The Road to 65, Mile 74: Reversing Course and Meeting Butterflies

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on February 12, 2015 in Personal goals, Social, Travel

February 10, 2015, Gainesville, FL-This has been one of those days when I am reminded that deeds done by others, with the best of intentions, can backfire and take innocent people down with them. It just makes me weigh my own words and deeds that much more carefully. In a nutshell, my mother-in-law said she didn’t want any visitors, including me.

I was ten miles away, at that point, and so turned around, in south Ocala, feeling quite calm, actually. I think my angel was carrying me through the rest of the day. I had two confirmations: One was stopping at Jim’s BBQ Pit, in Reddick, just north of Ocala. A bubbly, very pretty young lady served me as if she were serving her father, or a favourite uncle. The food was comfort, also: Smoked chicken, barbecued beans and slaw, with a fabulous house barbecue sauce.

The second stop of the afternoon was Florida Museum of Natural History, on the campus of the University of Florida, at Gainesville. The institution traces the state’s varied conditions and changes, focusing on the Pleistocene and on some of the Indigenous peoples, who pre-dated the Seminole and were ancestors of the Miccosukee. The icing on the cake, for me this afternoon, was the Butterfly Rain Forest.

The Pleistocene exhibit’s star is the Colombian mammoth skeleton. Colombian mammoths ranged south of their woolly cousins, and had finer hair.

A Mastodon was featured next to the shovel-tusker, for comparison. Mastodons ranged in north Florida, as well.

A family of Paleo-Indians was shown in the next hall. Florida’s indigenous people had a very rich culture and system of governance, well before Europeans arrived here. The Apalachee, of the northwest, and the Calusa, of the southwest, were powerful, savvy and industrious people, pre-dating the great council-oriented Creeks, who became Seminoles, once they came down to Florida, with the British, in the 1700’s.

My attention was spotty at this point, so while I read and absorbed some of the remaining information about the Native Peoples, I needed nature. So, off to the Butterfly Rain Forest it was. The following pictures, presented without comment, represent a cross-section of the Lapidoptera and their surroundings. See how many butterflies you can spot.

Butterflies are vital, in a variety of ways. There is some attention here to Monarchs, but also to Swallowtails and Blues. I recommend this to all residents and visitors to the Gainesville-Ocala area. After such a rejuvenating afternoon, I headed north and spent a restful night in Bainbridge, GA, north of Tallahassee. Glen Oaks Motel and a salad from Zaxby’s, served by another pretty, congenial young lady, capped the day. Actually, a Zalad can make three meals, for someone like me.

The Road to 65, Mile 70: Seeds for Future Fruits

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on February 7, 2015 in Personal goals, Travel

February 6, 2015, El Paso- Day One of my present journey started with a round of prayers, at the home of my steadfast morning devotions partner. Getting my car’s tires rotated and balanced was the next order of business, along with a “Cheater’s Breakfast” of cinnamon crumb Bear Claw and coffee. No apologies to the Diet Police are in order.

I set out around 11:30, headed through my oft-trod route of I-17, AZ 101 and US 60, past the Valley of the Sun, the Superstition Mountains, and across eastern Arizona and southern New Mexico. There were few stops, as my late start dictated making tracks. Dinner was healthy, grilled cod and lightly steamed mixed vegetables at Kranberry’s, the best restaurant in Lordsburg, NM. The day ended with a gorgeous 3/4 moon, rising over Las Cruces, as I made one last stop at the Rest Area,just west of town. Then, El Paso came into view, thirty minutes later and I settled into this comfortable Red Roof Inn.

I have not taken photos of the intervening locales, as they will be subjects of weekend excursions between this March and December, 2016. The delights are many: More of the Superstitions; Superior and Boyce Thompson Arboretum; Globe and Miami; San Carlos Apache Community; the flats of Graham County and their eponymous mountain; the Duncan Valley and, to its north, the Graham-Greenlee Trail, roughly between Safford and Clifton. Then, too, there remain a return to Silver City and Gila Cliff Dwellings, a possible astronomy weekend, somewhere outside Lordsburg, and a few hours in the Deming area.

