Health and Healing-  Post Traumatic Stress Disorder can hit any of us, any time there is a serious life-changing event, or series of events, that happen all of a sudden.  It is not just in a war zone or after a wide-spread disaster, that such things hit.  The loss of a loved one or a natural event that affects only a relative few people, when it hits out of the blue, can send one spinning into a very hellacious space.  So can chronic, undiagnosed pain.

There are a couple of people online, for whom I have great affection, who are going through severe PTSD, from the looks of things.  This sort of thing needs to be taken seriously.  I will do what I can, which in one of the cases probably isn’t much.

Life- Mine is good.  I went over to a gathering this evening, and stayed for about an hour- before slipping out, pretty much unnoticed.  People were heavily into themselves, and that’s okay.  One of my better friends had some good things happen to her today.  That’s fantastic, because she needed to catch a break or two, and I know she can do fabulous things.  I did some cleaning and straightened up a few things, before tomorrow night’s event.  I also talked with my son, on the phone, this afternoon.  He’s holding his own, and I am immensely proud of him for learning and growing as a man.

Money- I was gently chided by someone, who said “The more you give, the more you get.”  Well, that’s true, to an extent.  If I gave as much as the collective charities want, I’d have nothing left.  Just to satisfy my critics, let me say that 15-20% of what I bring in each month, goes to charities of my choice- my Faith, a child protection entity and a children’s hospital, plus the little boy I sponsor, in another country.  That’s all anyone needs to know.

Spirit- 

That one indeed is a man who, today, dedicateth himself to the service of the entire human race.

Well, this week is half over.  I am hoping the snow-weary people of much of our Hemisphere (northern) will catch a break, after the storm anticipated for this weekend.

It was a busy one; no work, but a two-hour Red Cross meeting broke up the festivities.  I enjoyed a fine bowl of albondigas at Shannon’s Deli, afterwards.  My regular Tuesday night Baha’i study circle, in Chino Valley, capped the day.

Personal/Social- I am blessed with so many friends and well-wishers, and am always glad to return the love.  One of my best friends in the world noted that I have never been a liar.  In fact, I’m probably the world’s worst silvertongue.  I couldn’t carry a falsehood forward, if a million dollars were at stake.  Now, misunderstanding, and misstating things, in all sincerity- that happens when I get too overwrought.  That, and an occasional outburst of “hell” or “damn”, have gotten me kicked out of places, and out of good people’s hearts. I can only imagine what real cussing would bring down on my head. Still and all, I lead a mighty happy life.

Plans- I made further progress on a mission of homage and mercy, coming up March 7-10.  As it’s a rather focused, necessarily brief journey to a place where I have extended family, and a couple of dear friends, I am playing close to the vest on this one.                                 On a different note, March 15 will bring me down to Phoenix Convention Center, for a business convention.

Wider world- People ought not get so over the top about money.  I’m frugal towards myself, a bit more generous with those closest to me and with certain charitable causes.  No one can give to every outstretched hand, though; yet many thrust their hands out, capriciously, anyway.  I see Wall Street came back, a bit, today.  It makes sense- every stock that gets sold back to the pot, ends up getting a new buyer, after a fashion.  Money, like all other things in the world, recycles itself handsomely.  One just needs to be patient, and know where to look.

Spirit-   Knowledge, too, is limitless.

It is permissible to study sciences and arts, but such sciences as are useful and would redound to the progress and advancement of the people. Thus hath it been decreed by Him Who is the Ordainer, the All-Wise.

This was a fabulous day for me.  I pray for those who had a hard time, though, especially in the Midwest.  Northeasterners, take a deep breath and get the shovels ready, again.  Minnesotans and Wisconsinites, stay by the fireplaces tomorrow.  These, too, will pass, and Valentine’s Day is 8 days out.

In the world of January, 2014, the Polar Vortex has been dislodged, has stunned eastern North America with extreme cold, in turn sending “Nor’easter” storm patterns to western Europe.  Diagonally, across the globe, much of Australia has had triple-digit Fahrenheit heat, where there would normally be heavy rain.

