Category Archives: impediments

The Carson Loop, Day 9: No Conference, Just Connection

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Entertainment, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

October 23, 2022, Carson City- The would-be hostess apologized for being too ill to let us enter. The devotional, scheduled for this afternoon, would also have fit the definition of community conference, which is an integral part of the Baha’i plan for the nine years 2022-2031. We can focus on building community, strengthening relationships, with all people.

Leaving that residence, the four of us, two children, their grandmother and me, headed instead to a Mexican-style ice cream parlour: Michoacan A Pedir de Boca. It was cold outside, but no matter- I was more than glad to treat my hosts to some of the best confections to come out of the Mexican state of Michoacan.

They next decided to head to a nearby WalMart, usually not my idea of a good time, but with kids, anything can become fun. Most of the time was spent in the crafts section, with a bit of food shopping at the end. The 3.8 year-old is into clocks and bells. He spotted a red numerical analog clock, and was able to tell the time. So, it became his, along with a Pre-Kindergarten activity book, covering a variety of learning skills. His older sister, who has been like a grandniece to me, from the day she was born, and whose birthday is tomorrow, will get a few books to pique her interest. For V, though, the main thing she wants from anyone in her life is connection, and the knowledge that she means a lot to those around her. That is a given, and will remain so, as long as I draw breath.

It has only been a huge life-affirming element for me to have been connected to this family, since the mid-1980s. Penny felt the same way. They are, collectively, among three such clans, besides my own biological extended family, to whom I have an ineradicable tie. I can see, because of the strength this has given me, that the number of such families will only grow, as time goes on.

The Carson Loop, Day 8: Being Ourselves

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

October 22, 2022, Carson City- There was big news out of Grapevine, this afternoon. Aram received his Chief Petty Officer pins, and will now serve in that capacity, in the U.S. Naval Reserves. He will continue to work on his Baccalaureate-and he will earn that, as well. We are a determined lot, we Boivins, as were/are our Fellman relatives.

My day here in Carson was spent with an equally determined bunch, the Smith/Carrillo/Sandoval extended family. The running conversation centered on something especially dear to my heart-the right of each person to be self. It was pointed out that most of the difficulties facing society, both here in the United States, and globally, stem from failure of people to accept each other as they are. Much of this, in turn, seems to come from personal insecurity, and as was pointed out, in another conversation, earlier this week, the notion of zero sum; if one person, or group, achieves or gets something, others stand to lose what’s theirs. This line of thinking has fostered everything from civil wars to the begging culture that arose from colonialism. It was certainly behind the brief episode of screaming and yelling that occurred last night, while I was walking along, and minding my own business. It is behind sibling rivalry, oneupmanship and people talking over each other, or interrupting someone who has the floor, and is speaking in measured tones, or haltingly.

It took a very long time for me to value who I am. I made a lot of progress in that regard, over the course of my 29-year marriage and, thus far, 34 + years of parenthood. I have had precious little trouble accepting everyone else, for who they are, but myself? It’s only, really, been since 2014, that I have been 100% okay with me.

My extended family members, one in particular, stressed that this concept is actually one of the primary keys to the growth of a peace culture, to wit: Parents should lay off pushing their children to follow a narrative that is primarily designed to fulfill the wishes of the parents, and not their own. This affects everything from mistaking a phase in the child’s life for an indicator of his/her destiny to fulfilling, for the parent(s), a long cherished dream, which is NOT necessarily the child’s own, to the attitude that so many have towards people who disagree with them, even on relatively mundane matters.

The consensus of our conversation today was: Let us each be, and love, ourselves.

The Carson Loop, Day 7: Brushing Off Gnats

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Family, impediments, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

October 21, 2022, Carson City- The truck with a “Black” flag slowed as it passed and the visibly angry passenger screamed out the window: “Get out of this town!” The truck kept on going, and so did I, walking to Ming’s Chinese Restaurant and Sushi Bar. I got my combination fried rice and egg rolls, enjoyed a few cups of hot jasmine tea, and remembered old times in Phoenix, Saugus and other places with good Chinese cuisine. I most often opted for fried rice of some kind, or buckwheat noodles. Tonight, carrying leftovers, I walked back to the motel. The gnats in the truck had been brushed off, and I had no further trouble from anyone.

