Category Archives: Inner Struggles

The Trumpeters

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, Hiking and Nature, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 16, 2022, Newnan, GA- Three trumpeter swans, mother, father and son, make the rounds of Lake Redwine, an artificial lake around which many new homes on the west side of this relatively serene town in west Georgia have sprung up in recent years. I am here, for three days, visiting my middle brother and his wife.

The swans, for years, kept other water fowl, particularly ducks, from settling in around the lake. An attack on the mother swan, by a snapping turtle, three years ago, resulted in her losing her lower beak. This seems to have mellowed out the trio. They have turned inward, reverting to the cygnine behaviour of parents bullying their cygnet into leaving the nest, once it comes of age. So far, it has not worked. Dutiful son still looks after his mother, even if it seems she may want him to move on.

How close to human are these opposing behaviours? The difference is that the birds are acting on instinct. Humans, with the powers of reason and utterance, still manage to hold grudges and thrive on half-truths. I will not give any specific examples, out of respect to those involved, but I keep learning of families in which parents and children push each other away, and not always out of a desire to see the other become self-sufficient.

With the swans, there are winners: The offspring get to start their own family and the parents can hatch a new set of cygnets. With humans, the hits often just keep on coming.

Humility and forgiveness-are these so impossible?

No Stigma

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Posted by on in Education, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Striving

March 13, 2022-

The workers in a Russian restaurant, in a large American city, found their place vandalized. There should be no stigma attached to their ethnicity or culture.

A Sikh family still mourns the slaying of their father and brother, twenty-one years after he was “mistaken for an Arab”. There should have been no stigma, even if he were an Arab, or just Muslim.

A well-groomed, well-mannered man, sporting a cowboy hat, enters a funky restaurant-bar, in a trendy West Coast town. The minute he speaks, “open-minded” people at a nearby table begin to snicker and offer ridicule. There should be no stigma, for a person’s life path and the persona that results from where one grows up.

Acceptance of others is a mirror of how each of us views self. Stigma is a mind trap.

Contaminated Minds

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Striving

March 9, 2022-

Bombing hospitals intimidates no one. It only confirms the notion that the bombers are of a toxic mentality.

Firing at children, who are running to safety, only endears the killer to those already contaminated in their minds.

Censoring information that is deemed contrary to one’s own preconceived notions fools no one-not those supporters who also believe in fairness, and certainly not those who are already opposed to the official narrative. It only shows that there is toxicity, even when the censor presents self to the people, as righteous.

The proof of contaminated minds consists of the lies, the duplicity and the corruption that permeates so much of what we see in many of the halls of power.

Are you not better off, cleansing yourselves?

Restitutions and Return Visits

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Posted by on in animal and plant life, collaborating, Community, Hiking and Nature, impediments, Inner Struggles, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 6, 2022- I was quite gratified this morning, to be given a complementary breakfast, in view of the two such meals which I had to speak out in order to receive, after paying in advance. Good will means a lot at the Legion, so when the servers mess up, the host steps up. After I was finished eating, one of our regular table mates who usually helps serve the other diners had just been given his own breakfast. So, I took a turn at service for a bit-and saw where some of the confusion may have arisen over the past few weeks. There is a tendency to write first names and family initials. There are four “Garys”, myself included and two of us have the last initial “B”. There are six “Steves”, five “Bobs” and three “Terris”. I called out the people’s names and got it done. The problem, thus, seems to be shy servers.

After my weekly Zoom devotional, the day looked open-ended, and the Agua Fria River was calling, so I made a return hike along the Badger Springs Trail, this time focusing on the section that passes by two frames of petroglyphs. The glyphs are visible to the naked eye, but don’t photograph well in a casual manner. Could it be that the spirits are protecting them from casual photographers? We’ll have to see, on future visits.

The river itself is not so coy. It does seem to be down a bit, but since it is largely dependent on snow melt, the level may yet rise, over the next month or so.

Agua Fria River, at Badger Springs
Agua Fria River, at Badger Springs

Return visits to local natural scenes are increasingly important, if for no other reason than rootedness. They also figure in acts of completion. A few days ago, I finished hiking the Lime Kiln Trail, which runs between Cottonwood and Sedona. The final segment is but 1 1/2 miles, from one segment of the Red Rock State Park access road, over Scheuerman (SHOY-er man) Mountain Ridge, across a forested valley and on to the entrance to the state park. It was a fitting end to a segmented hike that had been in abeyance for over a year.

Beginning of Scheuerman Ridge segment, Lime Kiln Trail
Junction with Scheuerman Mountain Trail
View towards Cathedral Rock, from Scheuerman Ridge

So the cementing of returns dovetails with the strengthening that comes from new discoveries.

