Category Archives: Spiritual

The Road to Diamond, Day 80: Two Views of Life

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

February 17, 2025, Manila- I left an umbrella at Glorietta Greenway Mall, in Makati. Someone who needs it will be out of harm’s way. I am not leaving my heart here. Out of the blue, K told me, this evening, that she thinks I need to serve the American Red Cross, which means staying in northwest Arizona. I will not make a knee-jerk decision on the matter of my future, yet. That will wait until the time between March 1-16. Part of the deal is that I need to prove to myself that I am able to set up a shelter from scratch, in the simulation exercise on 3/15.

The reversal of my relationship here is nothing new. On the one hand, I have not really felt really accepted as a life partner, completely, by anyone. It took a long time and a lot of work to secure my marriage, and only after 20 years or so was it a fait accompli. I wouldn’t have ever given my wife less than my all, and I never once considered abandoning her. This time, not much is lost, though it would be awkward to return to Manila to live permanently.

The other side of the coin is, unrequited is unrequited. There are women to whom I have not reciprocated a romantic interest, so maybe this is all a trade-ff, or cosmic payback. Most of them have, over time, remained my friends, and K, after a fashion, will likely see me in the same light, albeit from a distance.

Some people, usually men, see their partners or spouses as servants, chattel, part-time interests or outlets for frustration with life. Such people don’t show much in the way of self-respect, so it stands to reason they would not know how to treat others in a decent way. That doesn’t make it right. I have at least built an ethic of standing firm for the rights of others, even if they hold me in disregard or disdain. The Divine, not mortal man, has infused each creature with worthiness. We have yet to approach that sense of worthiness, in our views of one another.

I will head back to the United States, tomorrow evening, by way of Hong Kong. Chapter Two of this unnerving, but vital, year, will start fresh, on Wednesday morning.

The Road to Diamond, Day 79: Affirmations and A Temple Site

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

February 16, 2025, Manila- Two of the adults, of whom I spoke yesterday, have offered me a place of residence, in a city about an hour south of Manila. This gives me a landing place, once I am able to draw down my time in Arizona. That could reasonably be accomplished, in a caring and dignified manner, by the end of May, at the latest. There are organizations about whom I care deeply: Red Cross, Prescott Farmers Market, Slow Food-Prescott-and the Baha’i Community, in which I want to help foster and nurture leadership. There are friends who will never leave my heart, who need to know that they have nothing to do with my moving. I have made it crystal clear who the impetus for the transition is. She is still very much my primary focus, aside from my little family, who themselves would be cause for returning to the U.S., at the drop of a hat. I will have quality time with them and other family members, in early-to-mid May.

All these things come to mind, following my first visit to the site of a future Baha’i House of Worship for the Phiippines. It is in the city of Antipolo, about 17.6 km (10.9 mi) east northeast of Manila. There was a gathering for the election of a delegate to the Baha’i National Convention for the Philippines, which will be held at the end of April. There was the usual fantastic pot luck lunch (adobo, inasal and creamed cauliflower were abundant-as was white rice, of which I took only a small helping.) There was spirited, but always respectful consultation-most of it in Tagalog, so I understood only small snippets, but I could tell the civil and elevated nature of the discourse, by watching body language. K was busy elsewhere, but it was enjoyable to hang out a bit with a couple of her family members, and get to know them better. The vibrant gathering of 45 people was welcoming and supportive of my considering living in their country. Children were free to play at their own developmental games. Dogs, cats and goats wandered about the grounds, interacting with people-mostly for scraps of food, though they are all well-fed by the caretakers.

Here are a few scenes of the Temple Site grounds.

Gathering site for a small business meeting, future Baha’i Temple site, Antipolo, Rizal, Philippines
Fruit tree grove, Baha’i property, Antipolo
Gathering of participants at Baha’i Unit Convention, Antipolo

After the meeting, as we drove back to Manila, it occurred to me that I was becoming more familiar with the roads around the Metro area. I could even help navigate a driver, if asked. Just don’t ask me to drive in the Metro-there are too many motorcyclists, coming every which way.

The Road to Diamond, Day 78: 17 Presidents, 1 Scoop of Rice and 12 Line Dancers

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Entertainment, Historical, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

February 15,2025, Manila- This is my last weekend in the Philippines, pending a few decisions on this end. Those choices will determine what I decide, once I get back to Home Base I. I leave the adults who are making those determinations to their quiet spaces and mindsets.

