Category Archives: Personal Values

Middle of the Road

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 6, 2023- The tall, disheveled man made his way down the middle of the through lane, as I was driving from Zeke’s Eatin’ Place to Office Max. He was moving slowly, as if he was figuring out his next steps as he went along. I was able to get around him, safely, and proceeded to take care of my shredding errand.

The little incident brought to mind a trope from 2020: “If you stand for nothing, you’ll fall for anything.” Obviously, the man mentioned above was standing for something-his perceived right to walk his own path. My mind wandered over to the spectacle of the election of a Speaker of the House of Representatives, which in times past has been a snoozefest. There was a time when the certification of electoral votes for President was also a cure for insomnia. Watching golf on TV was like storm chasing, by comparison. Now, where one stands on these issues can make or break friendships.

“Question Authority” was the watchphrase of the 1960s and ’70s, making a comeback in 2001, and even more so since 2016. Now, I am not exactly middle of the road, when it comes to the Rights of the Human. People deserve to be raised to make their own decisions, weighing consequences and accepting responsibilities, in an age-appropriate manner. They deserve to be able to speak their peace. Women deserve to walk beside men, not behind us.

There are certain beliefs that fit both Right and Left: Legislation should be specific, and relatively simple; the people’s money should be spent in a conscientious, prudent manner; respect for others should not depend on their position in society. There is tradition that is worthy of conservation; the same principle goes for nature, and the resources it provides. Colour, creed and national origin should not determine how a person is able to participate in society and its affairs.

The man mentioned above was able to complete his walkabout, going into the store of his choice and thus leaving the middle of the road. Each of us must do the same, in our own journeys of thought and action.

Treasure Vases

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 5, 2023- The prayers went up, the meditation was focused and the didgeridoo sounded, long and with urgency-in the mournful way that only a “didge” can sound.

An Earth Treasure Vase can be placed anywhere, and many have, over the past several years. The focus is on setting peaceful energy in a given space, on fostering both resilience and a renewed spirit of co-operation, across all manner of divides.

It strikes me as less than coincidental, that a 36-hour truce has been called, between Russia and Ukraine, ostensibly for the Eastern Orthodox Christmas holiday. Fatigue, on both sides, is surely a factor, as much as the holiday itself and the energy set forth by gatherings such as this. There are thousands of such meetings, large and small, in-person and online, as we the people, globally, are increasingly sick and tired of conflict-and are seeking ways to move past its root causes.

There are Earth Treasure Vases placed in Utqiagvik, AK; Antarctica; Argentine Patagonia; southern Sweden; the Outer Hebrides; the Swiss Alps; the Bay Area; northwest Australia; in the waters off the Trobriand Islands of Papua-New Guinea; in the mountains above Fukushima; South Island, NZ; New York City; the Flint Hills, KS; Liberia; Palestine; Hiroshima; various points in New Mexico (where the first Treasure Vase was placed) and the Demilitarized Zone of Korea-among dozens of places, worldwide. More will be dedicated and stewarded to other places across the globe.

Concrete action, of course, will be the only real guarantor of peace on Earth, yet let us remember that action rises from radiant energy.

Not Damaged Goods

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Poetry, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 4, 2023- I watched a program this afternoon, about a young woman whose parents had lied to her, regarding the nature of her sexual abuse. Confused and ashamed, she saw herself as damaged goods. In truth, there is no such thing.

I think of others, in real life.

You, my friend of twenty years, not one of romantic interest, but one of indomitable, unmatched spirit. You are not damaged goods.

You, who sleep out of doors, as society has thrown its curve balls your way, and police stop you, wanting to know your every move and why you make it. Your education and skills are invaluable . You are not damaged goods.

You, hounded by adults, who have already determined what they judge to be your future, when they know nothing about you, will survive and prosper. You are not damaged goods.

