Smelling The Roses

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on November 24, 2019 in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Striving

November 24, 2019-

For the longest time, I went through life being purposeful, and regarding taking time with non-essentials as a waste of time. Even time in nature had to be for the purpose of reaching a goal.

Penny got me to slow down, just a bit, and to not look at life as just a thing to be accomplished. Since I wasn’t really all that ambitious, in the conventional sense, learning to relax and not be time-driven was actually refreshing.

Jordan Peterson’s twelfth rule for life is “If You See A Cat on The Road, Pet It.”. Although many of the cats I’ve encountered in life are hardly willing to be petted, the sentiment is a charming one.

Being semi-retired, I now take more time for the gentle pleasures of life. Most of the people in my life understand this, and many say it’s high time. I have encountered a few who take umbrage at my pastimes, and their words sometimes trigger memories of my past. This leads me to lash out, as I did in the earlier version of this post. Time away, reading “Abby Wize”, brought me back down to the level at which I am in a better frame of mind. Nobody likes being triggered, yet I need to keep above it.

That is the thing. I have worked hard, at a number of endeavours, both professionally and socially. I have earned a measure of taking time to smell the roses. Lest anyone think I was playing the victim card earlier- think again. Lest anyone think I am dodging social responsibility, think twice. I continue to be very much involved in community activities. That, to me, is part of taking time for what is beautiful in life. Towards that end, I enjoy walking in our lovely town, spending much time in leisurely walks through nature. I will continue to enjoy time with non-judgmental people. I will pet animals, especially dogs, which enjoy that kind of attention. As you may have guessed, I will also continue to travel widely, especially towards the late spring and summer months of next year. As Dr. Peterson says, taking time for what is meaningful is what keeps us in good health, and even helps the sick to recover.

This concludes my first set of commentaries on the Twelve Rules for Life.

Both Halves of the Whole Are Necessary

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on November 23, 2019 in children, Community, distraction issues, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Striving

November 23, 2019-

The practice of chivalry has long taken a bad rap. For this, I blame the degeneration of the once noble art into infantilization, then misogyny. What was a system for honouring all that women did for the good of the world, became a means to dominance.

As the old saw goes, “When the worm turns, we all turn.” It’s been masculinity’s time to take some hits, in the name of a level playing field. The point of overkill appears to have been reached, about ten years ago.

Both genders can claim a plethora of contributions to the well-being and advancement of society, and of civilization. There are men and women of distinction, in just about every field of endeavour that comes to mind. Due to a long-standing system of such things as the disparity in salary between men and women, for the same work and the false equivalence, “whataboutism”, that gets raised, every time lingering issues of misogyny are raised, the temptation to take even more away from men is understandable.

Gender, itself, owing to both the frequent imbalance of gender-determining hormones, in all too many people, has been under a degree of attack. This is not the fault of anyone who has a greater degree of testosterone compared to estrogen, or vice versa. There are likely a good many causes of the imbalance, from genetic modification of food and drink to pollutants in the air and water.

However, I digress. The fact that I was born male, am very happy to remain male and am physically attracted only to women does not need to be renegotiated. I can be, and am, friends with a fair number of gay men and transgender people. That, and the fact that I once cried easily, has never had anything to do with my gender identity.

Jordan Peterson’s eleventh rule for life is, essentially, “don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.” The legitimate achievements of men, those on which a man did NOT piggy-back on the work of a woman, need not be minimized. (There are certainly plenty of the piggy-backed cases.)

Indeed, there is often a tendency for people to not know where to stop, when correcting a past wrong. The misunderstood term, microaggression,, has been offered as a reason for excess revisionism in history and for an overage of caution in determining a proper course of action. Microaggression is essentially between individuals, and is best sorted out, at that level.

Dr. Peterson carries this to the achievements of Western European/North American society. Certainly, there is much about the “Western civilization” to admire, which is a large part of why it has been so universally emulated. There is also much that needs correction, and some of the answers to our issues may be found in examining other societies.

In essence, then, no community can long exist, successfully, without equal contributions by BOTH women and men. In addition, no society can thrive on one set of social practices alone.

Each One, Let The Other One Live

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on November 22, 2019 in collaborating, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving

November 22, 2019-

I am reading the updated version of a young adult novel, “Abbie Wize: AWAKE”. It is the story of a misunderstood, isolated and battered young girl, who experiences a unique spiritual awakening. Her main nemesis is her own mother, who appears at this point in the novel as a brutal and controlling menace.

