Category Archives: children

Obsessions

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, Community, distraction issues, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 10, 2026- As I sit at the computer, reading some articles and writing my own, I watch one or two squirrels traversing the neighbour’s roof and nearby trees, living the full life of exercise, play and acorn gathering that make up the life of a tree squirrel. I also listen for my granddaughter, napping downstairs in her bassinet. She will call out or coo, when she wakes up, knowing that I will shortly come downstairs and tend to her needs.

In neither the rodent, nor the innocent child, is there an excessive focus on anything other than surviving and thriving. Once a person reaches the age of reason, however, unmet needs can turn into obsessions, almost exclusive foci on one or two persons or concepts, even to the extent of neglecting one’s daily duties or responsibilities.

A friend has written an article about “derangement syndrome”. I have yet to read the piece, but I can say, ahead of the game, that such terms indicate obsession, not only by the person who hates, but also by the one who is receiving the vitriol-if that person encourages the attention. It is well-understood, by child psychologists and parents, that a neglected child, one deprived of attention over an extended period, will construct his or her own universe, in which he or she is the center.

We all do this, to a modest extent, as no parent, however dedicated and loving, can shower attention on a child 24/7. For the well-adjusted person, however, there are limits to self-absorption: A spouse, a friend, a sibling, a child or an organization will have needs that the individual, of own volition, will choose to help meet.

For the deprived individual, however, everything in the constructed universe becomes transactional, with him or her as the end recipient. The longer and stronger the deprivation, the deeper the delusion, the louder the demands for attention, and the more creative the transactions. This has been borne out, throughout history, across nations and cultures.

Now, it’s time to tend to my granddaughter.

Time Frames

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Personal Values, Social, Striving

April 9, 2026- I was the first person top arrive at Baha’i Feast, this evening. Sometimes, this is awkward, if the host is busy setting up at the last minute, but tonight’s host was gracious and we sat in conversation for several minutes, until the next few friends arrived. As it happened, they dawdled on the sidewalk and steps, finishing their own conversations, before entering. The host opened and closed the door a couple of times, before the friends were ready to come in.

I was raised to arrive on time, preferably five minutes early. On my own, I have adhered to that- and in Prescott, I made that ten minutes early, as many of the members of any given group were transplants from places where “if you’re on time, you’re late” was the mantra. In one situation, a few people decided they would be the first to arrive-and they were, getting to the gathering ( a breakfast) even before the cooks!

In my married years, Mr. On Schedule was happy with Last Minute Lucy. Penny was determined that she would finish what she was doing at home, before we set out for an engagement. That left a few feathers ruffled, over the years, but I always took her side. The punctualists, though I agreed with them in principle, came across like Der Burgermeister- more officious than humane.

Aram has grown to be committed to being on time, simply because,as with me, that strikes him as being courteous. Yunhee is usually ready to also be ahead of schedule. Hana, so far, goes by her body clock and wakes pretty much on time for every feeding, having enough energy to do some activities for an hour, or ninety minutes, after her meal. She is fairly easy to get to nap, when it’s time and sleeps pretty much through most nights.

I still wake with the birds and get to bed well before midnight, each day. The fullness of a day’s schedule, whether caring for my granddaughter or meeting an occasional appointment, is perfectly satisfying.

Sanity Prevails-For Now

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Family, Historical, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 7, 2026- The only possible solution to the current stalemate in and around Iran has been reached-for now. Personally, I am most concerned for the safety and well-being of my fellow Baha’is in that country. They have, since the proclamation of the Babi Faith, in the days of the Qajar Dynasty, been relentlessly persecuted by the Shiite Muslim clergy and by elements of the government. This was as true during the Pahlavi Dynasty of the mid-Twentieth Century as it was earlier. The Islamic Republic has upped the level of persecution, to the extent of desecrating Baha’i graves, banning Baha’i marriages and refusing to let children of Baha’is receive an education, past eighth grade-if even for that long. Many Baha’is have been imprisoned, and several executed.

That said, the way to reversing the waves of prejudice against my fellows in Faith doe snot lie in “an eye for an eye” or “bombing the country back into the Stone Age”. ( Iran was a highly civilized place when much of western Europe was still a land of hunter/gatherers and North America was mostly settled and a place of organized agricultural communities, but not yet of classical, nation-based civilization.) Baha’is take the position that only consultation and equanimity can resolve the various conflicts, large and small, around the globe.