You, who shudder in whatever corner you can find, and cry yourself to sleep, when your captors allow you to rest, will be free one day, and will realize you are not damaged goods.

You , who hide from anyone outside your circle, because you never really learned to trust, and thus are protecting your own children from perceived danger, on your small plot of land. You are not damaged goods.

I know this, because for so long I had a hard time understanding and accepting, that I am not damaged goods.

Rise up, stand up, for you are valuable and you are loved.

Mind and Spirit, 2023

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

January 3, 2023– I spent three hours or so, this afternoon, watching the film, Babylon, which deals with the experiences of four main characters, who are all linked by way of the debauchery of early Hollywood and the transition from silent film to “talkies”. It has a long time span, stretching from 1926 to 1952, and by the time one of the main characters dispatches his listless wife and daughter back to their hotel, choosing to himself take in Gene Kelly’s “Singing In The Rain” in a crowded cinema, his head is spinning from the memories that one film generates-as he had had a hand in trying to promote a talkie that featured the title song, in the early Thirties.

Babylon does not skimp on details of the Bohemian culture of the Roaring Twenties, nor on the hardheaded business culture that funded the fun and games-especially the drug trade which, then as now, was the means to mindlessness. With that I was again mindful that, in every age, each human soul must choose whether to follow the promptings of the body or to center thoughts and actions on the guidance of the Spirit, a guidance based in genuine love.

A few days ago, a correspondent asked of my goals for spiritual and intellectual growth for this Gregorian year. Three main goals, in each area, come to mind.

Spiritually, I will first continue attending and facilitating study circles that focus on personal and community development, based on Baha’i principles. My second goal is to maintain and extend spiritual ties to those in my personal network. Thirdly, I will continue and expand studies of Baha’i and older Scriptural writings.

Intellectually, my first goal is to actively read each day, outside of Scriptural study. My current pile of books consists of :”The Lost World of the Old Ones”, a study of southwest anthropology by David Roberts; “Prairie Erth”, William Least Heat Moon’s lengthy study of life in Chase County, Kansas; “John Adams”, by David McCullough. As I finish each book, another is added to the pile-and immediately waiting are “EcoVillages”, by Karen Litfin; “The Four Agreements”, by Alberto Villoldo; and a re-reading of “The Fifth Sacred Thing”, by Star Hawk.

Secondly, increasing the quality of my dialogues and other conversations with those in my network is a key goal. I recall the tiredness implied in the 1980s book “What Do You Say, After You Say Hello”, and how I bought into the notion that, particularly in interactions between males and females, there is a short leash of sorts which, Eric Berne rightly pointed out, deserves to be severed and a saner appeal to wider shared interests and explorations be the modus operandi in its place. One of my greatest regrets is letting that one-dimensional outlook guide me in my teens and twenties-and re-emerge, in a sense, after Penny’s death. Thankfully, my present network of friends is way past that mentality.

Thirdly, I will focus more, in my activities both here and further afield, taking more interest in intellectual community events, in this area, and spending more time in selected places, when on the road. I am reading, in this month’s National Geographic Magazine, that increasing the quality of intellectual activity does have a positive effect on limiting, even counteracting, dementia and other cerebral impairments.

As with other aspects of my life, specifics will ensue, as the year rolls on. It’ll be a rich one, for sure.

The How and The Who

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, distraction issues, impediments, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Striving, Travel

January 2, 2023- Every year, I go through what lies ahead-the What, the Where and usually the Why. This all ends up with kudos from the devoted dozen and yawns from the masses-as is to be expected, in a world of Information Overload. The fun is always in the actual doing.

I am feeling a change in energy, both the wider Field and within myself. It may be my age catching up, or an actual effect of the particular Universal Year, that cosmologists present to us. This is a 7-Universal Year, featuring the concept of Deep Soul Reflection. I do sense more of that, than I did even a few days ago, when Feminine Energy was still in effect, for those who noted that 2022 was a 6-Universal Year, and feminine action was front and center.

