Desperation and Adulthood

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Yesterday was my mother’s actual 85th birthday. We had no group events planned for today, just those of us who love her most either called or went to see her.  I did the latter.

In the course of our two-hour conversation, I realized that this is the first time I have EVER talked with the woman who gave me life as one adult to another.  She asked me how I was doing with my grief over losing Penny.  I told her I was in the state of acceptance.  She asked me about my friendships with other women.  I told her I felt close to one person, as a friend, that this woman is very nice and had had faced and overcome several challenges.  After bantering to me about how she thinks I should be looking for a Sugar Mama,  who will shower me with money and good things, my mother got serious again.  She agreed with me that any future relationship would be built step-by-step, and would be the outcome of a friendship built slowly and carefully, over time.

Mom said that, when the man who was her best friend came into her life, two years after Dad passed on, the man seemed breathless, desperate for her love and attention.  Gradually, he calmed down, and took her as a friend, on her terms.  Mom asked me whether I ever felt desperate.

I had to be honest- there have been two occasions, both thankfully of brief duration, when an impulse of desperation came in to my consciousness.  In the first instance, no one said anything to me, despite the abject silliness of my behaviour.  Instead those who are aware of the situation have chosen to whisper among themselves, and keep me at arm’s length, showing a cold cordiality when I join their meetings.

The second instance was handled by the person involved, in a far different manner.  She confronted me privately, gently, but with a definite and earnest fire- owning her own hurt and disappointment in my behaviour.  This was a wake-up call like no other, and I have been alert, ever since.  She showed me just how un-desperate I  actually am, and should remain.

That, my friends and readers, is how an ADULT handles obstreperous  behaviour; how a true friend turns an overgrown child into a mature, and fully-functioning being, operating on all cylinders and giving the most to a friendship.

I will always love this person, and intensely so, for the very reason I just described above.  Those who expect, and exact, the very best from us are our only real friends in this life, and in this universe.  My angel, in the great beyond, looks out for me, and sends people into my life who will keep me as honest as she did, in her life on Earth.  I am grateful for her having been in my life for so many years, and for her watching over me still.  I am grateful, too, for my best friend, C, setting me straight, and staying in my life-when it would have been so easy for her to cut loose.  I am grateful for all those friends whom I have met and with whom I have spent time on this trip- Wes Hardin, Sandra Liz, Beth and David Glick, Tom and Jody Stevens, Tom Belmonte- and for those friends who I may very well see on the return trip. I am grateful for my mother, my late father, my siblings and all my relations, because of the life you have enhanced.

My friends, embrace life- and you need not struggle.  There is enough to go around, for all of us.

From Home to Home and Back, Day 11: Labor Day at Lake Quannipowitt

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This small lake, in the center of Wakefield, MA, was critical  to the Wampanoag and Penacook people, long before the British Puritans came to the area.  Wakefield, however, was established here, as Lynn Village, in 1638, because of the Mill River and Lake Quannipowitt.  The town was renamed, for Cyrus Wakefield, a furniture maker and town benefactor, in 1868.

On Labor Day, my brother, Glenn, and I walked the trail around the lake.  Of course, we started at the gazebo, on the Town Green.

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Here is the Congregationalist Church.

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Next to the church, and with its back to the lake, is the James Hartshorne House.

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This structure is a former home for a cemetery caretaker.

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Look carefully, and you will see a whooping crane.

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This is the Wakefield branch of Gingerbread Construction Company.

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That, my friends, is how I spent a good part of Labor Day.

A Paradise Called El Dorado

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In May, 2012, a  very dear friend showed me the way to El Dorado Springs State Park.  We weren’t able to do much more than view the falls area, that day, but I kept the scene in my heart.  On July 29,of this year, I was able to ignore the intermittent rain and take the canyon hike, up to the junction with a longer loop trail, then back again.  It is among the most gorgeous trails I’ve yet seen.

So, meet El Dorado Canyon! 🙂  There are a  lot of photos here, so take your time.

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A narrow-gauge rail system goes through El DoradoCanyon, regularly.

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Prickly Pear cacti do nicely,at 10,000 feet.

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Location, location, location!

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So, there you have it.  This was not just any hike; it was the one that led me to overcome a few barriers- both physical and emotional.

Next:  Manitou Springs, Part 1:  The North Side

From Home to Home, and Back, Days 8-10: Showering with a Dog, and Other Unique Events

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Upon arriving at the home of my brother Glenn and SIL Barbara, on the night of August 30, I spent about 40 minutes catching up on Saugus World, tried on the clothes I had bought at Burlington Coat Factory, during a pit stop in Worcester, MA, then tumbled into the guest bed.

It was thundering and flashing when I awoke the next morning, so as I went in to take my turn in the shower, I was joined by their dog, Cati, who took a spot on the throw rug by the tub.  It seems this how some dogs cope with loud noises and electric energy coming from the skies.  I did my avuncular duty to the baby dog, and carefully stepped over her, after the shower was done.

