Category Archives: Community

Worlds Within A World, Part I

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, Hiking and Nature, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Striving, Travel

May 14, 2026- When I was serving in VietNam, my mates referred to the United States as “The World”. It was obvious that this was a euphemism, that the consensus was our homeland was, in effect, the place that mattered above all else. Our world was where family, closest friends and, for many, their sweethearts were waiting.

I have always been a globalist, seeing the people of other nations as having equal importance to me and mine, in the bigger picture. Yet, as I look at my life thus far, periods of time can be centered on a particular place, for a given number of years. Thus these 75 years have seen the following worlds.

The Saugus world (1950-1969)- Although I was born, and lived my first six months, in nearby Melrose, most of my growing up years were spent living in two houses in Saugus, Massachusetts. My wanderlust primarily saw me going around different neighbourhoods of the town, or to neighbouring Lynn. Mashpee, on Cape Cod, and the area between North Conway and Franconia, NH were part of the Saugus World, as they were our family vacation haunts. Other places in eastern Massachusetts, New Hampshire and southern Maine were gradually added to my world-with Boston only entering the list in 1964, when I went with my father on the Freedom Trail. Camping, hiking and body surfing became my idea of fun during the Saugus years. I connected with a small group of neighbourhood kids, was in my share of scraps, had crushes on girls and attempted to attend college, then dabbled in factory work-neither of which my unfocused mind met with success.

The Army world (1969-72)- Training for, and working in, postal work took me away from Saugus. Home was, successively, in Fort Jackson, SC; Fort Benjamin Harrison, IN; Fort Myer, VA; Long Binh and Cholon, VN. I was happiest when on the job, then. I had a few close buddies, but mostly kept to myself. During training, I stayed put, save for a “Most Improved Trainee” weekend pass to Myrtle Beach, SC and a few weekend nights in Columbia and Indianapolis. While in Fort Myer, I became well-acquainted with Washington, DC and learned the train and air shuttle routes between Washington and Boston. Viet Nam obviously was a constricted period, though I took R&R in Sydney for a few days and enjoyed a day in Vung Tau, a beach town near Saigon.

The College World (1972-76)- Once out of the Army, I was more focused and completed Associates and Baccalaureate work, living the first two years again mostly in Saugus, save a brief residence in Beverly, near the campus of North Shore Community College. During this time, I went on a week’s road trip to Prince Edward Island, went to Montreal and Quebec Ville, three or four times, worked several part-time jobs and hit the club scene way too often. I lived in and around the University of Massachusetts-Amherst, for the last two years of this period. Northampton and South Deerfield replaced the Orchard Hill dorms as home, during my last 1 1/2 years of school.

The Maine world (1976-78)- Not all of my life decisions have been good ones. After graduating college and substitute teaching in Saugus and North Reading, with limited success, I went back to a resort in Maine, where I had worked two years earlier. Life at Quisisana was maudlin at best, but I made busing tables a focus and the summer passed nicely. At summer’s end, with no job prospects in eastern Massachusetts and no real attachment to the Amherst area, I went north, to Bangor, as it was near Orono, where I had paternal relatives,and an ancestral connection in Old Town. There was a young lady to whom I was drawn, but it fizzled quickly. I got a small tutoring gig, then a job teaching Emotionally Disabled middle schoolers, followed, the next year by a stint as Title I Tutor. Bangor, Brewer and Dexter were my anchor towns, Etna-Dixmont School paid the bills and the mountains near Kingfield were my solace. I explored all parts of Maine and a good chunk of New Brusnwick, during this time.

After my second year of treading water, it was time to move along. Arizona beckoned, and thus came another world.

By Example

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, Inner Struggles, Personal goals, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 11, 2026- Some of what I have modeled for Hana has been physical-even crawling on my hands and knees, a little, so she can see what is involved, and reading words from left to right, pointing,as she follows each word, I also explain what I;m doing, step by step, no matter how simple the task.

She maintains focus, quite a bit more than one might expect a 4.5-month-old infant to keep attention. It seems to be a matter of storing information, either for use in a week or two, as with crawling or the sequence of letters, to recall and use as a toddler.

Funny thing about example: One never knows when little eyes and ears are picking up on what is being said or done. I had given up cursing long before Aram was born, as I just didn’t see any use for such talk, when other words met my needs just as well. He was quite assertive, in calling out what he thought was behaviour that was not in sync with words, especially in middle childhood.

I have a feeling that Hana will do the same. She already communicates quite well, with body language, eye contact and babbles that are fairly comprehensible as words. There is even a fair amount of intonation that give a sense of what she wants to convey.