Finally, because we need it in the face of both real and imagined tyranny: A return to the most stirring song from Les Miserables (2012). Let us neither be deluded or complacent, in the weeks, months and possibly years ahead. Every nation, every people, deserve to be free of rule from without.

Angels and Extraterrestrials

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

March 4, 2022- A review of my Birth Chart, this afternoon, showed what I have long suspected: I am a mess of contradictions, with the stabilizing aspects of my personality holding forth. Those who have stayed with me, these past eleven years of Word Press and at Xanga, beforehand, know it has not been easy. It has gotten easier, since mid-2015, largely because I owned all the stuff and nonsense that went down in the 2000s and in the months and years immediately after Penny’s passing, and learned valuable lessons from a lot of it.

There has been a lot of influence, and what I’d call support, from unseen forces. A small amount of dark energy, both visible and invisible, has made itself known as well. People of faith know these forces as angels (light) and demons (dark), and we can debate those concepts all day long. Suffice it to say, I have felt the protection and assistance of light energy. I have also met beings who seemed to appear out of nowhere and who have disappeared in the blink of an eye. These have been helpful beings in all but one instance. Who knows whether they are angels or are extraterrestrials? In any case, my life goes on and I feel safeguarded, even in situations that could have been far more precarious.

This is about the time when I look at Spring, Summer and Fall. Part of my Birth Chart review looked at transitions that will affect my life. Of course, there is also the 1-ton pachyderm of eastern Europe that affects everyone’s life. I am squarely on the side of what elevates human dignity and the well-being of citizens. My original plan for this year was for extensive travel. Thus far, the early Spring visits with family and friends in the Southeast U.S. are on track. June-July, in the Northwest U.S., Canada and back through the Northeast and Midwest, may be altered a bit by some Faith-based gatherings here, but is generally on track. It is October, involving Europe, that may end up Putinized and pulverized into either being severely altered to an Iceland and British Isles itinerary, or canceled altogether. No matter, the plans pale in comparison to the horrors now going on across the Atlantic and elsewhere. Each of us must do what is right, by the suffering.

My angels are ever-present, and respond best when I exercise common sense. We’ll see how the rest of the year goes, both at Home Base and on the road. Pray-and work- for peace, in any case, just because the poor souls in Ukraine, Yemen, Myanmar, DR Congo and in every drug-lord ruled community on the planet, deserve it.










Sweet

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Striving

March 2, 2022- A state legislator, censured for advocating executions of her political opponents, on a public gallows, fired back at those who voted for censure-saying they were picking on a “sweet grandma”.

To be sure, the First Amendment to the United States Constitution guarantees freedom of speech, even for those who say people of different ethnicities have horns and a tail, or words to that effect. Yet, there are laws that forbid making specific threats against the safety and well-being of other human beings-or hurting most animals, for that matter.

I am sure the legislator is sweet to her grandchildren, if not her children. Loving people who are one’s bloodline is well nigh universal, save for those who are deranged. That tells me the woman has some semblance of heart. Her comments, at a recent gathering of white supremacists, tell me that she has spent precious little time listening to those who offer views different from her own. They also give readers and listeners who disagree with those comments a sense that she herself may be a bit unhinged.

We have had a long, hard road together, vis-à-vis race relations, especially between Blacks and Whites, but also between Whites and First Nations people as well as between First Nations people and Blacks. Much of the discord involves failure to listen, to observe, to accept others for who they are. It’s true that there are people in each group who have taken advantage of their own, and who have ingratiated themselves with the dominant group. It is also true that there are people within the dominant group who have suffered at the hands of “their own kind”. This, however, does not take away from the aggregate of the dominant group, in a good many countries, having the responsibility for erecting a system that perpetuates their dominance, at the expense of those outside their circle.

Real sweetness does not hate.

What She Knew

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Posted by on in collaborating, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Striving

February 26, 2022- The forthright man told of his reaction when one of his children broke the news of gender reassignment. He also had the courage to walk alongside that child and grew in his understanding of what was behind the process. When that child’s life ended, father and child parted as friends. Most importantly, the adult child was friend to self.

When I was a child, I was far from athletic and presented a gentle disposition. That didn’t set all that well with some of the other boys in the neighbourhood, or with those in my paternal grandmother’s neighbourhood, when we visited over there, every other Sunday. In retrospect, the bullying wasn’t all that bad and I was rarely attacked physically. One thing I always knew, though, was that I was solely interested in girls, and never felt the secret urge to BE one.