These things come naturally to us, in my exponentially extended family.  I was, on the other hand, informed that none of my cousins would be available to see me, at any point during my visit.  No explanation was provided, but whatever.  My siblings, nieces and nephews were all on hand on Sept. 1, to honour my mother, as her 85th birthday is approaching.

I have posted some of the photos of that day, on Facebook, but will put them here, for those who get Update Fatigue from that medium, and just need a place where they can read my posts, not comment, and no one will care.  I get it. Some of my best friends get Update Fatigue, as do I sometimes.

The first step in any celebration is the set-up.  I helped with this, also.

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My family mainly hung out in the living room, as it rained off and on, for the two hours of the first gathering.

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Someone practices his grandparenting skills.

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The guest of honour presides.

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Rain did not deter the kids, big or small.

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The world’s best babysitter.

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In the evening, some of us gathered at a local restaurant.

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Like our last mass-gathering for her 75th, Mom’s 85th brought many of us together in joy and unity.

Lost in Transit, or Just Slow

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July 27 was one of those days when I got everywhere, and nowhere, at once.  The day before was rather cut  and dried.  I set out from Ottawa, KS, at the right time, then got as far as Wellington, by lunchtime.  I chose Penny’s Diner, for obvious reasons.  My waitress was a lovely woman, but rather stern-looking, which was okay, since I’m not on the prowl.

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I drove down to Enid, OK and spent the rest of the day at J. E. Glaze’s house, discussing certain matters with him, once he got done with work.  Early the next morning, J was still sleeping.  I left a jar of Wyoming Pickled Okra on his table, and set out towards Colorado, passing through the Oklahoma Panhandle, and these jarring scenes.

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I stopped for lunch on Saturday in Laverne, OK, just south of the Kansas line.

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I ended up driving on back roads, to the extent that my calculations about arrival time for meeting a former Xangan, who was in need of advice, in Manitou Springs, were way off.  I was able to reschedule the meeting for Tuesday, but it was still an “egg-on-the-face” moment.  After dinner in Larkspur, I just headed on up to my Colorado nest- in Northglenn.

Next:   At Long Last, Eldorado Springs.

From Home to Home and Back, Day 7: A Princeton Morning

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I always enjoy a visit to a large college or university campus.  Harvard, the University of San Diego and the University of Texas at Austin are among those I’ve visited in the past few years, besides those of Arizona’s state  university system.

So, it was with great pleasure that I accepted an invitation from fellow blogger Jeff Markowitz (The Chalk Outline) to visit the early 18th Century splendours of Princeton University, on the morning of August 30.

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We began, of course, with breakfast, at the venerable PJ’s Pancake House.SAM_6507

Once nourished, and filled with coffee, we set out, through Princeton’s bustling downtown.

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As with any great campus, a tour of Princeton begins at the main administrative hall.

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We were able  to look around the central hall, and then headed for Princeton’s large and venerable Chapel.

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Princeton’s north campus contains most of the major academic halls, such as the Sciences Complex.

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We came next to the Literature Building.SAM_6523

Our next stop was the central garden area.

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Our jaunt through the south part of campus took us past the dormitories, many of which are turreted, as well as the gymnasium and a hockey rink.

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Here, upon returning to the north side of the University, we encountered the statue of Princeton’s founder, John Witherspoon.

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As I have been told by some kind people that I can still turn heads, and since Windows XP will not allow the rotation of photographs, I will now put the first notion to the test.

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We returned to the town, after these photos were taken by a foreign student, and enjoyed a cool beverage, at Panera Bread, before visiting the historical cemetery, where Aaron Burr,  Jonathan Edwards (the fire and brimstone preacher, not the singer from the 1970’s) and pollster George Gallup, among others, are buried.  My camera battery ran out of juice before I could get shots of those graves, but not before I took a photo of the Robeson Center.  Paul Robeson was closely tied to Princeton, especially in his later years.

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Jeff is a most gracious and engaging guide.  He has photos of this excursion on his own WP site, The Chalk Outline.  I  encourage those interested in his genre, Crime Fiction, to visit the site and read his interesting works.

As it happened, I ended Day 7 at my brother’s house in Saugus, MA.  It is from here that the next several posts will emanate.

At Long Last, Gateway Time

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I have driven past the Gateway Arch, in St. Louis, about a dozen times.   This time, it was early afternoon, and the Arch was as accessible as it would ever be.  So, going around the downtown area, heading ever so slightly north, and doubling back along the Mississippi River, I made my way to the Arch’s parking garage and saw the symbol of Manifest Destiny, in its best light.

The park grounds, and the river itself, are as vital to the ambiance of this midsection wonder, as the structure itself.   Add to these, the revitalized downtown of St. Louis, and there is a destination of which all Americans can be proud.

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The Arch may be seen from 20 miles out.  From the top, via an elevator, one may view nearly twice that distance.    I forewent the latter view that afternoon of July 25.  Here, however, is the real deal, from the outside.

