No Infantilization

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February 21, 2026- Hana was squalling about a break in the feeding action, until I came downstairs and reminded her, in a calm voice, that being burped was part of the feeding process. She stopped squalling, let herself be burped and went back to feeding.

I know all the warnings given to grandparents about not spoiling their little darlings. As loving as I am to her, though, I will never jive the little girl. Those cautions and that guidance which her parents have in place have my backing as well. I want her to succeed and to enjoy the best that life has to offer. Those things don’t come to someone who throws a fit, and that realization comes with the first sets of delays and procedures that an infant experiences.

I will not infantilize my granddaughter. Her feelings, and her language, when it comes, will be honoured with respect. I will hold her and comfort her as often as she needs; I will not, however, enable her intemperance. Calmly, but firmly, we are checking all reasons for any distress she is exhibiting, and she is most appreciative once the hunger, the gas pains or soiled diaper have been addressed. She already knows, after only two months, that she is being taken seriously by all three of her adults.

I learned a lot from the parents at Dharma Farm, in Paulden, AZ, about not babying infants. That does not mean skimping on nurturing. It means teaching patience, consideration and gentleness, from the time a child can recognize faces and voices. It will also mean being considerate of others, from the time Hana can walk and speak.

I look at the larger situation around our country today and see that there are far too many, even in positions of power, who have been infantilized and pampered, and who have learned to fulminate at critics; manipulating people and situations to their advantage, Whether this has come from a lack of spirituality or from overemphasis on the material side of life, it has laid low any society where people have become numbed to the machinations of the overindulged few.

While I shudder at some of the behaviour of people both in positions of authority and in positions of civic responsibility, I see where it started, and will do my small part to make sure a little girl coming up in the world doesn’t follow poor examples.

Cyclical

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February 20, 2026- I heard a few days ago, and read this morning, that with Saturn and Neptune converging astrologically at O degrees Aries, a 6000 year cycle has come to an end and that a new one has begun. Savvier people than I, with regard to astrology, will have a clearer understanding of what that means,in that particular sense.

I do know, though, that there is, and has been, a unifying energy around the planet, released in 1844 by al-Bab and energized even more in 1863, by Baha’ullah. Like most such processes, it has been slow to unfold, even with two world wars, several civil wars in various nations (including the United States), a global economic depression, a global pandemic and various countries choosing to live-for a time-under authoritarian rule. The unity of the human race, however, is sure to be one of the processes that arise out of this new cycle. It cannot be imposed on us. We must choose it for ourselves. Truthfully, though, I don’t see that we have many other options.

It was said, two days ago, that many shopworn institutions will continue to collapse and fade away, with new institutions, more fitting for this day and age, rising up to take their place. We certainly are seeing that-and I am not talking about models of Artificial Intelligence whose main feature is the exacerbation of human greed. I am talking more about grassroots efforts at improving the quality of life-from language preservation activities, to experiments in backyard farming, to co-operative small groups of parents raising children across familial lines,to alliances of countries that are not being organized by one or more “major powers” .

I want to mention that in my own life, another sea change has taken place. Just as in 1981-82, I became a Baha’i. left the Roman Catholic faith, relinquished alcohol dependency and entered into wedlock; as in 1986-92, we left the United States and learned to live in the beautiful land and culture of South Korea, becoming parents to a beautiful little boy; as in 2011, I laid my beloved wife to rest, let go of a house and community in Phoenix and moved to Prescott, traveling widely and also devoting many hours to community service, so now has the call of grandparenthood been answered and a new community become my Home Base.

One cycle ends, indeed, and another begins.

Animal Friends

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February 18, 2026- The video showed a little girl getting ready to go back in her house, after playing in the snow. Of a sudden, a cheerful polar bear cub scampered up and put its paws around the delighted child. She asked her mother if she could bring the bear cub inside, as “it’s freezing out”. The frantic woman called for her husband, and probably figured that the other mother was about to show up and charge at her daughter. The video cut off=and may well have been an AI-created snippet.

