Category Archives: Striving

Giving Is Getting

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Posted by on in animal and plant life, Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

December 8, 2025, Banning- Two small piles of notebooks, coloured pencils, a therapeutic colouring book and post cards which had accumulated over the past fourteen years were offered to those gathered at the weekly Soup Kitchen. It took exactly fifteen minutes for six people to go through the offerings and take what suited them, in a discerning manner.

I will be doing more of that, over the ten days left to me to prepare for the move to Plano, especially as most of what I am giving was itself given me, following Penny’s passing, in 2011. Of course, it will largely go to Thrift Stores or to Habitat for Humanity, but new uses will be found for even the most well-worn items.

First, though, is my final visit to Orange County, at least until my granddaughter, whose birth is fourteen days away, attains toddlerhood. With that in mind, I took advantage of an easy clean-up after Soup Kitchen and headed west, through Arizona’s Outback and the Colorado Desert of eastern California. Only a couple of brief incidents coloured the generally smooth trip.

Between Aguila and Wenden, along US 60, there happened to be two rather large deer standing in the road. As Sportage approached, one deer went north and the other dashed south-no collision tonight!

Later, after I topped off the gas tank at Ehrenburg, a Honda Accord appeared to my left, as I was leaving the station-the driver bulling his way onto the road, to get ahead of me. Since he had been right behind a pick-up, I figured they were traveling together and he didn’t want to get separated. That was, until he zipped past the pick-up. Oh, well, we all got to stop, a half-mile further west, at the Ag Inspection. CHP also had a Safety Zone set up, for five miles through Blythe and just beyond, so we were all limited to 60 mph. Sometimes, taking ends up becoming giving, in terms of personal freedom. It’s often better to just go with the flow, at least when it comes to traffic.

From Wiley’s Well onward, the trip was uneventful, and I pulled into a different motel, the Margarita, around 10:15, PST. Tomorrow, I will meet my Orange County friend at Ladera Ranch and share my joys of this past year and the year to come.

Group Assistance

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, Community, Education, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal goals, Personal Values, service, Slow Food, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 7, 2025- Another holiday party/annual meeting/farewell gathering featured inventive, delicious organic and vegetarian fare-including my mixed greens and sunflower sprouts, with a dressing of lemon curd, Sicilian lemon balsamic and Persian lime olive oil, with a hint of paprika. The dressing was a particular hit with the group- and the host, a Master Chef, asked to keep what was left. Success!!

Part of the business meeting involved discussion of whether to donate funds to a Garden School in Africa, that serves HIV-ridden orphaned children. The group has helped the Director, herself uninfected, for the past three years, so it was not difficult to vote for continuance. We voted to double the amount suggested by our executive committee, with no objection from them. One of our members has been to that school twice, and will visit again, sometime next year.

It is hard for many people here to comprehend, but the conduit member said that HIV is still rampant in that particular part of Africa, as many men are unwilling to use hygienic protection in their intimate activities, leaving their women open to infection, which naturally gets passed on to any progeny. This situation was the basis for HIV-fighting funds from USAID. Now that the prevailing view in our government is that these funds just “reward bad behaviour”, the funds have been reduced, or eliminated, and it will take time for the miscreants to realize that no one is going to rescue them. The children are the ones who end up suffering. So, private groups like ours are taking up the slack-helping women and children directly.

Collective action is far more effective than assorted individuals trying to take up the mantle. Besides, I have to be on deck to focus my energies and resources on family first. I am grateful that projects like this are getting an organizational response.

High Honours

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Inspiration, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 6, 2025- I was blessed with an extra helper today, at the Farmers Market breakdown: A National Honor Society member, who proved to be a self-starter and did about half the workload, without missing a beat. This is a one-off, but I told management that I think it would be a good idea to reach out to the high school, for assistance from Future Farmers of America and Junior Achievement, both of whom have chapters there.