Example is just the least one can do, to build character in those for whom one is responsible. It is crucial in child rearing-and just as much so, in positions of public responsibility. I had a high bar to maintain, and did, as a teacher, counselor and building principal-and even as a substitute teacher, in my last years of work. I didn’t always meet the expectations of the higher echelon or of the governing boards, but my standing with all but a few students, co-workers and parents was constantly stable.

Elected officials, likewise, would do a whole lot better to adhere to the highest standard of conduct. It’s been a while since that bar has been met, by all too many in public office. This has nothing to do with ideology. As we have seen, there are honest, trustworthy conservatives and progressives alike and there are the opposite, among both camps.

Bringing oneself to account each day seems to be the most effective counter to backsliding and it pays dividends, in terms of how one’s example is followed.

Hands and Knees

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving

May 9, 2026- Hana used her knees to move herself forward to day. She crawled forward without anyone serving as a backstop for her feet. This has been something she’s wanted to do for at least three weeks, and today, the connection clicked. She is not a quitter, and I told her I was proud of her.

Seeing the little girl keep at something, until it happened, brought me back to her father learning to ride a bicycle and, a few months later, how to swim. He was five. The earlier milestones he met all happened when I was at work: His first crawl, his first steps and his first unmimicked words. I will be around for Hana’s little victories.

Many times in life, both individually and as a community, setbacks are faced. I don’t know the cosmic reason for this. Maybe it is a matter of needing to revisit a situation and deepen one’s skill sets. Perhaps someone else involved in a process needs the same, and you are just along for the ride.Maybe those opposed to forward progress need to revisit the situation, in a position of power, and be shown, one more time, why their backward focus doesn’t work.

Regardless, getting through the situation, with the equivalent of the hands and knees working in synchronicity, is always essential. Whether the cooperation involves two people or a thousand, commitment, consultation and mutual understanding are the keys. Whether it entails the use of hand tools, power tools or electronics, making sure the devices are appropriate to the job, are in good working order, and that the instructions for their use and care are read, understood and followed, is imperative.

Every task comes back to the hands and knees.

False Equivalence

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, Community, Education, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Striving

May 8, 2026- I read a post, this evening, in which a grown woman complains that a 6-year-old, who has been diagnosed with autism, “conveniently” reins in her tantrums-when there are no flashing lights and sudden noises. My, my!

I am mildly autistic. Much of my more “inconvenient” behaviour has fallen away, over the past few decades. It’s been a while, since I was six year old -or thirteen-or twenty-five. Learning which foods aggravate my neural functioning, and avoiding them, has helped. Meditation and daily prayer also help focus my energies. Maturation, though, has been largely responsible, for changes in my behaviour.

I will say, though, that we still have a society which is poor at recognizing developmental differences between young children, adolescents, young adults and people of “middle age”. I spoke yesterday about magical thinking. People like the complainer in the above-mentioned post tend to indulge in wishful thinking. Too lazy, rigid or ignorant to recognize and accept differences in people, they stage public shaming rituals and look under rocks for reasons to excoriate those with disabilities.

While I, out of common courtesy, have made a concerted effort to evolve my own behaviours in a positive direction, If I encounter a confrontation between a neurodivergent child and an adult, other than a parent*, who is passing judgement, I will stand up for the child. There are ways to calm and refocus an autistic or other neurodivergent person. Confrontation and “tough love” are certainly not among them.

Beside, saying that a 6-year-old should be held to the same standard as an adult is false equivalence and says more about the unmet needs of the complainer than it does about the child.

  • Parents of neurodivergent children are most often supportive of their child and seek non-escaltatory solutions to situations that arise, involving their child.

Magical Thinking

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Fiction, Historical, impediments, Inner Struggles, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

May 7, 2026- Hana pushes herself to reach certain places on her crawling mat, but was showing a bit of frustration at being limited to the same route, day after day. It was time for another segment, so down went the multi-modal quilt, with its alphabet, colour bar, shapes and illustrations of animals and objects. This doubled the area that she has to navigate, and she took to it right away.

My granddaughter had been acting as if she should be able to go through walls or pieces of furniture, getting frustrated at this also, so Papa has the task of gently encouraging her to turn, when confronted with a barrier. I even showed her that my almighty self can’t go through a wall, which she found amusing, while getting the point.

Many of the old stories I am reading her now, European fairy tales, present magical solutions to harrowing scenes. I choose to focus more on the character-building elements that are embedded in the tales, rather than the amazing feats of derring do. It only touches a slight level of her consciousness, of course, but I can recall, from my own toddlerhood, having a sense that I had heard stories that pointed the way to correctness, even earlier in my life. So, we go down this path together, She will retain what sticks in her mind and re-learn the rest later.