This effects how I go about doing things. There is to be more doing things in groups, which happened on occasion in 2022, especially on New Year’s Eve. I will, for certain this time, use more public transportation, in going across country- late April and early to mid-May, to the Pacific Northwest, BC and Alaska and September, to the Midwest and East Coast. Here in the Southwest, getting back to the Convergence mentality is in order. The energy I still feel is a connection to those who like to celebrate life, rather than passively observe. There will, no doubt, be plenty of time for the latter, in years yet to come.

Finally, the who is involved will be totally up to them. I am done pursuing those who need privacy or are otherwise unavailable. No one is being cut out of my life, who hasn’t already been, yet we each have dignity and I am not giving up mine, in a vain attempt to placate others. Family and friends are abundant in my life, so there’s no need for me to be clingy.

The year is sure to bring spiritual and intellectual growth. A friend asked, a few days ago, about my plans in those areas. More on that, tomorrow.

And So It’s Organic…..

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

January 1, 2023- Fifteen of us celebrated the exit of another year, dining in relatively simple, but fine style, at a small, well-functioning Steak House, known as Dry Gulch on the northwest side of Prescott. I have celebrated my birthday there, in times past, when Penny and family were here to join in my passage of another trip around the Sun. Tales of a fellow diner’s climbs on Denali Peak and Cerro Aconcagua-and aborted attempts to get a climbing permit for the sixth highest mountain in the world (in the Tibetan Himalaya, no less) highlighted the general banter of people who I was, except for hiking buddy, Akuura, meeting for the first time.

With the meal finished, a bit after 10 p.m., a few of us headed towards downtown-the idea being to take in at least a bit of the festivities leading up to the Boot Drop-Prescott’s paean to Times Square’s ball. I ended up being the only one who actually made it to Courthouse Plaza, and Whiskey Row- and then, only for about forty minutes, enough time to bounce a bit, on the sidelines of the outdoor mosh pit that had formed in front of the performance stage and to enjoy the customary hot chocolate that has become a NYE tradition. A friend on Instagram posted “Sag-Somehow ends up with the most kisses”; not this Sagitarrian. Age and anonymity, as well as not staying for the actual Boot Drop, had a lot to do with that, no doubt. I went back to Home Base and ended up watching the Midnight Fireworks from my front patio.

Today brought early rain, then snow, which is still falling and which convinced me to be content with having had breakfast with fellow veterans and with getting my laundry done. The movie I’d planned to watch, at the local Picture Show Cinema, this evening, will wait until Tuesday’s matinee. There is plenty to read and to watch, here in my comfy abode. There is also the matter of “What’s next in SS world?”

That is where the organic nature of 2023 comes in. I have heard that this is a year for introspection, as opposed to frenetic expenditure of energy. Alaska, as well as Sedona and Bisbee, is a place where I have been given to such introspection and I have received opaque messages that a visit there, via the Northwest, is imminent-most likely late April to mid-May. I have a teen whom I am sponsoring through a child-centered agency. Visiting with him, in his country, is a possibility for October. In that case, I would also seek to spend time in one or two nearby countries. So far, though, the pull is strongest, here in the Southwest, with time gradually being set aside for various points elsewhere in Arizona, and New Mexico, over the next four months.

In this moment, the snow is increasing in intensity, so I am gladly sitting in my front room for the rest of the evening. Life is unfolding in an organic manner.

Things I’ve Learned

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Family, Hiking and Nature, Historical, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

December 31, 2022– As another Gregorian calendar year heads to the history books and memory n, what is most important, for an individual, are the lessons brought forward over the twelve months now past.

So, here are twelve things I’ve learned, some cogent, others banal-but all useful.

January- The border between the United States and Mexico is neither as chaotic as politicians away the border claim it is nor as smoothly functioning as it might be. I saw many content, focused people at the station in Douglas, AZ and no evidence of hordes of people sneaking through, at Coronado National Monument, a rural station, south of Sierra Vista.

