May 11, 2016, Chino Valley- I went up here, today, and will again tomorrow, to fulfill a promise I made, before getting the long-term assignment at Prescott High School. It gives me a chance to continue the friendships I was fortunate to establish, before leaving the little school, just before Christmas.
I have thought a lot about what my place actually is, in this tempestuous time. All my life, quite honestly, I have felt good about putting other people ahead of myself, and have not suffered as a result. This continues; my own needs are actually minimal.
Occasional melancholy creeps in, and I think of those I love, intensely, even in my own family, who have no idea how to love me back. I have to remind myself that there are others, whom I have not loved back. Part of the grieving process, for me, at least, has been keeping something of a lock on my heart. When I have unlocked it, and reached out, it’s most often been at the wrong time, toward the wrong person, and BAM goes the hammer.
It’s a circular logic, I know, that has to stop with me. So, I make an earnest, solemn vow to renew the commitment to having no expectations of anyone, other than myself. It’s a process, and can be a rewarding one. That, alone, is what gets me up in the morning, and keeps me looking forward to the next chapters.
A Sagittarian Seeker 
I have that same problem occasionally manifesting itself until I remember not to have expectations.
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Some have told me that having no expectations of others is demeaning to them. I see it more as giving people space to grow on their own terms.
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High expectations get me in trouble too. I look forward to the next chapters but I guess I’ve gotten more realistic as time goes on. Blessings!
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With time, comes a finer sense of reality, and patience with human nature-both own and others’.
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Expectations guarantee resentment. I agree with you but for me, it is very difficult to achieve the balance. I am also working on it. Thanks for sharing.
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It is a struggle for each of us, Carol.
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It sure is.
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Beautiful thoughts!
I too have my time of melancholy, but I have just accepted it. I too would be reminded of times when I was not loved, but I need to end that now.
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You are so much loved now, Angy!
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Thee is such an example to me. And easier one, than my own blood brother, the missionary, in Africa. Thank you.
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The bar of being a missionary is indeed high, if one be pure of heart. Blessings be.
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