January 10, 2018, Prescott-
I am finding time zone differences
are the muck that is
complicating
my giant steps.
Doing two jobs at once,
until the end of March,
albeit for a short fifteen minutes,
in the morning,
could be a bit messy.
Good thing my day job supervisor
is agreeable
to my giant steps continuing.
This is how love has come into my life, both thirty-seven years ago, and much more recently.
Love
Has a way of wilting
Or blossoming
At the strangest,
Most unpredictable hour.
This is how love is,
An uncontrollable beast
In the form of a flower.
The sun does not always shine on it.
Nor does the rain always pour on it
Nor should it always get beaten by a storm.
Love does not always emit the sweetest scents,
And sometimes it can sting with its thorns.
Water it.
Give it plenty of sunlight.
Nurture it,
And the flower of love will
Outlive you.
Neglect it or keep dissecting it,
And its petals will quickly curl up and die.
This is how love is,
Perfection is a delusional vision.
So love the person who loves you
Unconditionally,
And abandon the one
Who only loves you
Under favorable Conditions…⚜
January 8, 2018, Prescott-
He was like Gibraltar’s rock,
working day and night
to secure his future,
and those of countless others,
for he was a man of finance,
and a man of principle.
I’d have trusted him
with the account I am building.
He loved a sacred space,
not far from where he
and his beloved
had lived
for over two decades.
He worked the grounds
of that sacred space.
I had the honour
of working alongside him.
Now, he has taken his flight,
after a life lived powerfully.
She was in the worst of pain,
the sort that only a flood of love
can even come close to healing.
Those closest to her,
not knowing her level
of suffering,
tended to other matters.
She tended to her matter,
and took her flight,
after a life lived tortuously.
We know not what
is in store for us.
We can only live
in as much of the Light
as we can absorb.
We can only absorb
as much of the Light,
as the size of our lens,
will let in.
Our lens is
only as big,
as the heart that
it mirrors,
and the lenses
off which
it reflects.
So, I honour
a forthright,
valiant man.
So, I feel pain,
for a tortured
woman.
I hope every one of my friends who is depressed, or knows someone who is depressed, takes heed of the last section of this post.
Since I could remember, writing has always been a liberating experience for me. It has gotten me away from the harsh realities of my current situation. Growing up wasn’t easy, but I see now that those experiences are guiding me to where I am supposed to be and who I am supposed to be. Without the joys of writing, I wouldn’t have made it out alive. As a small child without a voice, I was able to use my ability to transform characters into letters, letters into words, words into feelings, to give me the chance to dance, sing, and dream.
Depression has the ability to take away what you love the most. Its desire to feed on your negative energy is insatiable. I will admit for a long time, I allowed depression to convince me that writing was something I wasn’t good at and that it wasn’t a goal…
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January 7, 2017, Prescott-
My best friend and I had a wide-ranging conversation, yesterday, about inner peace, among other things. She suffered a loss, recently, and the subject arose about those who blame others for their pain and suffering. Neither she nor I blame anyone but ourselves, if things go sideways in our lives. I love her dearly, but if she bid me farewell tomorrow, I would go on, and figure it wasn’t meant to be, for longer than it was. On the other hand, I am glad for every minute of our friendship, and will treat her like royalty, as long as it lasts.
Those of us who are blessed by the Universe tend to have a mighty full plate. I was informed today about another responsibility that my fellow Baha’is would like me to assume. My financial education continues, work resumes tomorrow and I still like to read as many of the posts on my Reader, as humanly possible. Exercise remains important. I will also make time for M, when she needs me. So, the schedule remains, 4:30 AM-10 PM, 6 days a week, and a “sleep-in” until 5:30, on Sunday.
My winter reading list is also present, to fill in the “gaps” in my day: “Cash Flow Quadrant”, by Robert Kiyosaki; “Facing Grief With Eyes Wide Open”, by Medea Bavarella Chechik; “Tribe”, by Sebastian Junger; “Winter of the World”, by Ken Follett; “Footloose in America”, by Bud Kenny; “The Elegant Universe”, by Brian Greene. That should last until March 21, or 31.
We were talking, at a meeting today, in Phoenix, about how people often assume the young and the old have lots of time on their hands. I can’t speak for the kids, but there is joy for me, in choosing to maintain a full schedule.
January 5, 2018, Prescott-
I have addressed the new year, in terms of where I might go, and such. In terms of the Now, however, any new year is best approached by looking at the Four F’s of one’s life: Family, Friends, Faith and Finances.
So, let’s do this.