A South African Big Cat specialist, Kevin Richardson, has posted several videos of his work with hyenas, leopards and lions. I watched a couple of segments where he treated a male lion for ringworm and monitored the animal’s tooth, which had abscessed, but was somehow starting to heal on its own; another of him playing with “normally aloof ” hyenas, after he returned from a trip to another part of South Africa; and a third, “memorial” to a black leopard, which had died of advanced age. He had bonded with the panther, and noted that the male was a congenial sort, but had its boundaries, which responsible keepers respected.

Hana likes the four little figures on the mobile above her smaller bassinet. She coos and talks to them, as they revolve while she is laying there and gazing at them. There are an elephant, a zebra, a giraffe and a sheep. They are all grey and white, which matters none to my granddaughter. She is a generally happy little girl and smiles at the animals, as she watches and talks to them.

She will be taught to be careful with real animals, being kind to them, while remembering that they are going to defend themselves if they feel threatened. She will learn, as hopefully the little girl in the video did, to not intrude on a wild animal’s territory or try to touch an animal that is not cleared by her parents or the animal’s owner/keeper. The jury’s still out, as to whether we will have a pet here. Penny and I got Aram his first pet when he was five, and he learned the basics of caring for a dog. He and Yunhee will consider the matter, a few years hence.

Animals can co-exist with us, yet we have a duty to understand their natures and show restraint, not being either overly trusting or adversarial to our fellow creatures.

Celebrations, Losses and Growth

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February 17, 2026- Hana slept through the night,at least from her midnight feeding to 6:30. when we woke her for her breakfast feeding. She might have slept longer, but was very happy to get breakfast. She is growing at a steady pace and is awake more during the day, alternating between our developmental activities with her and gazing up at a revolving mobile, talking to the animals in her soft voice-which gets loud when she needs something from us.

Today was a day of two celebrations: Mardi Gras and Lunar New Year (The Year of the Fire Horse begins today,) Mardi Gras is not such a big deal here, though many Texans, like Arizonans, will tell you “It’s Fat Tuesday, because we speak English in America”. Still, there are some Cajun and Creole places here. We observed Mardi Gras with a simple Cajun chicken salad for dinner. We don’t go out much at night, so costumes were not on the agenda. The Year of the Fire Horse will see us celebrating a bit more, over the next fifteen days. Penny was born during a Year of the Horse (1954). Hana’s birthday came at the end of the Year of the Snake, and she definitely has some Fire Horse qualities, especially being assertive and outspoken-like her grandmother was.

We lost two noteworthy people, yesterday and today. Robert Duvall was another of the greats of cinema to leave our midst. His roles, especially in “Apocalypse Now”, “The Godfather” and the television series. “Lonesome Dove”, showed characters of steel and velvet. He famously objected to the cutting of a scene in “Apocalypse Now”, in which his hard-nosed character saves the life of a Vietnamese child. He was in life, a man of integrity and conviction.

So, too, was Jesse Jackson. I recall his first run for the Democratic Presidential nomination, in 1984. Many who were disturbed by the Iran-Contra matter and who were equally put off by the “business-as-usual” nomination of Walter Mondale, gravitated towards the Reverend from South Carolina and Chicago. He made a respectable showing that Spring, and maintained a presence on the national scene for decades afterward, before a neurological disease ended his mobility and, today, his life. Jesse Jackson extended the reach of the Civil Rights movement- pointing out that “all means all”. Regardless of how uncomfortable that made many feel sometimes, he did not flinch.

Lastly, my heart goes to the family of a woman of whom many had never heard before today. Linda Davis was a highly-regarded Special Education teacher in Savannah, She was killed, while on her way to work, when an undocumented migrant from Guatemala panicked during an ICE traffic stop, and fled the scene, ran a red light and made a u-turn, before crashing into Dr. Davis’ car. It is unclear as to whether officers were “chasing” him, but what is clear is that Dr. Linda Davis died unnecessarily. My heart goes to her family, colleagues and students, whoby all accounts, loved and cherished her.

Growth, celebration and loss are inextricably intertwined.

Better Windows on the World

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February 16,2026- The work crew arrived before son and I were fully dressed, but Yunhee and Hana were set for their day. We men fortunately were able to get it together before the two ladies came in to do their work. There were four crew members on the window installation team. The ladies worked on inside prep and the men were on the ladders outside. The crew chief used a blowtorch to loosen the fittings on the old windows, the new windows were installed and we have more climate-efficient viewpoints on the world.