February- Human beings, regardless of how they come to identify themselves, deserve the respect of those around them-and a keen listening ear. Losing someone who has not been completely understood by some of those around her was both unsettling and cautionary. Rest in Peace, Salem Hand.

March- Most of Man’s inhumanity to Man stems from insecurity. Andersonville showed the historical proof of that, both through its physical remnants and through the exhibits on Prisoners-of-War, both within this country and around the world. A more benign case occurred, in Miami Beach, stemming from a middle-aged man, having designs upon much younger women and threatening violence when I cautioned them about one aspect of his proposal.

April- There is no foolproof means of transport. Taking a train, when the route is secure, is a marvelous way to both see the countryside and to make good friends. The system is not without flaws, though, and a fire at a remote bridge resulted in my taking a Greyhound bus, between San Antonio and Tucson.

May- It is never too late in life for people to connect. An odd proposition was made to me, by someone much younger-and was quickly, if politely, deferred. On the other hand, two people who had been alone for several years, found each other and had a lovely garden wedding, making for several years of a solid bond.

June- There are still places where even brief inattention to surroundings can lead to discomfort, even momentarily. I found one briefly “wet” situation, checking out the depth of a bog. Fortunately, it was an “oops” moment, and caused no difficulty to me or anyone else.

July- You can go home again, but family is often going to be swamped with schedules, plans made at the last minute by spouses and friends, or just the crush of dealing with one of the greatest of American holidays.

August- No matter how well a car is maintained, the aftermath of a chain-reaction accident can lead to a total loss being declared, even 1.5 months after it occurs. So it was, for the vehicle that took me across seemingly ridiculous distances, with nary a squeak. Another person’s health issues led to Saturn Vue’s demise.

September- Not all Baha’i school events need include a heavy dose of scholarly presentations. Just being with children and youth, in crafting, dancing and fellowship, is as much a tonic for the soul as any engagement with intellectuals.

October- New friends, made in the wake of a bureaucratic flub, and clear across the continent, to boot, are as fine a result of a mistake as I can imagine. Three Bears Inn will be a place where I could definitely stay for several days, especially en route to the great mountain parks of the northern Rockies. It is all the sweeter when followed by a visit with dearly beloved friends, themselves so much like family.

November- Speaking of family, it is never necessary for my biological family to expend energy on my entertainment. They do so anyway, but just reveling in their presence and celebrating their achievements, is the finest way to spend any time-especially a holiday.

December- As an Old Guard increasingly passes from the scene, among my cohort of veterans, younger people are arising, in service to those who served our nation. I am also re-learning the rewards of patience, with those around me, as we all face increasing uncertainty. They need me, as much as I need them. I also need to be patient with myself.

Resilience

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 30, 2022- In contrast to Christmas, when everyone was either sick or swamped, two invitations to celebrate New Year’s came my way, yesterday. I took the first one and graciously declined the second-as a New Year’s Eve celebration tends to last for several hours-and I am not one who hops between places, if I can help it. Then, too, after the lengthy dinners, there is, for those who are up to it-the Boot Drop on Whiskey Row. Prescott does two such drops-10 p.m., coinciding with the Times Square Ball Drop (12 a.m. EST) and at Midnight, MST-when we join the 3/4 of the world that is already in New Year mode.

A trusted confidant pointed out some things about last week, and about expectations in general. As I knew deep down, even while processing my aloneness, people of goodwill are often busier than heck, some just feel more comfortable being friends online and others may feel that they are always on the hook to host gatherings-and where is everyone else? I host things, now and then, and am much better at paying my share than I was say, in the 2000s.