I only have one weekend left in Prescott, after this one, so it is of concern to me that the groups I have been helping are covered, going forward. There is a lot of youthful energy in this town, and in this area. I have watched the children of several friends here, grow from infancy to pre-teenhood. Others, who were students of mine when I first came here, in 2000, are now among the leadership in the community, and the Classes of 2011, onward have proven equally talent-laden.

I was asked tonight, at another gathering, how I felt the youth were doing, relative to our generation. There are lots of forces that are exerting a downward pressure on the rising generations; but that has always been the case. Advances in technology make these seem worse, especially to older folks who might not be well-versed in said advances. Human nature, though, is still the same. Young people will take some of the changes into their cultural framework, and resist or roll back others. I have spoken with a cross section of youth, in recent weeks. There are both conservatives and liberals in Generation Z and Generation Alpha, as there have been throughout the course of human history. Both groups have a concern for individuals maintaining health and adhering to a moral framework. With individual responsibility increasing, there is also more of a tolerance among the younger generations for engaging with those whose viewpoints are different.

This trend, to me, is of great importance. High honours redound to the person who is willing to look beyond own perspective. No one has a corner on the truth.

Reality Checks

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 5, 2025- The earnest young man said, with a straight face, that he fully intended to finance a new vehicle, using his available income from a part-time job cleaning office buildings around his town. We went over the cost of the desired vehicle, the number of months it would take to pay off a loan-if one were even available and the amount of money he would have to set aside each month, just to pay the loan amount, never mind insurance, registration and maintenance. It didn’t take him long to pivot to calculating the monthly costs involved with purchasing a used car, for 1/4 the amount of a new vehicle.

When I was a similar age, I had a grand uncle who would calmly disabuse me of similar outlandish dreams. He never tried to actively talk me out of any pipe dream, but used facts, numbers and the sort of logic that said “This is all achievable-just some day, not right away.” In running this morning’s round table discussions with juniors and seniors at a local high school, regarding financial planning, I used the same mentoring tools. The students could see that I am still standing, even through a fair number of missteps and setbacks. My ending point was that it is not the mistakes that matter, in the end; it is the aggregate of lessons learned.

This morning, regarding grandparenting, I was reminded that the elder’s greater wisdom shines brightest from the ability to listen to the grandchild; to be the safe haven and by extension, the greatest emotional support. It takes nothing away from parents, but does offer the child another place where s(he) can feel validated. It is that affirmation that builds the emotional strength a person needs, to successfully withstand all manner of negative pressures.

Today’s seminars were a good round of practice in that regard.

Reading the Room

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 4, 2025- While mostly enjoying a gathering this afternoon, I got the sense that two of the higher-ranking people, in the group with which I have been involved, were not exactly thrilled with my decision to leave the area. A mutual friend said that was off the mark and that the management is actually supportive of my decision and is happy for me. One of the administrators hugged me before leaving, so my reading of the room was not quite on point.

One of the things that has indeed held me back, over the years, is a difficulty in reading people. I came to the conclusion, a while back, that oftentimes when I sense hostility or dislike from someone else, it is more a matter of how I am feeling about myself at the time. Many, if not most, people are neutral-to-supportive. Very few, actually, are hostile-and even if they are, the question begs, “Do I reflect something they don’t like about themselves?

I went to another gathering, this evening, putting these ideas to the test. A person who I previously had considered hostile was actually quite agreeable, jovial. Most of the people at the gathering were engaging and took an interest in one another. I felt at home, and recognized that any tension inside myself right now is likely processing the matter of leaving a place that has been home for fourteen years, and a state that has been home for all but six of the past forty-seven years.

It’s best to let the feelings flow, and know that all will be well, in the weeks to come and in the years that follow. I am getting better, at reading the room.

Notes On Westward Road

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Inspiration, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

December 3, 2025- I arrived back at Home Base I around Noon. Newspapers were neatly stacked and the mail had been delivered from the holiday hold. My hardy houseplant did just fine, with a week’s supply of water and some access to sunlight. The re-upholstered couch looks fantastic and the place is cozy and warm. I plotted the December calendar, and found that there is something on tap for each day, until I leave, on or near the Solstice.