One of the tenets of the Baha’i Faith is to “regard the Earth as but one country and mankind its citizens.” This is accepted, in principle, by a good many people around the world. Some go back, though, to “What about national sovereignty?” or “Clean up your own back yard”, when I have raised this in the past. I say we can, and should, be concerned at all levels. Indeed, my most elemental concerns are for my own health and well-being, then for my granddaughter and her parents, and on up the family ladder. Neighbourhood, community, state, nation and planet do not, however, get short shrift. We all share the air, water and mineral resources.

The various leaders, when they take a break from screaming and yelling at one another, can surely bear witness to this reality.

Messy

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving

April 6, 2026- Babies can be messy. They need to be bathed, have their diapers changed, undersides cleaned, faces washed and mouths rinsed with pre-dental solution.

Children can be messy. They need to be taught to take their shoes or boots off, when entering a house, or wipe their feet, when entering a public place. They need to be trained to wipe themselves after using a toilet, and wash their hands afterward, then dry them with a cloth or paper towel. They need to be shown how to make their beds and clean their rooms, putting things back where they found them.

Teenagers can be messy. They need to be held to account and actively encouraged to slow down and be present in a situation. They know how to focus on others; they do so with their friends, all the time. Extend that focus to people older and younger than themselves.

Families can be messy. Patience and communication are the cleaning agents. So is reflection-remembering when one was in the same position as the one who made the mess, or looking ahead to when one will be in the same position. The child will become an adult, and very well may be a parent. The parent may very well become a grandparent. The grandparent must never forget what it was like to be a baby, a child, a teenager, a parent.

Communities, and organizations, can be messy. Patience, and communication, are even more essential here, even as they become more complex. Technology can help, and it can also hinder; the way in which it is used determines which will be the case. The viewpoints of leaders, and members, will decide how tools, including technology, are used.

Life is messy; it can only be cleaned by those living it.

Still Afloat

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Family, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 4, 2026- I have always been a bit on the sensitive side. There have been a number of occasions when that sensitivity took the form of self- absorption, bristling at criticism-even when I knew, deep down, that the critic was onto something. Those were the times when my personal growth was short-circuited/

There were long stretches of my life, when I searched for someone who was as worthy of my love as my mother was. Indeed, it’s often said that a man marries his mother, and a woman, her father. My marriage to Penny did neither. Save for the fact that they each had a pleasant singing voice, Penny was nothing like my Mom. I, in turn, was nothing like her Dad. We were drawn together by Faith, a mutual love of learning, and a commitment to better the world. We fell truly in love, only gradually.

A lot of that was on me-the self-contained unit, who had to learn to consult with her about even those things that seemed, to me, to be self-evident. With time, and the resurgence of her congenital disease, I plowed through, and past, a number of personal flaws and reached a modicum of stability. Being a caretaker does that to one who survives.

She passed to the spirit world, in 2011. Since then, a number of people have come into my life. Those, both women and men, who recognized my strengths and weaknesses, and focused on the former, are still in my life. Those who chose to dwell on the latter, especially those who tried to take advantage of those weaknesses, are long gone.

I built a good life in Prescott, and a strong network across North America, and on opposite ends of the world. That network stays in place, even as my life has shifted to Plano, and my immediate focus is on my family-especially on my little granddaughter. I am still afloat on the sea of life, even during this time of wider storms.

Happy Easter and Joyous Passover, everyone!

A Day Without Foolishness

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 1, 2026- It was calm here today. Aram and Yunhee both spent the day working, and I looked after Hana. The parents each dealt with people who had dropped the ball; the baby and I re-focused on building her upper body strength, leaving more ambulatory skills for later on. She likes that much better.

I am finding that, if I watch her body cues and listen to her vocalizations, I get an accurate sense of what I should make my focus and for how long. A baby who feels understood is less likely to revert to crying, (Yes, one could pretty much say that about anyone.) If I acknowledge her feelings, with words that fall into her receptive vocabulary, I get the broadest smile. Those sparkling eyes tell me my efforts are registering and are appreciated. A little hug verifies that.

