Category Archives: distraction issues

Tantrums

4
Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Education, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 19, 2023- As the tall child lay on the floor, screaming, it was abundantly clear that going home was not on the agenda. It was all about playing with a classmate’s toy, and that was that. Eventually, one step at a time, two team members and a bus monitor got the child on the bus-and the toy that was out of reach was likely forgotten. It is the moment, and only the moment, that matters.

Tantrums are hard, for those of us who have become inured to life’s challenges, to understand-until we become tired, and a bit cranky. Then, we let loose with plaints of our own, though hopefully, not by lying on the floor, or the steps of a bus, and wailing in full voice. That we continue to fall into a flailing cycle at all, even verbally, is sad-but it’s part of being human.

Last week, while managing the Red Cross shelter, I felt discomfited by what, in retrospect, were mild criticisms coming from both above and below. Once those complaints were addressed, to the extent possible, it was clear that much of the outcry was based on opinion, not on actual threats to the well-being of residents and staff. Those above me issued a warm card, which I received in today’s mail and those alongside me were uniformly clear in their satisfaction with how the operation had gone during my tenure -and was continuing to flow, under my successor, It is the system, properly applied, and not the personality of the middle manager, or of any other staffer, that makes the operation flow smoothly.

No demand can ever bear fruit, unless all aspects of the situation that brought it into being, and all possible outcomes and consequences of its posting, are considered. This is a fact lost on a flailing child, but one that should never be ignored by a disconsolate person of maturity.

The Nuance of Weird

6
Posted by on in Assistance, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Striving

April 18, 2023- The car pulled into Costco Gas, by way of the exit and faced the wrong way towards the pumps. Driver was swiftly corrected by the station’s attendant, and shortly thereafter pulled around and came in the same way as the rest of us.

I don’t often witness a general energy of the off-kilter quite so widespread as today’s. Whether it is due to the coming New Moon eclipse or just the result of a collective ennui, people were acting in rather a backwards manner or in complete obliviousness to their surroundings, in various moments. A young woman was dancing, this morning, in the middle of a pedestrian crossing in downtown Prescott-innocently enough, but seemingly unaware of anyone around her. It was a Thoreau moment-definitely a different drummer. Later, a woman walked to the far end of our post office lobby, thinking the exit door was in a different place than it has been for the thirteen years she has lived here.

For someone like me to make such observations may seem odd, in and of itself, but I have become accustomed to mostly neurotypical behaviour, since I moved here, twelve years ago this July. Not today, though; the pace of oddity seemed to accelerate towards evening. The gas station incident was preceded by at least five people walking trancelike, inside our local Trader Joe’s and its parking lot. I was grateful to be well-rested and fully aware of my surroundings, lest one of them walk right into my path. On the way back to my apartment, someone went from my lane, across an inside lane and a gore point, then stopped momentarily, before continuing across to Sheldon Street, which is clearly separated from Gurley, the street that goes directly to downtown.

For once in my life, I was among those not exhibiting off-center behaviour. Having been in a position of grave responsibility might just have re-wired me. Let’s see how the rest of the eclipse unfoldment turns out.

Pushing Back On The Mud, Day Twelve

2
Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 13, 2023, Aptos, CA- Standing tall is a risky proposition. One is an easier target for the disaffected and the self-important, alike. On the other hand, it is the only way to be recognized by those who matter most-the honest and continuously hard-working people, who make up the majority of any given workforce.

We made adjustments to our daily tallying procedure, more in line with actual “winding-down” behaviour of the shelter residents, instead of counting just to have a count by day shift’s end. There are bound to be other course corrections, in the time that I have left, but they will be made without my feeling that I have failed somehow.

Today was also a day to honour and acknowledge the Monterey County team, who have been so strong in support of those whom we have sheltered. Four of us, a chaplain, translator, one of my supervisors and me, interviewed those who have chosen to stay in the parking lot, in lieu of taking a bed in the shelter. The four of them have different reasons for doing this, but they break no laws and are just as entitled to dignified treatment as anyone else.

We will finish with an uptick in the quality of our service and in everyone’s sense of well-being.

Pushing Back On The Mud, Day Eleven

6
Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 12, 2023, Aptos, CA- The little girl’s hands were caked with an eerie green chalk dust, as she pretended to be a threatening monster. I pretended to be equally scared, and ran away, ever so slowly. Anything one can do to relieve the ominous forces that have upended so many lives, young and old alike, is an imperative. Getting her to giggle with delight was huge.

We all deal with monsters. Some are internal, including my own tendency to see any exclusivity or clannish behaviour as a repudiation of my presence. Others are from without, the relative handful of people who seek to squash anything I do, out of hand. There are only a few such individuals here, among the Red Cross staff and volunteers, and thankfully, their power and influence is shrinking.

I did not ask for the position of manager, preferring to be on the same level as my coworkers, but here we are and I will complete the tasks assigned me. My most virulent critic and foe does not think much of our partner organization, either. At least he does his job in a competent manner, so I can abide his jabs and taunts-for the few days that remain. .

