The Road to 65, Mile 229: “Looking for Alaska”

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on July 17, 2015 in Literary criticism, Personal goals, Social

July 15, 2015, Prescott- Summer is road time, and also, reading time. Heck, all time is reading time, for me. Maybe that’s why so many of my friends tend to be women. We share a love of reading, and thought, and caring.

Alaska Young was a fictional character, yet larger than life. John Green presented her as a blend of every schoolboy’s dream, every teacher’s model student and a nightmare in her own mind. What a mind, though! In a literary-real world mashup, I’d have taken a very quick liking to Ms. Alaska. The wit, the razor-sharp intellect and the take-no-prisoners swagger, blended so deeply with her self-doubt, her vulnerability- which no male classmate saw, made for one of the most searing characters I have ever encountered.

A real life friend remarked this evening that men and women are tasked with trying to understand one another, precisely because we are fundamentally different. Yes, men and women; young and old; wealthy and impoverished; landed and homeless; across “racial” and ethnic lines; differences of sexual orientation; differences of temperament; differences of opinion- all such barriers must be crossed. Spaceship Earth is a Mashup of universal proportions.

Yet, Alaska Young, seen first by her boy peers as a gorgeous creature, was a toweringly complex being. So it is with each of us. A thoughtless man, just a bit more than a year ago, called me a woman-hater, for having used the word “beautiful” too many times, with reference to women. Beauty is far beyond physical, though. Without a shining, searing spirit, bursting from the eyes, the most appealing of symmetric features lose their allure, in a flash. Alaska Young’s deeper appeal was her Force of Nature aura. This was a woman who did not miss a trick, and but for her angst, her guilt, she would have conquered the world.

Each of us is given the goods, and the burden. Shall we not use the former, to cast off the latter?

The Road to 65, Mile 226: The Measure of A Man

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on July 14, 2015 in Personal goals, Social

July 12, 2015, Prescott- I went to the high-end downtown shoe store, yesterday, to be properly fitted for a more stylish pair of black shoes, which will stand me in good stead in the workplace, this coming academic year.

I learned that my feet were different sizes, and that the size I had been buying for the past twenty years, no longer fit. I have experienced late-onset foot expansion (my term), with the left foot being larger than the right, to boot (no pun intended). So, I settled on a size 10 1/2 pair, and will replace the smaller pairs, one at a time, until my shoes are in compliance with Foot Reality. This, of course, means that my sneakers will be larger, by week’s end.

It got me to thinking: How do I measure, in other ways.

Health-wise, my teeth, which could be replaced by a full set, are stable, and I won’t worry about the full set unless it becomes a deal-breaker, in an otherwise budding relationship.

That brings me to the notion of relationships. We’ve discussed this here before, and almost ad nauseam. I am in a good place, right now, and have several fine friendships with women, based on mutual respect and regard for each other’s well-being, just as my friendships with men, or with children, happen to be. None of us sees any reason for that to change, and several of the several are in good marriages, or other committed relationships. Those who aren’t, are happy being where they are.

I am honest, by nature, and almost to a fault. This sometimes causes problems with people who communicate with circumlocution, or roundabout speech, subtle hints, etc. I never was very good at that, even when an offended party screams at me or slams the door, as has happened a few times. I have to be true to my own soul, though I do make an effort to be gentle about it.

Work-wise, I finish what I start. So, once this academic year gets on, I will be very conscious of doing all that’s needed to ensure the success of any students with whom I happen to work. A commentator on another post suggested “take the money and don’t concern yourself too much with the outcome.” That may be the person’s way of “avoiding burnout”, but to me, it is a recipe for crashing.

I will continue to measure myself, in various ways, knowing that the path should always be, as Jack Kornfield wrote, “with heart”.

The Road to 65, Mile 224: Light of the World

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on July 11, 2015 in Personal goals, Social

July 10, 2015, Prescott- Today, we Baha’is observed the 165th anniversary of the Martyrdom of al-Bab. On July 10, 1850, the Persian government, at the behest of powerful clerics, conducted the execution of Siyyid Ali-Muhammad, given the title al-Bab “The Gate”, in Arabic.