Today, though, was full of Philippine history, dinner at Mall of Asia, followed by a visit to Okada Casino, in Paranaque. Let’s look at Malacanang Museum-the heritage center of Malacanan Palace. For a description of the reasons behind this distinction, see: https://carlakalay.wordpress.com/2017/09/08/malacanan-or-malacanang-the-philippines-version-of-the-white-house/.

We visited two museums, the first of which, Ugnavan House, housed details in the life of the current President, Ferdinand Marcos, II. These include a replica of the staircase in Malacanan Palace, which the incoming President ascends and the departing President descends.

Replica of the Presidential staircase of Malacanan Palace, found in Ugnavan House.

Bahay, is pronounced like Baha’i, and in Tagalog, it means “house”.

Entrance to the museum of the sitting President of the Philippines.

We listened to the life story and accomplishments, thus far, of President Marcos, Jr., then went to Teus Mansion, which houses the “Treasures of Malacanang”, the heritage of the sixteen past presidents of this country, beginning with Emilio Aguinaldo, who served for two years as President of a nascent Philippine Republic, from 1899-1901, during the country’s struggle for independence first from Spain, then from the United States. Aguinaldo never gave up his campaign for nationhood, even while imprisoned in the United States, and was honoured by each of his successors, including Diosdado Macapagal, who presided over a State Funeral when Aguinaldo died, in 1964. The Philippines have had a continuous series of Presidents since 1935, when Manuel Quezon was elected President of the Commonwealth of the Philippines, still under American tutelage. While Quezon and his Vice President, Sergio Osmena, were in the United States during the Japanese occupation of 1942-45, the country was administered by Jose P. Laurel, ostensibly a puppet ruler acting on behalf of the Japanese, but in reality a conduit for the Quezon-Osmena administration to keep close watch on the country.

The country has essentially moved forward in material progress, and has learned some hard lessons about the trade-off between that progress and the right of people to chart their own path.

The rise of material progress was evident at Mall of Asia, where we enjoyed dinner at a crowded Inasal. The ladies chose chicken and I tried pork belly (liempo). My scoop of rice was Java Rice, a good alternative to “unli” (unlimited) white rice. We all enjoyed halo halo, (ice cream and fruit, on a bed of shaved ice) for dessert.

Okada Casino Resort was sort-of on the way back to Manila, so we stopped there, to take in a show that featured line dancers, some gymnastics, a juggler and hoop dancers, a talented singer-and some spectacular fountain art.

Line and hoop dancers, Okada Resort
Fountain action, Okada Resort (above and below)
The pageant in pink
An odd butterfly with two angels.

My friends pull out all stops, when it comes to an enjoyable day. Tomorrow will be another one-at the Baha’i Temple Site, in the mountain city of Antipolo.

The Road to Diamond, Day 77: Heart House

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

February 14, 2025, Manila- This woman I love looked appreciatively at the roses I had given her for Valentine’s Day-and gave one each to two of her friends who had not received flowers of their own. This is the mark of a human who has the true sense of what matters most in the world: No person needs to be left alone. This is but one example of why I am so close to leaving a comfortable life of fourteen years’ duration and adopting a simpler, but still salubrious, life, halfway around the world.

Anywhere K is, is a heart house. A group of six of us went to visit the home of the construction engineer, who managed the renovation of Manila Regional Baha’i Center. It was an exquisitely- crafted lunch of stewed barbecued chicken, with potatoes and eggplant. There was also a creamy dish of salmon belly, which I had never known was a dish. White rice, of course, was present, but neither K nor I took much of it. She was much more thrilled to have fruit cocktail in chilled milk curd, which I rather enjoyed as well. Earlier, K had asked me about three workers in the project, who were not riding with us to the event. Lo and behold, the three men showed up on their own, having been invited by the boss.

She leaves no one out, ever. After touring the boss’s home, we all went over, at K’s request, to visit a Baha’i friend who has been hospitalized. He was thrilled to see everyone and we spent almost an hour, before the Head Nurse announced it was time for him to rest. K and our hosts went to a nearby Jollibee and bought our friend his favourite chicken, as well as a dozen bananas and some over the counter medication that was approved by the Nurse.

Tomorrow, a small group of us will visit museums that are associated with Malacanang Palace, the residence of the President of the Philippines. Since I have never been in the White House and only on the grounds of Palais de L’Elysee, this will be yet another milestone that I’m sharing with the resident of my Heart House.

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!

The Road to Diamond, Day 76: Peeling Unripe Mangoes

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

February 13, 2025, Manila- I have, through careful attention to the matter, managed to peel three unripe mangoes and a ripe one, without slipping and slashing. This is something that is expected of people who live in tropical areas. Even in temperate places, like Malta, being able to peel fruit without cutting oneself is just a natural element in the rhythm of life.

