Tag Archives: consultation

The Road to Diamond, Day 149: A Slight Mismatch

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Personal goals, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 26, 2025- Four of us gave a concerted effort, in trying to put a tent inside a bag, at the end of the school district fundraiser. Realizing that the bag was too small, we found the equipment manager, who remembered how easy it was to put a smaller tent into another bag, earlier in the day. Mismatch!! Two of us took the smaller tent out and put the larger tent in the big bag. Then came small tent reunited with small bag.

Many of us go through mismatches in life-usually, as with the tents, a combination of feeling hurried, thinking there is no alternative and thinking “I know I can make this work!” So, jobs don’t get done quite as well as they might; relationships founder and end up either broken or stale; programs are left to grow sclerotic and useless. A handy equipment manager can’t always come to the rescue.

So, it becomes a matter of proactivity. Plan, one must; plan, we must. As I consider what lies ahead, calling on those who are on my team-for Baha’i community activities, for Red Cross events and responses to emergencies; for get-togethers during my time back East, seeking rightness of fit is a big item. It has been a fairly good run, these past several years, with few mismatches. Much of that was from what I learned in marriage-“Consultation is finding out”, was Penny’s mantra. It still serves me well.

The Road to Diamond, Day 74: Options Arise

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving

February 11,2025, Manila- Someone with experience in condominiums looked at the sheet which outlines amortization and pointed out everything that one gets when purchasing a condo. He then offered an alternative, the details of which must remain private, for now. Suffice it to say, the option would be completely above board, fair and would meet my relatively simple needs. It also met with my loved one’s approval. (She was less than thrilled with the condo idea. To be clear, the living arrangement on which I am working now is for me alone. My friend has her own place and any change in our status would be after I get established.)

It is said that any problem that arises contains the seeds of its resolution. The above is a case in point. It is my nature to consult experts, when confronted with something that leaves me like a deer in the headlights. When I’ve followed that practice, novel situations have turned out well. The few times I’ve tried to muddle through on my own have been disastrous. My gut always knows the difference.

I have also learned to practice consultation in relationships-be they platonic friendships or more intimate. Penny taught me that skill. Most of my relationships since have gone well. The few that imploded went south either because I was delusional or the other person had a hidden agenda-or two. K is the real deal, so our consultation is spot on, each and every day. Consultation always generates options, as well.

Some will be disappointed in the choices I make, but in case of the business matters, they will have factored in the possibility of getting ‘No’ for an answer. In the case of the people who want me to take on one task or another, I will work with them to make sure someone else of capacity is able to take on the duties. No one of us is irreplaceable.

Stay tuned. Dull moments are rare, this year.

The Face of Unity

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Family, impediments, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 20, 2024- “The core of a child’s education starts with the mother.” Upon my uttering that statement, a chorus of naysayers erupted with their buts, howevers and whatabouts. Methinks they missed the word core. A father does indeed have to stand alongside a mother, and augment the child’s learning. Grandparents and other adult relatives are the second layer of learning reinforcement. Teachers and neighbours, the “village” that it takes to raise a child, are the tertiary layer, and on outward it goes. No, friends, the entire village cannot be on top of the child, all at once.

Several of us were gathered in a comfortable Southwestern-style home, to ponder the question, “What does a unified community look like?” Much of the time was spent in putting forth, and sifting through, various and sundry individual points of view and reflections on life experiences that emanate from life in an often harsh and imperfect world.

Unity starts with respect for, and from, the individual. It proceeds outward, only when one has self-respect and when genuine respect for others emanates from oneself. That respect has to be a two-way street. A political conservative, even a reactionary, cannot advance real unity, without having respect for liberals and progressives. The converse is equally true.

Unity continues with each one having what my father called the courage of your convictions. True courage involves recognizing that what I think and feel does not have to be what anyone else thinks and feels-and the converse is also true. I can be equally at home talking with the members of my American Legion Post, or with conservative Christian friends, as I am among Progressive groups or those committed to social justice. Their opinions are not their souls.