Jordan Peterson’s Rule 10 is ” Don’t Knock A Teenager Off A Skateboard”. Basically, our task as members of society is to not be so up in other people’s business, that we quash their legitimate joys, experiences and efforts. This is even true, to an extent, of parents, so long as a child is not harming self or others.

I tend to concur with that sentiment. My own parents were not brutes and I can count on one hand the number of times I was physically chastised, as a child and teen. I was not too different, as a father, in that respect.

As adults, many tend to think it is within their boundaries to prescribe to others, exactly how they should be handling their business. There is a story about an old man, a young boy and a donkey. As they went on their journey to a town that was ten kilometers away, the old man walked, while the boy rode the donkey. Some objected, saying the robust boy should let his elder ride. They switched places and kept going. Others appeared, berating the old man for making such a small child walk. The boy joined the old man, riding the donkey. Animal rights activists chided the pair, for putting the poor donkey under such a strain. The man and boy decided the activists were right, and began carrying the donkey! A group of rowdy men gathered, and began mocking the two, for being so stupid as to carry an animal. The old man and the boy decided to take turns riding the donkey, and so they went the rest of the way in peace.

Dr. Peterson’s point here is not that we should be apathetic towards our fellows, but that we should adopt a posture of seeing each other as they see themselves, and taking steps to encourage right behaviour-rather than aiming our arrows solely at what is being done wrong.

This, combined with his earlier point about listening to one’s critics, calls for a balance in our interactions with one another. I have learned to measure my criticism carefully, as well as to sift my own naysayers’ words, with a view towards continuous self-improvement.

Workaday Hollywood, and The Slog

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on November 19, 2019 in collaborating, Community, impediments, Personal Values, Social, Travel

November 12, 2019, Indio-

Among my circle of family and friends, a half dozen or so live in and work around Hollywood, with a view towards making it in the film industry. I have a sense that each of them will make their mark; some being steady and modest successes and others rising to considerable fame. This is a harsh environment, both in terms of the level of competition and in the amount of stress that striving to entertain others produces. Then, there is all that comes with living in Los Angeles- Knowing how to adapt to high volumes of vehicular traffic and living among a lot of people with intense schedules and lifestyles. The same could be said of New York, Chicago, San Francisco, Atlanta or Seattle; in fact, of any large city. Los Angeles, though, has The Allure; a generally mild climate and a goodly number of laid-back people, scattered among the intense crowd.

Penny and I visited Hollywood, in the Spring of 1986, heading straight for the Walk of Fame, after having spent a day in Disneyland and the following evening at Knotts Berry Farm. This was our only trip to LA. All other California visits focused on San Diego, Santa Cruz and, once, Santa Barbara. Since she’s been gone, I’ve been in the LA area a few times, but today was my first visit back to Hollywood. This time, the Walk of Fame was not on the agenda. My purpose was a visit with one of the above-mentioned aspirants in my circle, who is one of my son’s best friends, and the venue was a small eatery on Hollywood Boulevard: Division 3.

As you can see, Hollywood, as it exists for many people who live there, is rather densely built, with parking at a high premium. All manner of people are out and about. I initially parked about a half-mile away, near a Catholic school, well off the main drag. When I.P. arrived, we walked up to my parking spot and he told me of better, closer spaces. So, Elantra ended up about two blocks south of Hollywood and Bronson.

Back at Division 3, we enjoyed about 2 1/2 hours of conversation, catching up on all that transpired since Aram had last visited Phoenix, about four years ago. As it happened, that was the length of time that the harried restaurant chef needed to fill our order. Hollywood establishments frequently get slammed with large, spur-of-the-moment orders, especially at lunch time. The fare was worth it, as neither of us happened to be in much of a rush. One touching moment was a homeless man, seemingly a bit confused, asking me where Michael J. Fox was. I told him Mr. Fox was off working for Parkinson’s research, which made him feel better. IP and I got in our Hollywood, 2019 photos. (That’s my camera case, on my right hip, BTW.)

The meet-up ended all too soon, and I was off on the last part of this LA adventure: The Slog. Hollywood-to-Rossmore-to-Wilshire-to-Crenshaw-to- I-10 was pretty much a breeze. LA to Palm Desert was far less so. It was 3:15, when I merged onto my moving home, for the next four hours. What is comforting about The Slog is that, as in Chicago and New York, people have worked it out. Public Enemy # One would be anyone who causes an accident; things are hard enough as it is. We were family in anonymity, keeping watch for those who were moving slower or faster than the majority. No one, in my scrum, was injured or inconvenienced, and by 7:15, I was in Palm Desert, stopping to visit Bill Tracey’s crew at the third branch of Bill’s Pizza. It is a large, spacious and very welcoming edifice, off Highway 111.

