Plan A, 2020

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on January 3, 2020 in Community, Family, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

January 3, 2020-

I spent several hours, with my daughter-in-law, waiting for Aram’s flight to arrive from Seattle. We went to Phoenix in the evening, but not late enough to avoid a stretch of sitting around at the Airport. I need to work on my downtime skills, especially when it involves a “captive audience.”

This is obliquely related to what lies ahead, during what is likely to be an extraordinary year. Consultation needs to be consistently carried out, in matters great and small. Towards that end, my best friend recently reminded me of the importance of a yearly plan-mindful that life can upend the best laid plans, at a moment’s notice, but attracting divine support for the plan, anyway.

So, here is what 2020 looks like, as of today.

Commitments and Givens: Be mindful, yet stay creative. Work whenever possible, from January-May and September-December. Keep regular volunteer activities, during the above time frames. Stay present, and communicate regularly, with all members of my Tribe, especially those closest. Honour all life, including my own. Celebrate brother’s special birthday, as he sees fit. Celebrate my own special birthday. Retire in December.

Journeys: January– Valley of Fire State Park, east of Las Vegas; February– Indio (Concert) and Colorado River Valley, from Parker to Yuma; April– San Diego and Orange County; June, July & August– North Rim of Grand Canyon, Carson City, Portland, Olympic Peninsula, Vancouver Island, Prince Rupert, Southeast Alaska, Trans-Canada Highway, Toronto, Ottawa, Montreal, Atlantic Canada, New England, Philadelphia,eastern Midwest and Southeast, Florida (maybe even South FL and a bit of the Bahamas), across the South to Dallas and then back to Prescott; October– Petrified Forest, Painted Desert and Monument Valley Navajo Tribal Park.

Of course, this is what I am getting from my meditations, NOW. Much is left to conditions on the ground, at the time things are about to happen. In any event, this is what I get as my plan, at the start of the year.

Breaking The Ice

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on January 2, 2020 in Community, distraction issues, Family, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Striving

January 2, 2020-

In the course of introducing Yunhee to three of Prescott’s lakes, on the last day before her husband, my son, returns to civilian life, we came upon the phenomenon of thin ice, covering the less exposed parts of Granite Basin and Watson Lakes. In the latter location, few of the area’s signature birds were around, having made the wise choice to visit southern Mexico for a few months. Instead, the eyes were drawn to an ice dam, which served to slow the flow of water into the Watson Woods Riparian Area, also known as “The Swamp”.

It got me to thinking about the emotional and psychological ice dams, which slow and sometimes stop our interactions. I have learned that these are purely defense mechanisms- chill vibes, acting like one is busy, and sheer emotional absence. When one is offended by something, trying to figure out life or is just plain overwhelmed, offering an icy reception to those around self is a sometimes rationalized pattern of behaviour. How well it serves the purpose has to be balanced with what happens next, or down the road. Consider that an overabundance of ice can move, glacier-like, towards the shores of a nearby community. Likewise, so can a glacial pattern of behaviour serve to overwhelm one’s social circle and create a different sort of isolation than that which a person is trying to arrange.

I am fortunate in my Tribe, both birth family and wider circle. A few go through bouts of isolation, and they let me know when I’m welcome again. Most, like anyone else, are following their life plans. I am doing the same, and have spent the past few days ruminating, and getting messages, as to how this year will best play out. More on that, in the next post, but essentially I see that those closest to me here, who are like younger siblings, do not need to have me hovering close by-and that they seem to prefer my following my own life plan. To alter that, on their behalf, short of an emergency, would mean they would, in turn, be altering their life plan for my benefit.

There is more than one kind of ice dam.

And It Was….

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on December 31, 2019 in children, Community, Family, Hiking and Nature, Historical, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Slow Food Prescott, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

December 31, 2019-

It was a time of loss.

The decade took Penny, my wife of twenty-eight years and nine months, both her parents Norm and Ruth (“Bunny”), two of her aunts Averala and Helen (“Honey”), two of her cousins, Tom and Jean, and a cousin-in-law, Richard.

It took my maternal uncles, Carl and James, Carl’s two children-Keith and Carla, and our cousins Ronnie and Lorraine.

It did not spare my father’s side of the family, either, taking Uncle George, Aunt Adeline (“Sissy”) and her son Bob.

