Tag Archives: integrity

Integrity

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 21, 2024- It didn’t surprise me, when United States Attorney General nominee, Matt Gaetz, withdrew his name from consideration, citing the legal maelstrom surrounding his public and private behaviour. The man at least showed enough integrity to not want the country to be saddled with focusing on the allegations against him, at a time of transition. For that, he deserves our collective thanks.

No one, male or female, deserves anything but opprobrium for proven actions against minor children or any other vulnerable people. Whatever Gaetz might face as a private citizen remains to be seen. This, however, goes beyond ideology or one’s place on the political spectrum. For that matter, it transcends “race”, “nationality”, “creed” or “sexual orientation”. I remember when various Presidential aides and at least one Congressman were caught up in investigation of ethics violations. There were a business-oriented Republican, an Old South Democrat and an African-American liberal Democrat. My father had harsh words to say about each one.

Integrity is an equal opportunity quality, as are all virtues. Everyone can summon it, when it serves their purpose. The trick is to have that purpose meld with doing right by the people, and by the nation. Matt Gaetz did so, today. Let’s see it become standard behaviour, from our public servants-across the board.

Using One’s Own Voice

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, impediments, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Striving

May 26, 2023- Recently, I have fallen into the habit of writing to my Senators and Congressman, using pre-written responses, with which I read beforehand and with which I generally agree. The Senators respond, with generalities and vague statements of understanding. Not so, our new Congressman, whose response, yesterday, was essentially ‘When you write me, use your own words, preferably in an e-mail or response posted to my newsletter.’

What a refreshing reminder! Although there is much that he says with which I disagree, sometimes vehemently, the Congressman reminds me of the late John McCain and Barry Goldwater, with both of whom I also begged to differ, quite often. The fact remains, however, that when we get too caught up in parroting the words of others-or worse, parroting the words of an Artificial Intelligence tool, our own integrity suffers, no matter how much we may agree with what the author is saying.

Pablum is a food for infants. Verbal Pablum is not something that will resolve any issues or the problems reflected by those issues. I sat down and read the Congressman’s newsletter, then addressed a couple of issues he raised, in a concise and respectful manner. So long as our differences are a matter of how each of us sees the world, there is no call for anything less. His overriding concern is maintaining integrity in government. As that is also my concern, we ought to be able to keep in respectful dialogue.

Not Even….

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, distraction issues, Education, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 2, 2022- Perception is 9/10 of reality.

The young woman stood resolutely in front of me, demanding to now why I was focusing my attention on her small group of friends. It was simple: They were not working as expected, and had no intention of doing so. A flood of “whatabout___ and_____” was offered as a rebuttal to my reminders to get the work done. Those groups had completed their assignments, and thus earned her scorn. Being found wrong is a hard thing at any age, but particularly at 15 or 16.

Nonetheless, there is much to respect and admire about Leah (not her real name). Her work habits of this morning aside, she has more integrity in her thumbnail than a good many adults I know. I will also never discourage forthrightness and speaking truth to power. I am sure that she regarded my watching them as a form of stalking, a suspicion borne of God knows what unwanted attention, from whom.

This was one of those occasions where I stepped outside of myself-seeing a mistake in approach to a management problem and drawing insight on how I might have done things differently. A skipped assignment can always be made up. It was explained to me later, by an administrator, that Leah was having a hard time of late. As mentioned earlier, there is always a back story.

This is all a bit ironic, as for 43 of my 45 years in education, my focus has always been the well-being of the child. (The first two years were spent in a system where teachers were feeling their way out of the Dark Ages, and my track record was not all that wonderful. Remorse and atonement are wondrous things.)

As it happened, later on today, a case of verbal harassment of another student was handled swiftly-and the miscreant ended up apologizing to his target-and to the class. I am favourably impressed by the administrators at that school.

As for Leah, and any student-especially a girl or young woman-the thought of me looking upon her with lascivious eyes- ummm, not even! Perception is 9/10 of reality, however-so, it’s wise to mind the perception.

No Grooming

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Education, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

October 24, 2021- The earnest, committed statements of the polished man gave the young ladies a feeling of relief, and over the ensuing year, they gave him their trust. Little by little, he played on their insecurities, while feigning admiration for their accomplishments. Little by little, he turned them into his personal playthings. Little by little, his baser nature took over, and their self-esteem plummeted.

Many people, over the centuries, have claimed to be advocates and standard bearers for the rights of the less fortunate, while pursuing a far more hideous agenda. This has been true of fields as varied as religion, education, social work and law enforcement. What has fueled the pernicious appetites of judges and politicians has done the same for teachers, police officers, and clergy. It is the person inside, not the uniform or the title, that has led to so much betrayal.

The road to clarity and integrity in this, and other matters of trust, is not always a smooth one. The thing I noticed, long ago, is that those who indulge in surreptitious seduction always get caught. The minute the focus becomes personal gratification, and not helping a client or associate realize her/his dreams, the slope has been greased and the downfall begins.

