The Road to Diamond, Day 183: Standing Tall

0

May 30, 2025- The smug administrator showed the two adolescent friends who was boss, by turning them against one another. This was one of the plot twists in a film “Out of My Mind”, a recent film that charts a few months in the life of a 12-year-old girl with cerebral palsy. Melody can not talk, but has a photographic memory. She is determined to succeed in school, despite the lowered expectations and “cringy” attitude of the adults in the school, which get transferred to most of the other students.

On a visit to a planetarium, with her parents and a few classmates, Melody gets bored and wanders into an auditorium, where Dr. Stephen Hawking is presenting, via video. Her father finds her, and notices Dr. Hawking’s Augmentative and Alternative Communication device. Her parents manage to obtain an AAC device, with help from Melody’s advocate at a nearby university. This leads to a chain of events that elevate Melody’s self-concept.

After a day of light activity, including attending the 50th anniversary of Prescott’s Central Library, I was moved to take my director’s chair over to the Community Film, an open-air event across the street. There, I was pleasantly surprised to see a former co-worker present a brief PSA featuring his younger sister, who has non-speaking autism and uses an AAC device. The above-mentioned film was then introduced,as the feature presentation. It was worth every minute, to see the love that the family, their next door neighbour, Melody’s advocate and, eventually, several of her peers, had for this extraordinary child.

Although Melody is wheelchair-bound, she stands taller than her detractors-a fact of life for all too many who “fall outside the box”, and end up shoved aside by those who can’t think outside their boxes. She alludes to this, in a final monologue to her teacher and classmates. Having been through a milder version of this in my younger days, I see the value of the long game, as well as knowing when to stand one’s ground. The latter presents itself more often than some may think.

Melody is a genuine hero.

The Road to Diamond, Day 182: Heaviness

0

May 29, 2025- It was hard, somehow, to maintain focus during a meeting I attended this morning and through the noon hour. It wasn’t the fault of the presenter, or of the subject matter. The air was cool, so it was not that, either. There was just a heaviness today, that stayed with me, requiring a more concerted effort to get what I needed from the Red Cross training session-for which I was an assistant commentator, to boot. It lingered, even as I purchased a dinner item from a nearby pizzeria, for evening consumption, and as I later exercised on a recumbent bike at Planet Fitness. It wasn’t a physical issue-my blood pressure read normal and I was breathing easily. There had to be some deeper cause.

In this late hour, I am reminded that today would have been the 61st birthday of my late youngest brother, Brian, who died in 1994, just shy of his 30th. He would have been proud of my service to the community, albeit at a very rudimentary level, as his disabilities made communication difficult. Nonetheless, there was a very basic love about the child, and later, the man. It was in our interactions with him that each of his four siblings developed a compassion for those less fortunate. That has informed our social and community behaviours, as much as any experiences we each have had over six or seven decades.

Those who have left us will communicate in various ways. I think now that the spirit of my baby brother was reminding me that sometimes, life takes a gargantuan effort, just to get through an ordinary day. The heaviness lifted, as I sat and read some pages of a book on the ancient Mediterranean world. Brian liked to pretend to read aloud. He would surely have approved.

The Road to Diamond, Day 181: Bright and Shiny Surprises

0

May 28, 2025- I had not been to Olde World Bakery, at the edge of downtown, in over a year. Seeing that there was a new sign, Gypsy’s Bakery, I decided to have a late lunch there. It looked like little had changed, in the food department, and my favourite spinach and cheese croissant was still there. The servers, though, particularly Ana, were effervescent and kindly attentive. There was less of the “serve yourself” format of the previous management, and more of a connection with the patrons. The Gen Z greeting “Welcome in” was in full swing. The new owner, who took over last year, greeted three of us who came in at the same time, then went back to her baking duties. Ana brought everything to each table, checking back with everyone to make sure we were satisfied with the fare. Another bright and shiny surprise was the menu of cold beverages, delicious fruit and tea blends that promise relief, on many a hot summer afternoon.

The energy of youth is always a delight, when put to either the betterment of society or the mirthful relief of tense or harshly oppressive situations. There is always an undertone of “Who am I, in the scheme of things?”, but that is just part of establishing emergence from the chrysalis of adolescence. Gen Alpha uses terms like “Rizz” (charisma) and “Aura Farming” to refer to one’s level of interpersonal skills. Previous generations have used “cool”, “groovy”, “tight” and “heavy” to indicate a person’s level of social acceptability. While the social dictionary of those who are aware keeps growing, the essential search for meaning in life remains the same.

