Tag Archives: family wedding

The Hana Chronicles: Month 8, Day 15

0
Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, Hiking and Nature, Historical, impediments, Inner Struggles, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

September 5, 2026- Hana carefully observed two visitors today. One was a fast-talking salesman, trying to drum up business for his pest control company. She smiled wanly at him, but didn’t offer her customary “Hi”. The second, a plumber, was here to look at an area of our concern. She smiled a lot more at him, and said “Hi”. My grandchild already has a sense of people.

She again talked a lot, and was glad that I sat down with her, while Mom and Dad were fixing dinner. I told her that I was glad she was using her teething ring, and she showed me the toy. Her top lateral incisors (canines) are coming in, and so she is chewing on a lot of teething rings-and a few things that aren’t.

HANA’S NOTE- I like to be able to choose my own activities. Papa lets me do that, so it’s fun to have him in the playpen.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-2019 The day after the family wedding, last June, Aram asked Yunhee to marry him and she said “Yes”. They had a civil wedding in November of last year, on the island of Guam. On March 10, they had a Baha’i wedding, in Kwangju, South Korea. I was there, a few days early. The journey from Phoenix to Los Angeles was a lesson in patience (United left Phoenix two hours behind schedule), and I arrived at LAX, 90 minutes late, the result being that I was the last passenger to get on the plane for Seoul.

The wedding itself was small, by Korean standards, yet it was dignified and happy. The reception hall was full afterwards, and why not? The food was plentiful and tasty. Our family had now officially spanned the Pacific. I joined a family outing to Cheonju, a city with an interesting historic district and went with Aram and Yunhee’s father to a men’s spa. Gender-separate bath houses are very common in Korea. A day or two later, I flew back to the U.S. and my Korean family continued their Naval life.

I had cut ties with the unsettled woman, last October, after she threatened to see that I lost my job.. She nonetheless parked her RV at the park across the road from our little Quad. She never directly tried to pester me, but I knew I was being watched. That aside, I was starting to be affected by mold in my workspace; all of us-staff and students, were. It was affecting my judgment and my energy level. In late March, I threw my left knee out, taking a step down on stairs I had walked down dozens of times. It was a mild sprain, but after treatment and two weeks of P/T, I was okay again. In mid-April, though, a misunderstanding with another staff member led to my deciding to leave the Autism Program. The day that I resigned, the RV lady drove off and I have not seen her since.

In summer, I set out again on a cross-country journey- starting with a visit to an old friend in Coal Mine, AZ, then camping at Canyon de Chelly, before taking the customary northern route, through Albuquerque, Amarillo and Oklahoma, visiting with Xanga friends there. This time, though, I drove across Arkansas and Tennessee, visiting my friends in Crossville, then stopping in Chattanooga and Knoxville. I had Elantra serviced in Knoxville, then headed over to Asheville, NC, taking in that city’s elegant downtown. The road then took me to Tryon, NC, a town that I had briefly considered as a Home Base, sight unseen, in 2011. I might have been happy there, had Prescott not captivated me.

South Carolina brought satisfying visits to Columbia, Aiken, Hilton Head Island and Charleston. I took in Fort Sumter, another spot on Penny’s 2007 virtual field trip itinerary that we had not fulfilled. Back in North Carolina, I visited a Baha’i friend in Salisbury and stopped in Raleigh, to do laundry and spend time in the Capitol District. Another visit with dear Xanga friend in Virginia Beach, was followed by a drive across Chesapeake Bay to Cape Charles and Virginia’s Eastern Shore. It was fascinating top watch the ponies at Assateague, frolicking in the surf. Then came a stop in Dover, DE-the compact and delightful capital of the First State. My Oley stop followed, then up through PA to New York, and a visit to West Point-the last of the three Service Academies I’ve visited. My Dad had always wanted to go there, so I fulfilled his wish for him. Popeye Doyle (“The French Connection”) never went to Poughkeepsie-the foil in one of his throwaway lines in that movie. I spent a day or so in the town and in nearby Newburgh. Lovely area, along the Hudson River, though both cities were a tad rundown.

Going north, I decided to drive through Massachusetts’ southwest corner, stopping in the southern Berkshires, at Egremont. In Saugus, for Independence Day, saw fireworks and had quality time with Mom and my siblings. I made a return visit to Amherst, and my alma mater-University of Massachusetts, then toured Mt. Holyoke, a women’s university, south of town. Across Connecticut, I sopped in Danbury and spent time with that city’s Revolutionary War sites. The next main stops were Pittsburgh, for a Baha’i Holy Day gathering, Mishawaka, Chicago-for a night in Wrigleyville, near the Cubs Stadium, Wilmette, Wapello, IA, Kansas City and a small town named Satanta,KS. I paid respects to the fallen at Silver Creek, CO, a solemn cap to my sojourn.