This week is one of resilience. I found an article on the Firefox main page, that points out the interplay of happiness and pleasure with sorrow and hard times. There are plenty of occasions of each, in the life of anyone who lives fully. Frequently, the greatest joys come from having successfully faced sorrow or hardship. I won’t say that the trials of the 1970s (largely self-induced) resulted directly in the better times of the 1980s and ’90s, but they at least showed me what not to do and how not to interact with people. I can say that the frequent misery of the 2000s contributed somewhat to my strengths and joys of the past twelve years. Life has been far from perfect, since 2012, and 2013 did see me relapse into a strange pattern of behaviour, but I got over all that. The blue periods are shorter, and of less intensity. It helps to recognize, and pray for, those who have it far worse- and actually reach out and help them when I can.

It is almost time to look back on the year (tomorrow’s post) and project ahead (Sunday). Suffice it to say, I look in each direction with a sense of reality and gratitude. I could not have guessed, in 2003 or even ten years ago, that the bounty in my life would be what it is now. That is testimony to the value of resilience.

Undiminished

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 29, 2022- The couple walked two steps in front of me, as I was heading home, past the stately Hassayampa Inn, after meeting Akuura for an afternoon of conversation over latte and tea, at the newly-opened Century Lounge. The woman expressed to her mate, that she didn’t think she could walk much further, on the somewhat slippery sidewalk, to which he replied “You can do it, Baby. Come on, Baby!”

I don’t recall Penny and I having addressed each other in infantile terms, though terms of endearment came out of our mouths on a daily basis. She was straightforward about infantilization, so much so that our son, once he reached the age of three, would say: “I’m NOT a baby!”. Children emulate their mothers, or their primary caretakers of either sex, early on.

So, it seems that the term, “Baby”, applied equally by men and women alike, towards their mates, could be neutral. Yet, given the frequency that women, in the Industrial Age, or earlier, starting with the Manorial System, were treated in a subservient manner, the connotation of the word “Baby”, or even “Babe” (used to describe an attractive female, of any age) has been implied infancy. Of course, women who use that term towards their men are hardly emasculating them. It’s just that to me, and to many others, the best thing anyone can do in a relationship is to encourage a sense of equality, of supporting their mate’s following of her/his life plan and realization of dream (s).

It may well not be a matter of if, but when, I find myself in a relationship again. At that point in time, my choice of expressing endearment will reflect how I view the person who is walking beside, not behind, me. I never want to be one who diminishes another human being.

Still A Tenderfoot Scout

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 28, 2022- When I was in Boy Scouts, from ages 10 to 12, I started out, as all did, a tenderfoot. Eventually, I made it up to First Class, with only a lingering fear of deep water keeping me from the mandatory Swimming and Lifesaving merit badges that would have advanced me to Star, Life and Eagle Scouts. To this day, I don’t swim well with my head above water, but can do about 2 laps underneath.

Shyness still makes itself known in friendships as well. There are people I consider friends, who I am a bit reticent about visiting, mainly because they are reticent about being visited, even though when I have seen them, they wax poetic about my loving nature or gentle energy. Of course, this is on them, but it does bring back old insecurities.

I count people as friends, who are from ages 2 1/2 to 91. Each has a connection that is indelible and each brings a particular quality to the table. Children and seniors bring an unfiltered wisdom. All those in between have character qualities that may not be unfiltered, but are worth encouraging. Some of these friends are only reachable online. Others could not be bothered with cyberspace. Some are quite well-known; others are people most could not tell apart from Adam or Eve. Some are people with whom I have had only a few encounters; others have been my friends since childhood. They run the gamut from students to retired executives; from the kids across the street to my financial advisor, who lives in Florida, and the couple who run a seaside bistro in Brittany.

Only a few people, who chose to dwell on my negative qualities, because that’s all they could see, have had to be cut loose. In every other case, my loyalty remains firm-even if a friend comes up with excuses, every time I ask to visit with them, or is surrounded by “protectors”, who make it clear I am not welcome there. I am still something of a shy tenderfoot, yet feel much blessed in the friend department, as has been said several times.