Family- I have to be at the ready, always, for any changes that happen in my large and cherished family. As with anyone, I need to be ready for births, deaths and any dire emergency in between. Right now, the radar screen shows my niece’s wedding, in June. May peace reign, in the interim. My family goal this year, though, remains more regular communication with all. Social media takes up much of that slack, and I am already engaged in writing a traditional letter to my mother, every 1-2 weeks. A similar letter, to my eldest brother, goes out once a month, and he follows my online postings. The same is true of my son.
Friends- There is someone who I consider my best friend, and to whom I would devote as much time as she needs. She is a busy soul, though, so up to now, that time has not amounted to a whole lot. There are many others, from my fellows in Faith, my co-workers and people, from three blocks away, to Zimbabwe and Siberia, for whom I would give my life. I have two caveats: Please do not call or message me, randomly, and get offended when I don’t have time for a social call- deferred attention is always an option. Secondly, not buying a product you have for sale or endorsing a mass message you are promoting on Facebook Messenger does not mean I don’t care about you. Conversely, if you don’t take up my cause, I will still regard you as a friend. Visiting goes by the same rules. I will always call or message, in advance, when headed your way. Right now, a visit to a friend in Orange County, CA is in the works and there may be several more, between here and Philadelphia, come school year’s end.
Faith- My day starts with meditation, prayer and recitation of a sacred verse. Faith, though, has to be reflected in everything one does, especially with regard to other people. So, my work, my driving, my business transactions, even my leisure activities, are approached with Baha’i principles in mind. I am no saint, but the Golden Rule is ever present. I will have many activities brought to my calendar, faith-wise, this year, and as with concerns with family, so do I need to be ready and flexible on my schedule, to prioritize Baha’i activities, when they directly impact the spiritual well-being of the community. This afternoon, and this coming Sunday, are examples of short-notice gatherings, for which I am able to be ready. I anticipate many more.
Finances- Given my temperament, this area has long been my weak spot. I am giving it a lot more attention, and being coached financially is one reason why I am choosing to wake earlier each day. I fully intend to grow my estate, given looming events, for which one is normally expected to have a fair amount of cash on hand. The main thing is that I have put a scarcity mentality behind me, and will persevere in the coming months, in building more short-term security. I tended to possible elder care needs, at Penny’s behest, while she was still alive. I am also very well-insured.
The Four F’s being much on my mind, this should be a fabulous year.
January 4, 2018, Prescott-
I have returned to Home Base. Everything was as I left it, two weeks ago. My ex-neighbour’s junk is still in the carport. Since he’s dissed the landlord, I will start to haul it off myself, as after 30 days, property is regarded as abandoned.
Now, on to the prime purpose of this post. Another blogger referred to life-changing moments. Here are those that have cast my life, in the direction it’s taken and to the place where I am now.
June, 1954- The Lynnhurst woods, around my first real house, were a place of wonder. I walked off by myself, towards Grama’s house. Little did I suspect that dad would take the hairbrush to my backside, as soon as I got home. That first walk alone, though, set me on the course of exploration that has been in my blood ever since.
July, 1959- I can’t say which rock fight led to my life-long inability to keep from flinching, when a baseball, or other such item, is making its way towards me. Overcoming coordination issues has been a problem since that long-ago summer.
November 22, 1963- I began to get over an innate conservatism, the day that the powers that be decided to get rid of John F. Kennedy. I will never buy the Single Bullet Theory.
April, 1969- I decided that six years of commitment to the US Army was too long, and opted to enlist for a three-year stint, instead of remaining in the Reserves.
November 23, 1969- One of my high school friends was killed in VietNam. I was in Fort Myer, VA, at the time. It took me a year of quiet anger, but that event was the impetus for my own going over to the war zone, in March, 1971.
November 28, 1975- I was let go from a part-time job, on my 25th birthday, because one of the other workers had a son who needed a job, and I was “too ambitious”. The anger expressed by my co-workers, at this adverse action, was gratifying. Yet, a young woman, for whom I had feelings, put it in perspective: “Who has it worse, you, losing a crap job or me, just getting done with a divorce?” That has led me to tread carefully, when facing what seems like a personal disaster.
December 6, 1980- I met Penny. Enough said.
June 6, 1982- We were married, and though a fairy-tale wedding was not followed by an idyllic marriage, there were 29 years of love and mutual personal growth. The proof is serving his country, in South Korea.
August 20, 1986- We arrived in South Korea, and began a 5.5 year love affair with a culture far different from all either of us had experienced, up to then. I am still greatly drawn to the sensibilities of “the East”.
April 20, 2003- Penny’s second accident in two weeks set us to a commitment fiercer than any I have had, before or since. I was her caretaker for nearly eight years afterward.
November, 2009- Several financial disasters under our belt, we decided to endure Chapter 11. I have survived that, and by the grace of Dave Ramsey and Robert Kiyosaki, my attitude towards money has forever changed,
March 5, 2011- I was once again on my own, and the challenge was now to not go adrift. The next five months did find the ropes fraying at the moorings, though.