It brought several others to the Life Beyond, friends all: Christie Serino, Drew Crotty, Larry Silipigni, Alan and Rick Belyea, from my hometown of Saugus, MA; Alison Sipes, from Indiana; Mildred “Mildoo” Forney, who, along with her daughter, made my visits to Oley, PA an annual pleasure; my American Legion comrades Bob Wittmann, Dennis Young, John Mortimer, Sue Chambers, Al Tercero-among several; a host of Baha’i fellows- Ali and Violette Nakhjavani, Nancy Coker, John Cook, Firuz Khazemzadeh, Avid Navidi, Dick Sloman, Moses Nakai, Russ Garcia, Chester Kahn, Roy Dewa, Tom Smith, Keith John Manybeads.

It was a time of change.

It saw me get out of town, leaving Phoenix, after ten years. Prescott, once more, became Home Base.

It saw our son, Aram, follow in the footsteps of many of his forebears, on both sides of the family and enter the service of his country, serving in the United States Navy, for nine years.

It saw him enter into matrimony. Having returned to Korea, the land of his birth, as part of his service, Aram met and married Yunhee, a superlative addition to our family.

It saw us honour two of my nieces, who preceded him down the aisle, also bringing spouses who add luster to the Boivin brood.

It was a time of growth.

It brought in fourteen new members of my Grandniece/nephew Club and some new additions to my Greater Tribe.

There were a couple of good years, working full time, at Prescott High School, and several others spent substitute teaching.

The decade brought me the joy of giving back- with the American Red Cross, Slow Food, school garden projects, and the Farmers’ Market, as well as American Legion Post 6 and the Baha’i community. It has brought me many new friends, members of my Tribe, who consistently make this life a thing of beauty.

Then, there were those journeys- annually to see family, on the East Coast, in the South and in the Midwest, which is never “Flyover Country” to me; my first solo visit to Europe, partly on my father-in-law’s behalf and partly because I wanted to connect with the lands of my ancestors; I returned to Korea, to fully embrace my son’s wedding and to recap our life in Jeju; Hawaii welcomed me, in advance of the Tiger Cruise from Honolulu to San Diego, as Aram & crew returned from a Pacific Rim deployment; I fulfilled some of the dreams I shared with Penny, and explored the Pacific Northwest, a bit of British Columbia; southeast Alaska and eastern Canada; California, Nevada, Texas and Colorado were constantly seeing my face-largely to spend time with far-flung members of my Tribe. Shorter, but no less meaningful, jaunts around Arizona, Utah and New Mexico filled in the blanks.

Now, the sun has risen on a new decade, for much of the world and the year, which once loomed as a pinnacle in my life, has a remaining shelf life of nine hours, here in the Mountain Standard Time Zone.

This decade of joy, sorrow, gain, loss, advances and setbacks will soon give way to another, likely much more of each. Happy 2020, one and all!

2010-19: How I’ve Changed

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on December 30, 2019 in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 30, 2019-

It’s said that nothing in the Universe remains static for long. Even inanimate objects experience molecular change. Of course, it’s been a while since I’ve been likened to a piece of furniture, and the blessed soul who made that comparison is himself long departed from our midst.

The decade now ending has been, in many ways, the most seismic in my life, since the 1980’s. In that decade, the changes were commensurate with full adulthood: Finding spiritual footing, courting and marriage, solidifying of a career, loss of a parent, and my own parenthood.

The changes that have come in the 2010s have been more in keeping with true maturity. I’m not altogether there yet. Few of us ever are. The process has been in fits and starts, and suitably so, as everyone’s late middle age is unique.

So:

Losing a spouse– This was a long haul, and arguably something about which Penny warned me, several times throughout our wedlock.. It was the culmination of a lifelong, hereditary disease, that had come for a reckoning. It made me responsible for the care of a vulnerable adult, at a time when a burgeoning adult needed us both. There was always a balance to be struck. The biggest lesson in this, was that never again could I indulge in the slightest amount of self-pity. Buus Huus, the imaginary Roman patron of the woebegone, had taken his flight.

Altering my sense of community– I left Phoenix, after ten years, being alternately comforted in my sorrow and admonished about abandoning my duty to the community. I found the latter ironic, as the West, especially in its urban and suburban contexts, has relied, to a great extent on the safety to be found in maintaining anonymity, in entering and exiting one’s residence, through the garage and inside a vehicle.

