Cautions

0

February 25, 2026- As I brought Hana downstairs, after her bath this evening, I stopped on the last step before the living room floor. She looked at me and babbled a loud caution-perhaps wondering if I was about to stumble. Little ones have more intuition than we might imagine. No worries, though; I just stepped carefully and all was well.

Earlier today, I brought my Sportage up to the dealer for several items of maintenance. A recall that had been put off for several months was also addressed. It turns out that the ignition switch was plastic-as in “gone in 30 seconds” plastic. It was replaced by a metal switch-which is much harder to pop out.

I spent my wait time during the service call enjoyably, by walking to and from downtown McKinney-a 2.2 mile walk, each way. Reasonable caution is needed, as not all of the route features paved sidewalks. There are, however, nice grassy paths in the unpaved areas, and one just needs to find ways around a couple of construction sites. Once past that, Texas is very good about making sure there are metered crosswalks, at every major intersection. There is a three or four block commercial district, on the other side of US 75, then one gets to walk through a mile-long residential district, a peaceful place of stately homes.

We then come to McKinney’s historic downtown (There are few downtowns that are not regarded as historic, but I digress.) This area is a pedestrian’s delight, with a goodly number of shops and restaurants. For lunch, I chose a breakfast and lunch place called Spoons. A hot, if mild, cup of chicken tortilla soup went well with a meatloaf sandwich. Christina and her team take good care of everyone. I went on to Neighbor Books, ordering a couple of child development volumes by Michael Gurian and Sean Kullman and finally picking up a copy of “Nobody’s Girl”, by Virginia Giuffre. Caution, for a grandparent, especially for the grandfather of a girl, means being completely informed.

No child, no human being, should be viewed as the means to an end.

How Hard Is It?

0

February 24,2026- Ten random questions come to mind, on this quiet day.

How hard is it, to see a girl or woman as a full human being, with valid dreams and aspirations that are worthy of support?

How hard is it, to not project one’s own insecurities or perceived inadequacies on another person-as a means of avoiding personal responsibility?

How hard is it to recognize that a person of another shade of brown is not an inherent threat to life and limb?

How hard is it to see that a person’s being from another country is not a “Go Straight to Jail” card?

How hard is it to not put an infant, or small child, in harm’s way, in the name of policy?

How hard is it to read the United States Constitution and abide by it?

How hard is it to listen to another person’s point of view, and not take it as a personal attack?

How hard is it to remember the person you once were and go back to the best of those basics?

How hard is it to place monetary gain well behind following the Ten Commandments/ Golden Rule?

How hard is it to have spiritual gifts and not use them as a means to an emotional or remunerative end?

A Better Fit

4

February 23, 2026– While I was going through my twelve exercises, on the machines at Planet Fitness, this evening, a young woman nearby was benching 225 pounds. I passed by, on my way to the massage lounge, while she was resting, and offered a glance of encouragement. She certainly was performing a feat that I am unlikely to even remotely approach. She is doing something right for herself, and those in her circle who are encouraging such achievements deserve kudos as well.

This is the sort of elevative wraparound I want to build for Hana. The “Mighty Girl”ethos, not taking away from a similar network for boys, but making personal empowerment a universal child rearing model. This is not a zero-sum game, and those who insist it is are themselves only coming from a position of weakness-regardless of their personal trappings of wealth and power.

I have read a fair amount, recently, about the debilitative effects of patriarchy. It is not only the rich and powerful who operate under this system, as any young woman in a tradition-laden society, who has to marry the man who her father has arranged for her, finds, often to her sorrow. There are more subtle ways the patriarchy knocks the props out from under a woman or girl-linguistically, vocationally, or in terms of expectations. Perhaps the most insidious is the use of women who are either defeated or are somehow in league with those men who are maintaining the patriarchal system. There are several prominent examples of this phenomenon in our present society.