August 4, 2011- Someone I love dearly threw down a heavy gauntlet. I was accused of things which would not stick to any wall. I see where his suspicions originated, but that was not me, and never will be. His comments, though, served to make me determined to rely on no one. I would long be maintaining that distance.
September, 2013- On the heels of an unsettled summer’s journey, I answered a call to help a single mother move. That two-day effort of service led me to do Terra Essential Oils, a commitment to more active community service, and to one of the finest friendships I’ve ever known.
There are sure to be other life-changing events ahead. I know that my spiritual bonds will see me through them all. We never stop growing.
January 1, 2018, Birmingham, AL-
On this day that symbolizes new beginnings
in the Western world,
I recall these.about the year just past:
A little girl and her family,
guided me to funnel cake
and fireworks,
interrupted, only mildly,
by a man-child and his drone.
As an uncle of mine,
winged his flight
to heaven,
his only granddaughter
redoubled her efforts,
and earned a college degree.
I made a friend,
three years ago,
whilst moving on,
from a ridiculous series
of actions on my part.
That friend is still very much,
in my life, in my heart,
and one of the strongest
young ladies,
I have ever met,
has done us all proud.
My friend, her mother,
is the impetus,
and the guarantor,
of that amazing trajectory,
which will not come crashing down.
Happy 18th, to one of the first children,
of the Third Millennium, of Anno Domini.
I left Spring Hill, earlier today,
having made an older lady feel valued,
a tortured dog feel safe in my presence,
a loyal relative feel honoured.
Two more days remain,
of my journey back to Home Base.
December 31, 2017, Spring Hill-
We’ve had two successive nights of dining out. Friday night found my SIL, her good friend and me at Bonefish, in nearby Brooksville. Last night, the guys’ treat, was spent among a raucous crowd, at Brian’s Place, in Hernando Beach. I don’t mind raucous- it’s a sign of life being lived to the fullest. The food was excellent, in both places.
Here are Brian’s Crab Cakes, Twice-baked potato on a bed of spinach and Plantain Ears.
Yesterday also saw a visit to my SIL’s horses, at a lovely ranch in Weeki Wachee, about four miles from here.
The piney woods and white sand don’t phase the equines much. I wonder about how summers are for them, but horses are good at finding shady spots.
It’s been a fine ending to an up, down and back up year. I lost Uncle George, Doc Manzer, a few high school-era friends and friends’ parents, and feisty little Tank, the blessed companion of a good friend. I found SunFlour Bakery, Local Jonny’s, Cupcakes and Cravings, Coney Island Diner, D’s Diner and Rosati’s Prescott franchise. Explorations included Philadelphia’s downtown, Brandywine, Antietam, Harper’s Ferry, Lexington (VA), Falls of the Ohio, Paducah, Spur Cross Ranch, Prescott’s Wolverton Mountain and two segments of the Maricopa Trail. Job sites were tough (the first half of the year) and challenging, but supportive (the second half). One or two friends turned aside, but many others came along. This Blog Site changed its name, and grew its readership.
I grew, internally. My friendship with a fine woman has deepened, spiritually. I saw my son off, on an adventure to the land of his birth, and witness, with great pride, his maturation. I am exploring another financial opportunity; carefully, mind you, but with more confidence than I have felt in quite some time.
2018 is a few hours off, for us. I will begin the year on a bus, headed for Phoenix, and on to Prescott, by way of Tallahassee, Montgomery, Birmingham, across Mississippi, Louisiana, Texas and New Mexico. It’ll be a bustling five months of work, in the same supportive environment as before our break, coupled with a concerted effort at the aforementioned financial opportunity. Travel-wise, a Presidents’ Day visit to Orange and San Diego Counties; back East, at school year’s end, via Colorado, Nebraska, Chicagoland, Indianapolis, Detroit, Ontario and Montreal, thence to Massachusetts and Philadelphia. Returning via eastern Virginia, across the Old Dominion and the Carolinas, and the Knoxville area, before hopefully getting back to Prescott, in time for the Fireworks.
Fall should see us doing it all over again, at Prescott High School, and at this time, next year, I will be enjoying yet another holiday-just not sure where. Whatever happens, it’ll be a doozie!
December 30, 2017, Spring Hill-
I was scolded, a while ago.
Someone is furious,
that I said people who
learn from their mistakes
are winners.
Let’s revisit that one.
Everyone learns.
I am sometimes a slow learner,
my lessons might be repeated,
a dozen times or so.
Yet, I do learn.
I do, eventually, win.
That ought to satisfy
my enraged reader.
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