Much magical thinking comes from being used to having certain things happen almost instantaneously- like fast food being prepared and served in minutes, or AI popping up with answers to questions, in mere seconds. Another friend, examining the matter, points out that experiencing something, even several times, does not mean that it will be integrated with one’s psyche or behavioural repertoire. “I spent a week in Sweden” hardly qualifies me to claim any more than cursory knowledge of the country and its people. “I changed the spark plugs in my Ford LTD, back in 1975”, does not make me anywhere near a skilled auto mechanic. It is integration, not encountering, that determines the level of any change one wishes to see in life.

There is also a larger process at work, sometimes called “the arc of history” and in other forums, “the Major Plan of God”. We on the ground can only understand a smidgen of it, but here’s the thing: Just as a motor vehicle can go either forward or in reverse, it moves most efficiently forward. Reverse is meant only for short distances, like backing out of a parking space, or going a few yards back to where a loved one is waiting to communicate a last-minute thought. Going backwards in society can only be temporary, mostly to correct errors made in moving ahead too quickly. It cannot be done with a view towards reinstating the “Golden Days of Yesteryear”.

I will have more to say about this in an upcoming post.

Further Direction

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Posted by on in children, Community, impediments, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Striving

May 6, 2026- Hana did three new things today: She crawled onto a clean sheet that I had spread out, specifically for the purpose of giving her more of a mobility path. She sat up, with minimal assistance, and she stood up, long enough to look out the window. Small bits of further direction arose, as she moves through her fifth month on this Earth.

Most of the changes a person undergoes are small, subtle. I have shed behaviours that annoyed me and those around me, almost without thought and over time. Likewise, my skill sets have increased, with practice in some areas, yes, but also over time and with little notice. I see those around me also going through skill set build-ups that, to them also may seem imperceptible.

Another blogger recently pointed out that institutions and communities can change, one directive, one new form, one small procedural adjustment at a time. This could be the work of would-be authoritarians, of those seeking to expand the numbers of people taking part in the civic process or just those honestly looking to streamline meetings or daily procedures. Further direction can simplify the work of an organization or it can stymie that work. Quite often, these changes are not noticed until they have accumulated and become a noticeable roadblock or until they inconvenience a critical mass of people.

In any event, it is always a good idea to take stock of changes and adjustments in one’s life, on a daily basis. Nothing is really too small to be of no consequence.

Domino Effect

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Striving

May 5, 2026- My granddaughter had a fairly good day, considering that both of her parents had to work at their sites and got home a bit later than usual. Hana is only 4,5 months old, but she puts two and two together pretty well. When she sat and watched me preparing dinner for the family, which has only happened one other time,and no one got home before the meal was ready and put on low heat, she got agitated and wept disconsolately.. Her father got home about ten minutes later and held her for a while. She recovered and was happy again, even more so, once her mother also got back.

It’s hard to know what goes on, in the mind of a pre-verbal child, but body language can give one a fairly strong clue. She enjoys being with me, AND needs her parents. She sleeps through the night, knowing that they are in the room with her, and is most relaxed when one of them is working from home. That will change in June, with both of them having to go back to the office, five days a week. By then, she will have had a bit more time to have it explained to her enough to make an impression. Plus, she and I will be able to take outings in the stroller, with a city park a ten-minute walk. Hana will thrive, given the strength of her bonds with the three of us.

This all brought to mind the thousands of children, from infants to teens, whose family bonds are tenuous, at best. Organizations like Save the Children and Children International have been able to step in and offer educational, recreational and mentoring programs, in various nations across the globe. Another such organization is New Era Children’s Foundation, headquartered in Phoenix, AZ, and with programs locally there, as well as in East Africa and South Asia https://necf.asia/north-america/

Both involvement and neglect have domino effects. People who are abused and neglected in childhood will pay that abuse and neglect forward. Several people who were interviewed in a recent podcast were unequivocal about being perfectly willing to beat, and even kill, children of an ethnic minority in their country. When pressed further, they each said that abuse and neglect had been the dominant features of their own childhood. On the other hand, those who experience a stable upbringing are more likely to treat children well, even taking on the roles of mentor and protector. What comes around, stays around.

In my case, forty-six years of working with children, who were in various degrees of social stability, have left me that much more determined to see a highly intelligent and sensitive child build a solid life for herself. She has grounded, stable parents, so the odds are good.

Limits of Responsibility

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Posted by on in children, Community, Family, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 4, 2026- I watched a video, this evening, in which several grown men and women openly advocated the killing of children who belong to an ethnic group with whom these “adults” are at odds. Their rationale was either, “They’ll just grow up to oppress us” or “Nobody protected me, when I was a child.” I felt nauseated, just as I was sickened by all the venom expressed when Black children were being killed in the 1960s and again in this decade; when Hispanic children have been rounded up, regardless of citizenship status, in the last ten years.

