January 22, 2020, Peach Springs-
A talk with my son, last night, underscored the perception, even sometimes in my own mind, that my shelf life is getting limited. When the changes in the social wind blow ill, as they did yesterday, I look towards a place of refuge. Sometimes, it’s just as well that there is no refuge available, immediately. Sometimes, the only way out is through.
Things went far better today, with my class. I took the step of streamlining the rules, which had been overly drawn up by one of the previous teachers. I took the step of not tolerating foul language or harassment. I took the step of countering the inchoate misogyny that some of the boys have shown, already, in their very young lives.
We got quite a bit accomplished. It is not a traditional classroom. Many students don’t get to school until two hours after the opening bell. I am not here to judge them, or their families, for that. Everyone, eventually, makes it to school. Everyone does some work, and learns something. That is part of the reality in a rural community, where many live far afield, and no buses serve the area.
I am still not sure what will happen with me, after tomorrow. There is more of a bond with the people here-and there is a bond, and a need, with people back in Yavapai County. It will end up being one of those measured, eleventh-hour decisions, and I have a sense that the right thing will happen, by all concerned.
A Sagittarian Seeker 
The growth you and the students are experiencing seems like a ‘God’s Will’ event.
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It does seem so.
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The growth you and your students are experiencing seems like ‘God’s Will’ events.
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You are in a “temporary” situation — I wonder if some of what you have experienced is the students and/or others testing you. You will survive and continue on — hopefully in the right direction. Your “shelf life” will also continue, although it may change in character.
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I get a good sense about all this. Yes, I feel that my boundaries are being tested. That is a lot of what children do. My shelf life will, of course, continue-with retirement come other opportunities.
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A bond being built is a slow process. It sounds like these children have had many teachers and indeed many different rules. I suspect Janet is spot on about the testing. However your steady presence may be the tipping point toward better learning and behavior.
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Thank you, Val! Some people are sure of their needs, when it comes to other people and can detect who will meet those needs. Thus, a bond can be started sooner, rather than later.
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Hi Teacher,
What you write is eerily familiar. I’ve been inside the rabbit hole myself, wondering about my shelf life and mortality, something that has not happened in as many years. The simple answer to that is this: IF you wake up in the morning, then you still have shelf life, so get out of bed and do something with that day. Going back to basics and the 24 hour clock, when I am not sure that I am going to survive, usually does the trick.
With your kids, slow and steady wins the race.
However long you have left there, make the most of it. Like I said a few days ago, find the ONE who will carry your message back to their peers. with that your message will be retained and go on, whether you are there or whether you are somewhere else.
If you are wont to do, if you do leave that place, then leave a contact where you can be found if that is something you might leave them, just in case, if you were the best person to fill that void as long as you did.
Hang in there. There is life still left within you. Remember to breathe ,,,
Jeremy
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Thanks, Jeremy! Yes, there is a lot of life left. I will maintain contact with both staff and students there.
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