Prescott became my community, but it was, and is, more Home Base than castle. I have dear friends here, who are never far from my mind. Yet, the closest of them, even my best friend, know and accept that I have concern with people far afield. Part of this is my Sagittarian being, part is boundless love.

Connecting with people– It’s become far easier for my mildly Asperger’s/autistic self to reach out to those not previously known to me, and to engage in meaningful conversation. That has made both quotidian life and novel experiences more meaningful. Largely gone is the concern with rejection.

Shedding long-held shackles– Subconscious and self-limiting views onto which I held, about women, people of colour and just about anyone different from me, have fallen away. I’ve long known that overarching prejudice is wrong and have managed my behaviour accordingly. In 2014, I was reproached regarding the residual bias, the microprejudices which, in retrospect, were continuing to cause difficulties in life. Things like subtly expecting less of someone, because of gender, ethnicity or physical status constitute a forest that is hard to see for its trees-until someone comes along and blows the wake-up dog whistle. Now, it is not possible for me to regard anyone solely on anything other than his or her merits.

Finally, self-acceptance– With all of these other changes comes a view of myself as fully worthy of taking my place in society. There are few people, in Prescott and elsewhere, who choose to show me disrespect, and I know to disengage myself from such people, unless and until they change their attitudes. Fall, 2018 was a litmus test of that practice, and was the first time, in many years, that I totally blocked someone from my life. The roof didn’t cave and life has proceeded just fine.

The changes that accompanied this decade are sure to have import for the years to come. It’ll be fascinating to live.

Schisms and -isms

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on December 12, 2019 in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 12, 2019-

A participant in a recent Baha’i Studies Conference, in Ottawa, Ontario, made the case for a movement she called “womanism”. The gist of this movement’s philosophy is similar to to the campaign message of the American politician, Tulsi Gabbard: Bring forward a true ethic of inclusion; the practice of not shutting anyone out, on the basis of their stated beliefs. The premise here is inclusion, not opposition.

I favour such a movement, as I believe that everyone has a grain of truth to bring to the table. That does not mean that someone who regards others as inferior should remain unchallenged in her/his pronouncements and certainly, actions that take away someone else’s rights or extinguish viewpoints, contrary to what one believes, are to be seen as counterproductive. Repressed thoughts and opinions will never disappear. They may even return, with a vengeance, in the form of counter-revolution.

It also does not sanction violence against one’s philosophical opponents, if for no other reason than to preclude their being seen as martyrs. I much prefer to maintain appropriate dialogue, with its inherent boundaries, than to shut a person out in perpetuity. Again, I draw the line at those who threaten violence or demand that I “toe the line.”

Many movements end their names with the suffix, “-ism”. To wit, besides the above-mentioned womanism, we have “feminism”, “Islamism”, “supremacism” and the more conventional nationalism and sectarianism. Such -isms, especially the last four mentioned, seem to lead to schism. The founders of such movements may, or may not, have envisioned such divides, and thus incorporated them in their planning. Nonetheless, any time one sets out to make a difference, if there is a pre-conceived Other, there is a potential schism. Even a term as seemingly benign as non- (insert your identity group), is inherently creating a division in society.

It’s time to seriously work on abandoning the concept of “Other.” Our self-concepts do not need it, in order to appreciate our uniqueness.

Staying On Track

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on December 8, 2019 in Community, distraction issues, Family, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Striving

December 8, 2019, Scottsdale-

There was a lot on my plate today.

One item was taken off, temporarily,

as a gift expo was postponed,

due to illness.

It was, mercifully, a short-lived

emergency for a family of friends.

I headed down to Scottsdale, and

attended a Human Rights Day gathering.

This event commemorates the signing

of the Universal Declaration of the Rights of Man, in 1948.

My daughter-in-law arrived, on schedule,

at Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport.

Amazed at the size of the place, she nonetheless had

little trouble finding her way to Baggage Claim,

and we were at the hotel,

in short order.

Staying on track

never used to be my strong suit.

Now, however, I feel that

my guides are with me,

and the inner calendar

is well-oiled.

It also helps

to be responsible for family.

A Bit About Happiness

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on December 4, 2019 in collaborating, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Spiritual, Striving

December 4, 2019-

Yesterday, whilst enjoying a bowl of soup and slice of avocado toast, I was amused by a little girl running gingerly back and forth, from her father’s table to a small shelf that had toys and books. Her happiness flowed outward-and was contagious.