Hana will face many more choices, as she gets older. My main focus will be on helping her sift out the limiting agents of the patriarchy (including those who come on as glamourous or empowering, but are really old vinegar in new bottles). Her parents and I will be her sounding boards, and biggest cheer squad-and God help the person or persons who try to derail her.

Observant

0

February 22, 2026- Hana enjoys sitting and watching her mother do simple household tasks. She is very intent while Yunhee folds clothes or cleans countertops. Of course, when Mommy is putting a small piece of furniture together, that brings a smile to Hana’s face. It’s almost as if, the more complicated the task, the more it captivates her. I can see that once she starts walking, Hana will be her mother’s shadow and will probably want to help in small ways.

Babies, being pre-lingual, can learn best by such observation. How ironic it is that so many of those with the power of utterance forget to be observant. There is a seeming disconnect between the five senses and speech. We are at a stage where, for too many, my late father-in-law’s wry comment “In the brain, out the mouth” is a rule of thumb. Pop would have liked Hana, just quietly watching everything that goes on, and only fussing when her initial cues of discomfort are not noticed by her grown-ups.

She has only one standing request, to be included in the life of the family, no matter how quotidian the course of events. It means the world to Hana to be sitting on the lap of one of us at the dinner table-again watching how we eat, listening to our conversations and seeing how we care for one another by passing food around the table and sharing everything.

We could all stand to remember what it’s like to not yet be mobile, and yet so observant, drinking in all the practical skills that will be needed later.

No Infantilization

0

February 21, 2026- Hana was squalling about a break in the feeding action, until I came downstairs and reminded her, in a calm voice, that being burped was part of the feeding process. She stopped squalling, let herself be burped and went back to feeding.

I know all the warnings given to grandparents about not spoiling their little darlings. As loving as I am to her, though, I will never jive the little girl. Those cautions and that guidance which her parents have in place have my backing as well. I want her to succeed and to enjoy the best that life has to offer. Those things don’t come to someone who throws a fit, and that realization comes with the first sets of delays and procedures that an infant experiences.

I will not infantilize my granddaughter. Her feelings, and her language, when it comes, will be honoured with respect. I will hold her and comfort her as often as she needs; I will not, however, enable her intemperance. Calmly, but firmly, we are checking all reasons for any distress she is exhibiting, and she is most appreciative once the hunger, the gas pains or soiled diaper have been addressed. She already knows, after only two months, that she is being taken seriously by all three of her adults.

I learned a lot from the parents at Dharma Farm, in Paulden, AZ, about not babying infants. That does not mean skimping on nurturing. It means teaching patience, consideration and gentleness, from the time a child can recognize faces and voices. It will also mean being considerate of others, from the time Hana can walk and speak.

I look at the larger situation around our country today and see that there are far too many, even in positions of power, who have been infantilized and pampered, and who have learned to fulminate at critics; manipulating people and situations to their advantage, Whether this has come from a lack of spirituality or from overemphasis on the material side of life, it has laid low any society where people have become numbed to the machinations of the overindulged few.

While I shudder at some of the behaviour of people both in positions of authority and in positions of civic responsibility, I see where it started, and will do my small part to make sure a little girl coming up in the world doesn’t follow poor examples.

Cyclical

0

February 20, 2026- I heard a few days ago, and read this morning, that with Saturn and Neptune converging astrologically at O degrees Aries, a 6000 year cycle has come to an end and that a new one has begun. Savvier people than I, with regard to astrology, will have a clearer understanding of what that means,in that particular sense.

I do know, though, that there is, and has been, a unifying energy around the planet, released in 1844 by al-Bab and energized even more in 1863, by Baha’ullah. Like most such processes, it has been slow to unfold, even with two world wars, several civil wars in various nations (including the United States), a global economic depression, a global pandemic and various countries choosing to live-for a time-under authoritarian rule. The unity of the human race, however, is sure to be one of the processes that arise out of this new cycle. It cannot be imposed on us. We must choose it for ourselves. Truthfully, though, I don’t see that we have many other options.