Briefly, He was Forerunner to Baha’u’llah, the Founder of our Faith. Al-Bab challenged the orthodoxy of Islam, noting how far it had strayed from the Teachings of Muhammad. He called for the purification of the human heart, as an essential prerequisite to the dawning of an Age, in which the human race would become unified, and would enjoy the Kingdom of God on Earth, as promised by Jesus the Christ.

This won Him the allegiance of thousands of Persians and Arabs, and the admiring notice of many Europeans. It also won Him the enmity of those whose vested interests were threatened by such a call to change.

The execution did not proceed without a hitch. Al-Bab warned his captors that He would not depart this life until He had completed certain matters, with his secretary. They took Him out to the killing plaza, anyway, and He was joined by a young man, who insisted he be allowed to die, alongside al-Bab. The firing squad commander, who was Christian, pleaded with al-Bab that he not be forced to complete the execution.

Al-Bab responded, “Follow your instructions, and if your intention be sincere, the Almighty is surely able to relieve you from your perplexity.” Thus did it transpire, that the volleys were fired, and when the smoke had cleared, al-Bab and his devotee were found, not dead on the ground, but alive, and with al-Bab in a room with His secretary, completing His business!

Once this was finished, al-Bab and the young follower submitted to again being escorted to the execution zone. This time, a Muslim commander ordered his regiment to carry out the volley. The bodies of the al-Bab and His devotee were fused together, with only their heads untouched by the bullets.

With the complicity of the prison yard’s guards, some other followers of al-Bab spirited the remains out of the area. These were carried, from place to place, in secrecy, for 59 years, until ‘Abdu’l-Baha, the eldest son of Baha’u’llah, placed them in a vault, in a crypt on the slopes of Mount Carmel, near Haifa, in what is now Israel, in 1909. The remains so rest, today, in the magnificent structure, known as the Shrine of Al-Bab, or “The Bab”, as He is called, in English.

I view this series of events as further evidence of the re-appearance of Divine Light in the world, just as it appeared at the time of Christ, before that, in the times of Moses, Krishna and Buddha, and after that, in the days when Muhmmad walked the Earth. That mankind chose half-measures, in embracing the Teachings of these Sacred Beings, does not take away from the efficacy of those Truths. God is nothing if not patient, though. He certainly has been so with me, and is no less so with the human race as whole.

The Road to 65, Mile 221: Being A Father

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on July 8, 2015 in Personal goals, Social

July 7, 2015, Prescott- One of the main reasons I am juxtaposing my travel posts with my thoughts whilst here at home is that, without family and community, there is only the mindless wandering of the unruddered soul.

Twenty-seven years ago today, Penny felt it was time to get to hospital. In the South Korea of 1988, every encounter between Korean workers and foreign nationals was first an economic one, then a human encounter. The woman who had been midwifing our child decided, on that day, that we were not helping her enough with her advancing in learning the English language. She declined to help Penny any further, and called a taxi driver to take us to an English-speaking Obstetrician, who would see to the birth.

Her parents were with us, but could not fit into the taxi, so I quickly hailed another for them, jumped into our taxi, and away we went, with the second taxi following us as best he could. My father-in-law’s frantic words, “Baby Hospital”, were apparently enough, as they arrived three minutes behind us.

The procedure went very well, and I was holding our newborn son up to the light, welcoming him to this world, three hours later. It was, all in all, a good life in Korea, and when we were compelled to return to the U.S., four years later, Aram was fairly well-grounded in two cultures. America was a bit tougher for all of us, but he grew up strong, and through the trials that buffeted the three of us in the 2000’s, and eventually took his mother’s life, our son emerged as a strong, healthy and amazingly resourceful individual.

Sometimes, I felt as though he was raising himself, but there was never a time, and never has been, when I haven’t had his best interests front and center. That I learned of those interests mainly by talking things through with him is the only way that ever made sense to me. Kids need steady guidance, but they have more on the ball than many of their insecure elders seem to realize.

The most inane aphorism ever is “Children should be seen and not heard.” I heard my son being told that, by a family member once, and I had to be physically restrained from hitting the individual. We need, pure and simple, to listen to one another, across generations.