Fall brought me back into substitute teaching, with a more connected sense of mission. I chose my assignments more discerningly, going forward.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 8, Day 14

0
Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, Hiking and Nature, Historical, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Slow Food Prescott, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

September 4, 2026- Hana listened, with rapt attention, as a home foundation specialist was explaining his observations to her mother and me. How much she retains from this sort of discourse is anyone’s guess. but it would seem to bode well for when she sits in a classroom and expected to pay attention.

My granddaughter has a very strong sense of place and is finding her way into participating in various situations. There is a canister, in which Yunhee stores yellow beans. Hana used it as a hand drum, this evening after dinner. I played a drum given me by a friend in Arizona, about eight years ago. She stopped her own drumming and started to dance a little bit.

Between her increasing vocalizations and keen awareness, I sense this Autumn is going to find a very active little girl keeping everyone busy.

HANA’S NOTE- I like drums and I am sure Papa will let me play his drum, as long as I don’t try to chew the stick.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-2018 When one reaches a certain level, in personal growth, the Universe is there to put that growth to the test. This was a year for me to be tested

The first several months were quiet and peaceful enough. The Spring semester went well in the Autism Program and I made a visit to southern California, focused on Orange County alone-as Aram had been transferred to Busan, South Korea and was thus back to his roots. In June, I headed off on another lengthy cross-continental journey. Carson City was my first stop, for a three-day visit with one of my soul families. Then came places like Pioche, NV; Salida, UT; Limon, CO. Sedalia, MO; Carthsge. Il and my customary stops in Wilmette and Mishawaka.

I felt comfortable about driving in Canada, and so explored a bit of London, ON and Toronto, before stopping in Montreal for a weekend. As it happened, it was Formula 1 Racing Weekend, and the town was a madhouse. I still found a hostel in which to spend Friday night and Sunday night. Saturday would be at an Air BNB, I took in a great deal of Montreal on Saturday, and when it came time for an afternoon walkabout near McGill University, I parked Elantra on a quiet stretch of road, west of the University. 40 minutes later, I returned. My belongings, a suit to be worn at a family wedding and an anniversary gift were all in the back seat. That turned out to be a dumb arrangement. The back left window of the car had been smashed and my laptop, with my passport, was gone. Everything else was left. Once the insurance company had been called and the police had come along and processed the scene, I took Elantra to a parking garage, taped a plastic bag over the window frame and went with my bag to the Air Bnb. I was the only guest, amazingly, so the owner said I could take turns sleeping in each of the the three bedrooms. I found one to be more than sufficient. After a Sunday of exploring more of downtown, I was treated like royalty at the same hostel where I had spent Friday night. On Monday morning, I reported my lost passport to the U.S. Consulate, which alerted the border station in Champlain, NY, that I was cleared to re-enter the U.S. After getting my window replaced, I bid farewell to Montreal and drove to Plattsburgh, NY-my maternal grandmother’s hometown. Grama watched over me the rest of the way. I took in Ausable Chasm, historic sites in Scranton, and Valley Forge, over the next few days, followed by an evening visit to Oley.

Next came Philadelphia, and the wedding of my youngest niece. Aram and Yunhee, seriously dating, flew all the way from Korea for the wedding. It was an exquisite affair, and my family wholeheartedly welcomed Yunhee. The next day was Father’s Day. We all enjoyed the post-wedding brunch at the hotel where the wedding party was staying. Then the three of us bid farewell to the family and went off to explore more of Philadelphia. After an early dinner, I bid bon voyage to Aram and Yunhee, who had to head clear back to Korea on Monday morning. My destination for the evening was Baltimore. I spent the day there, including a visit to Fort McHenry-one of the places we didn’t get to visit on our journey in 2007.

The road then took me southward, with a three-day visit to eastern Virginia’s historic sites- Williamsburg, Jamestown and Yorktown. A short visit with a dear Xanga friend, in Virginia Beach, preceded the historical jaunt. I made what would be my last visit with my mother-in-law, in Spring Hill, FL, afterward, and bought a new laptop there, thus not having to depend on my phone for all communication. Driving back across the South, I visited another Xanga friend in Crossville, TN, then drove westward, taking in the Civil Rights Museum, in Memphis, as well as Beale Street. Three days later, I was back in Prescott.