Know who slaughters their young? Scorpions. We humans pride ourselves on the safeguarding of children. By and large, we do a credible job of seeing our young through to adulthood. A growing awareness of, and willingness to confront, pedophile networks and individuals, will gradually bring those twisted criminals to justice-regardless of their social rank. The mindless attacks on children, in areas where civil conflict is being stoked by their countries’ leaders, needs to be called out, openly and without regard for grievances between adults. Children are not responsible, ever, for the differences between those old enough to face the consequences of their actions. Nor are today’s children responsible for what happened in the 1960s or 1970s to those who make them the targets of revenge.

I know, now and as long as I am of sound mind and body, that my grandchild(ren), extended family and any friends who may be with them will not be harmed by any adult (or adolescent, for that matter) without consequence to the perpetrator. Adults are responsible for children, not the other way around. It is time those who don’t understand this, learn it-and internalize it.

Not Erasable

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Hiking and Nature, Historical, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving

May 3, 2026- My granddaughter showed a bit of sass, this evening, telling me in babble and gesture, that she had done her business, with no difficulty, so there! This was because her mother and I had been checking her constantly for bms, all day, and she was getting tired of it.

I have no doubt that when Hana puts her mind to something, it’ll get done, to the best of her developmental ability. I will advise her to make sure her sassiness doesn’t create more problems than it solves, as time goes on. That understanding will increase, as she grows and learns what works with people and what doesn’t. She already listens to me and to her parents, about staying within the boundaries we have set for her crawling practice, and lulling herself to sleep when it’s nap time. She also has very tender heart, and already shows concern for us, if we cough or sneeze too loudly. Sass, however, is to girls what swagger is to boys, so they and I will work to help her channel it into a useful tool of self-defense.

I am not one of those who believes in extinguishing the fire within a human being. People have, to some extent or another, been encouraged, or expected to show subservience to those in positions of power. I believe in a system, as the best way to insure continuity and progress. That system however, to borrow the cliche, is one “of laws and not of men”. Human beings are never going to be perfect, and need the guardrails of codified law. The law, when growing out of the Golden Rule, will serve to channel the impulses and behaviour of human beings in a positive direction.

This brings me to the implications, in some circles, that a pecking order should be restored to our society. The problem I have with that is: Most people I have observed, over the past fifty years or so, seem to know what they’re doing, have the best interests of self and others at heart and don’t need to take a subservient role. No group is replaceable, nor is anyone erasable.

People who say otherwise are invariably looking for one of three things, in their worldview: Power, purity or convenience. Not all such people are Fascists. The naturalist John Muir looked for serenity in nature. Towards that end, he convinced himself, and others, that no one of consequence was living in the areas of Yosemite and Sequoia/Kings Canyon National Parks, when in fact, the Ahwahneechee Nation was quite established in those areas and was physically removed by the National Park Service, in the early 20th Century. There are, a sit happens, members of that Nation who still live in the area, and who have even taken employment with NPS, in order to maintain stewardship of their homeland. People cannot be erased.

May Day

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Family, Historical, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving

May 1, 2026- As another gray day dawned, yet in a new month, Hana and I looked out at the squirrels frolicking on the lawn and in the trees, as they went about their day of climbing and parkour. (Squirrels are premier roof-vaulters.) For her part, my granddaughter was focused on army crawling and semi-crawling, as she is now able to move with her hands and knees in sync, though not yet with her torso fully off the ground.

Several people, across the country, and in some other nations,observed a day of protest. Many were on strike. May Day is traditionally a day for Organized Labour to call attention to its grievances, and on this particular day, concerns are many. We did our shopping earlier in the week, so it was not hard to honour the call to refrain from discretionary commerce. Son and daughter-in-law had light work schedules, and I, being retired, had only my labour of love to engage, as I have done every day for the last four months and two weeks. So, we were, in a de facto sense, in sync with the day’s mood.

Protest and criticism often rankle their targets. A parent may take umbrage at a child’s refusal to go along with a directive. Government officials, increasingly these days, don’t like it a bit, if citizens stand up and voice a contrary opinion. I watched a program this evening, in which a judge ordered a witness to break confidence, and the witness refused, thus invoking a contempt-of-court citation and time in a holding cell. (The judge’s move backfired, as the witness’s confider took the stand and spoke truth to power. The jury then convicted the defendant-who was a friend of the judge.)

We are all made different, distinct from one another, right down to our basic building blocks. Even identical twins have differences. So, there is no way that any two people are going to agree, 24/7. Yet, there is, especially among insecure people in positions of authority, an increasing intolerance for criticism, either public or private. The operative word here is insecure.

A better course of action is always to hear out the criticism, find points of truth in it, and examine how those points of truth could help one improve. That requires reflection and trust in one’s basic abilities.