Category Archives: Personal goals

The Road to 65, Mile 20: Now, Then

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Posted by on in Hiking and Nature, Personal goals, Social, Travel

December 18, 2014, Prescott-   I found out, early this morning, that someone had pushed the wrong button, in the course of my last financial transaction.  The deposit which should have been posted yesterday, never made it.  This will slightly alter my spiritual journey to western New Mexico, which I had planned on starting Friday night.  No matter, I will get a good night’s sleep here, and most likely be able to set out on Saturday morning.

Zuni, where Penny and I first met, in December, 1980, is first on my itinerary. El Morro National Monument, near there, is next, and I will head, in succession, to Bosque del Apache National Wildlife Refuge, where we went crane watching, Gila Cliff Dwellings National Monument and Silver City, which we wanted to visit, but never did, Cochise Stronghold (one of my favourite meditation spots), and Tucson, where a few friends await.

Christmas weekend will find me at the Grand Canyon Baha’i Conference, where I have spent each of the past twenty-two years, save 1997.  It is a good place for spiritual regeneration, and coming on the heals of my time in the forests of western New Mexico and the serene desert near Vail and Avra Valley, it represents a double dose.  Of course, the crowds at GCBC are large, but I draw energy from the youth, and regard many of them as friends.  I have watched so many grow up from infancy, in the time I’ve been back in Arizona.  Now, they are taking on the world, on their own terms.

I sat down this morning with several of the Red Cross Disaster Response Team members, with whom I would be working, if chosen for the position mentioned earlier.  There is a plethora of detail to be worked out, each time a disaster happens.  Good thing there is no ‘I’ in team.  I have had a lot of practice, these past two years, both here and in Europe, in being an effective member of a team handling somewhat chaotic emergencies.  There is a reason for everything.

This evening gave me an hour’s worth of study on Essential Oils, vis-a-vis women’s health issues.  It is also going to come in handy, and this area was not something with which I had much familiarity, until now. That goes to show, in this day and age, an old dog had best learn new tricks, and skills, without hesitation.

The Road to 65, Mile 19: Green Chili and Coconut-Fennel Cookies

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December 17, 2014, Phoenix-  I could not really explain to the befuddled police officer why I slightly strayed over the broken lane line, on one of Prescott’s main streets, this morning.  I certainly wasn’t DWI- haven’t had a drink in 33 years, and I’m not on any meds.  I was feeling a bit woozy, though, so his pulling me over, mostly, it seemed, out of boredom, was a good thing.  I didn’t get anything more than a verbal caution, which nonetheless forced me to refocus on the here and now.

I bought the cookie sheet I needed, went home and baked 1 1/2 dozen cookies, made with spelt flour, aluminum-free baking powder, a cage-free egg, fractionated coconut oil,shredded coconut, coconut sugar (unrefined), fennel and lemon oil.  The process of finding the cookie sheet, police encounter included, took one hour.  The mixing of ingredients and baking of the cookies took 25 minutes.

I took the goodies down to a Red Cross luncheon in Phoenix.  It was a well-catered, Mexican food affair, to which the HR director and I were the last to arrive.  No matter; I missed the enchiladas, but had a good plateful of everything else.  I also got to watch the latter part of a white-elephant gift exchange, always good for a few laughs.  Once all was done, I offered my cookies to the group, as they headed back to their desks.  Each one who took a bite said the cookie was fabulous.  Mission achieved!

After ascertaining from the HR Director that nothing more would be done, vis-a-vis the position for which I’m applying, until after New Year’s, I gassed up and headed back to Prescott.  This is the way of it:  The tasks which I undertake might involve driving 100 miles, for thirty minutes worth of , or they might mean walking five minutes, and spending five hours at a small desk.

I’ve drawn the conclusion that it is all a matter of focusing on the what, the why and the who.  The how usually makes itself known, in process.  There is nothing too small or mundane, too grand or exotic.  There is no one too obscure, or overarching, in importance.  There is nothing too simple, or complex, in rationale.  All tasks end up equal in importance, in the end, as all tie together to make this series of events we call a life.

I will, no doubt, make more cookies, before the week is out. There is another gathering on Friday evening, and before that, a friend or two to visit here in town.  Each one counts as much as the other, differing only in the intensity, and nature, of our relationship.  That’s how it is with a widower:  Those who fill the world, after one’s beloved departs for a purely spiritual presence, are loved strictly for their inherent humanity.  Ulterior motives serve no good purpose, and I have thus discarded them.  In the ensuing bliss, green chili is as good as its red cousin and cookies flavoured with essential oils are a joyful contribution.