Passing the test of losing a couple of important possessions was not all that hard. In the Fall, a well-meaning friend thought I needed female companionship. I had a good lady friend in Prescott, already, but he had “a better idea”. The person with whom he connected me was unsettled, had been abused in childhood and was quietly seething-looking for a target. She saw fit to question my very worth as a human being, essentially. After two weeks of turbulence, we agreed it was not a good idea for either of us, to continue our friendship.

2018 ended with my self-concept and equilibrium in balance. The Red Cross was calling on me more often, I was involved in Slow Food Prescott and was becoming a regular volunteer at Prescott Farmers Market. I was almost out of harm’s way.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 8, Day 7

0
Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

August 28, 2026- “Let’s go.” With that remark, Hana stood at the gate to her playpen, and was ready for me to help her take some steps. She is not shy about asking for help, or,as was the case today, telling me she wants assistance. I carefully opened the gate and we took about a dozen steps, almost making it to her mother’s office. She stopped at the small rise between her play pit and the front door. After thinking for a few minutes, she took the step up and made it along the wooden floor as far as her father’s pair of sneakers. Her mother came out of the office and Hana decided she’d done enough step-taking for the morning.

The three of us went shopping at Costco, as Aram was at work. When Yunhee said she was going into the fruit cooler, to get blueberries, Hana excitedly said “Yum!” She can’t get enough of them. The four of us do go through blueberries rather quickly.

She was exhausted by day’s end, not letting herself sleep, even when put down for a nap. She had to keep practicing standing and scooting, much of the afternoon. After her bath, she was in bed by 6:45, and out like a light.

HANA’S NOTE- I am glad that Papa understands me, when I say some words in his language. I am understanding his language, and my Mama’s, more and more.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-2011 Aram made the call, while I was at work, in the last few days of February. Penny’s visiting doctor and home nurse had both come down with the flu and were unable to fulfill their visits. She needed care, regardless, so back to the Hospice she went. We spent most of our time there, the next several days. Penny began to throw out the artwork that visiting children had left, and she was asleep most of the time, anyway. My wife of twenty nine years became unresponsive in the evening of March 3. She remained in laboured breathing, the next day. as there was no available room for me to stay that night, Aram and I went home.

The next morning, I awoke to a heavy presence that filled our bedroom. I knew Penny was saying goodbye. Getting up and readying for the day, I took a call from the Hospice, just after 6 a.m. We had to go there quickly. When Aram and I arrived at the Hospice, the air was still, but there was a light spiral of dust and leaves going upward, near the front door. We went inside, where the nurse said she had just checked on Penny and she was lying calmly, in shallow breath. That breath had stopped, however, at 6:03, and her still warm body was lifeless, as I held her hand. We summoned the doctor, called a friend who was a mortician, and spent about thirty minutes saying our own goodbyes. We then had to drive to Prescott, and sat with Penny’s parents, in this time that no parent should have to endure.

The following Tuesday, I wrapped my beloved’s body in silk, carefully following the directions I was getting from her spirit. It was a dignified ending, to a horrific eight years of physical and mental decline. It had witnessed me grappling with every bit of self-loathing, while I kept going because Penny needed me, our son needed me and, I needed myself to get a grip and somehow pull through.

Family came, we gave her a loving funeral and then, I was alone, save for our son. I went back to work at Dysart and Glendale Union, the following Monday. Outside of work, though, I was a shell of a person, for two months. In May, Aram and I drove east, to my third niece’s wedding, in New Hampshire, one for which Penny and I had prayed for most of our last year together. It was an event that I needed to attend, even if some of the family thought it was too soon for me to be out. It was a beautiful affair.

Summer came soon after. Aram entered the Navy. I moved my belongings to Prescott, leaving behind our home of eight years. Then I drove east, again, spending a week at Louhelen Baha’i School, slowly pulling myself together. Visits with family in Georgia, New Jersey and Massachusetts were alternately hard and comforting, but I’m glad to have made them. When I went back to Prescott, it felt like I was settling into a haven of peace. Gradually, I would shed the cloak of self-loathing and earn the respect of all but one or two of my family members. I would also feel like I had found community, at long last.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 8, Day 5

0
Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Education, Family, impediments, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

August 26,2026- Hana was able to stand upright, without support, for four seconds. She is also able to scoot, along the bars of the playpen, for about five steps at a time, and is able to transition from one section of the bars to its perpendicular neighbour.. She is on a rather systematic mission to master all the prerequisites of walking.

My grandchild has associated my being with her, with her parents’ absence. So, she was trying to figure out why I still rock her to sleep for her afternoon nap, when she knows her mother is in the house. I explained that “Mommy needs a nap, herself.” She then relaxed and went to sleep on my shoulder, seeming to understand that it would be hard for either of them to sleep, as Hana likes to play with Yunhee, when they are in the playpen or on the bed,

Hana has her grandmother’s single-mindedness, and will surely master anything to which she sets her mind. The rub is that she will need to learn when to defer her mission, so that things her parents need her to do can take precedence. This will later transfer to her school life. The willfulness can work, once that balance is reached.