See how this whole road trip thing is a series of Chinese boxes, or Katuschka dolls? Well, the missions are always manifold- Prayers, spiritual conversations, and educating about oils are parts of any journey, beyond just seeing things and taking photos. So, I will head on over to breakfast, as it’s already Saturday morning- and bring my supplements with me. Health is a fine conversation starter.

The Road to 65, Mile 67: Deferred Attention

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on February 6, 2015 in Personal goals, Social

February 3, 2015, Prescott- Television stayed off today. I did not go to morning prayers, nor did I even get out of bed until 10 AM. Of course, getting home at 3:30 AM had everything to do with that. My respite at home will be brief. Some here in Prescott will wonder, again, why on Earth I even bother coming back here. There were three key elements at play: I took part in the commemoration of the deaths of four Navy Chaplains, in the sinking of the USS Dorchester, off the coast of Greenland,on February 3, 1943. This is an emotional time for those who served in World War II, and many who served later, in the Korean Conflict. It is significant in that four noncombatants gave the ultimate sacrifice, choosing to die, alongside 653 others, rather than mount a lifeboat. They set their own hopes and dreams aside.

The other two tasks that need doing here are left for tomorrow and Thursday. They involve quality attention to dear friends. So here is a key aspect of the changes that became apparent to me, as I drove home last night: I am leaving isolation behind. That’s the scary part, but it’s also the satisfying element. When I focus on a person, or a task, I am all in. It may not suit the people who are on the sidelines, and have to wait until a later time for me to attend to THEIR needs, but that attention is only deferred, not cast aside.

I am also getting better at deferring, not casting aside, my own needs for rest and rejuventation. So, I got up at 10, not 6 or 7. Early rising will return tomorrow.

The Road to 65, Mile 66: Totems

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on February 5, 2015 in Personal goals, Social

February 2, 2015, Prescott- From the time I was small, there has been something about bears that has set in my heart, far beyond the Teddy Bear connection that has led some to dismiss that fascination. I have learned that my Penobscot ancestors regarded the bear as a sacred being, as many Indigenous Americans do. So, it was a particular honour when a longtime friend gave me an eagle feather, my name slightly misspelled, and with four bears lovingly placed along the bottom edge.

It sits now, at the edge of a heart, created by my wife, from mesquite sticks around 2002. That was a symbol of all we had, and its ruggedness foreshadowed what we were to endure. The eagle and the bears are symbols of keenness and strength, two qualities which I’ve known, erratically, most of my life. During all her suffering, though, I could not let go of either quality.

Now, I’m coming into another phase of my life, its specifics still unclear, but in which sharpness of mind and strength of character will need to flow, uninterrupted. It will entail a lot of flexibility, energy-wise and time-wise, and could very well include going back to work full time, though that is a matter now in the hands of others. The totems will impart a certain energy to the process. Stay tuned.

The Road to 65, Mile 60: A Father and His Daughters

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on January 29, 2015 in Personal goals

January 27, 2015, Prescott- Pop would have been 91 today. That he made it to 90 years, 4 months and 10 days, before returning to the Spirit Realm, last year, was the prime force of his indomitable will. He showed his Nazi captors, various other bullies throughout his life, and all of us who came to be his trusted circle of family and friends just how adversity ought to be handled.

The Universe gave that man’s man three girls to raise. He gave that task his all, as any father worthy of the name, would have. All three, two of whom are twins, were unique individuals, and Pop played to their strengths, challenged their weaknesses and gave them a secure framework for growing into women of achievement. His eldest, my late wife, Penny, achieved three Master’s Degrees, a thirty-year career as a classroom teacher and showed her own triumph in dealing with a lifelong illness, which only brought her down after she had made her mark and touched the lives of hundreds of young people, across the globe. Her sisters have worked hard and proven themselves indispensable in their respective businesses- which have run the gamut from telecommunications to equestrian training.

