Tag Archives: Golden Rule

The Road to Diamond, Day 232: Flex Time

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

July 18, 2025- Shortly after the founder of a small online devotional group requested that we say prayers, the co-facilitator launched into an anecdote that seemed to have been on her mind for some time. Those of us who had prayers ready to recite gave her our attention for the ten minutes that it took to share the story. Everyone got their words in, by the time the hour was up. It took flexibility to keep the founder, and others, from cutting off the lady and letting the intense story flow to its end. No humans were harmed in this process.

I was taught to seldom, if ever, take it upon myself to interrupt someone speaking, and much less, people in conversation-no matter how trivial their subject might sound to my ears. It was Mom’s idea of humility-and it has paid dividends, over the years. It also requires flexibility, because let’s face it, each of us regards our own ideas and agendas as being of some import. Giving everyone else the same grace, though, is the first sign that the light of maturity is a long-lasting LED, and not a flickering fluorescent tube.

There is another aspect to the notion of staying flexible in the course of one’s affairs. Certain moral concepts are non-negotiable, if we are to maintain civilized society. Private conversations should remain private. A pledge to help someone needs to be carefully thought out, before it is made; it then, must be fulfilled, to the best of one’s ability. Regard for our fellow humans needs to be held separately from differences of opinion. Recognition of a Higher Power is the bedrock upon which any successful life is lived.

There is plenty of room for flexibility, in each of those concepts. The lubricant of that flexibility is love.

Red and Blue

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

September 1, 2024- No, this is not about partisan politics, per se. It is about the concept, first advanced by Laurence Fishburne’s character, Morpheus, in The Matrix, of the effects of a red pill (leading one to question authority and research for oneself) and of a blue pill (acceptance of what one is told and not looking very deeply into even the most vital aspects of life).

Partisanship can enter into this, but there are those on both sides who blindly repeat what has been said by their favoured candidates and blindly castigate whatever has been said or done by whoever is representing the “other side”. Kids, the Divine put all of us here, and not we can blindly do anything. There are also those on both sides who question what is being put out there in the marketplace of ideas.

Personally, I want proof of what someone tells me or what is being bruited about on the Internet or on Talk Radio. I want to know their original sources, just as I expect someone to ask me-“Where’s the proof?” I recall when conservatives were primarily business people, whose livelihoods depended on a culture based on facts and figures. I recall when liberals were heart people, whose lives were based on the Golden Rule. There are large numbers of each who still adhere to those timeless values, and who do well when they respect each other’s place in a culture of balance, based on truth, not fantasy. These will straighten the mess out, if there is a mess, after the electoral process has played out.

People in “Blue” areas can take a red pill and those in “Red” states, a blue pill-and many do one or the other. My make-up makes the red pill a natural. You may choose otherwise, as befits your temperament. Remember, though, there are consequences for either choice.

Power Language

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 19, 2024- When I was a child, the concept that every blow delivered would be followed by an equal and opposite retaliatory strike was alien to me. I thought, naively, that a simple exchange of blows was enough for each boy to express his annoyance at the situation. My opponents uniformly believed that there had to be a winner and a loser.

There has been much discussion, over the past five years, about Love Language-the way in which an individual gives and receives love. My love language, for example, is acts of service. Words of affirmation, quality time and physical touch are secondary love languages-expressed only to a certain few.

Power is also a concept that is expressed in “languages” of sorts. (These are only my thoughts on the matter.) The power languages I have ascertained are persuasion, coercion, diminution, guilt-mongering and inclusion. The first and last are positive means to power. The second, third and fourth are negative, if not neurotic, power languages.


Both persuasion and inclusion involve patience, flexibility and a regard for others that is equal to one’s self-regard. Persuasion entails a commitment to a lengthy engagement with those whose agreement and co-operation are desired. Inclusion entails an inherent regard for the other person’s, or group’s, sense of self-worth. Inclusion is a longer game, in which the perception of power, coming from within the self, is large enough a reservoir that the individual sees others as being of the same worth as self. The two power languages do not entail a lesser view of either oneself or any other human being. They may even extend to non-human animals, plants, funga and spirits.

Coercion, often involving physical force, but also including bribery, co-opting, blackmail and obfuscation, is the most common historical power language. Even in modern times, the cynic’s Golden Rule, “He who has the gold makes the rules”, has silenced those whose financial or time-management skills are sufficiently wanting, that a keen observer who is hungry for power can leverage the person’s weakness and buy or intimidate them into giving up their agency.