Personal behaviour, and its underlying sense of well-being, have taken a nose dive, over the past twenty years or so.  This is nothing new, but the pace of various types of offensive and callous activity has picked up, of late.  Social networks are getting manifestly less social.  Interpersonal clashes have become more intense, and occur more readily.

Political and economic affairs are conducted with less caution, and with more attention to expediency, as neurotic means to power.  Those entrusted with such matters look mainly towards discrediting their perceived opponents, and each “side” is aided and abetted by those in the media who are of like mind.

The above is the world of shadow.

Let us take a look at an emerging, parallel realm.  Here, there is a sense of calm.  Even in a time of climatic unrest, those faced with the extreme cold or heat know that it is temporary.  Their minds sense a bounty from the intense cold- that persistent insect pests, impervious to the deadly poisons that are supposed to curb them, are dying off in the polar frigidity.  Likewise, the aridity in the southern hemisphere is doing away with deadly mosquitoes and other pathogen hosts.

In the world of light,  people are facing conflict in a civil, constructive manner.  This is possible when one looks upon those around oneself as fellow human beings, as creatures endowed with virtues, as fellow travelers.  Matters politic and economic are faced collectively.  Matters familial are resolved through consultation between equal partners.

The world of light is not a dream world, contrary to the contentious retorts of those who have invested their emotional energy in keeping the status quo of division and oneupmanship.  It is a world that is slowly and steadily being built, as the world of shadow gradually collapses of its own weight.  Those who think they thrive on hate and distrust are finding that the satisfaction derived from their activities is diminishing, day by day.  Some of them are looking towards the rising tide and overcoming their inner barriers.  Others, needing more convincing that the “tried and true” is imperative of preservation, up their game and cause more destruction, actin more depraved.  This only hastens the collapse of the very system they claim to be defending.

“Soon,” Bahá’u’lláh’s own words proclaim it, “will the present day Order be rolled up, and a new one spread out in its stead. Verily, thy Lord speaketh the truth and is the Knower of things unseen.” “By Myself,” He solemnly asserts, “the day is approaching 162 when We will have rolled up the world and all that is therein, and spread out a new Order in its stead. He, verily, is powerful over all things.” “The world’s equilibrium,” He explains, “hath been upset through the vibrating influence of this Most Great, this new World Order. Mankind’s ordered life hath been revolutionized through the agency of this unique, this wondrous System, the like of which mortal eyes have never witnessed.” “The signs of impending convulsions and chaos,” He warns the peoples of the world, “can now be discerned, inasmuch as the prevailing Order appeareth to be lamentably defective.”

This is not the “New World Order” proclaimed by the political leaders of the West, some twenty-five years ago.  No one nation, no one leader, will call all the shots.  No tyrant, whether political or sectarian, will rule the peoples of the world.  Baha’u’llah further says “This is the Day that shall not be followed by night, nor shall it be bounded by any praise, would that ye might understand!”  We see many dystopian visions of the future, in books and on film.  These reflect our worst fears, thus accounting for their relative popularity.  What will actually transpire, with or without our help, will be precisely what Jesus the Christ promised, that for which He gave His earthly life, and for which every Spiritual Teacher has suffered, in some unique way:  “Thy Kingdom come, on Earth, as it is in Heaven”.

So, the choice falls to each individual on the planet- Preserve the shadow, or spread the Light.

I have logged off of Facebook, until February 1.  (This post will be published on that site, though I won’t be there to respond to any comments that are posted.  Other posts I put on WordPress, for the rest of January, will not be shared on Facebook.)

Now, as to why.  Well, there are two reasons, both stemming from the same, seemingly innocuous incident.  A longtime friend asked for my input on something.  As I was pre-occupied with something that seemed to me to be terribly earthshaking at the time, I made an offhand reply.  To make a long story short, my response was not what this friend wanted, and thus ended a previously good friendship.   Baha’u’llah teaches, “The foundation of all relationships is trust.”  As this person no longer felt that I was trustworthy, the relationship was done.  This, in turn, led to my feeling that, for the time being, there really was no point to my staying on that social media site, and I am on hiatus.  The only reason I have not deactivated my account on Facebook is that there are 524 other friends and relatives, whom I also care about deeply- and with whom I want eventually to reconnect.  Thus, I will go back on February 1.