It was said, two days ago, that many shopworn institutions will continue to collapse and fade away, with new institutions, more fitting for this day and age, rising up to take their place. We certainly are seeing that-and I am not talking about models of Artificial Intelligence whose main feature is the exacerbation of human greed. I am talking more about grassroots efforts at improving the quality of life-from language preservation activities, to experiments in backyard farming, to co-operative small groups of parents raising children across familial lines,to alliances of countries that are not being organized by one or more “major powers” .

I want to mention that in my own life, another sea change has taken place. Just as in 1981-82, I became a Baha’i. left the Roman Catholic faith, relinquished alcohol dependency and entered into wedlock; as in 1986-92, we left the United States and learned to live in the beautiful land and culture of South Korea, becoming parents to a beautiful little boy; as in 2011, I laid my beloved wife to rest, let go of a house and community in Phoenix and moved to Prescott, traveling widely and also devoting many hours to community service, so now has the call of grandparenthood been answered and a new community become my Home Base.

One cycle ends, indeed, and another begins.

Celebrations, Losses and Growth

0

February 17, 2026- Hana slept through the night,at least from her midnight feeding to 6:30. when we woke her for her breakfast feeding. She might have slept longer, but was very happy to get breakfast. She is growing at a steady pace and is awake more during the day, alternating between our developmental activities with her and gazing up at a revolving mobile, talking to the animals in her soft voice-which gets loud when she needs something from us.

Today was a day of two celebrations: Mardi Gras and Lunar New Year (The Year of the Fire Horse begins today,) Mardi Gras is not such a big deal here, though many Texans, like Arizonans, will tell you “It’s Fat Tuesday, because we speak English in America”. Still, there are some Cajun and Creole places here. We observed Mardi Gras with a simple Cajun chicken salad for dinner. We don’t go out much at night, so costumes were not on the agenda. The Year of the Fire Horse will see us celebrating a bit more, over the next fifteen days. Penny was born during a Year of the Horse (1954). Hana’s birthday came at the end of the Year of the Snake, and she definitely has some Fire Horse qualities, especially being assertive and outspoken-like her grandmother was.

We lost two noteworthy people, yesterday and today. Robert Duvall was another of the greats of cinema to leave our midst. His roles, especially in “Apocalypse Now”, “The Godfather” and the television series. “Lonesome Dove”, showed characters of steel and velvet. He famously objected to the cutting of a scene in “Apocalypse Now”, in which his hard-nosed character saves the life of a Vietnamese child. He was in life, a man of integrity and conviction.

So, too, was Jesse Jackson. I recall his first run for the Democratic Presidential nomination, in 1984. Many who were disturbed by the Iran-Contra matter and who were equally put off by the “business-as-usual” nomination of Walter Mondale, gravitated towards the Reverend from South Carolina and Chicago. He made a respectable showing that Spring, and maintained a presence on the national scene for decades afterward, before a neurological disease ended his mobility and, today, his life. Jesse Jackson extended the reach of the Civil Rights movement- pointing out that “all means all”. Regardless of how uncomfortable that made many feel sometimes, he did not flinch.

Lastly, my heart goes to the family of a woman of whom many had never heard before today. Linda Davis was a highly-regarded Special Education teacher in Savannah, She was killed, while on her way to work, when an undocumented migrant from Guatemala panicked during an ICE traffic stop, and fled the scene, ran a red light and made a u-turn, before crashing into Dr. Davis’ car. It is unclear as to whether officers were “chasing” him, but what is clear is that Dr. Linda Davis died unnecessarily. My heart goes to her family, colleagues and students, whoby all accounts, loved and cherished her.

Growth, celebration and loss are inextricably intertwined.

Freyja and Thirteen

3

February 13, 2026- Friday is named for Freyja, the Norse goddess of just about everything earthy. She is given the portfolios of love and war, among other matters, thus making her job pretty much impossible. It is said by some that she was a child born of siblings, which would seem to make just about any task impossible for her to perform, though what do I know about supernatural genetics? She had a husband who was always off doing his own thing, leaving her to raise two daughters alone. We thus honour her by naming many people’s favourite day of the week in her honour.