The day as a whole was uneventful. Breakfast at Holiday Motel was cereal, muffin and yogurt, with “of-course, coffee”. I left Winnemucca around 11:30, then stopped for lunch at Lovelock’s Cowpoke Cafe, where a bustling lone server took my order, wiped tables and delivered soft drink orders to three tables-almost in one fell swoop. He was soon joined by three women, one of whom helped for more than ten minutes. I’m not sure what the other two ended up doing, but the food was good and the people all seemed happy.

I settled into America’s Best Value Inn, called my extended family here in Carson and made tentative plans for the next three days. Visits to a nice new home of one branch of the clan, a devotional and a birthday party will be on tap. The best news: Aram has completed his Chief Petty Officer training, for the Navy Reserve and will receive his rank tomorrow. I have a hard-working family, all around, so the various successes don’t surprise me at all.

The Carson Loop, Day 5: Swimming through Chaos

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Hiking and Nature, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Striving, Travel

October 19, 2022, Garden City, ID- I bid farewell to the wonderful family at Three Bears Inn, around 10 a.m., after hearing of their evening at an indoor water park, followed by star gazing. Being with a large and well-grounded family is always a delight. I look forward to the same experience in Carson City, with a longtime extended clan, in a few days. This, more than scenery and interesting buildings, is the bedrock of travel.

Three Bears Inn, St. Anthony, ID

Several years ago, an unfortunate incident took place, in Rexburg, just down the road. I decided that, one day, I was going to stop in Rexburg and give love from my heart, to the people who acted out, because they felt forgotten by the country at large.

It was a quieter visit than I had intended, but I did get a view of foliage, near the city’s hospital, before moving along, towards the towns along Idaho’s southern tier. Me

Douglas firs, in Rexburg city park
Red oaks, downtown Rexburg, ID

That, as it turned out, was about the extent of the camera’s work for the day. I dealt largely with chaos, both a momentary internal state- trying to make sense of the route westward, with my phone’s internet being on the blink, most of the day, and of that which stems from a region faced with growing pains, as Idaho’s southern tier is now experiencing.

Idaho Falls is the home of Melaleuca Corporation, the original purveyor of essential oils, in modern times. It’s entrance is right next to the on-ramp to I-15 south, so I was momentarily off-track. Then, in Blackfoot, 20 miles south, there is a rather large Sonic-type mom and pop drive-in burger shop, at which half of the ordering speakers happen to be on the passenger side of the parking space. A Shoshone woman, parked next to me, looked at me, then at the speaker, and shook her head. I think the idea was to have two speakers on the same stand, but it just doesn’t work, at least for a solo traveler. I left without ordering, which was okay, as breakfast at Three Bears was enough to get me through the day.

I located the westward route in Pocatello, home of Idaho State University, going through more heavy traffic which, once I was out of town, almost completely dissipated. On along I-86/84 I continued, stopping for a stretch and photograph at Oregon Trail Rest Area.

Oregon Trail Rest Stop, near Massacre Rock, ID

I drove into Massacre Rocks State Park, only to find it closed at 3:30. The site of one of Idaho’s more unfortunate events, a battle between westward-bound emigrants and a band of Shoshone people, resulting in the deaths of 8 emigrants and 20 First Nations people, Massacre Rocks also tells the story of Lake Bonneville and its feeder rivers, one of which had four times the flow of the Amazon River.

Twin Falls, an hour further west, brought dinner at Sizzler, an old standby. A personable and attentive server, named Jessica, took good care of me, and of a large group of hearing-impaired people, who were on a group outing. TF is reached by crossing a wide gorge of the Snake River, which would be a fine place to investigate further, should I come this way again.

As it was, the time had come to get to Boise for the night. I happened upon 7 K Motel, in this suburb called Garden City, around 8 p.m., too late for another Zoom meeting, but safely nonetheless.

The Carson Loop, Day 2: New Salt and Old Boulders

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Posted by on in Community, Hiking and Nature, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Striving, Travel

October 16, 2022, Jordan Valley, OR- William Least Heat Moon would probably find a wealth of interesting things to say about the vast expanse of sagebrush that occupies the Great Basin, from central Nevada, through eastern Oregon, southern Idaho and down into western Utah and parts of Wyoming. Going along U.S. 95, I find the towns and mountains interesting, but the flatlands are just part of the woodwork, so to speak. Were I to camp out in them, for several days, I might feel differently, and come up with detailed descriptions, such as the great man has done with the Kansas grasslands, in his fascinating tome, “Prairy Erth”. Yet, as another great man once wrote, “I have miles to go, before I sleep.”