Unity necessitates that the group be able to separate fact from fancy. It also goes back to respect: No adult has the right to live their life through their child, or even through their spouse. We live for our loved ones, and with them. Arriving at a point of unity means talking with the significant other, with the offspring, ascertaining everyone’s wants, needs, dreams and seeing what is most important for the group, and for each of its members. Penny’s mantra was “Consultation is finding out.” I can think of no better way to put it.

Do you think that submitting to the dictates of a strongman will solve the problems of the community, or of the nation? How does that affect the future of your children-both in the immediate and in the far future? Do they not have a say in the matter?

Want to invest in bitcoin? How will that impact your family or group of friends? Should you not discuss this fully with your near circle?

Wish you had a son, instead of a daughter-or vice versa? Does that give you the right to talk him/her into transitioning, even before full adulthood, or even before full puberty? How will that impact the life of that precious soul-tomorrow, next year, and ten, twenty, fifty years from now? Is that not an informed decision to be freely made by the person in question, as a mature adult?

It is well-known that I have deep feelings for someone who presently lives far from me. I also have deep feelings for my little family in Texas, for my siblings and extended family, across the continent and for all manner of friends in this community, and beyond. Any decision that I make, that impacts the life of any one of them, will actively take into consideration their thoughts, feelings and sensibilities. That is my path of unity.

The impact on unity of our decisions is large and small. Slight disunity is like a pebble in a shoe. Major disunity is like a brain tumour, or an abdominal stone. Most, if not all, of it can be avoided by consultation. The greater the chasm, the longer the bridge.

We did not arrive at a picture of what unity looks like, but we did leave the house with an overall sense of respect for one another. We did arrive at the realization that we are each primarily spiritual beings in physical bodies. We will proceed from there, in our deliberations.

Third Thoughts

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 12, 2024, Carson City- So often, when faced with novel situations, the mind goes through several gyrations-like the “lassie” in the nursery rhyme, who went “this way and that”. It can be confusing to onlookers, but it is frequently the only way a person can figure out the best way to work through the situation. Second thoughts can be overruled by third thoughts, as is the case with my dearest, right now.

So it is, with K and me, with regard to the possibility of my moving to be closer to her, in late Spring of next year. Some discussions will take place, through messaging, over the next three months, and in-person, when I next go back to the Philippines, in February. Stay tuned, and nothing is carved in stone.

I went to visit with the family of a long-time friend, who passed on while I was in Manila, last month. They spoke a lot about her earlier life and about their sibling’s adoption, so many years ago. They are showing cohesion as a family, a tribute to all the work their parents did to keep things together. Constant consultation kept peace in the house, when there were differing opinions.

While I was driving up here from Beatty, earlier today, I got a Bluetooth call from a friend who wanted to discuss a long-standing issue between him and another friend. The conversation revealed deeper issues than the matter being raised, and I urged the friend to be bold and reach out, in an unobtrusive manner to the person viewed as causing the problem.

Second thoughts often lead to third thoughts, and to resolution.

No Scrap Heap

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

August 29, 2024- “What of us, who are also your friends?”, the voice from 7,500 miles away came, through the medium of the printed Message. This was in reply to my statement that I surely must consult with my dear friend and with Faith community sponsors, before setting an itinerary for service work and other visits, a scant fourteen days from now.

That, however, does not inherently leave anyone out of my life. The Universe has a way of bringing people together when they are supposed to connect. My activities, both here at Home Base I and across North America, especially this year, have fallen into place at precisely the right time for all concerned. I have no reason to believe it will be any different during the upcoming sojourn in the Philippines. The only thing for certain is that, as always anymore, I am determined to not be a burden to anyone. Consultation will help obviate such a state of affairs.