The Road to 65, Mile 17: The Office Party

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Posted by on in Personal goals, Social

December 15, 2014, Prescott-  Yesterday evening, I attended a Red Cross office Christmas Party, at the lovely home of one of the lead volunteers.  It was about seven miles out in the country, and the home was both modern and cozy.  I haven’t attended very many office gatherings, over the years, but I have embarrassed myself only once, back in the drinking-problem days, when I was first in Graduate School.  Since then, it’s been a nice learning curve of honour and respect.

We had a nice assortment of foods, and I brought my bubbly cranberry (non-alcoholic).  The two dogs present kept us on our toes, vis-a-vis placement of food.  Several photos were taken, and I was not in any of them- being just happy to converse with several people, on a variety of topics.  The party game was “Janga”, of which I opted out, being of not the greatest fine-motor coordination.  I am applying for a position within our office, so hopefully  my not playing won’t prove to be this year’s equivalent of “You didn’t drink the boss’s brand of beer.”

This brings me to the position.  I have looked over the specs for this job, and I have a vision for it, which I will lay out, first on the application, and later, with my wider audience.  One of my siblings once upbraided me for rarely delivering on my promises, in the work world.  He was largely correct, but I did, in the 1990’s, implement and administer a Comprehensive, Competency-based Guidance program.  Sure, it was part of a national trend, yet the teachers and I made it work, tailored to our school’s local conditions. I can do that again. Being much better at playing well with others than I used to be, is a big deal.

The new position would revamp my plans for the next six years or so.  I would free-lance travel a lot less, but the stability would make my eventual journeys a whole lot more comfortable, when they happen.  I would definitely be out and about, a lot, though, in my territory of northwestern Arizona.  A good life involves a series of adjustments, and many of those are self-determined.

The Road to 65, Mile 15: Validation and Respect

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December 13, 2014, Prescott- I watch my favourite television shows on my laptop, a day after they are aired on TV.   This evening, I  watched a segment of “Blue Bloods”, in which one of the issues was respect between a husband and wife.  Validation of  a woman’s goals and aspirations was a matter of  personal growth for men of my father’s generation.  My mother did that for which she was trained, hairdressing and cosmetology, working out of her kitchen, as part of putting food on the table.  Dad respected that choice, and valued her efforts.

It was a no-brainer for me, that Penny would work at what she loved best, and at what she excelled.  We worked a few times in the same schools, and her efforts often exceeded my own.  I learned to be sensitive, to avoid small acts or statements which could be misconstrued as disrespect for her work, or for her thoughts, goals, dreams.  There is a lot of subliminal sensitivity among Baby Boomers, stemming from our place as a transitional generation, one of whose tasks was to establish a true equality between genders.

Society is not there yet.  Women, by and large, do get validated, in terms of their aspirations- up to a point.  There remains the Glass Ceiling.  There still exists the disparity in salaries, between genders.  Both genders, to a large extent, regard rape as a victim-initiated crime- even, among some on the far right, a contrived crime, either instigated by the woman, or made up by her-for various reasons.

To be sure, there are those who use rape as a cudgel.  Such women, though, are a very small percentage of the total post-pubescent female populace.  Their acts should neither define public policy nor be the determinant of society’s attitude towards the vast majority of victims of sexual assault- female or male.

As an educator, as an uncle and as a friend, I regard the aspirations, the efforts and the boundless intellectual and ergonomic gifts of women and men on an equal level.  As a fellow human, I regard a person’s body, space and well-being as inviolable.  Each of us has had to struggle with emotional and spiritual baggage.  I have disposed of much of my own, especially in the past dozen years.  I have imparted to our son, the imperative of being at eye level with any woman he wishes to bring into his life.

Being in the world, living a complete life, means extending that right to all others.  Slowly, and steadily, the human race will realize that gender equality brooks no leeway.

The Road to 65, Mile 13: Indianola/Sandy Hook

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December 11, 2014, Prescott-   When I was eleven, the Scoutmaster of my Boy Scout troop, with my Dad’s blessing, took me to a firearms safety class, at the Essex County Chapter of the National Rifle Association.  There, I learned how to properly load, aim and fire a deer rifle, and how to clean it.  This lesson would be repeated, seven years later, in Army Basic Training- only with an M-16.

I was brought up to respect weapons,of all kinds.  In turn, I imparted this respect to my son, when it came time for him to purchase a handgun.  He practiced and mastered firearms care and safety at a shooting range in the Phoenix area.  He has since acquired further such training, with the Navy.

My late wife, also, was an expert rifleman.  Her father was a lifelong member of the NRA.  So, the Second Amendment to the United States Constitution is very dear to my family’s hearts.  None of us would want to see it breached, or compromised.