The Slog is hardly something in which I will be partaking, frequently. It is an ungainly use of energy, time and space, necessary, for the foreseeable future-but crying out for alternatives. Surface roads help out some; yet mass transit and more regional urban villages need to be a greater part of the mix.

I am stopped for the night, at Western Sands Motel, in this easternmost edge of LA’s Metro Extension. Tomorrow, I head back to Home Base and preparations for what may turn into an early winter-snow is part of the forecast, next week and the week after.

The Wilshire Finger Points East

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on November 18, 2019 in collaborating, Community, Historical, Inspiration, Social, Travel

November 12, 2019, Santa Monica-

There are any number of iconic streets across the country, and in the Los Angeles area, in particular. U.S. Route 66 ends (or begins) here, a scant few blocks from where I stood just moments ago. Several of the streets around this quadrant are enshrined in my childhood memory, albeit from TV ( Sunset Boulevard and Strip remain in the Long-Term Bank, thanks to Edd “Kookie” Byrnes, who was the king of smooth). Route 66 itself was the province of George Maharis (“Buzz Murdock”, Kookie’s heir apparent).

It is Wilshire Boulevard, though, which has the most cachet- It starts here, overlooking the beach and hosts some of LA’s great museums. Wilshire leads the visitor to UCLA’s turnoff, to Hollywood and, eventually, to Koreatown.

At its western terminus, St. Monica herself is the traffic icon, standing between Wilshire and the long drop down a steep cliff.

I chose to walk, from the far end of Third Avenue’s Promenade, to this overlook.

So, the true glory of Santa Monica, these days, lies in how the city is making itself pedestrian-friendly. Third Street Promenade, like other urban pioneering efforts, is a well-planned and relaxing venue for people, of all walks of life, to re-center themselves. My first order of business, after checking out of Rest Haven, was to find breakfast. That matter was resolved by Santa Monica’s branch of LA’s Le Pain Quotidien. Mini-pancakes and cafe au lait sufficed, as there will be a lunch meet-up with a family friend later on, in Hollywood. LPQ is my kind of spot, though, with a long communal table that goes against the “keep away from my turf” ethic that is so prevalent in many American establishments. Strangers here are truly “friends you haven’t met.”

These are just a few of what LPQ offers.

The long row does have its share of kitsch, in the form of dinosauria. At least, it’s imaginative kitsch.

Bella, another signature cafe, would have been my breakfast choice, had not LPQ stared me in the face, when I first left the parking garage.

Walking towards the beach overlook, I was captivated by a small boy, who was re-arranging these chess pieces, under his mother’s watchful eyes. I sat a few rows away and pondered his “strategy”. For a four-year-old, the little guy was doing quite well.

Such is life, in one of Los Angeles’ most eclectic satellite communities. Now, it is time for me to head to yet another of those: Hollywood.

Canalside Ruminations

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on November 17, 2019 in Community, Hiking and Nature, Historical, Inspiration, Social, Striving, Travel

November 11, 2019, Venice, CA-

As I set out to walk alongside the canals of this down-to-earth beach community, I noted that its namesake, in Italy, is at serious risk of sinking into its swampland underpinnings. California’s Venice has its own concerns: Earthquakes and a large homeless population being two very different such points of focus. This is a part of Los Angeles where it is not unusual for people to set up impromptu “shops” along South Venice Boulevard, across from the north entrance to the Canal Walking Path. There are many who sleep where they can, around the village.

The canals themselves are lined by eclectic houses, which seem to have many students and artists, in residence. The quirkiness of the district is as much of a draw as the serenity that radiates from an early morning, canalside.

I chose to walk mainly along Grand Canal, which is the western boundary of the District. My route took in the bridges of Carroll, Linnie, Howland and Sherman Canals, at their juncture with Dell Street.

Here is a long view of Grand Canal.

I turned left at Carroll Canal, looking to cross the bridge in the foreground.

From the Dell Street Bridge, here is a view towards the Eastern Canal.

A couple of Little Egrets were on hand. Here is one, grooming herself, along the Grand Canal.

There is plenty of kitsch here, as well, including a Pink Flamingo paddle boat.

Linnie Canal is the next feeder to Grand Canal, going north to south.

As is seen in a previous paragraph, Halloween has a lingering presence, in the Canal District.

