Category Archives: distraction issues

The Cost of CC&Rs

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Personal Values, Social, Striving

June 7, 2022- I read an article, a few minutes ago, about Great Salt Lake being in danger of becoming Great Salt Lick. In my lifetime, Salton Sea, Aral Sea and Arizona’s own Stoneman Lake have virtually disappeared. I have seen huge salt licks in Nevada, which, though tourist-sites on their own, do not provide sustenance to those who live nearby. They used to be part of Lake Lahontan, which is still large, but not the behemoth it once was.

The lake, though, is not what drew those whose choices are endangering it. They came for the mountains-the Wasatch Front, which borders the Salt Lake City-Provo-Brigham City metro area on the east. They are often forced by Homeowners Associations to use exorbitant amounts of water, to maintain the green lawns which the HOAs and their attorneys regard as essential to maintaining property values. Yet, here’s the rub: The very people on whom these lawyers depend for their communities’ survival will move, maybe en masse, if the lake is sacrificed for the grass AND the toxic soil that is left behind becomes windblown, creating the sort of haboobs that sometimes torment Phoenix and its eastern and southern suburbs. The difference is that the Salt Lake bed contains huge amounts of arsenic, which would be blown eastward, into the lungs of HOA directors and tenants alike. HOAs in the Phoenix area long ago began transitioning to xeriscapes in their neighbourhoods’ yards. My guess is that Utah, being also largely in a desert environment, will have little choice in the long run, but to do the same.

Then again, there are those bottom lines to consider.

The Walls We Build

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Posted by on in Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

June 1, 2022- It took a bit of processing, as I joined a meeting and was greeted with: “Someone else (meaning me) is on the space now. I don’t want to keep talking about this.” I had met one of the people in person, a few days ago, and found her to be the opposite of the individual who was now bemoaning my presence and forgotten my name. As it transpired, the topic of their conversation was nothing confidential, though I kept to the sidelines, out of courtesy.

A few hours ago, I read a post by another friend, talking about Avoidant Personality Disorder. It rang very true to who I was, as recently as 1982. Back then, it didn’t take much for me to leave a gathering, or sit silently, alone in the presence of a crowd, having made the assumption that I was not altogether welcome.

Too much has happened, during the time of my marriage and in the years since Penny’s death, for such an attitude to hold much cachet. Yes, there are times, like this evening, when some people would rather I not be present, but that happens to just about everyone, at one point or another.

There is far more to be lost, through shutting others out, building imaginary walls or by running from those who we see as hostile or overly critical, than there is by standing our ground and making an extra effort to connect with others. I stayed on the call, until it was time for me to leave and join another one. It has to be so. I can’t go back to running and hiding.

Progress

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 31, 2022- After six months of diligent care for my body’s largest organ, the dermatologist gave me a clean bill of health. Safe sun screen, head covering and being sensible about time in the sun, including while driving a car, has apparently made a fair degree of difference.

I got my act together and greatly tidied up the kitchen and dining area. Three other areas remain, before my next journey begins in mid-June. Having less compunction about getting rid of stuff makes a great deal of difference, in this task. So, the bedroom, closet and storage unit remain. Many garden tools will go to Dharma Farm, this weekend, and there are several items that can be donated to the Disabled American Veterans.

I am opening up with suggestions to people who pose seemingly intractable problems-after listening to them for a time, instead of jumping right in with solutions. The latter approach just gives the plaintiff the sense that they are being brushed off. In the long run, there are no really intractable problems, but there are plenty which are very, very hard to resolve.

The other thing, which occurred to me this morning, during the running of an errand, is that my fretting over going to one clerk’s window, instead of another, is a bit on the egocentric side. This was a thing, for quite a few years-and it finally came into my consciousness that the only one who cared about such things, was me. Silly stuff like that was much more front and center, not that many years ago. I am learning to let go.

May June only hasten this sort of progress.

Belated Thoughts On A Blood Red Full Moon

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Personal Values, Social, Striving

May 22, 2022- It’s been a week since the cosmic event that had some people focused on the night sky. In my case, the influence was felt at the time, but not seen-as San Diego was under the May Gray phenomenon, of dense cloud cover. The pull of the full moon was there, though.

A young lady, homeless, was screaming at the top of her lungs-at no one and at everyone, outside the walls of the hostel where I was staying. Inside the hostel, two roommates in the room next to ours were fighting over keeping the window open. (“You really want the homeless people to climb in?”, said the one to the other.) Reality check: A few homeless people had already managed to follow paying guests into the building, but were simply staying under the stair wells and keeping to themselves. Climbing through windows was certainly possible, but unlikely. The conflict was settled, at least until morning, when little old me traded rooms with the person who wanted the window open. The baying at the moon subsided and we all went to sleep.

