April 6, 2019-
Insights into the wider implications of my being released from my most recent position seem to be coming to me, usually in the early morning- a time when I had been doubting my effectiveness at times, only to pull myself together-and usually do a credible job, on any given day.
There are always aspects of one’s day-to-day life that are not readily understood. Why, for example, do crisis moments seem to happen, almost out of nowhere? Why do some people seem to be keenly interested in one’s shortcomings, when they have no supervisory role of which to speak? Why do processes come to an abrupt end?
I have chosen to not concern myself with any of that. I will go back to what has sustained me, in times of trial before: Working where I am most needed, from day to day. There are nineteen months until I would, optimally, prefer to retire from education: November, 2020. I would work through December, if the need arises.
It also occurs to me that the needs of my Faith, and possibly other needs that have yet to reveal themselves, are the true reason for my newly resumed flexible schedule. Another, younger person could do what I had been doing with my former charges, from one day to the next and do as well, if not better. I see that there are already areas, in which having the freedom to determine my own work schedule will do more good than I’d been able to do, in those areas, over the past three years.
Everything happens for a reason, and usually for at least two or three.