Now, for the second reason I am on hiatus.  Baha’u’llah also teaches us, “O EMIGRANTS!  The tongue I have designed for the mention of Me, defile it not with detraction.  If the fire of self overcome you, remember your own faults and not the faults of My creatures, inasmuch as every one of you knoweth his own self better than he knoweth others.” – Baha’u’llah, The Hidden Words, from the Persian.   I know my own heart.  I know that, at no time did  I ever wish ill towards this person.  At no time did I ever regard my friend’s problems or issues in a lighthearted or offhand manner.  It’s not whom I am.

Each one of us approaches life differently.  So, it stands to reason that a better way to understand someone is to ask what is his/her perspective, rather than to tell him/her what their thoughts, feelings, motives are.   I’ve had people tell me, “You’re abasing yourself online.  Stop it!”  From others, “You’re a horrible person, and no friend at all!”   Everyone’s idea, or concept, of a friend is different.  I can only say how I see it.  Others are entitled to their views.  To me, though:

1.  A friend listens.
2. A friend defers attention, when there is something pressing that intervenes.
3. A friend does not let assumptions get in the way of friendship.
4. A friend does not let pain, whether his or the other’s, destroy a friendship.
5. A friend forgives, while expecting the injuring one to overcome that which led him/her to do the hurt.
6. A friend picks up where the friendship left off.
7. A friend says “No”, where “Yes” would be easier, but not beneficial.
8. A friend calls those he loves to a higher level of discourse.
9. A friend is forever.                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Those who read this, you remain in my heart, and yes, if I hear that you are in distress, I will do all I can to help.  This is not because I am better, or “more noble”, but because we are both human.

I’ve talked about relationships, around these parts, ad nauseam- most recently, last summer.  The reader may expect no confessional drivel this time.  I want to look at two things, in this post:  Expectations and delivery.

This piece focuses on adult relationships.  Teens are pretty good at working out their own bugs, and besides, none of them have asked my opinion lately, anyway.  Come to think of it, NO ONE has asked my opinion lately.  A friend asked me for some Viagra, not long ago, but I’ve never used the stuff- and the only part of me that even used lubrication recently was my car.

Well, back to the stuff of life.  When I was a tumbleweed seeking rootedness, about 4o years ago, I would fuss and fume at any girl who didn’t immediately recognize my awesomeness, from ten miles away.  That just made the ladies and their friends laugh that much louder.

Relationships now, are more balanced.  One has to start with one’s relationship with self.  I have come to the conclusion that I would be a positive addition to many people’s circles of friends.  I am comfortable being in this house, alone, for days on end- when need be.  That really has to happen first; otherwise, the Nuisance Meter starts catterwhaulin’ and wailing, about the time one gets done with the morning shave.

Next is what does one expect, when leaving the house in the morning.  There  is no one in my neighbourhood with whom I  have any sort of romantic attachment.  Yet, greeting each of my neighbours with a smile and politely, sincerely, answering their queries, is the foundation to a good, worthwhile day.

Among the inhabitants of this town, there are many attractive women.  I’ve managed to become something of a friend to one of them, and am glad of her company and good graces.  This leads me to the crux of the matter.  Adult relationships, at any level, from social friendship to commitment, start with RESPECT: Respect for space, respect for time, respect for beliefs, respect for person.  Aretha started that whole thing up, when I was in high school, but we haven’t, from the looks of things, come very far.  The friend I mentioned above has a full plate.  I have learned that being in her corner means NOT taking up the whole spot.  I have my little square, and when she needs my help- HEEERE’s Gary ( without the insane Jack Nicholson leer, mind you).  The rest of the time, we are operating on our own particular wavelength.

I make abundantly clear, to all of my friends,  that I am here for them.  I also have items on my Life List (Bucket List is so overused), in which I am glad to include them, but which I will otherwise do singly and alone, as needed.  I respect their same mindset.  I look forward to many years, with several of my friends along for the ride.  Just let me know which station stops are your preferred boarding and departure points.