Now, the present operation, if you want to call it that, of the United States government, looks for all the world like a combination of a Jackson Pollock paint-a-thon and a game of Crash-Cars. Whoever can cause the most distraction gets a prize. Whoever takes the most advantage of the distractions, gets a bigger prize. Those looking for services from the government get a booby prize.

There are solutions to some of this: Those government services that are cut can be replaced by services from non-profit organizations OR they can be provided by entrepreneurs, for a hefty fee. Time will tell whether the cuts take hod. If they do, then we will see which type of organization takes the place of government agencies.

Some of you are bound to tell me, “Oh, come off it! Human beings don’t do bad things to one another, on a large scale, anymore!” Hmm. Hitler’s genocide happened a bit more than 80 years ago. Stalin’s pogroms ended only with his death, in 1953. Mao’s depredations came to an end in 1976, when he died. The Ku Klux Klan only faded into the woodwork, in the 1970s-and it’s not dead. by any means. Pol Pot was ousted in 1979. Rwandan butcher Felicien Kabuga was only brought to justice in 2020.

Human beings may presently be less inclined, on average, to do bad things to one another on a large scale-for ideological reasons. (Ukraine, Gaza, Myanmar and Sudan are exceptions) The profit motive and the personal power card, however, are still very intense incentives to do bad things, especially to people who one may never know on a personal level. Before you tell me that those now in power have no need of more wealth, let’s steer clear of that dis-ingenuity. Many have heard the fable of the man who asked a djinn for a larger house, then for a mansion, then for a palace and finally, to be equal to God. Guess how the story ends. Money and power fill a hole in the psyche of someone who has wanted to be needed, almost since birth and certainly since childhood. Read the biographies of anyone, from Chinghiz Khan to our current President-and that of the CEO of Space X, for that matter, and make the connection.

The mango peeling analogy is this: Sooner or later, those engaged in the devolution of the United States government are going to get carried away, depend too much on Artificial Intelligence and do something ridiculous, because they can. They will then engage in the equivalent of peeling the mango with their eyes closed, or at least whilst looking away from fruit and knife.

I was recently cautioned to not make key decisions while in a state of revelry. I repeat that caution to those who think they don’t need the good will of the common people. “The frowns on the faces of the jugglers and the clowns” that Bob Dylan mentioned, in “Like A Rolling Stone”, are mere grimaces now, but that will change and get more ominous.

Pay attention to your surroundings; the people in them are paying attention to you.

The Road to Diamond, Day 75: Bunnies on Duty

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Posted by on in animal and plant life, Assistance, collaborating, Community, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual

February 12, 2025, Manila- I shared these two with my beloved, this afternoon, as this was a light-hearted element in the midst of a hot, dusty setting, where a crew of four was pouring and grading cement.

Rabbits are a joy to have around, especially in an area where they are free of predators, and where they can leisurely nibble on fresh leafy greens. They don’t make noise, unless they are either in a state of bliss or one of annoyance/distress. See this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aWRBdOklX0

The watch bunnies would scream, if an odd cat or Philippine eagle were to show up and act as a predator, but these are few and far between, in this part of Manila. Cats are kept mostly indoors and eagles are not much for the lowlands. So, they patrol their yard for a time, and being diurnal, they go to sleep in their small corner of the yard, near the back door to the Manila Baha’i Center.

I am not doing much more than the rabbits, on this job site. We three are mostly here for emotional support.

The Road to Diamond, Day 74: Options Arise

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving

February 11,2025, Manila- Someone with experience in condominiums looked at the sheet which outlines amortization and pointed out everything that one gets when purchasing a condo. He then offered an alternative, the details of which must remain private, for now. Suffice it to say, the option would be completely above board, fair and would meet my relatively simple needs. It also met with my loved one’s approval. (She was less than thrilled with the condo idea. To be clear, the living arrangement on which I am working now is for me alone. My friend has her own place and any change in our status would be after I get established.)

It is said that any problem that arises contains the seeds of its resolution. The above is a case in point. It is my nature to consult experts, when confronted with something that leaves me like a deer in the headlights. When I’ve followed that practice, novel situations have turned out well. The few times I’ve tried to muddle through on my own have been disastrous. My gut always knows the difference.

I have also learned to practice consultation in relationships-be they platonic friendships or more intimate. Penny taught me that skill. Most of my relationships since have gone well. The few that imploded went south either because I was delusional or the other person had a hidden agenda-or two. K is the real deal, so our consultation is spot on, each and every day. Consultation always generates options, as well.