Friday is, for people in business, a day to wrap things up for the week and to set sights on the following Monday. For teachers and office workers, it’s an afternoon and evening of unwinding. For many in tight-knit neighbourhoods, it’s another day to gather at the corner bar. For me, it was a night to catch live music at the Raven or Rafter 11, when I lived in Prescott and for going to a coffee shop for the same, when Penny and I were in Flagstaff or Phoenix.

Nowadays, Friday is another day of being with my granddaughter and all the snuggling, playing a little game of “Stand-Up, Sit Down” (for which she loves being praised for standing up, straightening her legs, with my support and then sitting back down) and helping with her personal care and feeding. There are no special things that distinguish one day from another, save that her father is off work on Saturday and Sunday. This is new for me, and likely is only a temporary state of affairs. (The world will inject itself into our lives again, soon enough.)

Friday the 13th, depending on one’s point of view, is either a day to revel in the joys provided by feminine energy or a day to stay home and hide under the covers. I can’t stand to stay in bed after 6 or 7, and my time with Hana begins at 5, so the second option has about as much appeal as a root canal. I’ve always loved women and girls, so the first choice has been easy to go with. To date, I have not had any bad experiences on Friday the Thirteenth. If anything, it’s been a fairly good day, over the years.

Freyja, wherever she is, must be smiling on our little Hana.

Our Better Nature

0

February 12, 2026- Abraham Lincoln closed his first Inaugural Address with:
“I am loath to close. We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave to every living heart and hearthstone all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.”

He struck a conciliatory tone to the slaveholders of the Southern and Border states, in a last ditch effort to avoid the outbreak of hostilities. Some became emboldened, and it didn’t work. We are warned, in Scripture, not to encourage those who lie, steal or engage in selfish behaviour. Lincoln thought he could convince those he regarded as “friends and neighbours” to retreat from their threats of secession. He would have done best to have heeded Christ:

“Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.” – Matthew 7:6

“Warn a divisive person once, and then warn them a second time. After that, have nothing to do with them.” – Titus 3:10

When I was a teenager, I was warned by elders who have since passed, but who I respect to this day, to not give in to bullies. I stood my ground a few times, enough so that the kids backed off and some eventually became friends. Had I not stood up for myself, it was clear that they would have become emboldened.

It is also clear that, in the days when confrontation, and going after “the low-hanging fruit” are practices being substituted for reasoned policy-making and public discourse, the angels of our better nature require standing ground by sticking to facts, orienting self and avoiding the temptation to fall back on self-propelled fantasy. They require listening, certainly, and they require discernment, in evaluating what one has heard.

In-Laws

0

February 11, 2026- My mother-in-law would have turned 100 today. I look back on her contributions to our family life with a lot more gratitude than I might have shown as a thirty something and forty something work in progress. She had another term for it: “piece of work”, but she knew I was doing the best I could with what I had.

In-laws work together, coming from different generations, life experiences and perspectives. Hers was a more Victorian, adult-centric view, and she spoke of how her own childhood found her often shoved to the sidelines, by elders more concerned with “important issues”, in which children had no say. That lesson came hard to her, and I got the feeling that she wished she could be more tolerant of little ones. That aside, she raised Penny to be a caring and responsible woman; that gave me a wonderful helpmate, and Aram, a marvelous mother.

Now, it is my turn to be an in-law. I think the world of Yunhee, and get along well with her parents. She is hands down the best wife Aram could want and an exemplary mother to Hana. What I learned from Norm and Bunny is that there is a fine line between showing concern for the well-being of the family and getting in between husband and wife. I have a good situation now, in which Aram and Yunhee will invite my assistance, while I give them space to raise Hana as they see fit, and to consult me if they have issues, for which answers elude them.

I can sense the folks, and my parents, are with Penny, looking on with delight at seeing our son and daughter-in-law raising an exceptional child of their own.