After visiting a fellow Legionnaire in a rehab facility, I headed over to a friend’s house to pick up an order of sunscreen. As she guided me around the grounds of her forever home, I marveled at the sheer volume of work and organizing that she has done, virtually alone, over the past two years. There is much that remains, and I can help with some of this, yet her sense of purpose has undergone an immense boost, with the solo effort. There is relatively scant difference between what a man can accomplish and what a woman can do, using the same skills. Yes, we are “built differently”, in some respects; yet I see only finesse and strength in what any person who sets the mind to doing something actually achieves.

The year is a month shy of being half over. I am inclined to envision more bright and shiny surprises-not from those in power, but from those who are empowered, at the ground level.

The Road to Diamond, Day 179: The Last Full Measure

2

May 26, 2025- As close to 150 people listened, Dale Enlow, a member of the Sons of Union Veterans of the Civil War, recited President Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address, in the latter half of yesterday’s Memorial Day commemoration at Prescott National Cemetery. With his recognition of the ultimate sacrifice paid by those who fought on behalf of the unity of our nation, Mr. Lincoln also called upon those present, and those of us yet to be born, to give our all towards both preserving, and extending, the concept of freedom: “It is rather
for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these honored
dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of
devotion—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this
nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.”

There will always be differing views of what freedom means, who gets to enjoy it-even as to who deserves it. These can stem from one’s view of what is sacred, of just how much a person ought to share with others, even from one’s view of what constitutes humanity.

Yet, the arc of history, overall, bends towards a more inclusive society. However much it may move forward in fits and starts; however often a temporary backtracking or retrenchment may result in a loss of human rights, often out of fear that one’s position in the world will become lost, if others are given an equal share; however widespread that fear becomes the basis for a communal or national decision-making, the human race is destined to evolve towards an inclusivity borne of the maturity of the species.

That principle explains the eventual victory of each and every movement towards national freedom, since 1781; of each civil rights movement, across the globe, since 1921; of each cautionary tale that has come from revanchism, since the European royalists of the mid-19th Century were removed from power. We have yet to achieve a balance between individual initiative and group-focused identity, and thus will continue to witness a battle of wills between progressives and conservatives. The preservation of the work ethic, however, does not depend on playing a zero sum game of exclusion. Likewise, the expansion of opportunity to the marginalized does not require a reinvention of the wheel. As a wise speaker noted, at last week’s seminar on psychological well-being, everyone-whether right or left, is looking towards safety and security.

Our last full measure of devotion surely takes in the well-being of everyone in our midst.

The Road to Diamond, Day 178: “Like Everybody Else”

0

May 25, 2025- As I explained that, unless there is a lot of background noise, I can hear people speaking in a normal tone of voice quite well, one of the others at breakfast objected: “Why do you not have hearing aids, like everybody else here?” While I could use a wax cleaning, the fact remains that I don’t have a sustained hearing loss, as yet.

There have been frequent times in my life, when well-intentioned people have urged: “Fit in!” I have, as the years have gone by, pretty much struck a balance between those aspects of conformity that have made sense to me and following my own path. Doing things a certain way, simply because that is what “everybody else” is doing, does not inherently make sense. First of all, no one knows “everybody else”. Each of us knows only a small segment of a given community, and can only claim to have a cursory knowledge of what the rest are doing. Secondly, we know even less of what others do, behind closed doors and drawn shades.

I have basically chosen the road map offered by my parents and other trusted elders, in charting my course and passing along guidance to my son-and the grandchild(ren), when they come. He, and they, in turn, will use their own judgment in adapting to changing circumstances. Conformity only makes sense, when circumstances are the same -as in “driving on the right hand side of the road (except when in countries where it is customary to drive on the left), showing courtesy to those one meets, or bathing/grooming each day,for the sake of health.

So much has changed, though, in my seventy four years, to say nothing of son’s nearly 37 years-or the short lives of my grand nephews and nieces. There are bound to be further changes, and even some of those will be temporary. It is the basics, those behaviours based on love, that will endure and be the foundation for a useful conformity. For those, we can hopefully count on “everybody else”.

The Road to Diamond, Day 177: The Thick and Thin of It

0

May 24, 2025- At Bellemont Baha’i School today:

In the midst of a pile of pine needles, my co-worker found a bright, shining earring. It seems to me that one of the campers last year did lose one, so that is probably the beginning of its reunion with its owner.

At lunchtime, part of the conversation was relative to the thinness and thickness of various piles that were raked up and ready for bagging. By 3:30, virtually all the piles were bagged and ready for next week’s removal to a dump site. Fourteen of us produced 85 bags of needles. That is no “thin” effort!