The monsters in our lives always reflect any inner self-doubt that remains, harboured like a latent virus, in the inner folds of the psyche. Maybe that’s why J’s nastiness and the criticism of some of the upper management are playing out like nails on a chalkboard. I haven’t run a large scale operation before, and it is taking every ounce of self-confidence to get through a given day. The wounds are salved, though, by my immediate supervisors, who keep the “wolves at bay” and encourage continuing through to the end of my watch.

Internal, or external, it is the monsters who are doomed.

Pushing Back On The Mud, Day Ten

2
Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 11, 2023, Aptos, CA- The forlorn man unwittingly managed to put at least five items of contraband in a commercial washer. Two of these shattered and led to the machine’s owner power-vacuuming it and shutting it down, until he can get time to fix it-probably on Thursday, as parts will need to come from San Jose or San Francisco.

The way things are these days, with possession of certain items being decriminalized, his denial of ownership of the contraband will get him grace from the legal system, for a time. It did not get him extended time at the shelter, which is, after all, run by a county. His clothes were dried and shaken for any shards of glass that remained, and he was escorted, bag and baggage, off the property.

The security team honoured what there was, of the man’s dignity, and by their quiet way, managed to not disturb others who were sleeping in the small shelter. This, to me, is a model for those who believe in not “sparing the rod” to follow, if they truly want to see a system based on order. He was not allowed to keep the contraband, nor was he allowed to hurt others.

While it was a strange end to a fairly quiet Tuesday, we managed to keep the residents safe, for yet another day in paradise.

Pushing Back On The Mud, Day Seven

2
Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 8, 2023, Aptos, CA– The overwrought, self-appointed security man charged towards the five of us, all clad in Red Cross uniforms, demanding to know what we thought we were doing, looking in “his” room-which was a museum chamber that was set up for a banquet. In fairness, I had misheard someone’s saying that the individual for whom we were looking was in that particular room. She was not, and so we headed down to her actual location-with perfunctory attention to the aggressive “guard”.

This was one of two cases where local residents have taken exception to our presence here. These same individuals may well object to the presence of the farm workers who make up the bulk of our clientele. Be that as it may-the world is changing, and not for the worse. The ordered, neat communities that ultraconservatism claims to be protecting are not going away, but they are changing form. A careful examination will show that communities always have been in flux. The rowdy, disordered cities of the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries became the urbane havens of the eighteenth century, followed by their industrial and commercial expansion in the nineteenth and twentieth. Nowadays, all communities are in flux, finding diversity is the norm-even in the rural areas of North America and Europe.

The day featured an Easter egg hunt, in three stages arranged by age. It also featured miscommunication that led to a person standing his ground, and rightfully so, after some workers treated him with disrespect. It featured a child going off to corner of a room, without telling her mother, which led to a mercifully brief group search for her whereabouts, her being found unharmed and emotional support given to her shaking, frightened mother. Trust me, there is no more horrible feeling than facing the off-chance that one’s heart center may have been harmed- or worse.

There were a couple of unsettled people, both of whom ended up in custody, but all in all, the day proceeded well.

Pushing Back On The Mud, Day Three

2
Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 5, 2023, Aptos, CA- It made an impression, seeing the width and height of the Pajaro River, flowing through the remnants of its namesake town. The community of 2,000 people has been inundated, and largely leveled, by the second major flood in 28 years. Most locals remember the destruction from the Deluge of 1995. Now, the artichoke fields, and some of the vineyards which have sprung up, in the interim, will again endure an unplanned fallow period. It will take a long while to recover.

Not surprisingly, feelings are raw, and voices rose in anger, late this evening, as a few rowdy children ran about while some men and women were trying to sleep, ahead of the next day’s work. Matters didn’t come to blows, thanks largely to the calm voice of the night supervisor for the Red Cross crew. Those who felt that their children were unfairly chastised by others left in the middle of the night, but that was a free choice-and no one would have continued to berate them, had they stayed in the shelter. I stand by my associate and his style of management.

The day shift produced a whirlwind of activity and resulted in more materials and services being available to the residents-both in the shelter and around town. Watsonville, the larger town west of Pajaro, was also seriously affected by the flooding, and is also a focus of services, with food being brought to them by our mental health team and outreach from various agencies, both state and local. FEMA is becoming steadily, but carefully, involved in the recovery operation.

The scene is being replicated, across the continent, by wind and ice, as well as by flowing water. Tornadoes have slammed over a dozen states; Ontario and Quebec have suffered widespread power outages, due to ice storms, which are as bad as-and sometimes worse than, torrential rain. It is bound to be a long, hard Spring, yet we’ll get through it, by diligence, encouragement and sticking together.

Pushing Back On The Mud, Day Two

6
Posted by on in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 4, 2023, Aptos, CA- It may be something in the air, or in the water, but for the second night in a row, only vigilance averted a tragedy, as a little girl on a pedal scooter blithely rolled in front of me, in this mostly quiet beach town. I was able to stop short, and her mother sternly offered a verbal life-lesson. I cannot imagine the horror that would unfold, were a life be cut short and the lives of four other people (mother, father, older brother-and me) be shattered.