Last night, at Synergy Cafe, the manager related his difficulty in sleeping, over the three nights subsequent to Blood Red. My own dreams were certainly vivid during the same period, and I was in several strange worlds, each night. How much that had to do with the eclipse, or the moon phase itself, is up for discussion. We are all creatures of speculation and interpretation, so it could have been, as one of my brothers is fond of saying, a matter of what was eaten for dinner those nights. Unresolved conflicts, the vortex, or the unseen hovering of sketchy spirits could also “explain” things.

I was probably better off having been under the cloud buffer, but it would have been interesting to have seen the events in the heavens. Today, here at Home Base, contenting myself with tidying up and organizing three kitchen drawers of assorted items, and buying a new set of bedsheets, I’m grateful for the ebb and flow of excitement and mundaneness.

The Hard Work of True Unity

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 19, 2022- I was raised to listen to legitimate criticism and to own my mistakes. I was taught that the only real path to peace, in a family or in a community, comes from the commitment of everyone involved to personal growth. My parents said that anyone can be unified with those who say nice things to him/her or who have common opinions and interests. It’s the differences of opinion, however, that teach us the most.

Throughout my life, there have been a smattering of nefarious people, but for the most part, those who have been a challenge have also had useful lessons to impart. Their takes on life was simply different from my own and actually have helped balance this life, often in ways I did not anticipate.

So, I see that there is little for conservatives to gain by shutting out progressives. The converse is also true. The fact is, none of us corners the market on perfection. We don’t deserve to be castigated or made to apologize for our existence nor do we deserve a free pass for actions that will only hold us back later. The same is true with mindsets. Looking at things through different lenses, as long as it does not result in overthinking, or mental paralysis, can help us make more complete decisions.

The other thing about unity is that it never gets very far along, if a decision-maker assumes that his/her way of thinking entitles unilateral action, from a place of privilege. Witness the recent, supposedly informed decision to close an infant formula plant in Michigan. This appears to have been made in haste, based on unverified reports of contamination-which subsequently proved unfounded. Such errors in judgement, especially by government agencies which have scant oversight, only feed concerns-and conspiracy theories, that government is running amok. This is a rough parallel to concerns about police actions that seem to have been done in haste-though it is a fair point that the police are often under far more pressure to decide quickly than are the overseers of public health.

True unity recognizes the dignity, the worth of every soul. It does not excuse wrongdoing, nor does it invite self-serving individuals to subvert the process of consultation for their own ends. Rather, it sees that each one who does make such misguided efforts actually ends up hurting selves as well as the rest of humanity.

So often, it is easy to be fooled by glitz, by sweet promises or by appeals to one’s own long-cherished beliefs. In reality, there is no substitute for rolling up one’s sleeves and getting the hard work done. We’re in this together, and for the long haul.

Transitions

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 9, 2022- The child kicked and screamed, at the moment that transport from school to home arrived. He had to be restrained, and carried bodily to the vehicle, all the while saying that school was his home now. The vehicle left, with him and his older sister in it, after the ten minute transition.

This raised more than a few red flags in my mind. Why would anyone, even a special needs child, so resist going home? There was one other occasion when a student refused to get on the bus, but that one looked at us, mischievously, and said “As long as I stay off the bus, YOU guys can’t leave, either!” His aunt came and got him, so it meant an extra thirty minutes of time on campus. This felt different, and will bear monitoring, when I go back there, later this week.

People tend to resist change, quite often. I have to wonder, though. What is so great about a particular situation, way of thinking or practice that ALL other possibilities are treated as “off the table”? I do have an understanding of inertia. To some extent, getting up in the morning requires a fair amount of resolve-especially during the months when it’s dark still, well into the morning. The understanding, that it’s not really good for my health to stay in bed too long, has helped-as well as the fact that I am in a warm home, and fairly comfortable.

Bigger changes, though, still have that aura of adventure, so I guess I am a bit of an outlier, in both enjoying routine activities while they run and being glad for even the most seismic of twists and turns as they happen. Maybe it’s a matter of seeing both as the means to personal growth.

Renewal

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Posted by on in distraction issues, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Striving, Travel

May 6, 2022- A new “passport wallet” arrived today, taking the place of one I received from my little family, two years ago. It never did hold my passport, as COVID kept so many of us within national, and sometimes state, borders. This one may well be more likely to do so. On a different note, I have to replace my main water system’s filter. The new filter will take three weeks to arrive-from who knows where. I am glad to have a portable back-up.

I spent another few hours tidying up my posts from a 2014 visit to Europe, and re-read all those intentions I had to go back over there in 2017. Various things, mostly financial, happened to nix that. Some have, in fairness, rolled their eyes at my ongoing talk of more overseas adventures and time will tell. It will not be for lack of trying, though, and I do keep getting inklings that certain places are in my short-term future.