The connection between our little group and the growing Bellemont forest community is also getting thicker. Our closest neighbour, an ordained minister, has taken it upon himself to provide security for the camp, when no one is around. He also did an extraordinary amount of clean-up work-and over the past thee days. He will finish up the rest tomorrow. A good part of this is because he feels the spiritual energy of the camp.

Commitments can be thick or thin. I have, in the least popular of my posts, addressed the matter of home bases. My commitments to places in general, however, matter less than those I have to people in my life. There ought be no one “thrown under the bus”, as it were. So, while the “thickest” of my commitments are to my Faith, little family, beloved (who is halfway around the world), and community of residence, appeals for help from someone elsewhere also matter. My only caveat is that I have enough time and energy to meet that appeal.

That brings me to a broader place, with regard to commitments: My own are based on helping meet the actual needs of my loved ones, and not in feathering my own nest. Those in government, and elsewhere in public life, be they Right, Left or in the Center, whose every-other decision is based on self-enrichment are going to be found out, if that hasn’t happened already. Those whose public service is genuinely focused on the common good, be they Right, Left or in the Center, deserve our gratitude and support.

Be discerning, with regard to commitments, whether your own or those others have made to you.

The Road to Diamond, Day 175: Connecting, Havening, but No Othering

0

May 22, 2025- The road to resiliency is whatever length one makes it. Such was the first message at this afternoon’s COPE (Connection/Compassion,Optimism, Perspective, Emotional Intelligence) seminar, at Granite Mountain Unitarian/Universalist Church.

Connection and compassion are illustrated by acts of support, structural language (terms of endearment and understanding) and meaningful/joyful experiences. Public gatherings can be the forefront of the latter, but it is small, intimate encounters that make up the bulk of these. Consistency in supportive language is crucial-from affirmations of affection to words of gratitude. The facilitators, a married couple, offered their ingrained habit of thanking one another continuously-avoiding any tendency to take one another for granted. Finally, “me” is consistently replaced by “we”.

Optimism is signaled by confidence that comes from having met past challenges and a sense that we are building upon those successes. These can be small or great achievements. Self-regulation (breathing, healthy diet, regular exercise, proper rest) is a basic indicator of optimism. So are the practices of incorporating uplifting experiences,a positive forward outlook and a basic trust in a Higher Power. Havening is the process of self-soothing. Besides deep breathing, placing one’s right hand over the heart and left hand on the solar plexus is an example of havening, Another example is slowly passing one hand over the other.

Unity of internal and external perspectives is beneficial. The understanding that everything is temporary, whether positive or negative, encourages savouring the moment, an ethic of carpe diem, accepting that a painful day is no more permanent than a pleasurable one. One may choose to view a challenge as a portal, or see it as a hole. A broad perspective will let one view everything as sacred-whether it be a blessing or a hard lesson.

Emotional intelligence is marked by recognizing, naming and managing own emotions and recognizing those of others. Using emotional intelligence to address three basic human needs (Safety, satisfaction and connection) entails recognition that there is, in reality, no “others” but that we are all extensions of one another, in that regard. The “other side”, of conventional political and social mythology, has the same basic needs as those with whom one more comfortably associates. The key to social cohesion, then, starts with assisting one another, in getting those needs met.

The “rugged individualism” of the libertarian or conservative can meet the needs of some, while the “social contract” of the progressive or liberal can address the needs of a wider segment of society. The key to both lies in avoiding dogmatic adherence to one set of principles or methods of achievement.

In a time of uncertainty and challenge, resiliency is what will guarantee that our communities, and their members, survive and thrive anew.

The Road to Diamond, Day 174: Heaviness

0

May 21, 2025- One by one, the four people with whom I met on a Zoom call, this afternoon, described the heaviness of their situations. Much had to do with the circumstances of their domiciles. Some concerned the presence of unruly or insensitive people in their lives.

I have had my share of heaviness, in the past. The 2000s and the first year or so, of the 2010s, were full of lead balloons. It prepared me to be here for other people’s heaviness, just as those who suffered in the Twentieth Century were able to help me get through the intensity and loss of my own time of travail.

The message I was able to offer, after hearing my friends describe their traumas, was one of hope. Much has gone on in this life, and still more is coming to pass, as this seminal year progresses. After I described the past two months since I last met with these friends, and mused about what the rest of 2025 might bring, the friends’ spirits were lifted, and they began to make plans of their own.