Not everyone is clear, as to their gender, as their childhood and adolescence progress. The reasons for this range widely-possibly the effects of additives in foods, possibly chemical imbalances, possibly lack of either same sex or opposite sex role model. The causes are all speculative, but the result, for those who choose gender reassignment, is a physically and emotionally excruciating process-lasting several years and possibly the rest of the person’s life.

I have friends who are transgender. It is because of them that I have made my own transition, from glib detractor of those who chose gender reassignment to one who sees the background of the process more clearly. The person who makes such an irreversible choice does not lose humanity nor becomes less worthy of the love of friends and family. The person grows in need to be enveloped in love, much as does a woman who undergoes an abortion or someone who is suffering an addiction. No one has the right to discount another person’s pain.

The young adult mentioned above died while asleep, and was thankfully in a supportive living space. Suffering appeared to have come to an end. What she knew about herself was confirmed-and accepted by those around her, at long last.

I will forever be glad to be male and cisgender; (he/him). I extend the peace of identity to everyone.

Scorpions

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Posted by on in children, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Striving

February 16, 2022- Intellectuals love to savage children. It makes them feel oh, so clever-and relieves them of any accusation of being sentimental. Ignorant people love to address children by their surnames, as if they were adults. It makes them feel like they are readying the young ones for a hard world. The insecure, among the older generations love also the see no daylight between childhood and adulthood. It helps them to mask the pain of their own formative years. The greedy love to use children for their own ends-because nothing is more important than stroking their unbridled egos.

My prayers are with Kamila Valieva, that her native talent was disrupted, waylaid, and maybe destroyed, by the greedy among her own countrymen; that she is being held solely responsible for this, by some of her predecessors in the Olympic figure skating realm, whose jealousy is so ridiculously transparent-and justified, to the extent that it is possible to excuse their vitriol, only by the presence of dope in her system and that the cursory reading and viewing public will take the braying of the international sports media to heart-and vilify the girl, for the duplicity and treachery of her handlers. She could have done it all, without the drugs that society loves to hate, but no-once again, the elite show themselves as scorpions, eating their young.

May God bless and heal you, Kamila.

Smoothing Rough Edges

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Posted by on in collaborating, distraction issues, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Striving

February 13, 2022- The kitchen forgot my order, and was busily going about serving the rest of the patrons, when I went to the window and lodged my complaint. I don’t often do that, but there are limits. Having overdone it, timewise, last night, and facing a 10 a.m. Faith meeting, I had no other recourse, as we pay in advance at the Legion, and walking out was not seemly. My plate was brought, five minutes later, by a rather miffed server, but no matter. I thanked the server, and was told by the manager that my next breakfast would be on the house. Again, ordinarily, I would hold my tongue and wait, but not keeping other people waiting, on the other end, is still important.

As it happened, I had to wait a few extra minutes to be admitted to the meeting, for whatever reason (I doubt being two minutes late had much to do with it.) The meeting was detailed and productive, and I felt my grumpiness fading, early into the discussion. It was a good reminder that one always needs to smooth out the rough edges-even if dealing with a surly individual. The buck has to stop somewhere.

The rest of the day offered an opportunity to relax a bit, then spend an hour or so over coffee with my Hiking Buddy and her house guest from Massachusetts. They arrived a bit late, but I had recharged my well of patience and had an enjoyable visit, in a welcoming coffee house setting.

The next time I go to the jam session, I will stay overnight and tend to my meetings from my lodging. Rough edges don’t need sharpening.

What Makes Me Proud

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Posted by on in Education, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

February 8, 2022-

What makes me proud of the man I helped raise? His work ethic, independent frame of mind, commitment to the well-being of humanity, love for his wife and maintaining self-care. What makes me proud of the young people I help educate? Their day-to-day enthusiasm, even when it is a bit loud; concern for one another and for the adults who show them respect; open-mindedness, even towards those whose beliefs seem antiquated; dogged pursuit of truth; gradual and steady outreach to those who are marginalized. What makes me proud of my community? The commitment to virtuous behaviour, even when it flies in the face of demands made by those towards whom some feel obligated to show fealty; the standing up for what one believes, whilst for the most part letting opposite points of view be openly expressed; the commitment to open space and increasing willingness to conserve resources. What makes me proud to bear witness to my Faith? It is based on the oneness of humanity; owning up to, and working to shed, prejudices and other flaws; independent investigation of truth, not dependent on group pressure or self-aggrandizement; the equality of women to men.

I am proud to be part of a world where the best among us work to empower one another, to show respect, even to those who disrespect us.