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As I rounded the corner, towards the historic Old Courthouse, one member of a group of young men gathered on the lawn called out “Hey, buddy, can you spare a …smile?”  Perfect, for such an amazingly lovely day.    Here is the Old Courthouse, a worthy venue for families and history buffs, alike.

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My last stop was the concourse, on the first floor of the Arch, where I had to undergo an emptying of the pockets and remove my belt, TSA-style, in order to use the restroom.  There is a worthwhile Heritage Museum and a couple of chain restaurants there, as well.

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I left St.  Louis ahead of rush hour traffic, zipping westward on I-70.  By dinner time, I was in central Missouri, and sustenance presented itself handsomely, at Panhead Billy’s Barbecue, in Kingdom City.

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As with most such places, the outward appearance of Panhead’s belied the quality of both food and service.  The young man and woman who shared serving honours bent over backwards to make me feel special, and the catfish had been caught in the Missouri, earlier that day.

After dinner, I drove through the rain, past  Kansas City and eastern Kansas, stopping for the night in Ottawa, and the southeast Kansas swelter.

The next two days would take me through more familiar turf:  northwest Oklahoma and southeast Colorado.

From Home to Home, and Back, Day 6: Crossing the Delaware to Washington’s Headquarters

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After a juice breakfast at Glick Farm, I spent about an hour or so, in conversation with Beth, David and their little nephew. The next stop on my itinerary was to be George Washington’s Headquarters, in Morristown, NJ.  I crossed the Delaware River with little fanfare and no illustrator on hand, around Noon.

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Having time to spare before visiting Penny’s parents in Pompton Plains, I was able to spend 1 1/2 hours at this small, but important, site in the annals of the War for American Independence.

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A guided tour of the Ford mansion, where General Washington stayed with his entourage during the planning and execution of the defense of central New Jersey, in  the midst of our nation’s struggle to gain independence from Britain, shows these rooms and scenes.

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Here is the exterior of Ford Mansion.

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Having done a measure of justice to this major site in the life of our first Commander-in-Chief, I headed to a visit and dinner with my guardian angel’s folks.

Next:  Day 7, A Guided Tour of Princeton

Spiritual Anchor on The Prairie

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I last visited Cahokia Mounds National Monument in September, 2011, when it was dusk.  This time, July 25, 2013, it was a bright afternoon.  The difference was palpable.  At dusk, there is a sense of the spiritual, the ephemeral.  In bright sunshine, tour groups and easily-spooked people, jumping when I walked by them, were all over the park.

No matter, this area is home to intense spiritual energy, which not everyone can handle.  It was built by an ancient nation of traders, and appears to be an array of tumuli, burial mounds.  Overlooking the scene is Monks Mound, across the highway from the main park area.

I spent about 40 minutes in the Visitor Center.

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A clockwise jaunt around the main park revealed several mounds.

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It was soon time to mount the stairs to Monks Mound. Here, priests conducted observations of the sky and presided over ceremonies, relative to the solstices, equinoxes and phases of the moon.

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There are some fine views of the surrounding countryside, including the city of St. Louis.

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To the east, there is a  fence, built by the U.S. Army, during the Trail of Tears, in the 1830’s.

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Finally, I visited Woodhenge, a mile west of Cahokia Mounds, and largely viewed as another place where the indigenous people could observe and measure celestial events.

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With this important site being offered tribute in both light and darkness, I crossed the Father of Waters, to St. Louis, and the Gateway Arch.

From Home to Home and Back, Days 4-5: Blazing Along to A Bustling Farm

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I left Memphis and headed east, along I-40, at a serious clip, stopping only to stretch and keep track of some communications that were important to me.  One stretch stop was Parker’s Crossroads, west of Nashville.

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I drove around a bit in Nashville, but disquiet kept me going.  I did stop, briefly, at Crossville, to check my messages at a community college, and was reassured that all was well, with a few very important people.  Knoxville, Bristol, Radford, Roanoke and Harrisonburg came and went.  I stopped in Staunton, where Sleep Inn and Rubber Ducky awaited.

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Thus, Day 4 of my current journey came to an end.

The next morning dawned cool and wet- no Shenandoah trek on Day 5, as my FB friends may recall.

I kept on going, to Lebanon, PA,

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to meet the first pair of friends, and the first of two back-to-back meals, at The Gin Mill.

Here are Sandra and Natalie.

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I had an hour or so of pleasant conversation with these two ladies, then headed south a bit, to Oley, PA and Glick Farm.

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The meal, prepared by Beth, consisted of Caprese Salad, Wax Beans/Ham and Potato Casserole/Homemade Root Beer.

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After dinner, we took a ride to Oley’s covered bridges.  One of them was sufficiently in light to be photographed.

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I was fortunate to have a nice country bed in which to rest the night.  Day 5 was quite the fine one.