No Backward Pivot

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March 8, 2024- My mother was a stay-at-home housewife, who also had a marketable skill: Hairdresser/cosmetologist. Our kitchen was her workspace, and I was honoured to make runs on a bus, to downtown Lynn, MA, from our home in Saugus, to purchase items that she needed for her trade. She is well-read, well-spoken and has kept up with current events, even in her 90s. Mother is nobody’s fool, and the four of us, her adult children, are all the better for it.

Today is International Women’s Day. Besides the maudlin truth that I would not be here today, were it not for a woman, it stands that I would not have had any kind of a life worth living, were it not for the life lessons imparted by Mom, by the six women who taught in our Elementary School, by several of the teachers in Junior High and High School (most notably Mrs. Katherine Vande and Miss Gladys Fox) and the devotion of my late wife, Penny. I would not be living as full a life as I have now, without the friendship of at least two dozen women, including someone I adore the most., but ALL of whom I love dearly.

There are those, both male and female, who harbor a thinly-veiled desire to put women “back in their place”, harkening back to the time when Mick Jagger could sing an abysmal tune, like “Under My Thumb”, or John Lennon croon a wretched song like “Little Girl”, and get away with it, even making a fair amount of money in the process. Maybe they want to go even further back, to the time when women were legally their husband’s, or father’s, chattel.

The genie cannot be put back in the bottle. It is ironic that many of the women who spout “traditonalist” views are self-made professionals, who have even told me that they are perfectly fine without a male mate in their lives. In that last pronouncement, they are right, in my humble opinion. Going back to the time when I was first contemplating proposing marriage to Penny, I weighed, very carefully, just how much I would add to the already distinguished and successful life she had made for herself. I am glad to have fully supported her further achievements, of two more Master’s Degrees and the implementation of three innovative programs, in schools where she subsequently worked. The woman was a genius. She was a fine wife and mother, but she would never thrived in a stay-at-home role.

In the Baha’i writings, it is stated that, given a choice of only educating one of two children, a son or a daughter, it is preferable to send the daughter to school, as the first teacher of a child is the mother. Cases in point: It was my mother who taught me to read, and to write in cursive letters. She was professional and exacting, and the lessons stuck. It was Penny who taught our son, Aram, to read, and to be careful in researching various aspects of life, before making a decision. Every one of the mothers among my female friends has had an outsized influence on the achievements of those of their children who have reached adulthood. That includes my sister, who has raised four strong and successful professionals.

The clock cannot be turned back. Thank God.

All Sacred, Holy

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March 7, 2024- The veteran teacher was barely able to stand up, at day’s end, admitting that she was completely exhausted-and would take her time driving home this afternoon. I was able to help with a few of the remaining tasks this afternoon, during her meeting elsewhere, and the children were both helpful and well-mannered. My tie with teacher and students is sacred.

This evening, the President of the United States delivered an address that was, by turns, feisty, celebratory, and accusatory. A senator, from the opposing party, gave a response that was measured, questioning and accusatory in kind. Both recognize that their relative positions are somewhat rooted in fact, but missed the recognition that their opposite’s positions are also, to some extent, rooted in fact. The truth is bigger than the sum of its parts. Confusion comes from ambition, from the stance that only oneself can resolve the issues facing our time. Confusion comes from a totalitarian mindset. Both liberalism and conservatism are necessary. Each has a piece of the truth, and that piece is sacred. The truth is bigger than the sum of its parts. The truth cannot be fabricated, or deep-faked. It will come out, regardless. Truth is sacred.

While all that was going on, a few friends and I were in devotions, and were talking of communications with the next world. When I was at Penny’s grave site, on Tuesday, I noticed an inscription that had not been there, previously. It was not in any script that I recognize, and I know of the essential forms of Arabic, Hebrew, Mandarin, Korean, Japanese, Burmese, Thai and Cyrillic scripts, as well as the Phoenician/Roman alphabet. It was not in any of those, and I got a message that this was a sign of her spiritual progress. One of the more “practical” friends in the group said it was probably just gang graffiti. Not everything that happens in this life, however, has a quotidian cause. All communication that comes from the heart, or from spirit, is holy.