Diminution, the convincing of social groups of their own unworthiness and of the superiority of others, is a second very common historical power language. It is the modus operandi of the plantation, of the colonial system and of patriarchy. Diminution depends on a top-down decision-making apparatus. It goes beyond the sensible system of parenthood, infantilizes women, disempowers adolescents, and instills a sense of superiority in members of a dominant culture. This is most obvious in the notions of White Supremacy and Male Superiority, but is also true of any culture where a dominant group trivializes the contributions of marginalized communities.

Guilt-mongering is the “when all else fails” power language of dominance. It features self-as-victim, gaslighting, false equivalence and an “after all I’ve done for you” pitch, each of which is like a rock in a shoe, designed to nettle and disrupt the other’s concentration and sense of well-being. It manifests itself in endless legal appeals and slow-walking of valid processes, just enough to create doubt and suspicion. It is a favoured tool of those among the well-connected who lack a moral compass. It is also a favoured tool of those in the media whose primary concern is generating revenue, at the expense of morality.

We are seeing a slow, but inexorable, move towards persuasion and inclusion as preferred power languages. The futility of coercion, diminution and guilt-mongering is being seen by more and more people around the world, as their perceived value is recognized, more and more, as impermanent, ephemeral and of scant overall value. The language of power will, in time, become linked to the language of love.

Useful Metrics, from A Brief Job

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

February 2,2024- Today was Imbolc, a day of spiritual renewal for Naturists and Wiccans, some of whom are my friends. While the origins of their Faiths are found in the mists of time, many of their guiding principles go along with those of more recently revealed Faiths, including Baha’i. Not the least of these shared principles is the Golden Rule, the real one, that states “Treat others as you wish to be treated.” It was also Groundhog Day, and there will, apparently, be six more weeks of winter, since Phil didn’t see his shadow.

I spent the morning with two groups of Freshman Success students, who were mainly occupied with things like Typing Tests, real world skills-like how to buy a car and, of course, teen life. One savvy teacher has a set of metrics posted on her wall. These include: ”Listening, Being respectful, Fairness,Nicety,Kindness, Appropriate conduct,No put-downs, Effort and Honesty.” I intend to keep a record of my own performance, in those areas.

There was another set of metrics, in poster form, on a closet door, adjacent to the teacher’s desk. Here they are: ”Be yourself; think young; laugh often; forgive quickly; be happy; love deeply; dream big; take chances; be grateful; have no regrets; play hard; be spontaneous; let go; never give up.” I have practiced most of these, at least as an adult-and gotten better at several. 

Having shared all this with my most treasured friend, I bring these into my wider circle. Anyone is welcome to point out when you see me lapsing-just remember to be constructive. It was a pleasant start to Hiking Buddy’s birthday weekend, this evening, with a dinner at a small fine dining establishment, called BigA (pronounced big-uh). The fresh ingredients were delectably put together, for both of our meals.

Weather, work and even a stuck red light were no impediments. Imbolc was a fine day.

Close The Gate

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Striving

July 4, 2023- No, not THAT gate! Anyone familiar with ranch culture would tell you that the phrase is one of the first instructions given a child growing up, and is expected of family members and visitors alike, when going out of the portal that keeps livestock confined. It is a generalized ethic, that calls for each member of the ranch community to keep all others in mind, in everything one does.

Baha’u’llah admonishes us to “Be fair to yourself and others.” This teaching applies to all situations, and is, when you think about it, a prerequisite to a peaceful world. Even one’s sworn enemy deserves to be treated with dignity and have good qualities acknowledged.

So, courtesy and fair treatment start with our dealings with family, then with neighbours, community members, in the work place and on up the chain to state, nation and the world as a whole. Nowhere is this more critical, and often overlooked, than when engaging with traffic.

At the conclusion of a most well-orchestrated fireworks display, this evening in Prescott Valley, there was a potentially unwieldy amount of traffic that had to be moved along. We have a deeply ingrained “four-way stop” mentality here, so there was a smooth egress system that kept things moving, albeit slowly, with people alternating exiting, even when there was a five-way reality, as each lane was honoured in its turn.

“Close the gate”-just not in the neighbour’s face!

These Messes

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 31, 2023- The video showed three men piling gallon bottles of various laundry detergents into shopping carts, with a caption that the men were shoplifters. No actual footage was shown of them actually leaving the store without paying for the items. Indeed, for many corporations, the policy is to terminate any employee who films shoppers-or shoplifters, for that matter.