There is something else none of us like seeing compromised:  The life of a child.  Whether through orphanhood, maiming or flat-out murder, the effect of unregulated weapon use by unstable people, by the criminally insane, by the vengeful affects the life of a child.  It is a stain on the Second Amendment.

I do not believe that the Sandy Hook shootings were orchestrated by a shadowy branch of the Federal government, or by the FBI.  Saying such things is a dodge, as if the lives of 26 innocent people never mattered, much.  Therein lies the insanity, the illness behind self-serving callousness,  with which, by the way, the surviving families of those 26, including the children, were confronted, almost from the moment of their loved ones’ slayings.  Here’s why I don’t believe it:  Acts of terror involving firearms almost always are perpetrated by loners, by those who detest authority.  Adam Lanza fit that description to a tee.  So, too, did Daniel Nadler, who killed a classmate, in cold blood, in Indianola, Iowa, in June, 2010.  The same is true of so many others, similarly charged and so often convicted, of ending the lives of innocents who crossed their paths.

We can do better, but first, we must want to.   We must want to have firearms available only to those of sound mind.  We must want to keep the weapons we may need for self-defense, out of the reach of the immature and the unstable.  We must want to have a social contract which guarantees that firearms are being afforded the respect and careful use due them, in each and every household in which they are present.

It’s hard work, but this is America.  Time to roll up our sleeves.

The Road to 65, Mile 12: The Age of Unreason

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December 10, 2014, Prescott- It seems so much these days is decided by emotion, accompanied by sloppy fact-checking, and the need more and more people seem to have, for external verification.  These processes don’t bring communities and nations together, and never will.

I have lived a fairly solitary life, for the past 3 1/2 years.  My family members all have full cups and don’t need anyone else’s concerns to address, no matter how great or small those are.  It’s for that reason that I have learned to rely on my own resources, and it’s why I am leaning more and more towards taking the bull by the horns, with regard to a full-time disaster prevention and relief position, in mid-February next year.

I have friends at all points on the political spectrum,  while maintaining my own sense of right and wrong.  My Dad was a social and fiscal conservative.  My mother is a social liberal, who nonetheless ran a tight ship, based on us taking responsibility.  So, I was compelled to listen to both points of view, growing up, and have the bounty of seeing many shades of opinion today.

I will not, though, go along with anyone who advocates oppression or harm to an innocent person, or group.  There are those who derive their power and satisfaction, from dividing people and groups.  We see this in everything from the camera hogs and pundits who are first on the scene of an episode of unrest, to the Deep Pockets who fund entities which seek to keep information from the people-at-large.

My parents liked and respected Martin Luther King, Jr, the Kennedy brothers, Cesar Chavez and even Malcolm X, after his return from Hajj.  My latter-day heroes are mostly international figures:   The late Nelson Mandela, Aung-san Suu Kyi,  Malala Yousafzai and the new President of Indonesia:  Joko Widodo.  Those who can see beyond the current atmosphere of “dodge and cast blame” are the figures who will lead us through the darksome night.

The Road to 65, Mile 11: Getting Organized

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Posted by on in Personal goals

December 9, 2014, Prescott- This date used to be one of the last serious work days, before things got TOTALLY CHRISTMAS.  That was when I was young and naive.  As a Baha’i, I still get into the spirit of the season, though.  My family and Christian friends, and their joys, still matter greatly.  So, I still send greeting cards, some with gift cards inserted.  I enjoy the holiday sounds and feel the magic of the day itself, knowing that it has Wiccan roots, which themselves celebrate bounty and blessings.  It is as good a time as any to honour Christ, and all He has brought to the world.

All the Messengers of God have brought the rudiments of organized worship to Their followers, and have left it to those followers to carry on the Mission of the Faith, through organizations which meet their needs.  That many have gone overboard, or astray, in the fullness of time, does not make the need for humans to be organized any less urgent.

In my own life, the difficulties I’ve had in accomplishment and in delivery of my promises, have all arisen from lack of organization.  My recent entry into the world of wellness advocacy has made getting more organized, on a daily basis, and according to the type of day ahead of me (Working, Non-working but in-town, On the road), much more imperative.  So, that was today’s main focus, along with updating my generic resume.

I also spent some time with a colleague, discussing a possible re-entry into the work force, in mid-February, after I return from visiting family and friends in the South.  This would radically alter my daily life, so it is not being considered capriciously.  Details will be shared at the proper time. Whatever transpires, I will remain in disciplined organization mode, from one day to the next.