There is some “back and forth”, on sites like Quora and other online places, as to the part that happiness plays in one’s life. There are those who maintain that happiness is a goal, or rather, THE goal, of a person’s life. Others say “No, it is triumph over suffering, that is THE goal of this life.”

I maintain that happiness is a baseline, not a goal, of life. ‘Abdu’l-Baha would ask people “Are you happy? If you are not happy today, for what day do you wait?” Think of the dreariest of mornings-perhaps in the dark of winter, or on an early spring day, with cold drizzle and snow remnants, blackened by soot. Chances are, you won’t know of this state of affairs until you get out of bed. So, it is the mood that accompanies a person, when she or he awakes and gets up, which sets the tone. The outward dreariness does not have to define one’s life.

Of course, physical ailments have much to do with the mood of the day, as well. So do social circumstances. These, however, do not have to circumvent basic happiness. I think of my late wife, bedridden for most of her final year in this life. Even when she was conveying her thoughts about her condition, her decline, there was an air of contentment, that she felt caring and love coming her way-this, from a base of happiness.

There is a common theme, in many of the world’s Constitutions, that the pursuit of happiness is an inherent right of every human being. Happiness, though, is already latent within us. It is obvious, in the eyes of an infant, or the joyful run of a toddler, that the state of being happy exists from the inside out. It is much like love-and actually flows out from the love that also is basic to our existence.

Love brought us into being, sustains us through ordeals and is with us, in the end. Happiness, whether from quotidian events or from grand experiences, is also enduringly present, if one chooses to recognize its presence.

The goal of life? To me, that is developing one’s strengths, positive attributes, to the greatest of one’s ability.

A Few Rules for Self

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on November 26, 2019 in distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal goals, Personal Values, Striving

November 25, 2019-

I made it an enjoyable day, by setting a few rules for myself, a few days in advance of turning sixty-nine. The more one takes care of self, the less likely it is that others can slip into the vacuum and divert attention from what matters.

I found myself trying to help another person, yesterday afternoon, and only ended up feeling like I was about to tear out what’s left of my hair. That’s not a direction in which I plan on heading again.

The first rule I have set for myself, therefore, is to limit my time on any one online discourse to twenty minutes, per day, maximum. I will make exceptions for my immediate family. Time is far better spent, at least in my view, by doing things like walking, tending to my home, cooking and reading.

The second rule is to read at least an hour each day. I got away from that practice, a few years back and found it most rewarding to return to the printed page today.

The third rule is to not procrastinate about doing a task, just because it is novel to me. Specifically, I have a new water system, involving a complicated piece of equipment. Fortunately, there is a DVD that is likely to guide me through the process, certainly more than the confusing paper diagram. I am one of those who doesn’t easily comprehend the tie between a piece of equipment and a wordless diagram. It’ll get done, though.

It’s been a fine day, though. I received my new driver’s license, good for another five years, and a document needed by a family member also arrived. Thanksgiving plans appear set, and the last few days of being 68 look to be spent in fine weather, albeit rather windy weather.

The True Standard

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on November 5, 2019 in collaborating, distraction issues, impediments, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Striving

November 5, 2019-

Returning to Jordan Peterson’s “Twelve Rules for Life”, #4 states “Compare Your Present Self Only to Your Past Self, not to Anyone Else.”

As social animals, we so often give other human beings far too much credit, for perfection or superiority. I’ve heard from so many: “It’s cold and lonely, on the pedestal.”

So, I have made it my business to measure my progress, compared to where I was-six months ago, twenty, thirty or forty years ago. Then (1970), I hid from my peers. Now, I am in the world, but not of it. Then (1977), I found solace in the bottle. Now, I find peace and tranquility in service, in meditation and in standing up for the downtrodden. Then (1982), I handed out money on demand. Now, I contribute reasonably, without caving in to every demanding voice or thrust-out hand. Then (1981), I viewed different people with different lenses. Now, every human being is seen in the light of their character. Then, (1954-1986), I looked upon myself as essentially unworthy of love, as damaged goods. Now, I am proud of what I have achieved, no matter what others might view as inadequate. Then, (until 2010), I saw myself as a frequent victim of “politicians”, “the Elite”, “the Establishment”. Now, I see those in positions of power as basically living out their own life plan, without seeing myself as a pawn on their chessboard. Then, (prior to 2012), I had no idea why I behaved atypically, so often. Now, I know I have a place on the Autism/Asperger’s spectrum-and that’s okay.

The only true standard we have is our own life.