I think of these scenarios, as I learn of the successes, and struggles, of young women whose personal growth and self-actualization was a huge part of my professional focus, from 1981-2011-and which still is a significant part of my work. My work was to provide very clearly-defined safe havens-and there were no strings attached. I guess the saving grace was that I was in a committed marriage-and since Penny’s death, the primary commitment to helping people-women and men alike- to become their strongest and most secure selves- has remained unshakeable.

Strong women cannot be groomed-and strong men don’t need to try.

The Summer of the Rising Tides, Day 68: Staying Authentic

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

August 7, 2020-

There is a fact of life, especially in today’s America, that owning one’s viewpoint, life choices and spirituality comes at a cost. There are always going to be those who think they know your needs better than you yourself know them. Being in charge of own life is not a cakewalk. Others, especially online, will appear, with demands, expectations and preferences, which may or may not dovetail with what one has planned.

You may say, “Well, isn’t that how it is, in ANY social situation?” Yes, and with seven billion and umpty-ump million people on the surface of the Earth, it will get more intensely so. The fact remains, however, that at the end of the day, it is whether I can look in the mirror and honestly say that I lived the day in a state of integrity, hopefully tempered with humility, that makes the day well-spent, or not.

I have been questioned, recently, as to why I might agree with points raised by conservatives, on one day; then agree with points raised by progressives, another day. The answer is easier than it looks. Neither group is qualitatively engaged in refuting the other’s points, with regard to those points with which I am agreeing. For example, if I say an unborn child ‘s life is worthy of EVERY reasonable effort at maintaining its efficacy, that does not mean I am advocating vicious hounding of a woman who is heading into an abortion clinic. In reality, that person should not be HOUNDED or pressured by EITHER faction in the matter. She should be enveloped, bathed, in love and have all options presented to her, in a pressure-free, NON-MERCENARY atmosphere.

If someone asks me to approve or disapprove of the current sitting President, I can honestly say I approve of his work in stemming the trafficking of women and children. I honestly approve of his working with the governments of Latin American countries, in stopping the flood of people from out of those countries and stemming the influence and aggressive behaviour of gangs-especially in Central America. There are other policies of his, of which I vehemently disapprove- such as the sending of a large corps of armed DHS agents into some of our cities-without first coordinating the effort with local governments. That situation seems to be getting more consultation-based. The COVID-19 response is a whole other can of worms-and much of the difficulty lies in both individual mindsets and in the diversity of local situations, across the country-but I digress.

Essentially, my life is not meant to be lived by going about and seeking to be a font of agreement, with each person, on each issue. I have, however, the conviction that each person who crosses my path does have points to offer, that may well be of help, in making my life more authentic. This life is still a work in progress, as is everyone else’s.

My Faith will remain as is; my heart for people will stay in place; my mind will remain flexible, as we have learned that anything can happen.

The Summer of the Rising Tides, Day 66: Inclusive or Exclusive

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

August 5, 2020-

I have recently had to address the issue of whether I am taking firm stances on matters, or am just flip-flopping, in order to keep disparate groups of friends happy. The truth of the matter is this: I can extract grains of truth in the statements and positions held by friends and family who may not agree with me, and who definitely do not agree with one another.

I look at it this way. We all came from the same Heavenly, Universal Source. Whether people’s ideologies or theologies allow for it, there is only one Creator, one Energy that has brought all life into the Universe, the Milky Way Galaxy, the Solar System and the Planet. Some get hung up on names, on fear of demons, on duality. These last two concerns are certainly prudent, in my book. God does not want us to be consumed by Dark Energy.

We are meant to be beings of Light. We are meant to be reverent, just, loving to one another, regardless of which God-oriented or Light-directed creed to which we adhere. Again, I can tell the difference between Light and Dark. Even in the case of Dark masquerading as Light-the hate reveals itself in short order-as I learned nearly two years ago.

So, I tell myself-and those I love, to “Live Your Truth”. By doing so, mistakes will be revealed and we may then choose to correct- or to persist in error. God knows, I have had to make several corrections, over the years.

There are, though, things about which I will never cave:

  1. Every conceived life is sacred, and worthy of the effort at saving and fostering.
  2. Every born child is sacred, and worthy of nurturing and protection. Despite the position of Word Press, that children’s rights is not an acceptable term for use as a tag, I will continue to hold it in my heart as a talisman. SHAME on the administrators of this platform, for taking such an oppostional stance on this issue.
  3. Every case of suspected abuse or neglect of a child or teenager merits full investigation and the pursuit of justice-no matter HOW HIGH UP in status the suspected abuser sits.
  4. Every sentient being is worthy of respect and dignity.
  5. God never leaves Mankind alone, to our own devices. We have free will, and we are given parameters within which that free will may be used for the full development of our virtues.
  6. When among all Light-oriented beings, I choose to be inclusive. When confronted by Dark forces, my barrier will go up. I am grateful that this last has only had to happen three times, in my entire life.

The Summer of the Rising Tides, Day 59: The Ties that Bind

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

July 29, 2020-

It is easier to mend connections with people through acts of integrity, than by insisting on that which injures their feelings and ignores their perceptions. So it has come to my banishing memes and shared posts, which have only served to confuse some of my online friends, while not exactly elucidating my own views.