Yesterday, I stopped in for lunch at Double C, in Moriarty. Riely has moved on with her life, but a nice young lady, who the owner identified only as “Employee 9”, served the seven of us who showed up at once-without batting an eyelash. The chili cheeseburger is thick and sumptuous.

Later, in Winslow, once ensconced in the Beatles Room, at Delta Motel, I headed down to “the Corner”, where Glenn Frey never stood, and enjoyed fabulous birria tacos at Shorty’s Cafe. Shorty is a nice lady, assisted by two lovely young women. Marisella, who served me, is effusive and glad to see all who enter the premises.

This morning, the owner of Delta made sure that I knew not to try and navigate Highway 87-“already having problems there with snow and ice.” Figuring she knew something I didn’t, I stuck to the Interstates and had only dry roads to navigate. There was scant snow in the air and none on the ground, between Winslow and Camp Verde. Here in Prescott, the situation was no different and it actually cleared up, this afternoon.

We will have fair and dry weather, while I am getting the place packed up and various items distributed here and there. My jaunt out to southern California, Monday night and Tuesday, and Sedona visit on Wednesday, will also be blessed with perfect weather. I am grateful to be able to tie up loose ends properly. Life continues to proffer blessings on this peripatetic soul.

Dependence

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Family, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

December 2, 2025, Winslow, AZ- A friend who thinks deeply about the course of human behaviour made a cogent point today- People who often get assessed as being “broken” or “lost” are more often creatures of dependence. They seek approval or guidance from those they view as more powerful or worthy of control over their affairs, and leave their own power on the sidelines.

Through my life, I have often been right, when I trusted my gut and my heart. The bloopers, which have also been many, have come when I tried to “honour” requests or demands made by those who I, erroneously, deemed “heavy hitters”, “hard chargers”, or more adept at life than yours truly. They came when I absorbed their insults and diatribes into my own psyche. Mathematically, this translates into (Dependence) X (Sycophancy)= Self-defeat.

Here is what I would like to see increased: Each person takes stock of how the gut feels, how the heart feels and how those feelings are in sync with common sense, before deciding upon a course of action and certainly before carrying it out. Committing myself to these has definitely decreased the number, and severity, of bloopers that cause so much pain and annoyance to me and to those around me.

This morning, I had a brief urge to go from Tucumcari to Pecos National Historic Site-which would have been a two-hour, thirty-five minute diversion. Gut told heart that there is simply much to be done back in Prescott, once I return there tomorrow. When the turn northward, towards Pecos, presented itself, I kept on driving west, and other than a brief stop at Continental Divide, continued on until I decided that a Winslow break was in order. Top notch birria tacos, at Shorty’s and a night’s stay in The Beatles Room, at Delta Motel, the music-themed inn that is one of my favourites have helped set the tone for the rest of my return to Prescott and getting started on the month of transition ahead.

As for the exploration of New Mexico and other areas, I am looking forward to helping, slowly and gradually, introduce the world and its beauty to my grandchild.

Tik-Tok

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Education, Entertainment, Family, impediments, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

December 1, 2025, Tucumcari- My friend sat across from me, in a crowded coffee shop, on the west side of Amarillo. He referred, a couple of times, to things he’d seen on Tik-Tok, a medium he finds amusing. A few minutes later, he told of posts on said medium that he found revolting.

I have never been a fan of Tik-Tok,nor of Snap Chat, Reddit or any other medium that relies, for its existence, on mass, conformity-based consumption of whatever drivel the worst among its contributors serves up, particularly in the form of “challenge”. Whoever dreamed up the nightmare that was “Tide Pod Challenge” (before Tik-Tok, in fairness) deserves to be consigned to the scrap heap of historical opprobrium. Its successors, some of which have found their way to Tik-Tok (i.e. Jam Jar Pulse Jet), likewise deserve nothing short of universal condemnation, for the resulting harm they cause both those who attempt them and their loved ones who are left to pick up the pieces of the person(s) left in relative ruin.