The bottom line is, no one need feel consigned to the scrap heap. We need one another, more than ever, in this time of rapid change, which is likely to only accelerate over the next sixteen months, or longer. Lack of consultation and dearth of appreciation, breed conjecture, false narratives, conspiracy theories and outright mistrust. I will most likely have time to visit with the querulous friend. The visit will fall into the place that it is meant to occupy.

Embracing the Whole

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Education, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

June 4, 2022- This was a day for traveling the spectrum. Breakfast at Zeke’s was a time for recognizing that there will be a lot more to bringing about a Green Energy program than just cutting fossil fuel use on paper. Electric vehicles need those same fossil fuels in order to produce electricity, at least for now. I won’t argue the need to cut down on widespread use of fossil fuels. Towards that end, I am keeping my own vehicle in the best condition. Eventually, I will either get a hybrid or alt-fuel vehicle or live somewhere where a vehicle is not necessary.

Mid-day, a group of us discussed building vibrant communities and contributing to social transformation. These themes can only be realized by bringing people together, across points of view and by building on common ground. This is not as trite as many people seem to think, but it does entail some consistent hard work. Baha’is believe that consultation entails listening to what might, at first blush, seem objectionable points of view, and though we do not support those practices which would harm others or deny human rights, the mere expression of a viewpoint does not, in and of itself lead to tyranny. Once a point of view is expressed, it should be regarded as no longer the property of the person who expressed it, but as belonging to the group.

The final part of the day was spent helping a group of progressives at a community picnic. There were several booths, which highlighted such themes as registering to vote, banning Dark Money in political campaigns and tightening restrictions on sales of firearms to those assessed as mentally ill. I will help any group that is about the betterment of society and the preservation of Human Rights-which are God-given rights. I didn’t have to do much , but helping to break down the event was much appreciated. I even re-united a woman with her open-toed sandals.

Helping to transform society will be a lengthy process, requiring patience and perseverance- as well as an imperturbable open-mindedness.

Arrangements

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Personal Values, Social, Striving

August 22, 2021- I had to cancel, or actually postpone, a couple of medical procedures slated for this week. They will be reset for a time that suits both the provider and the people who are depending on me to help with continuity of instruction at Prescott High School. I have been there for the better part of two weeks already, and have no intention of abruptly springing an absence on an already understaffed faculty and an underserved student body.

The situation came about because the medical facility sent a reminder of the first procedure, at 4 p.m., Friday, when the school office had already closed and arrangements could not reasonably be made. In fairness, the medical facility itself is probably understaffed, at least on certain days.

This particular situation will be resolved in short order, with a brief consultation at the school and a phone call to the medical facility. Arrangements, however, always need to include as many of those affected by the course of events as is possible. Timing, when it involves consideration of people’s schedules and off hours, is of the essence. In a fast-paced environment, with very busy people and heavy workloads involved, arrangements are even more critical.

This brings me, briefly for now, to the issues that arise when even larger organizations are involved. There is the conceit of “need to know”, which engenders an exclusive mentality. Thus do large governments and corporations hand down decisions that affect millions, and not always after allowing an accessible medium for public comment. The evolution of public discourse is likely to change this process. Just how this will happen remains to be seen.

Fortnight of Transition, Day 14: Equinox, 2020

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Education, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

September 22, 2020-

The day of equal amounts of light and darkness has come just a tad later, this year. It’s just as well-too many things have been dumped on us, without warning, the first three seasons of this earthshaking year.

For me, autumn has ever been my favourite season, being the time of my birth. Gradual cooling and the vividness of colours have energized my being, after the increasingly extreme heat of summer, as much fun as the season just past brings with it. Bracing for the season of earth’s rest, that is winter, and the eventual promise of spring, makes “Fall” a most purposeful time, as well.

