International Women’s Day

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March 8, 2026- I had the best of intentions, ordering a lox and tomato bagel for my daughter-in-law , for International Women’s Day, especially as it was part of the local bagel shop’s fundraiser for prevention of violence against women and girls. Saved By The Bagel is a take-off on a popular 1980s sitcom, “Saved by the Bell”. Yunhee is on a dairy-free diet, for Hana’s sake, until mid-April. I forgot that bagel shops almost always add a shmear (cream cheese), so when I got the sandwich home, she contented herself with the tomato, onion and lettuce on the part of the bagel that had no shmear. She said she also doesn’t eat lox. It meant more to her that I honestly loved the beef stew she had made, three days ago. I had four bowls of it, two on the night it was made. I also spent the afternoon with Hana, so that Yunhee could have a few hours to go shopping for items she wanted, or the house needed.

One of those items was an electric chainsaw. She got a deal on it, and proudly presented it to me, knowing that I wanted to tend to the bough that was 80% severed from the oak tree in the front yard. I got the chain on the wand, but had to consult my neighbour on the corner, as to the finer points of tightening the chain. This led to his coming down to the yard and essentially cutting the bough and its branches, as the saw is one of his favourite tools. His son-in-law was along, to help me keep the ground around him free on fallen branches. There is nothing more dangerous than someone who gets carried away with a power tool. We three managed to get the job done in less than an hour. I offered them the better pieces of cut wood, but they declined. I got in my exercise by moving the debris to the back, by the alley, where I will cut the longer branches down to smaller units tomorrow.

That part had nothing to do with IWD, other than getting the men out of the house. International Women’s Day is never about men giving things. It is more about women empowering themselves. The notion that female humans are inherently worthwhile, and don’t need men to complete them, is oddly enough, only fairly recently a widespread concept. There have always been women who have stood on their own two feet, for life. Some have married; others just forged their own successful paths. Some have raised children; others found fostering animals more fulfilling; still others found the nurturing of ideas and creating products more to their liking.

On this International Women’s Day, I recall the lives of my grandmothers, who raised twenty children, between them; of my mother, who raised five of us and was the glue for her extended family; of my sister, who remains a matriarchal figure for her children and grandchildren; of my late wife, who earned three Master’s Degrees, the last while in declining health. There are women whose memorials I have visited: Civil Rights icons-Coretta Scott King, Fannie Lou Hamer, Nina Simone; Holocaust victim Hana Reiner, and astrophysicist Eleanor “Glo” Helin, whose asteroid research is celebrated at her place of work, Palomar Mountain. There are the women friends who work wonders, every single day, in fields from astrology to auto mechanics to home renovation.

Mostly, though, I look ahead, to all that my daughter-in-law has left to achieve and to all that my granddaughter can choose. My grandnieces, likewise, have an infinite realm of possibilities in front of them, because of the work that their mothers and grandmothers have put into having their strengths, ideas and dreams recognized and appreciated.

We’re all better off because of what women have done.

Further Changes

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May 8, 2021- I received a supportive message from the principal of the school to which I referred yesterday. There will be some discomfort, for some people, but the children will be safe.
In a few short days, my mother’s life will become more secure. I will be on the road, towards my childhood home, and will help with whatever needs to be done, for at least a week. This was not expected-at least not this month, but life does not compromise with want-only with need.

I received word, this evening, that her next door neighbour of 66 years is dying. He is in hospice- a man’s man, reduced to lying in a single bed. I can only hope that his extended family, his cousins and closest friends, can be with him. If he is still with us, when I get to Massachusetts, I will pay a visit and thank him for being a faithful friend of our family, like his parents were.

The next few days will see preparatory activities- a Mother’s Day call, a dental check-up, a car servicing, laundry and packing. There will be time, tomorrow, for a visit to a magical place: Montezuma Well. My Home Base will be secure, while I’m gone, and there will much to be done, when I get back .

School, though, will wait until Fall, or maybe Winter, as I honour marching orders, sent from a place unseen.

Hails and Farewells

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December 31, 2018, Prescott-

Many are itching to put this year to bed.  We even had a fireworks display in the downtown area, at 9 p.m., three hours ahead of schedule.  Me?  I am tying up loose ends, with regard to the year being shown the door.  Earlier this evening, I went down to the Salvation Army dining room and helped serve dinner.  17 hardy souls are taking shelter there tonight and gratefully took a meal of hot chicken noodle soup, Subway sandwich, Asian salad, chips, carbonated fruit water and chocolate cake.  My job was to dish out the cake, and I managed a slice for each shelteree who wanted one-not easy, with salivating staff members wanting a slice, as well. There was plenty for all, though.

The year brought several people into my life.  Some, like my daughter-in-law and infant grand-niece, will be here forever.  Others, like a good friend in Missouri and several people I met this summer, whilst crossing the continent, will be around for a good long time.  Another came into my life, found it not to their liking, and left swiftly.

I said farewell to several- a childhood neighbour, Ed Wolfe; boyhood friends, Stan Norkum and Alan Belyea; the sister of a friend, Claire Lindquist; Penny’s cousin, Jean Haithcock; her maternal aunt, Averala Boyd and, closest of all, her mother and my mother-in-law, Ruth Fellman.

Now, 2019 is little more than an hour away from our part of the continent.  I know the souls who have departed are looking out for those they love.  I feel my share of that love and it has helped refine my character, still further.

I look forward to ongoing friendships, some of which were clarified, refined and strengthened this year. I look forward to those new friendships that are sure to come in the year ahead, as well.  I know I will have to say goodbye to some souls in 2019; that’s the way of it.  They will be there, in the In-Gathering, when my own time comes.

Happy 2019, everyone!

Trust

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June 29, 2017, Prescott-

Today went much better for me.  A smaller shelter, and a more closely-knit crew, made a lot of difference.  Still, when a member of the “inner circle” showed up, at the end of my shift, I just wanted to get out of the building, as soon as possible.

I realize this is rather irrational, but emotions generally are.  There are relatively few people I fully trust- my son,  mother, siblings,  six or seven cousins, about a dozen friends here in the Prescott area and about fifteen other friends in various parts of the country.  I’m sure those numbers would be higher, were I to have more contact with family and friends, than I do at present.

It has nothing to do with my love for people, but rather, my perception of how they really feel about me.   This goes back to childhood, to my wandering nature and to not having really stuck with one core group of friends, growing up.    It also has to do with the somewhat anonymous culture of bigger towns and cities in the West, and of apartment living in general.  My neighbours, on either side, are rather suspicious of me, and say little, beyond a curt “hello”.  I carry on, with a friendly countenance, anyway.

In the end, we leave the world, alone; yet in the meantime, as people in small towns remind the rest of us, time and again, it is a far better idea to work up some trust.  There have been times when I have let others down, and I’ve tried to make amends.  Lord knows, I am working on my own trust issues, but it’s just not easy.

Those are my thoughts, at the end of a long day.

The Road to 65, Mile 352: Call to Account

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November 15, 2015, Prescott- 

Fingers placed in the pie of another,

must first receive word of his druthers.

Assuming one’s neighbours will concur

with a sordid plan,

shows no keen understanding of fellow man.

The self-righteous tyrants striking one another,

will soon find the True Almighty calling them to account,

and rending them asunder.