There are several cities, responding, I am told, to Federal guidelines for reducing prison populations, that have decriminalized “petty theft”. While the majority of us, of any ethnicity, don’t have the hubris to just up and steal everything they want, there have always been those who believe it’s their right to take-free of charge. This, of course, drives up costs to the retailer-or wholesaler-insurance, loss prevention staffing, legal fees and the expenses inherent in NOT being able to keep shoppers and employees safe, in and around a store. Thus, prices go up, more people bristle at the cost of living and-you see the pattern.

Decriminalizing theft of less than $1000 worth of merchandise, like decriminalizing publicly relieving oneself, living in public parks or in front/back of buildings or aggressively panhandling, is seen by its proponents as the lesser of two evils. Crimes against property, after all, are not the same as crimes against people.

Two things: 1. The two classes of offense intersect at a certain point. Relatively few people can, or want to, live a DIY lifestyle. That means that commercial products need to be affordable-for everyone. When crimes against property pass a certain threshold, people get hurt-and not just in the wallet. The thieves, in the end, become tigers chasing their own tails-and everyone else, including the family and friends of a thief, has to pay extra. No one can live a falsely gratuitous lifestyle in perpetuity, especially in this age of surveillance.

2. The culture of greed starts at the top of the food chain. The mentality of the Hedge Fund or Private Equity groups and managers who buy up properties, in what is known as “Snap-Up Culture” is oftentimes several degrees separate from the needs of the communities in which those properties lie, or which the businesses located in them serve. The “Golden Rule”, stated way back in 1995, in the Disney animated film, “Aladdin”, is “He who has the gold, rules”. Of course, this does not paint all such investors with a broad brush, but there is a critical mass being reached-and those watching from outside the circle are drawing the wrong conclusions. They, too, are deciding to take without giving back.

The transition, from exclusivity to its opposite, is a series of messes. All transitions that are not completely thought through, are messy. Conservatives respond to the chaos by calling for stronger policing; reactionaries, by advocating One-Party rule and a return to the days of privilege and exclusion. Those on the Far Left don’t think change is happening quickly enough. Some call for reparations to be given the descendants of the enslaved, though how such descendants might be determined is open to question. Others call for beating those who oppose abortion, while some on the opposite end of the spectrum think bringing back lynching is still on the table.

I’ve gone past my usual limit, so let’s end with this: How costly is it to consider the rational and reasonable elements of a social opposite’s belief system? How detrimental to one’s well-being is it to follow the original Golden Rule? A physical, elemental world revolves around limits-some temporary, others fixed. We can attain much in this life; just not everyone, everywhere, all at once.

The Overlooked Angst

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Historical, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 30, 2023- The big news of the day seems to be the indictment of Donald J. Trump, on charges of paying off at least one paramour-albeit before he was a candidate for President. It is, of course, important to bear in mind that he is now to be presumed innocent until proven guilty, in our system of justice.

Trump is a hero to many who hold ultraconservative beliefs. Rightly or wrongly, these people regard him as the last hope for maintaining a social order to which they have become accustomed, over several generations. An examination of history, however, shows that no social order remains static, in perpetuity.

A social system and an economy that profited off enslavement existed in many nations, across the Americas and in much of western and northern Europe, for nearly 350 years. It was gradually dismantled, over several decades of the Nineteenth Century, although its residue remained-in the forms of Jim Crow laws, social and commercial segregation and barriers to suffrage, for nearly a hundred years after the emancipation of the enslaved-in several countries and most prominently in the United States. There are those who equate Civil Rights for people of colour with a decline in the standard of living for white people.

A significant percentage, and for part of our history a majority, of the American population, has adhered to one denomination or another, of the Christian Faith. The increase in the percentage of the American people who adhere to spiritual traditions other than Christianity has left many aghast.

A key underpinning of American culture has been self-reliance. People have been brought up to be neighbourly, but not to depend on others, and especially not on the government, to provide for their well-being. Greed and mistrust, resulting in tragedy and suffering, have led, over the past 120 years, to various policies of the Federal, state and local governments that are intended to safeguard the public against the excesses of the few.

Into the climate of overlooked angst, among people of traditional bearing, have stepped many demagogues, over the past 150 years. They have stoked the fears of those for whom the rapid pace of change has proved overwhelming. They have tapped into a culture of profiting off those fears and have obfuscated, deflected the nature of those changes. They have gaslit the people who have legitimate grievances and turned reasonable arguments for change and reform on their heads.