Therein lies the main value in sharing positive experiences. Those listening are given to inspiration, so long as there is no hook to their misery. The people on this call are not inclined to enjoy suffering. Neither are the Red Cross colleagues with whom I met earlier in the day, nor my fellow members of the Spiritual Assembly of the Baha’is of Prescott, who I joined for an online meeting tonight. Certainly, my beloved friend whose birthday was today is no wet blanket, either.

As it happened, today also saw a new set of window blinds installed, to take the place of those that gave me fits last night and Sportage got a wash, a thorough vacuuming and full maintenance, after seeing me safely to the East Coast and back.

Even momentary darkness is followed by light.

The Road to Diamond, Day 173: Home Lands

0

May 20, 2025- Coming down the mountain from Strawberry Junction to Camp Verde, my main concern was putting my energy into the safety of the large load of logs being hauled in front of me, and staying in the slow line, regardless of my wanting to get back to Prescott. The truck was fine, even when an antsy driver behind us pulled his pick-up and drove around the line, crossing double yellow lines, when he spotted a minute or two. There is one in every crowd.

I arrived back at Home Base I around 3 p.m., picked up my mail and sorted out the junk from magazines and legitimate bills that still come through snail mail. The VA stuff is always among the latter. I also had to deal with a broken blind mount, for which duct-taping the blinds to the side window will allow privacy for a day or so, until I can get a new set of mounts. (I rarely have opened said blinds, in eleven years, so it must have been one of the workmen who are installing my apartment’s AC unit, who messed with the blinds.)

Home Base I is only one of my Home Lands, as readers have no doubt figured out, over the years. It is where those who believe in me the most happen to be, and I would say that this confidence in my skill sets comes from my having engaged in community activities here. My little family and others would feel the same, if I were to spend more time with them. For now, though, I am grateful for what time I do have in Home Bases II (Grapevine), III (North Shore), IV (Southeast Pennsylvania) and V( Makati). I know some of you will say “What about our area?” I appreciate all the love I get from friends, wherever I go.

What makes a place home, though, is not the mutual love and support that I get, as well as give. It is a deeper feeling, that is often hard to put into words. There is likely to be a time, in the not-too-distant future, when the Home Bases will get shifted around a bit. One scenario has me living closer to my son and daughter-in-law. Another has me in Metro Manila, or a place fairly close to it. Those situations will work themselves out, with Divine Energy in play, much as so many issues and problems have gotten resolved, especially since 2014.

For now, though, I need to give my trusty steed a wash, interior cleaning and routine maintenance, before week’s end. Tomorrow is my dearest’s birthday. I am glad to have been able to get gift and proper greetings sent. The Baha’i Spiritual Assembly and Red Cross need some time tomorrow, as well. So, too, does Bellemont, on Saturday, for a fire wise clean-up. There will be time to relax and ruminate on Sunday and Monday, being Memorial Day weekend.

The Road to Diamond, Day 171: Breathing Deeply

0

May 18, 2025, Grapevine, TX- Being a sultry day here, our family hike around Coppell’s Wagon Wheel Park was fairly short, but gave a good look at the copses of trees and tall grass prairie that define north Texas. Like any other ecosystem, this has its place in the overall realm of nature. So, we walked along various trails for about an hour. At one point, there was a sketch showing the wingspans of various area birds. The longest was the span of a great blue heron-7 feet. We each stretched our arms out and found 6 feet (Aram and me) and 5 feet (Yunhee).

Coppell Nature Center
Aram and Yunhee under a forest canopy.

The names of the trails are certainly fetching, and family-friendly. The park is also close to Home Base II, so my future visits here will feature walks in Coppell Nature Center, lying within Wagon Wheel.

Of course, no visit here is complete without a full complement of Korean cuisine. So, Yunhee prefaced this hike with a delicious lunch of Mandu-gook (Dumpling soup). Last night, we went to a fine eatery called Ham Ji Bak, in nearby Carrollton. Here is the scene, just before we started “tucking in”.

Jeonyok
Our dinner spread at Ham Ji Bak

This afternoon, we changed course and went to Old Town Lewisville, northeast of Grapevine, and enjoyed an hour or so at Perc Coffee House. It’s always good to get acquainted with spots that offer a relaxing vibe. Lewisville is a bit of a drive, but it’ll be worth further explorations. Besides coming from me, “a bit of a drive” must sound a bit hollow!

Tomorrow, I will head west again. Sportage is wanting another service, but I think she and I will make the rest of the way to Prescott and a Wednesday visit to the dealership will be soon enough. In any event, I will stick to main roads, the rest of the way. This has been another good visit.