Tag Archives: parenting

The Road to Diamond, Day 253: Relevance

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Family, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

August 8, 2025- Today is seen by some as a portal. Being the eighth day of the eighth Gregorian month is seen as conferring connection to other energy realms. I can’t say that I understand it all, but I have felt some extra spiritual strength today. Things that may have bothered me yesterday no longer have any bearing.

Well, there’s that. On an entirely different note, a young lady whose worldview is at variance with those of her contemporaries has stated that she believes a woman’s place is in the home. Now, I happen to hold the view that a person, regardless of sex, is free to pursue whatever calling that appeals to her/his strengths, interests and dreams. That means that a woman can pursue a career in astrophysics, truck mechanics, accounting, medicine-or homemaking. A woman could serve competently as President of the United States, or she could serve competently in raising eight children. She could also do both. Indeed, this same young lady is currently seeking election to the Arizona State Senate.
Now, she is still figuring things out, so it is perfectly fine, in my book, for her to express a desire to follow two different career paths. She could, alongside a dedicated partner, be a career government official AND an exemplary parent. Conversely, I have a good friend who raised an exemplary young woman, without any help from a partner. That may be the exception to the rule, but she is there for others to note. That same young woman, in turn, is raising two wonderful children-albeit alongside a devoted husband and father.

Family will always be a basic building block of society. Parenthood will never be irrelevant. Neither will following dreams, based on one’s innate skill sets and personal dreams, so long as those are beneficial to society, and not detracting from the upbringing of any child(ren) one brings into the world.

Devotion

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

July 14, 2024, Carson City- There is much that one does for love, in this life, that would not otherwise be on one’s personal agenda. Parents and grandparents most often know this. So do caretakers of disabled spouses or elderly parents. Teachers and coaches also do, to some extent, though their personal agendas are wrapped within their callings.

This goes well beyond the obvious things, like bathing and dressing those who are unable to do so for themselves, or watching small children who are playing outside, or in a public space. It extends to those who “hold their noses and play yet another round” of a game one finds tiresome or even irritating. It becomes, at its level best, an exercise in detachment.

Thus did a friend spend time with a beloved child. I joined them, finding actually a mild amusement in the game, which is more than a bit whimsical. Such is childhood, on occasion, and rightly so. There is more than enough preparation for adulthood that faces today’s children, and at an earlier age-despite what pundits and commentators say about delayed adolescence. There is that too, of course, and the rub is that someone has to be the mature decision maker and social actor. When an adult-even a parent-is in the midst of delayed adolescence, sometimes the child(ren) have to step in. I have seen this in a great number of cases, over the years. Children, in such instances, are out on a limb, and do the best they can-but they don’t have all the tools necessary to hold things together.

Grandparents are in a very special position. There are jokes made about being able to send the kids home, at the end of a day, but there is no love quite like that of Grandma, Grandpa, Nana, Papa, Nonna, Aba, Bump or Meemaw. It is, in its essence, a reflection of the deep love that is held for one’s adult children, that the thought of them not succeeding, of them suffering the injury or loss of their offspring is beyond the pale.

Being a grandparent in waiting, I understand this concept, and am glad to just be able to dote on those children and youths of other friends and relatives-until such time as my own grandkids arrive-and even then, devotion is unlimited.

Red Hearts, Not Broken

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, impediments, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

February 14, 2022- Short of being on a trail or on a journey of connection and observation, there is no place that I’d rather be than surrounded by the energy and ingenuity of youth. This is what keeps me going into schools, on occasion, over a year after official retirement. This, and continuing to notice the occasions when children and youth are treated in less than stellar fashion.

My own parenting skills were not A+, but there was never a time when Son was not loved and treated in a respectful manner, befitting his age. He was accustomed to hardship, during the time of his mother’s illness. He was still very much front and center, for both of us. It is thus, that Aram is a compassionate and loving husband, and should it be their wish, he and Yunhee will make loving parents.

The people with whom I spent the day, today, for the most part showed all the signs of being well-tended and loved. There are many reasons, none good, why people don’t show their children the love they deserve. There is one major reason why those who are worthy parents step up and raise their kids well: They themselves are grounded and have a clear vision of what the next generation, and the one after that, should be.

My siblings and I had that sort of upbringing, and it is with my gratitude that Mother is still with us and able to see her grandchildren-and great-grandchildren also turning out to be strong, forward-looking, compassionate people. Their hearts have not been broken, and I pray that remains ever so.

Likewise, I will continue to work to mend the hearts that are broken and keep the rest whole. The cliche is right: It shouldn’t hurt to be a child- or for that matter, to be human.

What Makes Me Proud

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Posted by on in Education, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

February 8, 2022-

What makes me proud of the man I helped raise? His work ethic, independent frame of mind, commitment to the well-being of humanity, love for his wife and maintaining self-care. What makes me proud of the young people I help educate? Their day-to-day enthusiasm, even when it is a bit loud; concern for one another and for the adults who show them respect; open-mindedness, even towards those whose beliefs seem antiquated; dogged pursuit of truth; gradual and steady outreach to those who are marginalized. What makes me proud of my community? The commitment to virtuous behaviour, even when it flies in the face of demands made by those towards whom some feel obligated to show fealty; the standing up for what one believes, whilst for the most part letting opposite points of view be openly expressed; the commitment to open space and increasing willingness to conserve resources. What makes me proud to bear witness to my Faith? It is based on the oneness of humanity; owning up to, and working to shed, prejudices and other flaws; independent investigation of truth, not dependent on group pressure or self-aggrandizement; the equality of women to men.