I explain these things to Hana, though it will be a while before she even knows what windows and doors are. She is, however, studying her world very intently with her little eyes and I know she’s thinking about things at a newborn’s level. The main things are still a regular meal and a clean diaper, and cuddle time with each of us is a close third. Mom and Dad made a quick sale of a couple of items they no longer need, at the Middle School Pop-up Market, this evening. Guess who wasn’t consulted, and felt let down. I was at least able to keep her from feeling too abandoned-and it was only for ten minutes.

The day was nice, as I was also able to clear 90% of the pile of cardboard from our garage, taking it to the recycling center. It is on the other side of town, taking me through downtown Plano, which meant a stop at 1418 Coffee, for a macha & scone. Granddaughter was glad to see me when I got back and we had a bit more playtime before dinner.

I thought a bit about today being President’s Day, and how we cannot close the country’s curtains on the wider world. We also can’t pretend that our windows should be tinted, so the rest of the planet doesn’t seem to exist. We need to set an example of order, not chaos. I hope that is starting to dawn on some of those who act as if they want to roll back the clock, or set a timer on how long it takes to amass a larger fortune than anyone could ever spend.

Hope all had a decent President’s Day.

Hana Goes to A Park

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February 15, 2026- The fresh air agreed with my granddaughter, and the stroller is a very smooth ride on Plano’s sidewalks and crosswalks. So, Hana let the pacifier drop from her mouth, after about three minutes, and enjoyed the Springlike afternoon-variously looking at the trees and at her parents, as they took turns pushing the stroller.

We went to Hoblitzelle Park, as it is just down the street from the cul de sac. It was her first time outside, other than the medical appointments that don’t really count, as she goes from house to car to office in a car seat. She was very happy, even though she never left the stroller. One step at a time; there will be opportunities to explore the neighbourhood that is her wider world, as she keeps growing over the next year. It was enough that she passed by other little ones in their strollers, getting a slight awareness of her peers. It was also good that the family of three had their photos taken at a bench, in the south playground of “the Hob”. It won’t be all that long before our growing girl is in a basket swing, followed in a few years by the whole range of swings, slides and bars.

She’s nine weeks old now, and sleeps longer through the night, not so much interested in feeding as frequently between Midnight and 5 a.m. That gives her hard-working parents a bit of a break, and I don’t feel as bad about getting my sleep, in preparation for the next day’s activities, which start at 5.She also loves “Stand Up and Sit Down”, as I’ve mentioned, being very proud of standing up straight, with Grandpa’s hands under her arms for support. She certainly coos her appreciation, while looking at me adoringly. All these things add up to a happy, well-adjusted little girl.

Support your adult children. The gratitude will filter down to the grandbabies.

The Stage and the Platform

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February 14, 2026- My kids planned their Valentine’s Day together. Son bought a nice assortment of cut flowers, the only element of surprise, on a day when daughter-in-law took the initiative in scoping out restaurants where they might go. Of course, there was a wait, but the evening worked out nicely. Hana and I had an evening of “stand up, sit down” (one of her favourite developmental games), my reading a chapter of “My Father’s Dragon”, and the snuggling and bottle feeding that are essential in a newborn’s life.

Earlier today, I took part in a brief online discussion about romantic holidays as performance art, as opposed to their being reflective of a deeper, more stable and integrated relationship. My kids passed the acid test. They have made each other’s big days, and their joint big days, focuses of mutual attention and planning, since they became committed to one another. Their platform is solid and supports the stage of important engagements.

I pondered the difference between the above, and the relationships in which one or both parties lurch from one helter-skelter “special day” to another. There are many who “forget” their significant others’ birthdays, or even wedding anniversaries. They are diffident about their partners’ dreams and significant events, or about her/his independent activities altogether. It is not surprising then, when the platform made of particle board collapses under the weight of dreams and expectations made of steel and titanium.

A lot of this is a matter of individual maturity and the developmental level of intuition, of both partners. It is also true that clarity, mingled with commitment, is the best foundation for any relationship. The platform of steel will support the heaviest of stages.

Our Better Nature

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February 12, 2026- Abraham Lincoln closed his first Inaugural Address with:
“I am loath to close. We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave to every living heart and hearthstone all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.”

