Tag Archives: critics

Pre-Approved

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 22, 2024- An earnest woman offered advice to her long-time friend, regarding how to handle a nettlesome and persistent critic. He left the conversation, quietly, and headed home. A short time later, he called her and announced he was cutting ties with her, saying she was being unfair to the other person. Her own cage rattled, the lady called another friend, who told her to not pay heed to the man. “You are not worthless; you are pre-approved”.

We all know about “pre-approved”-the ploy by certain credit bureaus and financial institutions to get us to pursue lines of credit and personal loans, at what look like generous terms. Most often, a closer will come in, hem and haw and bring the deal to a good, old-fashioned shut down.

We humans are, however, pre-approved by the Creator, in the truest sense of the term. We each come with strengths, offerings, challenges to meet. Many of these are shared with others, but always in a way unique to the bearer. Each of us can make a special mark, or collaborate with those around us to create a tower of strength.

None of this depends on the approval of those on the outside of the process. Monday Morning quarterbacks can be useful in suggesting ways to correct errors in a given process, but they are not entitled to dismantle the effort, nor are they in a position to drag those who are in the vanguard of the action through the mud.

Post-mortems are best carried out by those who have given their all. Their skills, their energy, their willpower is pre-approved.

Vested

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 7, 2024- One of my occasional naysayers was online, this morning, leveling a mild gripe about a conflict between one of my scheduled activities and what she wanted me to do, on that day. In fairness, I had offered to help with her activity, about a month ago, and then the less popular event was scheduled. So, I went with the latter, knowing that there will be plenty of people to help with the first activity.

That is the downside of volunteering. Although no money changes hands and it is strictly a discretionary activity, there are egos and potential hard feelings involved. Some organizations even make a show of “firing” their volunteer staff, because not enough deference is shown to the higher-ups. There is at least one such supervisor, in an organization with which I offer my time and energy, who would love to send me packing. She is reduced to the silent treatment, as all hands are needed on deck-and my hands are still strong.

Truth be known, we who offer our services, gratis, are vested in the success of the endeavour. As I mentioned yesterday, every volunteer activity in which I do at least some good is a happy place. So, if my naysayers and critics find fault with what I do, or don’t do, that is on them.

Master Plans

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Posted by on in collaborating, impediments, Personal Values, Social, Striving

January 24, 2021-

Quite a bit has been made,

in the Sour Grapes Society,

of the fact that none

of the major issues

confronting our country

have been solved,

when the new President has had

five whole days to get ‘er done.

I’d love to see one of these geniuses

solve even ONE of the issues

facing us as a nation,

in even five YEARS.

I know it is above my pay grade

to ever serve at anywhere

near the level of the Presidency.

So, I wish him the best,

and hold no grudges

that my third party candidate

of choice did not win.

Our country is far bigger

than any one man.

This is something

that his on-fire critics,

a good many of whom are immigrants,

would do well to remember.

Otherwise, submit YOUR Master Plan.

Self-Belief

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, Education, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Spiritual, Striving

January 19, 2020-

I set out for a trailhead,

this noon,

and didn’t find it.

I will, though,

having come back here,

and used my ruler,

to apply the scale of miles.

I was asked to return

to the school where I worked

last week.

I will be back there,

to offer at least some

continuity.

Belief in myself

has come late,

and come hard.

There are still critics,

but they barely know me.

They only know

their own frustration,

and own pain.

There are boosters,

who do know me,

and for whose

presence

I am supremely

grateful.

I think of this,

after a day

of floundering,

and of considering

the words of friend,

foe, and in-between,

alike.

I am not floundering,

now,

and look to tomorrow,

and the week ahead,

as acts of service await.

Vulnerability and Soothing Blend

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Posted by on in distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Spiritual, Striving

May 11, 2019-

I just finished watching a TED Talk on “Shame”. This came about four hours after someone, with whom I was working as a volunteer, mildly upbraided me for not working at a paying job.  (This person is not working at a paying job, either.)

I am ever willing to stand outside and be vulnerable to criticism, knowing that a) I can’t live with myself, if I am not open and b) The critic is usually seeing, in  me, those things he or she dislikes about self.   That doesn’t mean the criticism never stings- and there are two people who I have banned from my life, in perpetuity, for barrages of that I consider unwarranted attacks. It does mean that those whom I trust, and who do not have hidden agendas, are to speak freely.

The presenter of the above-mentioned video spoke of shame as nearly always a prime impediment to a person being the true self.  Shame is imposed from within, though not always sans influence or instigation from someone else.  When I was younger, it was fairly easy, even for well-meaning people, to wreck my self-confidence and set in motion even false shame.

Since the days when my late wife was in my primary care, I have learned that there are unscrupulous people who will take to questioning even the most basic decisions a person can make- usually with a view towards financial benefit or other forms of power and control over the person they are questioning.  I have learned that there are those who will attack someone who is defending victims of crimes, almost always as a means of gaslighting or obfuscation.  Both of the people I mentioned above are gaslighters, and they came close to doing a good job of making me feel shamed.

There was just one difference, from the days of my youth:  Time, and hard lessons, have taught me the difference between acknowledging wrongdoing and buying into the script of a narcissist or tyrant.   So now, in an intervening period between jobs, I am not ashamed of not presently earning an income, outside of what I have already set aside for myself.  That situation will change- on my terms, not those of the retired critic.

I am not afraid to be vulnerable, or to experience life’s aches and pains.  The physical variety of these is relieved by what is called Soothing Blend (an oil-based ointment).  The spiritual variety is relieved by prayer, meditation and positive action.