Fatherhood is my greatest blessing, right after having been a husband. It will always be so.

The Road to 65, Mile 220: Cross-Bullying

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on July 8, 2015 in Personal goals, Social

July 6, 2015, Prescott- I read this morning about the “rising phenomenon” of children bullying their parents. Then, a short time later, a friend wrote me a message that her parent was referring to her in the most vulgar of terms.

This goes back to how I was raised, and how we tried to raise our son. No two people always get along, and the permutations of social discourse get more complicated with three, four, or ten, in the mix. The bottom line, though, is respect, Golden Rule, “how does the shoe feel on your foot?”

It’s a given that children regard having limits set as part of their safety net. Limit-free kids are scared, more often than not, and fearful people strike out. We raised our son with what common sense we could muster, encouraging his curiosity and exploration, and discouraging any tendency to view, and treat, us as eyeball-to-eyeball peers.

I would not have my wife be subjected to abuse, nor she, me. Son is a fine human being, and I don’t think he would be comfortable with being able to give too free vent to negative attitudes. In fact, he has said that, all in all, we set reasonable limits. Likewise, we did not ridicule or catcall at him, something that I have seen far too many people my age do with their children, in the name of “honesty” or “free speech.”

Millennials speak of “adulting”. I love that generation dearly, and certainly expect that acting one’s age will be de rigeur for them, as it should be for us, and for “Generation X”. Perhaps the term is natural, though, as we witness so many, from ages 21- 90, indulging in unseemly public behaviour, again in the name of “self-expression” or “my rights”. For the adult in the room to have plenty of company is a fine thing, and since it happens more often than the media would have us believe, it should be contagious.

My feeling is that, if children see adults being adults, consistently, and if they feel well- and fairly-attended, which means having limits set for them, then there will be less bullying, in either direction.

The Road to 65, Mile 219: Sizzling

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on July 7, 2015 in Personal goals, Social

July 5, 2015, Prescott- I have it in my mind to return to Europe, at some point, probably some time in the second half of 2020, or later, as part of a 1-2 year sojourn, just because I feel I must earn back the money I spent on the trips taken, over these past three or four years. It’ll all boil down to what seemingly needs to be done, at the time.

That’s all pie in the sky, right now. I think of it, mainly because the news tells us that it is hotter in Madrid than it is in Dubai, or New Delhi. Budapest and Zurich are warmer than Istanbul. The sizzle factor is making things seem topsy-turvy, but don’t say this too loudly, lest someone think we have gone full-on Liberal.

I have to say this, just once: Name-calling has not, and will not, bring the temperatures back into what we regard as normal range. If that is even an option, we need to look at everyone’s habits. What can each of us do, and what is each of us willing to do, to bring the overall climate into a comfortable range? The areas of focus would include: Diet, daily cleansing and grooming, animal husbandry and crop rotation, forestry, fishing and manufacturing practices- especially production of technological products. Ever stop and think about how your smart phone components’ manufacture might relate to the raising of the atmosphere’s temperature? Didn’t think so.

Each of us has the role to play. Me? I drive with the windows down, when alone. With others in the car, AC is usually a must, but that is most often for short distances. Showers? Have to say, I keep them to 5 or 6 minutes, and there is no “eeeww” factor, of which I am aware. I drink small smoothies, when possible, though I don’t really go in for the idea that smoothies use more water than hamburgers, from start to finish.

These are just things to consider, next time your town hits an uncomfortable heat level.

The Road to 65, Mile 218: Independence

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on July 6, 2015 in Personal goals, Social

July 4, 2015, Prescott- It is a strange twist of fate that, on this 239th anniversary of the issuance of the Declaration of Independence, many Americans’ minds, and those of others around the world, are on Athens, the Birthplace of Democracy and now a seeming hotbed of rebellion against a global system that emphasizes money and profit as indicators of responsible behaviour.

There are several schools of thought about this global system. Many here in the United States are convinced that it is the work of a tightly-knit group of families, whose specific identities are unknown and are called, collectively, Illuminati. Dozens of TV series,and a few movies, have featured this entity, in various configurations, as their Archvillain. Christians immediately identify it as serving the Antichrist, or maybe being It.