I have, as has been said often, a large number of friends, across the continent and across the planet. All of these relationships are sacred, as all life is sacred, holy. This is true, from the moment of conception, though we must somehow ascertain exactly when conception takes place. This is true through infancy and childhood, even when those stages are difficult. It is true throughout adolescence and adulthood, and into the senior years. It is true, whether a person presents self as a liberal, conservative, moderate; as Christian, Muslim, Jew, Hindu, Buddhist, agnostic, atheist or Baha’i; is male, female or uncertain as to sex. All people, indeed all living beings, are, at their core, sacred, holy.

It behooves those, who are quick to cast aspersions on others, to remember that. Yes, I include myself in that admonition.

Further Reflections On The Graveside Vigil

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March 6, 2024- The dream sequence found Penny and me in an Italian restaurant, in a very different community. The proprietor took my debit card, and a couple of other cards, which were beige. He asked me if we wanted dessert, which was answered in the negative. He ran all three cards, then came back and sternly said that the two beige cards could not be used, as I had the wrong citizenship. He seemed hesitant to use the debit card, and we were at a standstill. Then I awoke, and realized there was no such conflict.

I felt a heaviness, as the message came to get up and start the day. Not really being fully in the moment, I nonetheless got up and went about grooming and dressing for the work day. It was a very good day, with a fair amount accomplished, working with individual students and one group. After work and a chiropractic adjustment, messages began to come to me, relative to yesterday’s visit to the Arizona Memorial Cemetery.

Questions were the format by which these messages were introduced. The answers, at least for now, came to me almost instantaneously.

“Why are some presences in my life stronger, more meaningful than others? Are some more loved than the rest?” It is beyond a simple matter of ‘some are friends, while others are mere acquaintances’. “Such reasoning is a dodge. Everyone whom one encounters is worthy of being viewed as a friend, although some make it difficult. Those closest, and most beloved, are in some instances present in one’s life for a long time, in some cases for a lifetime. In other cases, they appear late in one’s life, yet are no less treasured. Some are with a soul every day; others only fleetingly, and in other cases, may only be encountered once or twice.”

“Why am I feeling a drag on my energy, as if there is a darkness about? ” I had not felt this, in other graveside visits. “There is a residue of guilt. Also, it would have been preferable for you to make a brief visit here, then to have engaged in an act of service-even to have worked a half day. It is not necessary to make a visit to this place, as your primary act for these anniversaries.”

With these reflections, I go forward and know that there will be further questions and answers, as this year of rapid fire change and the overcoming of conundrums, along with artfully managing synchronicity- Many people tap into the prevailing energy of a given date and time, to schedule events at the same time as others, even knowing that the same people will be drawn to both events. Splitting one’s time between competing events isn’t just for Christmas Eve and New Year’s, anymore.

Cycles of Thirteen

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March 5, 2024- I sat at Penny’s gravesite, early this afternoon, reciting a special Tablet written by Baha’u’llah, and several other prayers that I customarily say each day. The place was quiet and the air calm, with only a few other people around, either paying their respects or working.

She was in declining health, and I was her mainstay, for thirteen years (1998-2011), from her first head trauma to the day of her passing. It has now been thirteen years since she went to the afterlife, which Baha’is know as the Abha Realm (Abha means Heaven, or Most Glorious). In that time, I have shed much lack of confidence, honed social skills-some of them the hard way and become more patient with myself. None of that would have been possible, I believe, without the support of my strongest spirit guide. What gave her fits, in this life, has largely been overcome by her patient admonitions and way-showing.