Tik-Tok could have become the purveyor of presentations that elevate humanity, the way Wikipedia and, for the most part, TED Talks and You Tube have become. Instead, we have the media promoter of the ethos that is reflected in that most odious of sentiments, “It’s better than Crack!” End of rant.

The day was, all in all, very nice. I bid farewell to my little family, for a few weeks, then found it fairly easy to exit Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex. The drive along Northwest Passage was easy, and I found my lunch stop, Valley Pecans, rather deserted. Somehow, I was about the first customer at that lovely cafe-emporium, and was, thankfully, followed by about a dozen other people. It was Noon, so high time for travelers to surface.

After my visit with friend, Wes, In Amarillo and a fuel stop, I made it to this high desert gem, taking this room at Rodeway Inn and heading to Del’s Diner, one of Tucumcari’s best. Del’s has been around since 1966, and the crowds, such as the one there tonight, are proof of its excellence. Martha and crew treated everyone special, tonight. The regulars attest that this is no fluke. It’s how the crew is every day, every meal. Viva Del’s; viva Tucumcari!

Staying On Point

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Family, impediments, Personal goals, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

November 30, 2025, Grapevine- My sole tasks today were recording measurements of two rooms in the Plano house, using the Notes application on my i-Phone, and doing my laundry. It was not a hard day. Son had to navigate traffic across the Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex, as he does almost every day. He had the harder job. There is a fair number of unfocused, impetuous motorists here, as there are in nearly every major city on the planet. He got the job done just fine.

Much of the difficulty facing the human race has come from one or more people, in any given situation, becoming distracted. There are plenty of diversions competing for anyone’s attention, at any given time of the day: Sunrises and sunsets; cute animals; cute babies; text messages; phone calls; road accidents; attractive members of the opposite sex; billboards; alluring announcements on the radio or streaming device; even someone riding a horse on the side of the road. The tasks, though, remain the same: Drive safely; pay attention to the person in front of you; finish what you start.

I think of this, as I plan out one of the most tightly-choreographed months in quite a while. Not since July, 2011 have I had to face a sea change in my living situation. It will need to be done carefully, and attentively, both because of time frame and because the feelings of so many people, who mean a great deal to me, need to be kept in mind. The most important, of course, are my little family. Others also matter, and so December will see lots of hugs and handshakes and “Thank you for being my friend, all these years.” The saving grace, in each instance, is the continuity offered by social media.

All I can promise anyone is that I will stay on point, and get the tasks of transition done, to the every best of my ability, doing justice for all concerned.

Firmness, and Style

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Education, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 29, 2025, Grapevine- The order of the day was bringing some items to the Plano house, including my major camping stuff and some of the items purchased for the good of the household. It was then off to assess furniture, including my trying out several mattresses. I like firmness on a sleeping surface, and will determine where I will lay my head, at least for the next nineteen years, after a bit more investigation.

The rest of the items are more a matter of style and utility. We stopped in one furniture MegaStore, where I was amazed to see the wooden desk equivalent of stylish torn jeans: Painted wooden desks, with scuffed trim-“on sale” for $289. In fairness, most of the other office furniture was nicely constructed and looked state of the art.

It is a joy to watch my son and daughter-in-law meet the challenges of home ownership, taking each major step seriously, with no sense of being overwhelmed. It is all seen in perspective, and 1-3 matters are handled per day. They are also sober-minded, loving parents, actively planning to nurture the whole child, from the moment she is born.

That brings me back to the subjects of firmness and style. Granddaughter will be getting direction, first and foremost, from her parents, with back-up from me, when needed. My style of grandparenting will evolve, but it will be centered on consistency and giving her feelings of security and self-confidence. Some grandparents are known to take on the role of disciplinarian. I will not. Others take on the role of rescuer. I do not have a life-sized picture of that being necessary, with this family. The bottom line is that I will not live through my children and grandchild(ren). It is not something with which I have ever comfortable, and I am not about to start now.

I will be another sure bet in the little girl’s life.