When Mommy and daddy got off work, I fixed a simple dinner, then we all celebrated Hana’s Baek-il (first 100 days). She wore a ceremonial dress and wore it nicely. The small head ribbon stayed on just long enough for her parents to take several photographs. A special cake and cookies made for an extra special dessert. Hana “cut the cake” with her hand on top of her mother’s,

I got my first of month bills paid and a long-standing project in the Philippines will now be completed. I hope that, all in all, today was a day without foolishness, for anyone who has been paying attention to what is most important.

A Hundred Days of Hana

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Education, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving

March 31, 2026-A good report came back today, regarding an abnormality that had been previously diagnosed in my granddaughter. It turned out the diagnosis was wrong, and her functioning is normal. This was particularly welcomed, because today is Hana’s Hundredth Day, or Baek-il,

Korean Tradition of Baek-il *

To outsiders, celebrating a 100-day mark might seem excessive—but in Korea, it’s a milestone rich in history, emotion, and symbolism. Whether for a newborn baby, a blossoming romance, or a personal journey, the Korean “100-day” tradition—known as baek-il (백일)—represents survival, progress, and shared joy. Let’s explore the roots and evolution of this beloved custom.

Why Babies’ First 100 Days Matter*

Historically, infant survival in Korea was uncertain. If a child made it to 100 days, families would celebrate with a ceremony called baek-il. Traditional rice cakes, fruit, and prayers to ancestors were common. Today, modern parents mark this milestone with professional photos, private parties, and social media posts—still honoring life’s fragile beginnings.

As Hana is half Korean, we are making a big deal out of the milestone. We aren’t going in for professional photos, but a Baek-il dress, special rice cakes and giving thanks to all our departed family will be on the agenda. Due to a miscount, the celebration will be held tomorrow, but it’ll be joyful, nonetheless.

The little girl’s first hundred days have been a study in someone who pushes herself to develop skills: Ambulatory (Army crawling, sitting up with support), hygienic (holding a bib to her mouth to wipe any residue, readily taking and swallowing oral medication-without fussing) and communicating (using both babbling and about a dozen clearly pronounced one-syllable words, maintaining eye contact). She has a broad smile and an infectious laugh. Conversely, when she is upset,her voice can be thunderous. She has large, cerulean blue/green eyes that twinkle when she feels playful.

When she wakes up tomorrow, there will be a big sign, made of letter balloons: “Happy 100 Days, Hana!” She will go through the day with usual activities, then when her father gets off work, we will dress her and happy Korean songs will play. We adults will enjoy the goodies, but she is congenial about that. As long as she is sitting in her little chair alongside us, all is well for my granddaughter.

I look forward to the next 100 days, and all that follows.

*https://www.koreanhabits.com/2025/05/koreanhabits-20250512-70.html#

Nuremberg, The Motion Picture

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Education, Historical, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving

March 29, 2026- I want, more than anything else, a place where I can know, of a certainty, that my son and daughter-in-law can raise their daughter, and any other child they may choose to bring into the world, to be a strong and free human being. I want to see Hana realize her gifts and fulfill her dreams. She is already showing signs of being a self-directed, internally-disciplined person, with a very basic sense of at least her biological needs and how to communicate them.

I start with this, because I watched the film, the motion picture “Nuremberg”, this evening. The military psychiatrist, Douglas Kelley, wrote one of the first scholarly descriptions of the totalitarian mindset, having conducted several hours of interviews with the second-in-command of the Third Reich: Hermann Goring. Kelley wrote a book on the subject, after his discharge from the Army. The book cautioned that totalitarian personalities exist in every nation on Earth, including the United States. For this, he was castigated. The book failed to sell.. That was in 1949. A year later, Dr. Kelley, and the nation, witnessed the rise of Joseph McCarthy, and his reckless campaign against anyone who opposed him, on the grounds that they “might be Communists”.

McCarthy’s campaign lasted four years. finally being undone by the suicide of a Senate colleague whom McCarthy had hounded relentlessly for over a year, and by the increasing indecency of his campaign, orchestrated by a hack lawyer named Roy Cohn. Cohn went underground after McCarthy’s fall from grace, but continued to mentor certain individuals whose personality and viewpoints struck him as being similar to McCarthy’s.