The next thirteen years, if indeed such a cycle has started to succeed the last two, will likely find me even farther afield than the one just ended. I will possibly be occupied with remaining international journeys, may be building another relationship-or both. Regardless of the substance of this life, I know it will have the support of the soul with whom I became a strong Baha’i and raised a fine young man to adulthood. Any and all bumps along the way were just part of the growth process.

May her soul ever shine its light on any dark path I encounter.

Redemption

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March 2, 2024- I watched the film, Dune, Part 2, this evening. The plot is basically a “He who has the gold, rules” type of tale. Without giving away anything else, it is also a tale of several people who have various chances to choose redemption or condemnation. Each of us must make that choice, sometimes on a daily basis.

Three different types of people caught my attention today. The first, indicative of most people in my life circle, is a solid friend, who was just glad to see me, after two weeks. The second, drawn to me on occasion, is a self-absorbed soul, who sees self as a perpetual victim. (I have no resources to bail out a hand that is always outstretched, but that’s a whole other matter.) The third is an opportunist, who waited until I was off tending to a task, and grabbed a drink that I’d purchased and set down. Thankfully, this one is a fleeting presence in my life, and I know what not to do next time.

I have been the first two types, at one point or another in my seven decades and two years on this plane. I was effectively dissuaded, by my father, from being the third type, more than once. I stopped being the second type, mainly because it was isolating and self-defeating, as the present self-defeating people are finding out. It has been, and is, redemptive to be the first type. Those who love freely and pull their own weight tend to be happy, and self-fulfilled. We are not smug, and when difficulty strikes, we work through it. Those who have known me for a long time, or at least since the 2000s, know that the life I lead now has not always been the case.

I choose a path that is redemptive, not because other people dear to me demand it, but because it just feels better. The approval of family and friends is a bonus.

The Lion Roars Elsewhere

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March 1, 2024- The sweet older lady carried her box filled with Bell jars out of the small health food convenience market, as I held the door. A few minutes later, as I approached the register with my small purchase, she burst back through the door, still holding her box of jars. As I hung back from the register, the lady told the cashier about her morning. She had encountered a couple, in her gated community, who were going about the neighbourhood, visiting shut-ins and offering Holy Communion wafers to them. When she encountered the couple again, at a local fast food restaurant, she bought them lunch. That was a story worth waiting for!

The old saw states: “March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb.” Lamb-like weather is here for a few days, whilst in the Panhandle region of north Texas and northwest Oklahoma, a furious spate of wildfires, tempered briefly by a wimpy snow squall, has sundered about five communities, leaving wreckage reminiscent of Paradise, CA and Lahaina, HI in their wake. Whether we look at this still extant destruction and blame climate change or over-development- or a mix of the two, the scenes are heartbreaking. No amount of blame can restore what has been lost. Only resolve, and united action, can bring about recovery.

The same is true, for entirely different reasons, as a lion of a different sort roars in Gaza. No matter one’s politics, or religious persuasion, the slaughter of innocents arising from the wanton disregard, by two armies, for human life cannot pass without condemnation. Both armies should stand down-and let both Jewish and Arab people find a common path to resilience. At this point, it doesn’t matter who started it. No community on Earth deserves to be destroyed by the rapacity of others.

This evening, I made my way down to Raven Cafe, for another great performance by local favourites, Scandalous Hands. There was no room to sit, initially, yet as luck would have it, a couple vacated their table, just as I was getting a cup of coffee from the self-service urn. I moved towards the table and spotted another couple who seemed to want to sit. We agreed to share the table, and it turned out they were first time visitors to Prescott. I would have gladly shared the table, anyway, but first impressions matter. They greatly enjoyed Scandalous’ music, and even got up to dance a few times. I gave them a few pointers for activities and music venues, over the next two days they are here, and some other information about the Southwest, as this is their first time in the region.

March is off to a benign start here, though it would only take an errant spark and a gust of wind, to turn the tables. My prayers and positive thoughts, for Texas, Oklahoma, Gaza and so many other places which don’t have the calmness, the serenity or even the festive mood that Prescott enjoys, as March begins.