Those who sincerely honour the Ten Commandments, which are based on the Golden Rule, have nothing to fear from the rising tide of inclusivity. Conversely, those who sincerely want to bring a true sense of fairness into the national fabric have nothing to fear from those who practice the Golden Rule, in a traditional manner. What each does have to fear, besides fear itself, is the aftermath of their opposite numbers being duped into engaging in violence against them.

The only path to peace in the house is in gleaning the validity of points raised, regardless of where on the political spectrum those points originate-and proceeding from common ground. Society cannot stand on a zero-sum foundation.

Ownership

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Education, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Striving

August 22, 2022- It is essential to own what’s yours.

It was an “oops” morning. I had made a wrong notation on my place of assignment, for this morning’s efforts. As far as I can figure, two assignments popped up, at the same time, and I clicked on one, while mentally registering the other. It all worked out, and I did some good work at Location B. Once done, an acknowledgement of my error was in order, and Supervisor gave me a pass-and a pat on the back, for overall excellent work. It pays to own one’s behaviour and its results.

It is essential to relinquish what is no longer yours. The title to Saturn Vue was returned to me, due to a slight gap in communication, itself stemming from momentary uncertainty from the insurance companies and body shop, as to the reparability of the vehicle. This afternoon, I returned the title, one more time, to the insurance company. This time, it will stay with them, as the law requires. Kia Sportage is now my road friend, and the settlement funds were transferred to the dealership, as agreed.

It is essential to own one’s love for humanity. I returned to the Open Feed, in which I assisted two weeks ago, letting the team know that my absence last week had nothing to do with having been threatened by a disgruntled homeless man. God knows, I ignore threats and go with what my heart says. The diners thanked me for ladling the soup, after which it was prudent to help the lone janitor by folding up chairs, so that he could focus on vacuuming the huge carpet. There is no daylight between my feelings for homeless veterans and undocumented immigrants; for people of colour and “rednecks”; for known friend and “stranger”.

It is essential to own one’s dignity and worth. Love for humanity does not mean enabling the grifter, the liar, the imposter. In fact, the opposite is true. Making such people either follow the Golden Rule, or cutting off all contact with them, is the true loving choice. I have elaborated on that, previously, but mention it here, lest trolls try to engage in false equivalency.

It is essential to own what’s yours, and relinquish what isn’t.

Baby Steps to Justice

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, impediments, Personal Values, Striving

February 22, 2021-

I spent most of today waiting for my tax return to be done. I ended up having to make a certain adjustment in my personal financial structure, so as to be in compliance with government regulations. It will end up costing the government more, in the long run, but who’s counting?

After that, I checked on my jury interview for tomorrow, and it’s still on. If I get chosen, it will likely be my first and last time, given that the pool is large and I have only five years until the cut-off age of 75. So, I will go and get at least a taste of the selection process.

Justice, at least in the human realm, is an odd thing-as everyone’s concept of it is different. Even among those who adhere to the Golden Rule, there are varying notions of what justice is, and how it ought to be applied. I have, by and large, been fortunate in the course of life events. When misfortune has happened, though, it has taken some time and effort to overcome the urge to deflect blame and to focus, instead, on how I might learn from the unpleasantry.

The lessons I have acquired and internalized, however, made today’s challenges much easier to face and the tasks brought on by them quicker to complete.

The Conscious Step Away From An Abyss

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Posted by on in collaborating, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Spiritual, Striving

November 20, 2019-

So, it now happens that, if I want to truly understand what Jordan Peterson is trying to say, in his Twelve Rules for Life, I will have to actually read his book.    The reason is the depth of Rule 9.  A simple synopsis is: Understand Your Dark Side. Know exactly that of which you are capable, and resolve not to do it.

Each of us has a dual nature, which is exactly why Christ endured 40 days of temptation and His Crucifixion.  He wanted us to know that the path away from self-destruction lay totally in following the Teachings of the Divine, which derive, essentially, from the Golden Rule.  Not only acts of goodness, but consciousness and dismissal of, the darkness within.  Baha’u’llah endured the indignity of His tormentors, who included many within His own family, that we may see the two paths down which we might each go, and that we may choose  the Path of Light.

I have had struggles, all throughout this life, and only after enduring Penny’s disease, vicariously- and as her caretaker; only after wrestling with left-over baggage, following her passing, and making a conscious decision to turn aside from the darkness, have I ended up in a place of Light.  So, I get the gist of what Dr. Peterson speaks here.  Seeing the dark, and teetering on the edge of it, is debilitating. Seeing the goodness, and nurturing it, sends the spirit soaring.