Tag Archives: hierarchy

The Road to Diamond, Day 166: Preferences

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Posted by on in Community, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

May 13, 2025, Oley, PA- I was asked whether I prefer one family member over another, one generation over the others and, for that matter, one nationality of people over the rest. Basically, I do not indulge in any of that.

In terms of what the U.S. Vice President said, not long ago, about the rank order or priority of love that a person can show, there is something of a natural order by which one shows love. This, to me, is the truncated pyramid or perhaps the high rise structure, or even just a continuum, of caring and affection that I feel. Of course, I tend to myself and my own needs first, so that others don’t have to. My son, daughter-in-law and, in time, grandchild(ren) come next. My siblings and extended biological family follow, and on it goes through community, state and nation. The rest of humanity is hardly left out, though-dear friends live in several countries around the world.

I was asked whether I would have to choose one set of relationships over another. Each of the people involved know that I would not exclude them for the sake of those in another set. I have to divide my physical time as equally as possible, and there are tools for that. The use of technology makes such things much easier than they would have been say, even ten years ago. Being able to be in one place and deal equitably with people who are elsewhere is a godsend. I was able to sit here in a friend’s house, this afternoon, and meet with other friends in Arizona. I can send a birthday gift to a dear friend in the Philippines, without too much trouble, from the comfort of any given locus in the U.S.

Most important to keeping equity in relationships though, is deferred attention-and transparency. Those who have high emotional needs can be made to feel understood and comforted, without my having to give them day-long, or hours-long attention, to the detriment of on what else and who else I need to focus. Being able to meet individually with family pr friends helps to strengthen my bond with them, and underscores that they are important to me, in and of themselves.

These thoughts come to mind, as I sit contentedly in an old country kitchen.

Knife’s Edge

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Posted by on in collaborating, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Striving

January 26, 2020-

I don’t have to live for adventure.  It finds me, in large and small ways-both close by and farther afield, nearly every day.  It’s likely that this happens because of my tendency, albeit fairly recent, to focus on what’s around me with intensity and alacrity.  The spiritual discussion we had this morning, for example, opened my mind to a much wider view of what constitutes meditation.  As many messages from my spirit guides come during intense meditation, it’ll be interesting to see which messages arise from some of the avenues that were suggested by participants in the group.

Jordan Peterson, in discussing the presence of hierarchy and of laws, in human society, points out that, with all the potential perils and thousands of stimuli that we face each day, multiplied over the lifespan of the human race, it would have been well nigh impossible for humanity to have achieved anything close to what we see in our historical-and “pre-historical” record, let alone what exists today, through human ingenuity, without some sort of organization.  It’s worth noting that most species of animals have some sort of hierarchy.

Life has, indeed, many aspects that play out on a knife’s edge, so to speak.  Just in my small sphere of existence- there is a 69-year-old body, that has remained quite healthy, give or take a few dental issues, some staph infections on my skin and a couple of joint inflammations, which have gone away, with treatment; there is my well-maintained car, which is likely to see me through local driving-and a long journey around North America, this summer-and more local driving next autumn, through winter.  My cars, when not the object of tampering, or abuse prior to my ownership, have lasted a very long time.  My work history has certainly played out, on a knife’s edge.  Each experience, though, has taught me a myriad life lessons-ditto, for my friendships, and other encounters.

So, the large and the small of it will likely long continue-relatively speaking.  20-30 years, if I have left what some have told me I have, is relatively short, but a lot can be packed into it.

 

 

Conversation

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Posted by on in children, Education, Social

April 20, 2017, Prescott-

Boy:  “You’re old!”

I:  “True, that.”

Boy:  “You have no friends.”

I:  “Actually, I do.  One is very special to me.  Many others are also in my heart.”

Boy:   “No one has friends, so that’s a lie.”

I:  ” Well, I have friends.”

Boy:  “Pants on fire!”

I:  “Her name is _____”.

Boy:  “She doesn’t exist.”

I:  “She would beg to differ.”

Boy:  “People treat ME, like I don’t exist.”

I:  “You very much exist, to me.”

Boy:  “Well, no one likes you, or me.”

I:  ” That’s sad to know.”

Boss:  “Alright, you two.  Quiet in there!”

I:  Silence

Boy:  ” See what I mean.  She would rather we don’t exist.”

I:  “No.  You just need to follow rules.”

Boy:  “I’ll never follow rules, ever!”

I:  Silence

Second boss:  “_______, sit against that wall for one minute, then come out.”

Boy: (After five minutes of not sitting against the wall:  “Let me out, so I can do what the first teacher said.”

I:  “Certainly.  Go clean up your mess.”

Boy:  Goes and cleans mess.

Second boss:  “Hey!  You didn’t follow MY instruction!!”

I:  ” Look at what he’s actually doing.  Let’s choose our battles.”

Second boss: “We’ll have this conversation later.”  (Leaves room in a huff.)

Boss, to boy:  “Welcome back, _______!  Thank you for following instructions.”

I:   “Let’s follow the rest of the plan.”

Boy:  “Okay, Mr. B.  Thank you for putting up with me.”

(The above is an altered version of a tale out of school, indicating what is wrong with both the education system and the American concept of hierarchy. The biggest lie ever told is “Children should be seen and not heard.”)