I went over to Planet Fitness and got acquainted with the new equipment, which the owners had installed last week. I found it all much easier to use, than the older pieces it replaced. Surprisingly, the staff is rather “Meh” about the refurbishing, with a “Glad YOU like it” response to kudos. Maybe there was lack of consultation, involved, or just sour grapes about working on a Friday night.

Each day, some things are replaced and others keep on doing their part. Renewal- of health, of energy, of friendships and of joy in living, seems to take place regularly enough that whatever self-doubt that hits me in the dark before dawn is fairly quick to dissipate, these days.

Getting Over It

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Posted by on in Community, distraction issues, Education, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Striving

May 2, 2022- I admit it, there are still people who I find irritating, almost adversarial. Most are those in positions above me or who gather in small cliques, and leave me feeling like an outsider. So it is always back to the drawing board, and with the help of meditation, arriving at an understanding that their gamesmanship or maneuverings have nothing to do with me, per se. If it wasn’t me being excluded, it’d be someone else. I also have to take stock of my own expectations: Am I in search of some special place, some role of insider?

The conclusion I come to is, I don’t really want to be part of an exclusive group. My door needs to be open to those who suffer, who go without. My heart, last week, was more with the clients, the donors, my immediate teammates, than with my supervisors, who could barely bring themselves to acknowledge our presence. The same is true of certain schools. I take assignments because I get on well with the teachers and students. The front office staff is almost too busy to greet us or say thanks, and that’s just how it is.

If that all sounds like exclusion in reverse, well maybe so-but I did not make the first move, in that regard. Anyone is welcome to be part of my world; those who would rather not, well, Godspeed and make the most of your positions and perks. If my help is needed, I will show. If not, then there are plenty of places where my presence is welcome.

I know this goes way back, all the way to childhood, and the groups who kept to themselves. I long ago forgave and forgot those slights, but the aggregate leaves me wary. Someday, with enough self-work, I’ll get over it. Until then, the struggle is real.

Round The Maypole

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Historical, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Striving

May 1, 2022- I watched a video of a climate change activist being interviewed by a prominent social change agent, whom I have recently befriended online. The session itself was broadcast on Earth Day, and suffice it to say, I have been so largely occupied with the secondary effects of said climate change, over the past two weeks, that sitting down and listening to the very cogent observations of Peter Kalmus was something that stayed on the back burner until now.

Many of us might be tempted to treat Earth Day, May Day and other social change-themed events as we treat so many other public days: With a view towards entertainment. The people of western Europe had a practice of dancing first around a live tree, then around a secured branch that stood erect, in mid-Spring, which eventually became established as May 1. Because it was fertility-based and came to involve sexual activity, the practice was banned in Puritan communities, both in Europe and North America. The fertility aspect took a back seat, in many cases, to the hedonistic. May Day has more recently become a day for social activism, especially regarding labour issues. Earth Day retains its overall conservation focus, perhaps because there is a dichotomy, even among those living in comfort, between focusing on the well-being of the planet and letting loose in celebration.

While I hardly see harm in finding joy in life, including an element of service, to the planet and to humanity, in our observances will go a long way towards mitigating the damage already done. Performing an act of service each day is even better. There is plenty of time for both.

I am grateful to Marianne Williamson, with whom I have only recently become acquainted, for raising issues that strike at the core of our collective being. We are all in a process of growth, even if some do not consciously focus on it. We are all going around the same maypole.

Bouncing Back

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, distraction issues, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

April 29, 2022- April is the antipode of October, so it was no surprise to me that there was a mini-crash on Wall Street today, the first such event since the Covid Crash of March, 2020. Chances are, it’ll also be a short-lived slump, unlike that of October 29, 1929. There were several reasons for today’s downturn, the simplest being that it was the last trading day of the month, and even high rollers like their payday. The rest of the causes would take someone much smarter than me to explain.

My energy level was a bit lower today, as well, and it took me a bit longer to feel ready for the various activities, most of which were faith-based and on Zoom. Eventually, thanks to a nice breakfast at Zeke’s and the company of good friends (virtual, but no matter) through the day, I got errands done, and affirmed hostel reservations for my short jaunt to SoCal, in a few weeks. I also completed a long-running task that had started back in October.

There is seldom any end to either opportunities or challenges. The trick is to not let the latter upend the former. Thus, my work projects here and my travels are not going to be waylaid by temporary setbacks in the financial sector, though I promise not to be reckless in that regard. One can always truncate, without too much dismay.

It has always been the lot of May, in any case, to be a time for bouncing back from April’s scolding misfortunes. Besides, having completed a three-week journey without committing any faux pas, my confidence level is quite a bit stronger. Having overcome minor health challenges, I look forward to some finer days ahead.