About a third of the way between Tonopah and Hawthorne, in western Nevada’s outback, there lie the remains of what was likely a mining camp. The foundations of the buildings, easily accessible to all, became for a time the hangout of a group of teens-from either of the two towns mentioned above, or from the small villages of Mina and Luling, which lie a bit north of the ruins. In any event, the colourful graffiti adds an odd splotch of brightness to the monochrome of sagebrush.

Ruins of old camp, near Mina, NV
Ruins of old camp, near Mina, NV

The other, and somewhat more disturbing, element that breaks the sameness (not monotony) of the landscape is salt. Saline licks and flats have proliferated across the Basin, since I was last through the area in July, 2021. They are larger, in an area south of these ruins, and newly-established along the shores off Walker Lake, to the north of Hawthorne.

Salt flat, north of Tonopah, NV
Salt flat, north of Tonopah, NV
Salt lick, on south shore of Walker Lake

This type of salinity is toxic to birds and beasts, in its concentrated form. It is also not conducive to a nice day at the beach. It is, moreover, one of the consequences of the current drought and shrinkage affecting many bodies of water, throughout the planet-not just in the American West.

In the end, it was Oregon, not California, which became part of my route. Going north, from Winnemucca, I found myself tooling along the Beaver State’s share of Great Basin sagebrush. Then, just shy of the Idaho state line, lies this tiny community, which once had two motels and a cafe. One of the motels is shuttered and the cafe was locked and empty, but Basque Station and its adjuncts-Jim’s Sinclair and Mrs. Z’s Store are open and they’re glad to see you, even if their outer demeanour is world weary. Jordan Valley is a proud exurb of Boise, 1 1/2 hours away.

Pharmacy Hill, Jordan Valley, OR at dusk
Pharmacy Hill, at daybreak

Pharmacy Hill’s topography is of the ancient rocks that covered our continent in the Pre-Cambrian Era, as life itself was taking root, in the surrounding oceans. It reminds me a lot of the area between Kingman and Las Vegas, the first rocks thrust upwards by the actions of wind and water, which have cast the Grand Canyon. Here, though, the promontory stands by itself, oddly majestic above Jordan Valley. I will have more time, coming back this way in a few days, and may just hike up the Hill.

May mountain and hamlet long thrive.

Economy Kick

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Striving

October 12, 2022- When we were kids, there would occasionally be times when Mom would announce to us that the family was on an economy kick. That was about the extent of our involvement in family finances, but we knew that costs were outweighing income, and not to ask for anything extra. We got three meals a day, without fail, the house was comfortable and well-kept, and the clothes were always clean. Not much else really mattered, even to me, in the throes of autism, of which I knew nothing.

I had to manage a household, myself, during Penny’s decline, and through being frugal, managed to keep 3-6 people fed and comfortably housed, even while working through Chapter 7 and the uncertainties of the housing crisis, combined with medical costs. The economy kick came, almost with its physical counterpart- when an Arizona state employee came to the house and demanded I turn over Penny’s care, and her benefits checks, to the state. It didn’t happen.

Every so often since, frugality has been my answer to the forces of greed and deprivation, when they stage assaults on our well-being. I know that the financial markets, being global entities, are not cash cows, so when they get raided, I know to tighten the belt. This is what I am doing now, though it may not look like it when I head up to see friends in Nevada and Idaho, in a few days. The thing is, I don’t cancel plans to visit people, just because the powers that be are trying to take us all down a notch.

I do keep my spending to a dull roar, and am quite happy even sitting in the apartment, watching shows and reading. A foray or two to Planet Fitness, or to the neighbourhood park, works nicely, as does a walk downtown. In time, these ebbs will return to being flows, as they always do. Someday, too, the controllers of the purse will realize that prosperity for the masses of people does not mean they themselves must go without. It is not a zero sum game. In the meantime, I will continue use my funds wisely, as ever.

I’m With the Humans

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

October 11, 2022- In the past several days, we have seen a Black man attacking Jews, Hispanics attacking Blacks and Koreans, a Samoan attacking everyone who disagrees with her, and some Whites, well ……..

I attended a Poll Chaplain training this afternoon, reminding myself that when one group gets shut out, we all lose; both those on the outside and those emulating the role of the character in “Game of Thrones” who holds the door against his perceived enemies. Besides, it’s largely orchestrated by people wielding a sort of power, who know how to manipulate the fears of one group of domination by another. The scene that ensues is people fighting over crumbs.