A few sprinkles fell, in our area, yesterday afternoon, as I was returning from a dental appointment, in Phoenix. My time in the Salt River Valley is limited, by choice, especially when temperatures remain in triple digits. Here in Prescott, we may expect temps in the 80s, until about mid-October. It may or may not rain, on any given day, though the National Weather Service rather lazily just pushes the button that says Sunny, as a default, most days. I imagine budget cuts and executive fiat may have something to do with that-as with the Post Office and FDA.

We all make choices, and as Penny would say-“You get all that comes with those choices.” She always made her own decisions, though asked what I thought, matter-of-factly, before doing so. Conversely, she expected me to do the same, and, after a previous life of bullheadedness and unilateral decisions, many not very well-made, I learned the wisdom of consultation.

I think of the above, as the inevitable debate about the life of Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and HER choices, ensues, this still being America. I disagreed, vehemently, with her take on abortion-though the role of men in that matter is largely one that ought to be performed LONG BEFORE any plug is pulled. Those men who raise their daughters, support their sisters and value their mothers, in the girls and women making their own INFORMED choices, are doing their jobs well. Those who downplay the intelligence and capabilities of the females among them, and pretend this is merely a man’s world, should not be surprised by anything at all that happens, as a result. Many, if not most, of the fetuses that have ended up aborted, (and whose souls no doubt greet those who aborted them, in the hereafter), would likely have either not been conceived in the first place, or would have been given an alternate path to life, had their mothers been raised in a place of love, empowerment and security.

The other real sticking point I had with RBG was her, take on “In God we trust”, which she saw as antiquated. I respectfully decline that observation. The Eternal cannot be so lightly dismissed, even in the name of free expression. In the end, though, “God hath no need of His creatures”; it’s very much the other way around.

Autumn plans? Well, I am spending today working with a Special Needs child. My Red Cross on-call status renews, tomorrow. During Fall Break, 10/12-16, I may go off on a sojourn, somewhere else in the West-and ditto for Veterans’ Day and Thanksgiving/ 70th birthday weekend. In any case, days and nights will remain productive and largely other-centered. (More on that topic, tomorrow).

The Summer of the Rising Tides, Day 47: Serendipity

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Inspiration, Personal Values, Poetry, Service Activities, Striving

July 17, 2020–

I was raised to do what is right,

for the long view.

It doesn’t matter

what’s immediately in it

for me.

This afternoon,

I was looking for something

specific,

for my own health needs.

I didn’t find one of the items.

I did find something

more beneficial to

someone’s business.

After a flurry of texts,

the item was procured,

and said business will now

be able to move forward.

Serendipity abounds.

On They Go

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Personal Values, Social, Striving

January 9, 2020-

My son, Aram, and daughter-in-law, Yunhee, have arrived, by now, in Boston.  They left here, early this morning, on the second leg of their family visits, after three days at Home Base.  We visited long-time family friends.  I was able to introduce Aram to several friends, whom Yunhee had met over the Christmas season:  The owner-proprietor at Ms. Natural’s; the cacao products maker, and her tea-crafter associate, at Synergy (Sedona natural coffee and tea shop); a local cosmetics distributor, and her sister, my dearest friend, of whom I can truthfully say that I am as close or as distant, as she wants  me to be.

We enjoyed fine dining and casual meals- and improvised meals at home.  We hiked a bit, in Sedona.  Mostly though, they had the safe space they needed, to process their respective paperwork and to make their calls, in a warm and comfortable house.  They left in good position, for the life that awaits them, when the family visits are over and establishing a household takes center stage.

The rising generations are doing just fine, from where I sit.   Their world view is measured, their choices informed and their dreams are grounded.  I have watched my little family work together, to solve serious matters and routine tasks which would be vexing for one person to do alone.  I see others who are struggling,  and keep them in prayer, daily, that they may get past their anger and resentment.  Learning to trust is probably one of the strongest skills I was able to impart to my son-especially learning to trust himself.

I know “the kids” will serve the world, and humanity, just fine.  They go on, with the vision and drive that will not ignore, or sweep aside, the major concerns which some currently in power find too complex for resolution.