I only know that such a controlling presence, if real, would only suffocate and oppress the human spirit. Working for wages has never been liberating, and only adopting an ethic of work as an act of worship, of service to humanity, has given most of us any kind of fulfillment. My best years of working were when I was a school counselor, followed, oddly enough, by my years as a substitute teacher. Most prospective employers who’ve looked at my resume have shaken their heads at this, and the selection process has ended for me, then and there.

Work, though, has to be an act of service, because our humanity is what we take with us, and besides, acts of service, in the long run, are what make us independent. Money can be taken from a person, by the government, by creditors, and, in the form of lost investments, by a collapsing economy in a place far away. One’s accomplishments and relationships, however, can never be taken away.

I thought about all this tonight, as my good friend was driving us back from viewing the fireworks at Pioneer Park, on the northwest corner of town. Her concerns are with an imposed world government, and contrived financial collapse. These things are possible, but study of the teachings of various faiths and some secular philosophies tells us that they are not the End Game. Each of us has individual DNA and each of us has a distinct soul. We are, by nature, independent and will only successfully act in a collective manner, if our acts of service lead to a collective consciousness.

As I saw the other night, on “The Celestine Prophecies”, that consciousness, and not an externally-imposed mindset or false world order, represents the next step in the evolution of the human spirit. This is chosen by each of us, in healthy independence.

The Road to 65, Mile 217: More Than

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on July 5, 2015 in Personal goals, Social

July 3, 2015- I encountered two online posts by women, today. One was a TED Talk, by a fashion model. The other was a blog post by a young friend, part of her ongoing exploration of who, and what, she is.

We thrive on the superficial, many of us, because it seems easier. Men ogle attractive females, from girls not even old enough to drive a car, or hold down a job to those women deemed by society to have “preserved well with age.” Women have their share of “Magic Mike” and Chippendales moments. There is not much difference, in such as we do in that regard, from a trip to the zoo. Now, to fend off any troll who may be sharpening his rhetorical knife as he reads this- Yes, I have had my share of such superficiality.

It’s time to move up the evolutionary scale, a few notches, however. I was married to a physically lovely woman, with a winsome personality, who was also several points higher than I, in terms of intelligence. Since she passed on, my friendships with women have been varied. In each case, I have learned to place their sense of self-worth, first and foremost. I was not a perfect husband, but Penny taught me that much about friendship across the much vaunted Gender Divide. We were best friends, as well as spouses. Anticipation of the other’s needs is part of it, and direct communication, another.

Of the utmost importance, though, as the young model and my blogging friend both attest, is that there is always more, far more, to any given human being, than the pretty face, lithe figure and statuesque bearing that seem to mean so much, to so many in society. I thought of this, constantly, during a recent visit to Spokane. As I walked from my motel to downtown, I passed a billboard featuring the singer/actress Taylor Swift. The ad stressed her features, and makeup. My immediate thought was “There is so much more to you than this, precious soul.”

Those dismissed as “eye candy” may buy into that shallow assessment. The human spirit, however, is a hard taskmaster. A pigeonholed person will act in restless fashion, and will either: Seek attention in unhealthy ways; will meekly submit and then fade into obscurity, as the feckless lose interest; or will, as the late, and estimable, Hedy Lamarr did, combine a healthy respect for her natural beauty with a vigourous pursuit of her intellectual skills. The same is true for men, though on a lesser scale.

The closest of my friends, both female and male, are those with whom I can carry on meaningful conversation, can engage in interesting activities or just sit in one another’s presence, each doing what is foremost in their personal realm. The key is mutual regard, a belief in the ability of the friend to reach whatever heights one’s soul seeks and a willingness to let go of limiting personal agendas. There are those in my life, conversely, who are often calculating what I might do FOR them. They see little of me. I have enough to do, to pay back those who have shown me great kindness, but that’s a topic for another post.

To each, falls the task of scaling one’s own mountain, and triumphantly setting foot on one’s own moon.