Nothing of the sort happened, though, and I went on to Rio Sands Hotel, at the east end of the beach district. Many people were in the heated swimming pool, while I focused on relaxing, after a rewarding, but very busy day of running a large shelter. Thankfully, I have a dynamo of a helper, who has both thrown herself into being a bridge between my tenure and that of my immediate predecessor, while taking pains to apprise me of what needs to be done. It all is easy to understand, being similar to Yarnell Hill and Alexandria, just on a much larger scale. People are suffering, yet they see the light in the future and hold onto one another. The feeding director is providing quality Mexican food, and the hospitality team is organizing Ballet Folklorico, Easter festivities and a mid-April Pinata Fest, which they are calling a “Birthday Party”. Our overnight staff is to use the quietude of their shift, to fill Easter baskets and plastic Easter eggs.

I feel blessed by all this, a lot more than the sense of world-weariness and easy annoyance I sensed in the large Headquarters in San Jose. Perhaps part of this is the difference between a fast-paced urban existence and a more measured rural life. Yet, my vibrant assistant is an Angeleno and the more irritable of the upper managers are from quiet rural areas in the Midwest and Northwest.

It all boils down to worldview, and inner harmony. This will be a fortnight of full days and short, relaxing nights. We will, as a team, set the process of healing in motion-and set a precedent for working through any ongoing disasters.

Mellowness

4
Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Striving

April 1, 2023- The Director regarded me with a side eye. “What do you need?” This is a person around whom I have become guarded, so it was no surprise to get such a greeting, when my only intent was to say “Hi”. I told her of my coming absence, due to the impending deployment to California, and her tone softened to “We’ll miss you”. Sometimes, a mellow response to hardness will bring about a softening.

This evening, I enjoyed more mellowness, first as R & D project played tunes from the Sixties through the Teens, at Rafter Eleven. After coming back to Home Base, I went through one set of tummy tighteners (up to 50 per set, on truncated sit-ups) and joined some new neighbours around their fire pit, for light conversation and a song-guessing game. I recognized about five of the tunes, out of fourteen, so paying attention to Aram’s playlist, when he was a teen and young adult, still has its rewards. After a while, I came back in and did a second round of exercises.

Spring, for me, begins with April, and this year is no different. It is a season that stokes a mellower mood, a sensation of encouragement. Meditating on what still triggers residue of my autism, I realize that any perceived hostility towards my actions, or my mere presence (as at the Market, this afternoon) causes me to momentarily want to shrink back or disappear. Thankfully, I no longer act on that impulse. I have a place in the world, and in this community, regardless of anyone else’s opinion-or what I initially think is their opinion.

Today was no joke-and ended rather nicely. It is nice to feel mellowness.

The Beleaguered Southland

6
Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Historical, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Technical stuff, Travel

March 27, 2023- I got a text, and an e-mail, from the Red Cross, early this afternoon, wanting to know if I would be available to assist in the recovery efforts following the latest wave of tornadoes in the mid-South, especially in Mississippi. I will be available starting Sunday, so we will see what RC’s response is.

The South appeared to have endured a triple whammy, these past few days. Tornadoes have come to be expected, yet those which hit rural areas at night have tended to not get as much forewarning as their diurnal counter parts and are thus deadlier.

School shootings, sadly, have come to be expected-and are dismissed as “an unfortunate trade-off for the protection of rights under the Second Amendment”. That codicil says no such thing, but has been interpreted as protecting the “rights” of the craven and the mentally ill, to the extent that it is, itself, no protection at all for those who either don’t own firearms (the vast majority of underage students, for example), or do not bring their weapons to the workplace or leisure spots , OR are outmaneuvered/ outgunned by the aggressor. Oh, for the days of a well-trained militia and firearms safety classes, as the prime missions of the National Rifle Association.

Thirdly, the Thirtieth Anniversary of the Waco Massacre should have been a day of national reflection and shame. Instead, it was turned into a political circus. Fortunately, a good many of those who went there to reflect, grieve and process their emotions did their processing and quietly left, well before the politicizing and venting had come to a close. To me, the carnage that day was every bit as reprehensible as what followed in Jonesboro, San Ysidro, Lakewood, Sandy Hook, Sutherland, North Charleston, Fort Hood, Pittsburgh, Roseburg, Arlington, Peoria, San Bernardino, Uvalde, Parkland, La Plata, Oxford and Nashville-as well as the places which escape my recall at the moment. The deaths of people, in misguided loyalty to one man are a supreme cautionary tale-and I pray the Divine that this never is repeated, for the sake of any one leader, father figure or surrogate neurotic means to power.

I’ve spent many enjoyable days in the South, as in other parts of the country and the continent, over the years. My heart hurts for those affected by each of the tragedies above-and while certainly praying, I am also willing to go and help in the recovery process, should my presence actually be welcome-as it was in Louisiana and Dallas, three years ago.