HANA’S NOTE- I like to have just a small snack, like bits of fruit or cucumber, when my grownups eat their big meals. I have my meals earlier, but I still want to sit with them and be part of things.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-2009 I was starting to get overwhelmed by trying to hold down a job, at the same time as the long hours needed to care for Penny, as she became increasingly unstable. She could no longer drive. That came to an end in 2007, when she admitted to being scared to even try driving in an empty parking lot. She could manage her motorized scooter, but wanted me to be with her, when she was anywhere other than the ASU West campus.

I left WIS, in March, and went to work for a mental health agency, whose motto was “New Ways of Thinking”. Those turned out to be “The boss is always right” and “We are here to serve the insurance industry.” In fairness, I was running on fumes a good part of the time I was serving clients, and even more so when sitting in training sessions or in meetings. I was let go, at the end of the 3-month probation period, but was not replaced. A co-worker I met by chance, afterward, told me they were trying to cut costs-and that was the real reason I was terminated.

I attended Penny’s graduation from ASU West, a few weeks later. There, we met Nancy Pelosi, the singer Alice Cooper and President Barack Obama, who gave the graduation address. Penny had opted out of attending all her other graduation ceremonies, over the years. The meaning of this one made up for all those.

We made one last road trip across the country, to attend my second eldest nephew’s wedding, in New Jersey. As it was, by chance, not far from the Fellmans’ house, we stayed there, though Penny’s parents were in Arizona. Her younger sister was there, though. The wedding was lovely, but the trip had a finality to it, that I could not completely grasp. One silver lining was that all the work we had done, the past six years, to get access to restrooms for disabled people and their opposite sex caregivers, was starting to pay off. In four states along the way, we found facilities that had “family” restrooms-one seaters that could be locked from the inside. Other times, we still had to prevail on kind souls to stand guard outside, while we tended to nature’s call.

Lady, our family dog for the past fourteen years, passed away in September. She was 17 and had severe arthritis, unable to move without screaming in pain. It almost felt like she was going on, to prepare a place for Penny-but we were far from ready to give up the fight. I went back to substitute teaching and she busied herself with looking for positions in Technology Education.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 7, Day 10

0
Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, Hiking and Nature, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

July 31, 2026- We couldn’t go for our walk today, because two of us over the age of 30 forgot to take the stroller out of the trunk, when we got back from the doctor’s, on Wednesday. Hana occupied herself nicely, using me as a support in pulling herself up to a standing position, several times today. This is something she want to do on her own and she will get it accomplished. I would say that, at this rate, she will be standing, pretty easily, by the middle of August.

Her speech is also rapid fire and sounds fairly specific, though much of it is babbling, still. “Mama”, “Oma”, “Apa”, “Daddy”, “Dada”, “Mommy” and “Papa” are all spoken with regularity. “I want”, “I don’t want”, “Yeah” and “”I love” also are clearly pronounced.

HANA’S NOTE- I really, really, really want to walk. I like standing up. I can see so much more.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-1983 My paternal grandmother was someone I thought would live forever. A month shy of her 84th birthday, Nana was choking on something,at a Senior Center lunch. A well-meaning gentleman intervened, and performed a Heimlich procedure on her. It didn’t have the desired effect and she had to be hospitalized. She died shortly thereafter. Nana lived to see 49 grandchildren and at least a dozen great-grandchildren. One of those grandchildren preceded her in death. The rest of us honoured her memory.

Penny and I settled into Tuba City, and into our work. We were regulars at a coffee house that was put on each week, at the Episcopal Church. We had people over for dinner, at least once a week and taught those who were interested, about the Baha’i Faith. One comment, from a video store operator, who was a member of Four Square Gospel, still sticks in my memory: “All religions follow the same God?” That is indeed our story, and we’re sticking to it.

We also traveled around the Southwest: Pipe Spring, Colorado City and Lake Havasu City (for Christmas), in Arizona; on our First Anniversary-Durango to Silverton, Colorado (on the Narrow Gauge Railroad); Chama,Rio Grande Gorge, Taos and Santa Fe, New Mexico and several Baha’i-sponsored events, from Phoenix and Casa Grande to Jemez Springs and Crystal, New Mexico. In the Fall, my brother, Glenn, married his sweetheart, Barbie. So we made the trip back to Massachusetts, at the height of foliage season. It was sweet.

We did very well, as a couple, during this first year of wedlock.