Howland Canal came next, on my southward jaunt.

These peace-infusing homes are at the junction of Grand Canal and Howland.

This Gingko Tree nearly overwhelms the towpath.

An upside-down dinghy strikes a pensive mood.

Various messages appear, along Grand Canal, between Howland and Sherman.

Canalside gardens also tend to be polychromatic.

Here is a view of Grand Canal, as it bends towards Sherman.

As I crossed Sherman Canal Bridge, and was walking northward again, I caught this Little Egret on its way to “safer” perches.

This mural, outside the Canal District, depicts some whimsical creatures out of Dr. Seuss’s lesser known tales.

With a peaceful counterpoint to the noise and energy of Venice Beach, I felt ready to take a look at Santa Monica’s vibrant Third Street Promenade.

A Day of Small Parades

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on November 15, 2019 in Assistance, Community, Hiking and Nature, Historical, Personal Values, Social, Travel

November 11, 2019, Santa Monica-

For the first time in several years, I was not in Prescott for Veteran’s Day. The three-day weekend coincided with key events that I have already described and with a long-standing visit to Orange County and Los Angeles. I honour my fellow veterans and my own service, almost on a daily basis, in thought, word and deed. Coming by other communities’ parades, if it came to that, would not be such a bad thing.

As it happened, a few veterans were at Gramma’s Country Kitchen, when I took a seat at the counter. We quietly enjoyed our breakfasts, the regulars gathered in their group and I headed off, towards Hemet, Menifee and Lake Elsinore. Traffic in the Riverside County suburbs was rather light, for a day of considerable commercial activity.

I chose the winding Ortega Highway as my route to the coast. There were clusters of commuters, for whom I pulled over, as my first order of business was checking the water level of the reservoir for which the city of Lake Elsinore is named. It looked to me that the lake is hurting, a bit, which is surprising, given the high water levels of reservoirs north of Los Angeles.

The views from the bluffs east of town were nonetheless impressive, though.

There is a face, of sorts, chiseled into the limestone bluff, in the middle.

Winding along Highway 74, as the Ortega is otherwise known, I came upon El Cariso, a wide spot in the road, which hosts the California Wildland Firefighters’ Memorial. It was initiated to honour the six firefighters killed in the Decker Fire, in 1959. There is a trail from the memorial plaque to the actual site where the men died. As I was due to meet a friend at Crystal Cove State Park, the trail was put off for another time.

Here are some scenes from the Memorial site.

These scenes show the general area where the tragedy took place.

My next stop, a bit north of Laguna Beach, was Crystal Cove, a state park which features beach cabins, in various states of disrepair-especially on the north side of the park. My friend, J, who lives about an hour away, has visited the site several times. I’ve been with her on four such visits, and am always interested in the progress, or lack thereof, in the renovation.

It appears, this time, that the work is being done in earnest.

There were scattered birds looking for their meals, as the tide was out. This little one appears to be a kind of sandpiper.

Some children had compiled a cross between a cairn and a rock castle. The stone on the front left reminded me, a bit, of Spirit Tower, in northeast Wyoming.

With that, our table ringer vibrated and we went to lunch at Beachcomber’s. The problems of the world, or at least our individual corners of it, were resolved over a fresh repast. I even was given a second bowl of tomato soup, whether by mistake or because I was wearing an American Legion t-shirt, is open to interpretation. The meals were great, in any case, and I made dinner out of what was left, this evening.

On the way north along the coast, from Crystal Cove, I stopped in Lomita, where I had stayed at a reasonable motel in the past. I found it had become a residential motel, whose owner would not accommodate anyone staying one night, and that it was a cash only operation.

I continued on, past the South Bay beach towns and Long Beach, opting to stay in Santa Monica, at Rest Haven Motel, as Venice and Santa Monica are on my itinerary for tomorrow. Rest Haven’s staff are very kind and accommodating. This day has been a full one, but also very affirming.

NEXT: Canalside Reflections

A Pre-Trip Trifecta

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on November 14, 2019 in Community, Inspiration, Personal Values, Slow Food Prescott, Social, Spiritual

November 10, 2019-

The past three days have featured a wondrous series of memorable events, here in Home Base. The first of these will long stay with me: The wedding of one of my best friends’ youngest daughter. I have already paid homage to this wonderful young lady, who will continue to show the world just how much can be accomplished by knowing that one is able to achieve, and that one has the unconditional support of one parent, who is, in turn, greatly loved by family and friends. L has been very dear to my own heart, for several years now, and will remain so.