He struck a conciliatory tone to the slaveholders of the Southern and Border states, in a last ditch effort to avoid the outbreak of hostilities. Some became emboldened, and it didn’t work. We are warned, in Scripture, not to encourage those who lie, steal or engage in selfish behaviour. Lincoln thought he could convince those he regarded as “friends and neighbours” to retreat from their threats of secession. He would have done best to have heeded Christ:

“Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.” – Matthew 7:6

“Warn a divisive person once, and then warn them a second time. After that, have nothing to do with them.” – Titus 3:10

When I was a teenager, I was warned by elders who have since passed, but who I respect to this day, to not give in to bullies. I stood my ground a few times, enough so that the kids backed off and some eventually became friends. Had I not stood up for myself, it was clear that they would have become emboldened.

It is also clear that, in the days when confrontation, and going after “the low-hanging fruit” are practices being substituted for reasoned policy-making and public discourse, the angels of our better nature require standing ground by sticking to facts, orienting self and avoiding the temptation to fall back on self-propelled fantasy. They require listening, certainly, and they require discernment, in evaluating what one has heard.

Harlequin

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February 9, 2026- My Dad used to bring home a gallon of ice cream that was called harlequin-vanilla, chocolate and strawberry, layered in one box. He noted these were the three most popular flavours, so we could each choose without feeling left out. I took a little of each. I forget what my siblings chose, but it was one flavour to the exclusion of others. That didn’t faze me. Each one of us is unique and entitled to our own opinions.

Yesterday’s Super Bowl offered a choice between two excellent teams. Seattle won, probably because of a more aggressive offense. I was busy with family things here, and didn’t watch the game, but would have been happy had New England won-as there is a direct connection, one of my maternal uncles was a key figure in getting both stadiums at Foxborough. That said, I congratulate the Seahawks for a job well done.

The halftime show was a statement celebrating the wholeness of the Americas. I only watched a clip of the end, and thought it a nice touch that most of the independent nations of the hemisphere were mentioned, after Mr. Martinez Ocasio’s statement: “God Bless America”. He probably could have done justice to the song, had he sung it, but Brandi Carlile had already done a fine rendition of “America the Beautiful”. (I watched that clip as well). There was an alternative show, by conservative artists. I didn’t watch any of that, but it is on You Tube, for those whose tastes prefer it. For the record, I like Lee Greenwood and Carrie Underwood, and would have watched any segment either of them might have done. I also like Latin music, and was an early fan of Santana, Joan Baez singing in Spanish, and the Chilean band, Quilapayun.

I guess I am just given to enjoying variety, diversity, or harlequin.

Composed

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February 7, 2026- Hana has decided she likes her bath. It helps that the weather has moderated and the bathroom does not have any draft coming in through the window. She is a warm weather girl, and is also very appreciative of being clean. She was happy through the bath tonight, and even more so for the feeding that came afterward. Food, at least the kind that comes with infancy, is definitely a big winner with Hana.

I hear that my own composed demeanour is rubbing off on her. After 75 years, I simply don’t see anything about which to lose composure. There are plenty of bad actors who’d like nothing better than to rattle everyone’s cage. I think it’s best that those folks just go back and get their own houses in order, especially if they wield power. We need not give them the satisfaction of keeping us unbalanced.

I was fortunate to have met several members of the Plano Baha’i Community, who are a cross section of generations. All but one of them is of Persian descent, all but one having come here after the Islamic Republic was established. The ongoing persecution of the Baha’is in Iran is also designed to take attention away from the thievery and self-aggrandizement of a relatively small class of people, who happen to be well-connected clerics, paramilitary and sycophants to the first two. Increasingly, though, the common folk are not buying the deception, especially if they happen to know Baha’is personally.

The vast majority of the Baha’is still in Iran are likewise composed, law-abiding citizens of that country, who have broken no laws, save the dictum that everyone should be Muslim, or certain approved Christian or Jewish organizations. Perhaps our composure comes from the realization that our physical lives are not the entirety of our existence-and that those who spend their physical power capital on the temporary control of the masses will come to rue the day they crossed certain lines.

I know I’ve lived a good life, by and large, and have learned from my mistakes, That alone justifies my composure.