A personal blog, or social media page, can’t really serve as a marketplace for ideas. That role is for the comments section, which is hopefully governed by rules of civil discourse. I have set such rules for my other social media site, and, only on two instances have I had to delete toxic comments which got past the Akismet filters on this site.

My focus is, more than ever, on fostering the ties that bind us. One commenter on my other site recommended that we all view differences as diversity, rather than as divisions. Seeing nuggets of commonality takes a great deal of self-discipline and patience, not often evident in times of widespread confusion, such as these. Yet, it remains that this sort of vision is the only way we can, as a species, get out of this confusion.

Our strands of Dioxyribonucleic Acid are the most basic tools we have, for keeping us tied. Let us look to those DNA features that are common, that lead to our shared esperiences and visions.

No Stones Unturned

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving

April 24, 2020-

“To whom much is given, much is expected.”  I have heard this since childhood, and know that it has applied to me, more often than not.  It has given rise to two key aspects of my personality:  Owning my mistakes and never walking away from a fight.

The first has led me to admit, readily, when I’m wrong, even if it has meant the loss of a job.  That admission has then propelled me to look into WHERE I went wrong and to investigate further into the issue at hand.  When called out, I have to recognize where the critic is correct, but also not take either the information that is being challenged or the critic’s position at face value.  It has quite often ended up with the silver lining of the truth being uncovered.  As ‘Abdu’l-Baha once wrote:  “The shining spark of truth cometh forth only after the clash of differing opinions.”

Standing up to someone who is more aggressive has been ingrained in me, since childhood.  I did walk away, once, from a beat down, when I was in VietNam. That was a matter of not walking into something that would have been detrimental to both me and the individual who was seeking the confrontation.  I would have suffered possible head injuries and he, being on thin ice with the military brass, would have looked at a long stretch in Leavenworth.  He eventually realized that, after a period of harping on my refusal to engage in a bare-knuckled fist fight.

That was an anomaly.  What was consistent is that I didn’t run away crying.  I never have.  Back in Saugus, that would only have brought more trouble down on my head.  Life since then has been much the same.  I’ve had a lot of positive experiences in life, because of  being willing to stand up to aggression. In the process, also, many innocents have been spared-especially when helping abused children speak truth to power.

I think about these tonight, in working to get to the bottom of  some rather deep controversies being sparked by the words of our president-and of some of his critics.  Both sides are tossing brickbats.  I will get hit by some of those, but have no choice other than to go about finding the truth.

Authenticity

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Posted by on in Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Spiritual, Striving

January 5, 2020-

In all the debate about sin, evil and the unfortunate events of life, there is a place for consideration of being real versus living in what one knows, deep down, to be a fallacy; of being authentic versus being inauthentic.

Jordan Peterson, in Twelve Rules for Life, points to the allegories of Lucifer, and of the Egyptian demon-figure, Set, as illustrations of the dangers posed by over-rationalization.  It is, in effect, the opposite of taking ownership of one’s life, responsibility for one’s actions.  Satan always comes up with an excuse for what he’s done-and it’s always someone else’s fault-even God’s fault.  This allegorical depiction of wickedness lays it out straight,though.  Only integrity, ownership of one’s behaviours-and of their outcomes, will serve to bring about a life well-lived.

I had to learn that the hard way.  Losing a spouse brings a person to account, faster than just about anything, even if-as in my case- it isn’t directly one’s fault.  I could not, however, blame anyone for Penny’s passing.  Hereditary disease would have struck her down, at some point, regardless, and all I can do is learn from the experiences of care-taking and of widowhood.  I have taken the lesson that a life of integrity may only be lived if the person living it  maintains authenticity.

Deceit erodes that integrity, first within one’s own heart, then gradually outwardly through one’s circle of friends, one’s family, one’s tribe.  A life without trust is a life of emptiness.

I am fortunate, to have reached a point where authenticity is something of which I am no longer ashamed or embarrassed.

 

Closure

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Posted by on in Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Striving, Uncategorized

May 22, 2019-

I was invited, by my former building principal, to attend an end-of -year barbecue.  I went, and he greeted me pleasantly at the door.  A few former co-workers exchanged small talk, and I had a nice lunch. Predictably, some of the elite in my former department turned their backs when I sat down.  That’s what they do.  I did not budge from my seat.

Closure, in a stratified environment, is often hard to achieve.  I give the principal, and my former team members credit, though, for having the integrity to not define me by the unfortunate misunderstandings that led to discretion being the better part of valour, last month.  The principal did what he had to do, and everyone else adjusted.  There was simply no time, or space, for a proper investigation into the false accusations.  I know this, from having been in his shoes.  There are some very fluid situations, on occasion, and time does not wait around.  The safety of students is what matters most.

Education will continue, and will hopefully continue to improve.  I will keep on going and, even if I find it difficult to remain in this community after this Fall, I will find peace wherever I am.  At least I have closure, with regard to leaving my post.