I have rambled a bit, but we have witnessed, in the past year or so, unbridled use of Federal officials to round up, harass and even kill those deemed “less than” loyal American citizens. They don’t number in the millions, or even the hundreds of thousands, yet. The campaign was supposed to focus on criminals in this country illegally, who were to be deported to their home nation. As time has gone on, the campaign has been plagued by indiscipline, wild lack of focus and scattershot detentions of even American citizens. A Canadian mother and daughter, both legally in the United States, are now at a Federal detention facility, in Dilley, Texas, after being picked up at a border checkpoint in Hebbronville, Texas. There have been several cases of infants, some of whom needed medical attention, being taken to similar facilities. The miscarriages of justice differ from the Holocaust only in degree and in the number of victims.

There is nothing, in the statements of Executive Branch Deputy Chief of Staff Stephen Miller, to indicate that the activities of the agencies doing his bidding will not get worse. Only a reasoned stance by the new Secretary of Homeland Security, Markwayne Mullin, would show that the present administration is bringing the travesties to a halt. The scenes depicted towards the end of “Nuremberg” and the scenes I saw in the museums at Auschwitz-Birkenau and at Srebrenica, last autumn, should never even closely be allowed to be replicated in our country.

I wait, and promise my grandchild that she will have a path to fully and freely pursue what she is meant to achieve. God bless America.

Clear Voices

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 28, 2026- Millions of people spoke their peace today. I noted at least 300. here in Plano. My attention was directed towards family, especially my granddaughter, so I limited myself to driving past the gathered crowd and honking in support, because…..enough has been enough for some time, Clear voices matter, for the simple fact that without them, there is no direction. There has been a cacophony, that seems to change with the wind, and only the loudest, most impatient of voices among those currently making policy have been prevailing.

This is not a matter of liberalism vs. conservatism. No serious voice is seeking to shush conservative points of view. No serious voice should be seeking to silence liberals. In creating a coin, the idea of it having one side is ludicrous. In raising a family, two parents are always going to meet with more success than a single caregiver. There will be a solution to a problem, but it can’t come from an authoritarian source. Some point to Hungary, under Viktor Orban and his Fidesz Party, as a conservative society that works. Apparently, that is not going as well as has been claimed-and there is a very competitive election campaign going on in that country right now. We shall see.

Hana has been quite vocal, of late. Some of her utterances are quite clear, and germane to the situation at hand. Other times, she is babbling, albeit in earnest. She is not likely one who will hold back. Her grandmother would be proud of her. I certainly am, and will ever encourage her speaking out, though taking time to think before she speaks. Her father was expected to speak his mind, after processing information. That led to some conflict with an older relative who had a rather Victorian mindset, but no matter. Keeping children in the background never uniformly worked well. Intelligent young people have ever needed to be directed, not quashed.

So, today, and for quite some time to come, we face a period of transition, from the primacy of a favoured few to a broader-based gathering of the minds and hearts. There will, in the end of it all, not be a patriarchy, or a matriarchy, but, as Marianne Williamson wrote today-a fraternity, or whatever one wants to call a gathering of siblings. Keep speaking your truth.

Sweet Sixteen, 2026

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Posted by on in children, Community, Education, Family, Personal Values, Social, Striving

March 27,.2026- There were two separate games on the screens, at Vickery Park Cafe, which has the women’s NCAA championship tournament on, full bore. It seems about time that the health and well-being of young women is given the same cache, in the sports bar network, as those of young men. We have had a few years of increased public interest in Women’s College Basketball, thanks to Caitlin Clark, Angela Reese and, this year, Azzi Fudd.

I stopped in at Vickery. in between getting my blood drawn at the Veterans Administration Medical Center, in Garland and a chiropractic adjustment, in Frisco. The place offers high quality burgers and salads, and their soups are superb, as well. Seeing the equal time being given to the ladies’ Sweet 16 was a bonus.

At home, Hana was highly insistent, this evening, on doing a “round trip” of Army crawling, going about a foot in one direction, then going back the other way. I will get a soft quilt, tomorrow, which we can overlay on the plastic mat. In the moment, though, she was not happy until tonight’s effort was completed. I thought of all the effort and practice the young women in NCAA have put in, and can see her making a habit of daily practice, at whatever activity she chooses for herself.

The question begs: “Would you invest the same energy into a grandson?” I’ve already answered that question, with the energy put into son’s health, well-being and development. So, yes, each human being put before us is worth the full court press of energy and interest from parents and grandparents alike. Society will be that much further along, if this is taken as seriously as it deserves.