Saturday evening, I headed over to a planning meeting of Slow Food Prescott, that was to be preceded by a vegetarian potluck. It turned out, I was told the wrong time of the event’s beginning, so as I entered, the planning was in mid-session and there was enough food for one other late-comer and me. We got the gist of the planning, and enjoyed a pleasing meal.

Today, before setting out for a few days in southern California, I attended a memorial service for a restaurateur who had established, and built up, three restaurants here in Prescott, as well as two pizzerias in the Palm Springs area. His widow, child and successors in business were all in attendance. Many had delightful stories, and though I never met him in life, I feel like I know his goodness, based on my satisfying experiences in his restaurants here in Prescott. The name “Bill’s” in front of an eatery’s name has come to signify quality. I promised to stop by at least one of his namesake pizzerias, on my way back from the coast.

Thus, a busy and very crucial sets of events set the tone for my mini-break in “SoCal”.

NEXT: A Veteran’s Day with No Parade

Likability is Contagious

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on November 7, 2019 in children, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Personal Values, Social, Striving

November 7, 2019-

When I was a child, I was not “picked” for a team until last, most of the time, because of my relative lack of coordination. I was, however, not an unpopular person, mainly because everyone was welcome in my yard, and in my sandbox. The disputes I had with some neighbourhood kids were never permanent. I was taught that I was not the center of the Universe.

Jordan Peterson entitles his fifth rule for life “Don’t Let Your Kids Behave in A Way That Makes You Dislike Them”. He notes that many parents vehemently deny that they could ever dislike their children. I was not one of those. When our son did something that was distasteful or reprehensible, I thought to myself that it would be remiss of me, as a father, to gloss over it. So, I corrected him and established the lesson, that what his mother and I found unlikable, other people would also be inclined to take umbrage.

In seeing what he did that was unlikable, I also had to face myself, and look to see if I was also behaving the same way. Penny was good at making me take account for my flaws, and vice versa. We helped one another shed a fair amount of baggage, and after her passing, I had to shed a lot more-sometimes with the unwanted help of online critics but most often with my one-on-one self-critiques.

Today, he is largely a self-starter, and has weathered quite a few storms-many of which were not of his own making. He has many friends and has found a wonderful woman, with whom to build a life. None of this would have happened, had he been saddled with laissez-faire parents and absent extended family. Penny’s parents were present, every step of the way, and my siblings took their avuncular duties seriously.

Dr. Peterson has thus encapsulated the need of the human being for constructive criticism, as well as praise, when it is warranted; that we innately have a need for boundaries to be set, as a way to know that we are in a safe environment. There is no finer gift that a parent can bestow upon a child.

The True Standard

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on November 5, 2019 in collaborating, distraction issues, impediments, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Striving

November 5, 2019-

Returning to Jordan Peterson’s “Twelve Rules for Life”, #4 states “Compare Your Present Self Only to Your Past Self, not to Anyone Else.”

As social animals, we so often give other human beings far too much credit, for perfection or superiority. I’ve heard from so many: “It’s cold and lonely, on the pedestal.”

So, I have made it my business to measure my progress, compared to where I was-six months ago, twenty, thirty or forty years ago. Then (1970), I hid from my peers. Now, I am in the world, but not of it. Then (1977), I found solace in the bottle. Now, I find peace and tranquility in service, in meditation and in standing up for the downtrodden. Then (1982), I handed out money on demand. Now, I contribute reasonably, without caving in to every demanding voice or thrust-out hand. Then (1981), I viewed different people with different lenses. Now, every human being is seen in the light of their character. Then, (1954-1986), I looked upon myself as essentially unworthy of love, as damaged goods. Now, I am proud of what I have achieved, no matter what others might view as inadequate. Then, (until 2010), I saw myself as a frequent victim of “politicians”, “the Elite”, “the Establishment”. Now, I see those in positions of power as basically living out their own life plan, without seeing myself as a pawn on their chessboard. Then, (prior to 2012), I had no idea why I behaved atypically, so often. Now, I know I have a place on the Autism/Asperger’s spectrum-and that’s okay.

The only true standard we have is our own life.

	Sagittarian Seeker on The Hana Chronicles: Month 8,…
	slmret on The Hana Chronicles: Month 8,…
	Sagittarian Seeker on The Hana Chronicles: Month 8,…
	slmret on The Hana Chronicles: Month 8,…
	Sagittarian Seeker on The Hana Chronicles: Month 8,…

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