Some will be disappointed in the choices I make, but in case of the business matters, they will have factored in the possibility of getting ‘No’ for an answer. In the case of the people who want me to take on one task or another, I will work with them to make sure someone else of capacity is able to take on the duties. No one of us is irreplaceable.

Stay tuned. Dull moments are rare, this year.

The Road to Diamond, Day 73: A Pause for Reality

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, impediments, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

February 10, 2025, Manila- I went shopping, this afternoon. Looking for a way to settle here, in an intelligent, practical manner has run into the realities of urban finance. I will discuss this further with K, and at least I have a safe, secure Home Base waiting, if the whole plan here turns out to be an impractical mess. I have a duty, to my departed parents, to my little and extended families, and to my beloved, to never again be a burden on anyone. So, with no money having exchanged hands, I am glad that my expedition this afternoon and evening has given me insights.

Long story short-while monthly rent here is fairly cheap, housing entrepreneurs favour “rent to own” systems, which include a doable down payment, followed, however, by a monthly payment that exceeds the average American pensioner’s total monthly income-at least in Metro Manila. No thank you, unless I win the lottery stateside, and even then, it’s the principle of the matter.

I am not shamefaced, to tell you, my readers, this, only a day after being so sure of my Plan 1. I did say, yesterday, that events on the ground this year could change on a dime. Things will likely proceed organically, in quite rapid succession, between now and next Tuesday, as well as for the rest of this year. K and I will continue to have honest, heartfelt conversations, about a number of things-and life will go on nicely. Stay tuned.

The Road to Diamond, Day 72: Realizations

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

February 9, 2025, Manila- A kindly woman said something that has occurred to me several times, but has slipped to the background of my thinking, with regard to my friendship with a special soul here. It is service together and enjoyment of just being together that matters most, in any relationship. The whole romance and courtship element that is so important, to so many, even among us seniors is actually of lesser importance to K and I. The longing to be together, to do things together, is very strong-as strong as it was with Penny. It does not, however, come with strictures and caveats, per se-other than a sense that I get from K, that I actually commit to being here for more than a few weeks..

Tomorrow, I will go with a mutual friend to look at a place where I might rent a condominium at a monthly rate, looking to live in this area for a year or so. If the place seems reasonable, then all the systematic changes that I would need to make in my life would be effected from the time I return to the United States, in the middle of next week (2/19) to the end of April. It will perhaps discomfit some in Home Base I, and elsewhere, but I haven’t felt this strongly about anyone, nor felt such reciprocal energy coming from the person, since 2011.

Unless things go drastically south in the next ten days, I know that this is the course I want to pursue. It’ll mean working with the Red Cross to train a team of Disaster Response volunteers for northwest Arizona, during March. It will mean putting some household items up for sale and giving much of the rest away, in early April and taking the rest to a storage unit. I would bring only two or three bags of items with me. It will mean a schedule of 9-10 months here and 2-3 months’ travel in the United States or other parts of the world.

It will also mean being readily adaptable, in this age when affairs large and small can turn on a moment’s notice.

The Road to Diamond, Day 71: Smoothing Rough Edges

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving

February 7, 2025, Manila- The otherwise courtly man awoke from his nap, and marched into the kitchen: “Where’s my coffee??” As the rest of us have been fixing our own caffeinated drinks, for as far back as I’ve been coming here, I was a bit nonplussed. The ladies in the kitchen were, however, furious, as was the construction project lead, who is every bit as much an advocate of women’s rights as I have been. The visitor got his cup of coffee prepared for him, with the understanding that any refills would be prepared by him, alone.

We are in an age of smoothing rough edges. This state of affairs means that each of us must bring ourselves to account each day, work on those weak spots and give some grace to those who stumble in one area or another. The visitor was, in general, polite and considerate, and was more than generous to the kitchen manager’s teenage son, after realizing that he had offended people with his earlier demand.

Back in the United States, it is particularly urgent for people to look at one another with the eye of understanding. Overlooking the viewpoints of other right-thinking people will not, inherently, change those viewpoints. Rather, it will only increase the likelihood of a return to policies that are seen as shopworn, anachronistic or otherwise counterproductive. The other thing that will guarantee revanchism is overplaying one’s own hand. For example, forcing others to adhere to one’s own orthodoxy-even if that belief system has some redeeming social value. People need to be persuaded, not coerced. That persuasion has to appeal to the hearer’s understanding of the world.

That means giving the “other side” the tools by which to smooth their own rough edges, while one smooths his/her own.