Horses were, in fact, central to the Fellman family’s life. Riding, both English and Western, was a family trademark, and was one of the endeavours that brought Norm back from his end-of-war near-death status. That, and the equally indomitable will of his wife of 65 years, gave him the lease on life that made his influence on so many of us, such a force of nature. He was a pilot and a motorcyclist, which the ladies respectfully declined to take up for themselves. Horses, dogs and cats, though, remain essential- and Pop was never without at least one of the three within calling distance. He imparted that love of animals to his daughters, and none of their houses have been without pets.

Men are indispensable to their girls. Both parents are indispensable to all of their children. I never had the honour of raising a daughter, but as a proud parent of a an American sailor, I would be fully engaged in the lives of any grandchildren he may sire, in the future. Norman David Fellman set that mold, both as a father and grandfather. His pride in each of his girls was infectious, in the best of ways. The mold will not be broken.

The Road to 65, Mile 55: Challenges

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on January 23, 2015 in Hiking and Nature, Personal goals, Social, Travel

January 22, 2015, Prescott- I got a call at 5:38 AM, got out of bed, fumbled with the phone, hit the wrong button, and ended up with no work today. It always goes the way it is supposed to go, though. While I won’t earn money from today’s activities, I did reassure a transient friend that he has allies in this community, got him where he needed to go, and spent some time with a friend in Prescott Valley, at a restaurant on the north side of the sprawling town. The place is called The Chalk Board. It’s a breakfast and lunch spot and has an inventive, well-prepared menu- like Soldi, here on the hilltop. Several of us will probably gather there on Saturday morning, for breakfast. I want to look for the trailhead where I left off of the Black Canyon Trail, last Spring, so a hearty breakfast, en route, will be a great start.

Slow days like this are a good time to look at challenges that lie ahead. So, between now and the end of May, I have these:

Work- The full-time job will happen, if it’s meant to, by the end of February. Otherwise, I will show up at every charter school in Prescott and Chino Valley, give them each a copy of my sub certificate, focus on building my Essential Oils business (which I’ll do, anyway) and sock money away.

Service- I am with the Red Cross as a volunteer, regardless. American Legion? My continuing there, past May, will depend on the political climate. Right now, it looks iffy. Prescott Family Shelter is on my volunteer radar screen, also, unless I get full-time work.

Recreation and Travel- Colorado, next weekend, is my most immediate focus- for a Winter Summit. Texas, the Gulf Coast and central Florida follow, from Feb. 6-17. My MIL has a birthday during that time, in Leesburg. Weekend hikes will be many, from mid-February until late May: Continuing down the Black Canyon, McDowell Mountains’ Pemberton Trail(Scottsdale), Spur Cross Ranch (Cave Creek),Kendrick Peak (west of Flagstaff), Tucson’s Sahuaro National Park-West Unit, a few more places in Sedona and the rest of Tonto Natural Bridge State Park’s trails. Then, there are the hikes I will no doubt take, on the spur of the moment.

Faith- Baha’i, like random acts of service, makes up the built-in cabinets and shelving of my Life House. My growth, and that of the community, will continue in tandem with all of the above.

These may seem like trifling challenges, and they are. Then again, I’m autistic. Everything is a challenge.

The Road to 65, Mile 52: Service

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on January 20, 2015 in Personal goals, Social

January 19, 2015, Prescott- This morning was taken up with a short march from Prescott College, to a circumambulation of the Yavapai County Courthouse, then to a nearby Methodist Church. At the church, there were bagels (“California-style”, which means untoasted), cream cheese and assorted fruit, with choice of hot beverages. We then enjoyed a fine performance by the St. Luke’s Ebony Christian Church Choir, from Prescott Valley, and an address by their pastor, Reverend Michael Cannon. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr’s brief life of intense public service is the impetus for this day being held up as a National Day of Service, and Mr. Cannon’s admonition was for each of us to examine our own commitments. He himself sounds like a man who lives each day in such commitment, judging from the accounts of others.

I have committed myself to acts of service to others, for some time. Many of these are part of an organized effort. Others are spontaneous and random, as a given day unfolds. I don’t really see myself as selfish; nor as a hero. Day by day, each of us can serve others, from the unsung acts of a dedicated parent, or caregiver, to the First Responder working to bring peace to a disastrous scenario.