Leaping Upward

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February 29, 2024- There were several kids who either said they wished I were around more often or greeted me with a solid dap handshake (fingers clasped, followed by a fist bump), making this Leap Day a fulfilling one. It was incomplete, as I stumbled on a bullying victim-whose case was made to the regular staff-so hopefully there will be some resolution.

The work of anyone who is involved in social justice is getting more intense and variegated, by the day. Someone mentioned, this evening, that she was trying to figure a way to make a better world, but without being drawn into the turmoil that seems to confuse humanity. I do not see any way that can happen. Turmoil will find us, and the principles that guide a decent soul’s life will help that person to offer solutions to the presently incomprehensible issues of environmental, physiological, social and spiritual degradation that hit us from all sides.

Those who hold on to memories of a simpler time seem to think that a strong, almost dictatorial, government, rooted in the evolved religious philosophy that was prevalent in the 1950s and early ’60s, will bring about a calming of the current apparent chaos.

Conversely, there are those who see a rigid, unyielding forced march towards unbridled acceptance of even the most deviant behaviour, victims be damned and a total casting off of logic and of even human biology itself, as an extension of the reasonable treatment of those who are victims of chemically-induced hormonal imbalance. The same people give off an air of rejecting anyone, past or present, who was, or is, not letter perfect.

Neither group will bring human society where it needs to go, because inherent in each of their arguments is a false elitism, rooted in fear of the “Other”. The lesson of every experience that I’ve had this week is that there is no solution, or even a viable trade-off, without involving all sides, in the discussion, and being, as Jesus the Christ said, “alert, to discern” the roots of a holistic peace. There is strength in some time-honoured practices and there is merit in changing the way we do other things. Only giving “the Other” a bona fide hearing, with both ears open and an engaged mind, can help in sifting the psycho-social wheat, from its chaff.

It is time for us to leap upward, together.

Rising Tides

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February 20, 2024, San Diego- The small group of European youths spoke of their concern for their countries, should certain political and military forces hold sway. I stayed out of the conversation, and an older man in the group urged them to not jump to conclusions. Nonetheless, a rising tide of personal ambition and disdain for the changes that society is undergoing is having a disconcerting effect on a good many, in the generations of young adults. There is a renewed commitment to freedom of choice and group cohesion, across the range of political opinion, among a good many in the two emerging generations of young adults. From what I’ve seen, the Alpha Generation, those born since 2010, is showing the same collaborative spirit.

There was another sort of rising tide, at Ocean Beach and at Mission Bay, throughout the day. The oceanic tide kept coming in, from early this morning, until about 4 p.m., with roiling waves propelled by the storm that dumped about an inch of rain on OB. Here are a few scenes of both morning and afternoon.

Ocean Beach Pier, at 9 a.m.
Ocean Beach, at 9 a.m.
Dog Beach, 3:30 p.m.
Dog Beach, at 3:40 p.m.
Egrets and ducks were unperturbed.

My energy tide was raised by a message, from someone I love dearly, as I woke up. It was capped by the news that my little family has successfully relocated to an apartment they like better, this evening. In between, I managed a two-mile walk, to Mission Bay and back to Rainbow House, cooked up some lobster ravioli and hosted a Zoom call, one of two meetings that punctuate this visit.

The rain has stopped and the oceanic tide, at least, has ebbed. It will be interesting to see how these other tides rise and fall.

The Beads

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February 13, 2024-Laissez les bin temps rouler”. The good times are no doubt rolling, in New Orleans, in Mobile and way down south, in places like Rio de Janeiro and Port of Spain. In the Big Easy, there’s a lot of tossing beads at those lining the parade route, but that’s just the throwaway part, and there are those whose first concern is the content of the stringed glossies.