The poll chaplain is one who helps reassure voters and poll workers that they are safe from harm, and to comfort those who are feeling under attack, while at the polling place. If I am selected for this role, it will mean three hours of my time, on Election Day-most likely in Flagstaff. I will refrain from taking sides, but will stress the humanity of those present.

I believe the Divine does not intend for any of his creatures to be left out of the full process of living. I’m with the humans-without exception.

What If..?

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

October 9, 2022-

What if there was a holiday, and everyone stayed in bed?

What if the day off had no theme, or everyone just made their own?

What if every gift you had in mind for loved ones just sat, and accumulated, because they were too busy to see you?

What if, on the other hand, there were commitments you made, months ago, and people come to you anyway, with urgent requests that necessitate schedule changes-and broken promises?

I have had these situations crop up, and have had to gently point out that each day needs some organization, some effort at accomplishing at least the daily necessities. It occurs to me that every day, whether workday or holiday, brings interaction with others, and that courtesy and self-responsibility, never take days off. It also comes to mind that people who insert themselves into other peoples’ lives are either not thinking matters through, and are either being coyly disruptive, or at least passive-aggressive.

I am much better, in my own space, at not wanting center stage in someone else’s play, and in, conversely, gently guiding people away from making random requests that are solely designed to get my attention-when I am already in a committed activity.

The Return of October

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

October 8, 2022- The Hunter’s Moon shines tonight, full in its pronouncement of the northern Autumn and the southern Spring. The northern hunter would traditionally seek out the fattest of prey, for his family’s sustenance through the winter. The southern hunter would discern the robust male of the sought-after prey, sparing the female who would be with offspring.

The past several tenth months of the year have been hot, and better characterized as AUG-tober. Not so, this year. I feel a genuine crispness in the air, and even when the dry weather returns, around the middle of this month, the temperatures are not forecast to rise to an unseasonable level. This may be a respite, a boon from the Divine, given the harshness that has hit so many, this year of feminine energy coupled with an almost inhuman push back, from the traditional sources of authority.

Those of us who genuinely act from a place of truth and love are learning more ways in which to apply that truth and love, in anomalous settings. These include the times when someone just does not want to be bothered with us. Do they not also deserve the dignity of space? They include the times when people want the chance to make their own mistakes. Do they not deserve our loving admonitions, and efforts to protect those innocent of wrongdoing, form being harmed by the mistakes of the recalcitrant?

The little boy wandered into a group of high schoolers, who were waiting to place their orders in the crowded entryway of the sandwich shop. He was looking for his mother, calling out for her, and throwing up his hands in forlorn frustration. As he neared the exit to the outside, a group of girls kept the door closed, and one of their counselors followed the child, not letting him out of her sight, until the mother was located.

Problems arise, and are best solved by the energy emanating from love and light.

Random Thoughts, As The Seasons Change

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Education, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

October 7, 2022- Some new friends, at an Oktoberfest dinner I attended this evening, told of a young lady who was their cashier, at a small store and who had said she was working two jobs, because she wanted to get things for herself and that was the only way she could do it. They were “amazed”, that such youngsters still existed. My thought: Welcome to the majority of people, young and old, alike! The noisy, entitled class are not that common, they’re just loud.

I have things that I want to do, over the next several years. So, I’m still working, to a reasonable extent. Honest work remains the best way to assure that one can cover the cost of what is wanted, or needed.

I watched an online memorial service for a man who was a friend to thousands of people, around the world, myself included. His wife and children remembered him, in a good way, which goes to show that a loving soul can and does put family first-and expands his soul family, through continuous acts of love. He was laid to rest in the midst of his beloved Black Hills. Rest in power, Tokaya Inajin. You were a fine friend and mentor.

My little family is now in the last two weeks of an extended training exercise, which when completed will leave them in a more secure position. Son will also have made solid progress in his academic work, and have 3 or 4 semesters left, after this. I have every bit of confidence that he will emerge in a place of strength.

It seems some politicians are all over the place, in their public remarks, of late. That, to me, indicates a loss of control, a sense of powerlessness. I’ve had times in my life, when that’s happened. They were not pleasant experiences, and I am grateful to my spirit guides that these are things of the past; that I can respond to challenges, both from random other people and from the course of events, in a more stable way. Another friend, this morning, called that maturity. I agree wholeheartedly.

Food for thought: Behind every extremist act, or pronouncement, lies a fear that has overtaken the mind, as well as a person who should have offered consistent care and guidance, but did not. There but for the grace of the Divine, and for the consistency of my parents, go I.