The Road to 65, Mile 10: Teamwork

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December 8, 2014, Prescott- This morning, I  covered a choral classroom.  This frog didn’t croak, but a group of sixth graders practiced their songs and watched a segment of “Mary Poppins”.  Then, a single guitar student, in a class of six, showed up for class and I learned his classmates were testing in another part of the school.  So, he practiced his chords and watched part of “August Rush”.  The Advanced Choir came in next, and led by two classmates, the group practiced a choreographic piece, based on “Here Comes Santa Claus”.

The mostly female ensemble struggled with their own need to catch up with their friends, after the weekend, and the uncertainty that so often accompanies adolescents trying to learn a new skill, while being thoroughly convinced that “all eyes are on MEEE”.  They worked hard, very hard, to make it perfect- apologizing to me, and to each other, when they felt it wasn’t.  In the end, their teamwork made the difference.

I thought they did a fabulous job, with the various new steps, and that they listened.  Confidence is so sorely lacking in teens, despite their reputation for swagger and bravado.  Maybe that’s why I can’t think of any other line of work that I’d rather do full-time.  Teaching, safeguarding and advocating for children and teens is, and will remain, my most urgent concern- whether it is skill-building, working to free captives and slaves, or just plain listening and encouraging.

Watching the kids engaged in teamwork set my week on a beautiful path.

The Road to 65, Mile 8: Leaves In The Wind

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December 6, 2014, Scottsdale-  This day was the 34th anniversary of Penny and I having met, in Zuni, NM.  Since her passing, 3 1/2 years ago, I have found myself spending this day doing something or another that celebrates our Faith.  This year, December 6 was the day chosen by the Baha’is of Scottsdale, and the United Nations Association of Arizona, to observe Human Rights Day, which actually falls on December 10.  Several speakers addressed key issues pertaining to human rights:  Immigration, Native American affairs, the persecution of Baha’is in Iran, and the ongoing state of affairs between Blacks and Whites in our country.  A longtime educator, who is Baha’i, made the case for Universal Compulsory Education as the overall impetus for solutions to these, and other issues, being generated.  A member of the audience made a passionate plea for communities to address human trafficking.

As this last is a huge concern of mine, especially as it pertains to children and teens,  I spent several minutes during the social portion of the gathering, hearing this lady out on the matter.  Like her, I see both official sanctioning of human trafficking (albeit in a surreptitious manner) and the tendency we have towards viewing strangers, or those from outside the immediate circle of friends, as those better left in anonymity, as contributing factors to how easy it is for trafficking and slavery to persist in today’s world.

I will be glad to have a kindred spirit in my corner, in taking on these evils.  For too long, our society, and the human race as a whole, have regarded those outside one’s social circle as leaves in the wind.  I saw some of that in evidence among those in attendance at last night’s gathering, which underscored my earnest and hard-working colleague’s point:  Without us, who will bring in the light?

The Road to 65, Mile 7: Peace Flows Outward

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December 5, 2014, Prescott-  I’m a bit late with this one, but yesterday was full, and exhausting.  I actually slept until 8, this morning.

Anyway, after getting my car’s tires rotated and balanced, Friday morning, I headed to work, on a half-day assignment.  It was an afternoon with two sections of kindergarten:  30 five-year-olds.  There was little core academics, it being Friday afternoon, and all, but teaching social skills is still a large part of Kinder.   The big item of the day was cleaning up, after thirty minutes of play with manipulatives.  I basically had two rules for that playtime:  Share items and space; No running around in the classroom.  At clean-up time,  I called “High Five” and held up my hand.  There was complete silence, so I simply said, “See this mess; clean it up”.  Within five minutes, all items had been put away and the room was spotless.  Yes, there were thirty five-year-olds, and 16 of them were boys.  We will be in good hands, when I reach my nineties.

There are two ways of handling groups, as I noted yesterday.  Inner peace, reflected from the person facilitating a group, is essential. It touches all, even the most troubled and self-loathing person in the group.  Of course, such a person needs extra assistance and attention, and may need to be removed from the group, in extreme cases.  That was not necessary yesterday.

In the evening, there were two gatherings:  A Christmas dinner, in business attire, and a drum circle, to which I went, in my vest, shirt and tie.  The Christmas dinner found me listening, with rapt attention, to a person slightly older than I, who has led an amazing life- from studying Psychology,under the late Gen. Norman Schwartzkopf, when he was an Army captain and teaching at USC, to leading Search and Rescue teams in the high desert and Rocky Mountains, alike.  The peace that comes from a wealth of experiences is indeed exemplary. The Drum Circle, held monthly, is always a soothing and centering occasion.

So, December, a rather expensive month, financially, is also a time of rich and peace-imparting events.  I will discuss another of these in the very next post.