I have been on the periphery of Mardi Gras, twice. The first time, the bus I was riding rolled into NOLA, early on the morning of Ash Wednesday, 1987. Piles of stringed beads, leftover jambalaya and crawfish pila were all over downtown, but I was told the French Quarter was already clean as a hound’s entire mouth-never mind a single tooth. The second time was on the little sister of Mardi: Lundi Gras, in 2015, as good an excuse as any to extend les bon temps to four days. Things were already red hot in the French Quarter and a woman tossed a string of beads to me, from one of those balconies that could easily have featured a t-shirted Marlon Brando calling for Stella, at the top of his lungs. I think I made do with a large slice of pizza for lunch, and had my jambalaya later, in the evening, at a nice spot in Lake Charles.

Getting back to the beads, I gave mine to a granddaughter of the heart, that summer. Now we hear that the beads themselves may contain varying amounts of lead. By now, she has probably long since tossed the cheapo stringed glossies. What appeals to a four-year-old is an eye roller, when she reaches the age of twelve. Needless to say, if I have it to do over again, I’d graciously accept the beads, and find that algae pond that an intrepid high school freshman in, I believe, Missouri, said he’s using to break down the lead-infused beads.

My Mardi Gras today consisted of a spirit walk, checking out the end of downtown Prescott’s easternmost north-south street. Cortez Street goes up a short hill, and ends as a cul-de-sac, where there is an apartment complex. Things didn’t get much more rapid fire after that- A Mexican chocolate latte, a walk past the Granite Creek mural (will video that rather charming masterpiece, on Thursday) and a workout at Planet Fitness, rounded out the good times. My Mardi Gras meal was four small Buffalo Chicken empanadas. The times, though, are good enough. I learned a lot, this evening, from a community activist’s presentation on urban gardening. There is much good afoot, in Columbus, OH.

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. It is also the beginning of Lent, for Christians. I guess that means I should not eat chocolates, when walking by a church that’s letting out. Since Mom taught us not to eat while walking outside, I’m good. Valentine’s Day, this year, feels different. More on that, tomorrow. For now, here’s Ric Ocasek, with another take on Les Bon Temps.

The Long Game

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February 11, 2024- As Super Bowl LVIII went into overtime, thanks to the teams being evenly matched, and both having very accurate Kickers, the notion of Long Games came to mind. The Chiefs eventually won by three points, but it could have gone either way.

That’s how it is with Long Games, of various kinds. The experienced player, or team, sometimes wins, by dint of a superior use of skills. Other times, the victory goes to the upstart, fresh and hungry, poking holes in the Old Pro’s defense and guarding own position. 

What is seldom, if ever, true in sports is the notion that the Big Dog is just handed a victory, because that’s the way the world works. This also applies to business and to a good many other human endeavours. Political affairs, unfortunately, may be different, but that’s a matter for another time.

For now, I want to look at my own long games. One is Plan A; the other, Plan B. The first depends on how things play out with someone for whom I care deeply-and the jury is out on how that will go. I am not going to impose myself on anyone, ever. She does, however, keep in regular contact, so the long-distance period of our friendship is holding nicely.

 The second, as always, will find me turning to my spirit guides, dusting myself off, and proceeding on my own, with both service around Home Base and time on the road. I feel that a lot of good has come from that game plan, especially over the past seven years. It would be nice, though, if the two of us did some version of this, together.

The Long Game requires patience, resolve in the face of setbacks, and being able to turn on a dime, so to speak. In yesterday’s post, I mentioned being summoned awake, at 4:44 a.m. I was reminded, by another friend, that 444 is a numerological indicator that a person is being prepared to face a greater challenge, rising to a higher level. There is no immediate indication of such a thing in my life, but who knows? Frequently, calm (like what is happening right now in my life) precedes a storm. Besides, I have already shown, time and again, that I can handle whatever life throws at me. No matter who walks away or closes a door, I’m still here, and there will be other doors to open.,