I am proud to be part of a world where the best among us work to empower one another, to show respect, even to those who disrespect us.

Father’s Day Weekend

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Posted by on in animal and plant life, Family, Travel

June 18-19, 2016, Chula Vista-

Saturday and Sunday were among the best, most bonding days I’ve had with Aram, in a good long while, which is saying something, because we are tight, for two who live such separate lives, in neighbouring states.

It comes down to parenting never being a work of completion.  I bounced things off my Dad, every so often, until he was no longer physically here to approach, for that purpose.  He still makes his views known, though, and I am finally at the point where I sense he is happy with my choices.  I can say the same about my pride in my son.  He has established himself as a valued presence, though his current position is not his life’s work.

Saturday was a day for errands, so we went to the recycling station, which is actually not  from his place, contrary to what their website says. We also found a Michael’s, for some frames he needed.  I was pleased to have found one that fit an off-sized print he had.  Filippi’s, one of my A-List restaurants in San Diego, has a branch in Chula Vista, so we hopped on over there for a sandwich lunch.

Sunday was a scorcher, all over the continent it seems.  I got reports from friends in Ontario, in Florida and in the Midwest, of horrible temps.  We nonetheless enjoyed a forty-five minute revisit to Japanese-American Friendship Garden, in Balboa Park, with a concert featuring the world’s largest carillon pipe organ, in the background.

Given the heat which most people reading this endured yesterday, I present you with various scenes of running water.

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The bonsai exhibit is an exception, but it endures with minimal watering.

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Aram’s birth sign is water.  H2O has always been his friend.

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Here’s a nice view of the Lower Garden pond, which opened in July, 2015.

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The water filters along rocks, carefully placed along the downslope.

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This mallard was more than glad to stand in pose.

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Close your eyes, and imagine Old Japan.

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Rocks and flowing water are staples of the Japanese garden.

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Small cascades invite one to splash about; though that would be bad form.

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Lilies are more common here, than they were a few years ago.

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Just how deep are these rocks?

We were suitably inspired by the water scenes, to head straight for the Jamba Juice, in a Chula Vista shopping mall, near the harbour.  Copious amounts of refreshing liquid are always welcome to both our palates.

Dinner was, of course, a buffet- at Zorba’s Cafe, with all my favourite Greek dishes.  This time, though, we both “made do” with about half the offerings.  Less can definitely be more.

I will go philosophical in my next post, which is the 1,000th of this website.  Scenes of the Cardiff-by-the-Sea beachfront, and of San Elijo Preserve’s western lagoon, will help in this effort.  Stay tuned.

The Road to 65, Mile 27: The Finest of Yules

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Posted by on in Personal goals, Social

December 25, 2014, Vail, AZ-

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When I finally got my phone plugged in, this evening, and was able to have a decent conversation with my mother, we each agreed that the other had done a good job of parenting.  We also gave credit to our now departed spouses.  The finest gift one could ever get, regardless of the occasion, is consistent love from a parent.

Some say it’s the parent with whom one shares gender, who is the most crucial influence in life.  I found the influence of both to be critical to my survival and happiness, over time.  I know Penny valued both of her parents, and her father loved his three girls, with all the paternal ardor he could muster.  Penny poured her heart and soul into raising our son, as did I.  What sparked this in my mind, was seeing a photo of a young man playing a video game on his phone, with his two daughters very close to him, and looking very glad that their Daddy was with them.

People can do all sorts of things that are positive, with their children.  Most of the messages I have received from people today about their family time, yesterday and today, have been positive and full of gratitude.  There are a few tales of conflict and strife, mainly from the victims of selfish and unhappy parents.  Those tales pain me, especially when I think of how much my parents did to make our lives joyful, and I know it wasn’t easy for them, a good many years.

I spent a marvelous Christmas Eve and Day with a couple of wonderful friends, just east of Tucson.  This is the first day in a while, that I don’t have a boatload of photos to unleash on you, my faithful readers.  Just know that enjoying a meal prepared by a woman who can barely eat anything, is worth all the buffets in all the casinos of the world.  Eating fresh-baked biscuits, as is, was one of the best breakfasts ever. My friend and I went out for lunch, he hoping to find a Chinese buffet.  We found a small place which prepared off the menu, and did even better, meal-wise, than we might have at a buffet.  The relaxation that I enjoyed the past two days was a huge Christmas gift.

So, too, was speaking with my Mom, after all these years, one of the best friends I could ever want.  She doesn’t feel old, and that does my heart fabulous.  Hope a fine Yule was had by you,but if not, look to the New Year.  Sometimes, Happy can’t be summoned within a given time frame.