, upon request. (No, it is not made from insects).

The afternoon was spent in study of aspects of Huquq’u’llah, which I have discussed in earlier posts (see especially Sept. 16, 2024). It was not dry and intense-no Filipino would sit through such boredom for long, but it was done with attention and focus. Kathy knows what she’s doing, especially when it comes to academic presentation of financial matters. I was honoured to sit at her right-hand side and contribute a fair amount to the discussion. Much of it was in Tagalog, but I had everyone’s attention when offering thoughts in English.

Towards the end of the meeting, K’s cousin pressed me to extend my stay- “permanently”. She and I exchanged knowing glances, smiled and I said I would need to go back to the U.S., for six months. There are several things needing attention at Home Base, in Carson City and back East-not excluding the possibility of time in the Southeast, given this year’s sudden explosion of hurricane energy-shades of 2005. Brief visits to San Diego and Jalisco are likely in February, and I will want to get to Massachusetts and Pennsylvania, in April.

So, we have pretty much agreed on a May return. How “permanent” will be influenced by things like the birth of one or more grandchildren-still to be determined, BTW. Today, though, I learned that any mixed signals I may have sensed, over the past day or so, were mainly in my mind. This beautiful, compassionate, intelligent woman, whose friendship I am so privileged to secure, is for real.

More Transition

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October 4,2024, Manila- She was long a champion of civil rights, for racial minorities and women. “Sexual minorities” were a bit harder for her, but she was trying to understand. Michele was, nonetheless, a compassionate friend of 35 years.

It was she, and her late husband, Tom, who talked me into taking a road trip to San Francisco-Oakland, in 2012; of course, swinging by their then-home in Reno and caravanning to the Bay Area. From there, I headed north, after three days of commemorating ‘Abdu’l-Baha’s 1912 visit to that area. After Tom passed away, in 2013, I continued to visit Michele and her family, which I came to regard as an extension of my own. Her eldest granddaughter became a surrogate grand-niece, followed, seven years later, by her little brother.

Sis has been getting weaker, these past few years, though she did not lose any of her feistiness. On my last visit, three months ago, she stood strongly against what she regarded as a general moral laxity. She cautioned me, on a different note, against up and leaving the United States, for what she regarded as a pipe dream of living abroad again. I think she felt the hourglass was running out. Last night, it did. Michele Le Boutellier Smith passed away, at the age of 75.

Michele may yet turn out to have been right. I have pretty much hit a plateau, in several aspects, as to what I can accomplish in Manila, and after giving it a few more days, will likely move on to the provinces for a couple of weeks. It is encouraging to me, though, that a well-educated, savvy gentleman is stepping up as a moving and shaking force for the Baha’i Faith in the capital area. Today, at lunch, he articulated some solid practical ideas for making the Regional Baha’i Center a true locus for the betterment of the community. It is the local residents who must achieve the true greatness of a place. Visitors like me, no matter how loving or well-intentioned, wear out our welcomes after so many days.

Transitions have been at flood tide, in a number of respects, in this Eight Universal Year, which always seems to bring about drastic change. The number of close family and friends who have left my life, either through death or attrition in the past nine months, is jarring. It is also not entirely unexpected. The year is not over yet, by a long shot, so I hang on and continue to work for the best.

Somewhere, in the great energy field to which we all go, at some point, all my relations and extended family of friends are sending the energy that will guide me aright, as long as I pay attention. I will probably be walking that path largely alone, but that is okay. I can do this.

Soloing

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September 28, 2024, Puerto Princesa- The shoe, it turns out, was only moved a short distance from its untouched mate. Darkness keeps us in suspense, yet I sense when patience will win out, in daylight. The pair again adorn my feet.

I met another American, this morning. He has settled here in Palawan and farms with his wife, near BM Beach, which will itself be my beach experience on Monday. I have made it known that, so long as I am welcome in the Philippines, next year will bring a longer stay. The “Great Adventures” I had planned for the next five years are better off done with someone I have come to love-and trust- very much. Before them, then, comes earning trust, myself-and so I make that commitment, even with the adjustments this will bring to my comfortable life in Arizona.

Family has only grown larger, over the years, but I have seen a bigger picture than my local scene, since I was four years old. Always branching out, farther and farther-while never forgetting my roots, it has been such a rewarding life. Some of this has been imparted to my son, who is in the rootedness phase of life, and so will be the anchor of annual or semiannual jaunts back to North America. The wider family, though, will hardly shrink.

I felt comfortable enough, this evening, to walk south and west, and take in Puerto Princesa’s Bayside Park, its Cathedral and Plaza Cuartel- the scene of a brutal massacre during World War II. It may or may not be a hallmark of American travelers, but I go anywhere that is not off-limits, or is obviously dangerous turf. Puerto Princesa is not a dangerous place.

Statue of the “princess”, for whom the city is named. She was an elusive figure, it is said.

Peacock Statue (Tandikan)-the provincial bird of Palawan.

University crew members, in practice

City logo, at Bayside Park.

Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception, Puerto Princesa

Account of brutality that grew out of fear.

So went my solo visit to Hondo Bay and its interesting park.