There is one thing about service, though, that needs to be borne in mind. It cannot be forced, nor can it be smudged by those who impose the pain of guilt on others. Last night, several of us were given an indirect message that we were not doing enough to ease the plight of the homeless, and of a few shut-ins who live in a nearby community. My reaction is, there is always more to be done, in a suffering world. It cannot, however, be imposed upon us from the masters of guilt. I trust that everyone who has good in their hearts will work, in some way, to relieve the suffering of those around them. So it shall ever be.

The Road to 65, Mile 51: Real Friendship

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on January 19, 2015 in Personal goals, Social

January 18, 2015, Prescott- The question came up, earlier today, about energy flows and what they might have to do with who is attracted to whom. Throughout life, I have found myself inexplicably drawn to people, of various ages, and all types, for no outward reason. The same has happened with people being drawn to me.

Most of these encounters tend to run their course, and many of these people I see once, twice or a few times, and then not again, for a long time, if ever. Yet, I never forget them. There are others who have gone on, and with whom I still communicate, in thought waves and in visions. This is especially true with my late wife.

There are maybe two dozen people alive today, who are indelible in my life, and with whom I enjoy a robust and mutually supportive friendship. Perhaps five or six, I have never met, in real time. Another ten or so, I’ve met, face-to-face and spent a day or two with them, here and there. Others are a regular, almost daily, part of my world, both on-and offline.

Real friendship does not depend on physical presence, on lock-step agreement or on identical world-view. It does depend on mutual respect, regard and willingness to fully entertain and learn from the other’s point of view, It also depends on a passionate commitment to the friend’s best interests, as well as to one’s own. Forbearance is frequently essential, for who among us is 100% in sync with any other person? True friends are there at the end of a bout of pain-fueled rage; there, as a period of confusion and foolishness ensues; there, in happy times and in their opposites. A true friend sees the real person shining through, regardless of occasional lapses.

There will not be a time when I don’t treasure my real friends.

The Road to 65, Mile 50: “You Are Not Alone”

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on January 18, 2015 in Personal goals, Social

January 17, 2015, Prescott- Since I was small, I could not envision forcing anyone into a solitary existence. Pariah-hood does not become us, though there are some who need a period of isolation from those they hurt or deceive. I thought a lot about these sorts of issues, over the past couple of days. Like anyone else, I can get caught up in emotionally-charged issues, and come down on one side or another. When the issue is properly resolved, though, all parties are clear with one another and there is either compromise, or full resolution.

If we look upon those who oppose us or try to force our hand, it’s easy to wage war on a personal level. In the quiet of the night, or the ensuing early morning, though, personal war rings hollow. I’ve had a few conflicts, of late, one of which is at least at the live-and-let-live stage; another, which occurred this afternoon, was resolved by both of us learning what we did wrong and taking the right lesson going forward. A good friend has been there for me, to help in processing what is right by everyone, and in reminding me of how not to handle an issue.

I spent this evening at Planet Fitness, then by watching “Into The Woods”. I will admit it, I am a schmaltzy sort, when watching sad parts of a film, even when the sadness is punctuated by hokeyness. I laughed when a little girl in the audience mockingly joined in, when the two princes (Chris Pine and Billy Magnussen) offered a full-on rendition of “Agony”, complete with ripping their shirts open. Tears formed though, when the Baker’s Wife was reported dead and their baby cried.

The Baker and Cinderella reassure the orphaned Jack the Giant Killer and Red Riding Hood that they were not alone, a theme song that reverberated throughout the musical, and serves as its saving grace. I thought more about that, also. No isolation need be forever; no loss need go unreplenished. Any obstacle can be faced by people, of all ages and backgrounds, and both genders, forming a united front. This is all too easy to forget, when our individual personas clash with others.

I am coming up, in another 1 1/2 months, on the fourth anniversary of my wife’s passing. Losses differ, in type, in circumstance and in aftermath, and no one loss is greater than another, except for a parent losing a child. The common thread in all, though, is superbly laid out by Stephen Sondheim: “You are not alone”. I’m not, and neither are you, no matter how it may seem in the dark night, the early morning, or any time in between. To everyone reading this: Speak, be heard, but also be willing to listen. You matter.