Tag Archives: reflection

Reading the Room

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 4, 2025- While mostly enjoying a gathering this afternoon, I got the sense that two of the higher-ranking people, in the group with which I have been involved, were not exactly thrilled with my decision to leave the area. A mutual friend said that was off the mark and that the management is actually supportive of my decision and is happy for me. One of the administrators hugged me before leaving, so my reading of the room was not quite on point.

One of the things that has indeed held me back, over the years, is a difficulty in reading people. I came to the conclusion, a while back, that oftentimes when I sense hostility or dislike from someone else, it is more a matter of how I am feeling about myself at the time. Many, if not most, people are neutral-to-supportive. Very few, actually, are hostile-and even if they are, the question begs, “Do I reflect something they don’t like about themselves?

I went to another gathering, this evening, putting these ideas to the test. A person who I previously had considered hostile was actually quite agreeable, jovial. Most of the people at the gathering were engaging and took an interest in one another. I felt at home, and recognized that any tension inside myself right now is likely processing the matter of leaving a place that has been home for fourteen years, and a state that has been home for all but six of the past forty-seven years.

It’s best to let the feelings flow, and know that all will be well, in the weeks to come and in the years that follow. I am getting better, at reading the room.

The Road to Diamond, Day 22: Fortunate Language

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 20, 2024- Today was the day of least light, in the Northern Hemisphere. Solstice, now recognized in its global sense, was also the day of most light, south of the Equator. Either way, Solstice is a day of reflection. Each of us, in this day and age, is accountable for our own behaviour- and no one else’s.

When I was an adolescent and young adult, my behaviour and its accompanying language were intemperate. There is much for which I have had to atone, though fortunately nothing that merits civil or criminal justice. I never hurt anyone physically, or impaired anyone’s good name. Still, once committing on my present spiritual path, I let go of several habits and the accompanying tendency to use profane language.

Many people, even some in my Faith community, regard profanity as part of free speech. That is true, a person may speak in a manner that expresses her/his mood, sensibility and belief-even that which is momentary. My own take, though, is that a person can find words that express emotions, from joy to exasperation to sorrow, that are accurate, and are intelligent. Profanity is just plain unfortunate. It only adds a layer of insult to the exchange-and the insult is actually a two-way street.

I was once prone to admonish people about excessive use of profanity. Now, though, it is just white noise and does not convince me that the speaker is in any way right. Speaking only for myself, I would rather get my listeners to understand the cogency of my words. There is no cogency in cussing- unless the purpose is to convey anger or exasperation. Even then, are there not other words, which can make the point as well, or better?

Solstice is a day of reflection.

Reflections By A Small Pond

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving

June 24, 2019, Crossville, TN-

SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURES

I have had a good long while, both in the company of my friends here and when alone, to ponder my relationships, my reactions to things that have come my way and my sense of how the course of civilization is moving.

I am in a steady state right mow, a bit tired, but still lucid.  I look at this pond, and see a solid ring of vegetation around it.  I see a goodly number of several species of birds.  That means the insects, seeds and nuts are prolific.  There was a Great Blue Heron that flew by the window, about an hour ago (It’s 8 a.m., CDT).  There don’t seem to be any deer around, this year, and only a few coyotes have been spotted.

These things tell me that the land is calling for quiet.  My friends can be quite vociferous, inside the house, but are calm and at one with the environment, when outside-other than running a lawnmower, once a week or so.  There are runoff issues that need to be addressed-by the wider community. Readers know my position on this:  I used no chemical sprays at my Phoenix and Prescott house and refrained from using them when I was maintaining the grounds at the apartment, as well.

I don’t throw noxious substances at my friendships, either. I feel it is best to go with the flow, almost as if I were water.  It is also a good idea to put oneself slightly behind others, in terms of meeting needs.  This has meant devoting more energy to friendships, which makes some people uncomfortable-“Why are you so concerned about ME?”  On the other hand, there are those whose interests in friendship are strictly financial assistance or 24/7 involvement. I feel for such people, but I haven’t that sort of energy, nor do I have unlimited resources.

I have said, recently, that I am single by choice, these past eight years.  That’s just where I am, emotionally, psychologically and aesthetically.  I won’t apologize for it. Just know that I am more able to do what my spirit guides tell me, in meditation and reflection, without taking on the day-to-day needs of one specific person, or another.

That said, this place could very easily, with the consent of the friends here, be my place of refuge.   I would do my share, and then some-but that’s all down the road a piece.  There is someone, not that far from here, who could easily be a person of interest to me, so to speak.  That would also be a few years hence.  My little family’s needs are also, as I keep saying, a major factor.

I have had some vivid and somewhat unsettling dreams of late, which I will describe in a few posts form now, as they have specific contexts.  Until then, the road will once again unfold, in a few hours.

NEXT:  Where Chattanooga’s Choo Choo Won’t Go

 

 

 

 

What I Keep With Me

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Posted by on in Family, Inspiration, Spiritual, Striving

September 30, 2018, Prescott-

I stayed home, most of the day.  Only a breakfast with fellow American Legionnaires and a trip to the laundromat, took me outside these four walls.  It was a day of reflection, lots of reading of blog posts that were inspirational and a lot of thinking about what lies ahead.

I know that I will work for at least the rest of this academic year, though some have warned me that health is an issue.  I am taking proactive steps, in that regard, because not being a nuisance to my family and friends is a top priority. Also, I am useful in my current post- and will provide continuity in the next academic year, if certain other personnel changes occur.

There will be changes in my family, also.  Therefore, I need to maintain a flexibility, with regards to 2020, and beyond.  I can’t say anything specific, just that my heart is delighted with news that I have received from some family members and solemnified, with the status of one of my in-laws.

Today would have been Penny’s 64th birthday. I got past the maudlin renditions of the Paul McCartney song, and pondered all that she still gives me, on a daily basis, in terms of insights and guidance.   So, I keep her with me- the small cameo photo, that goes on road trips, the framed photos and small 3 x 5’s that are prominent in the living room and the wedding photo that remains in the bedroom.  I keep her thoughts and her feelings about things we discussed, sometimes argued but never let get between us, for more than an hour or so. I keep her smile and her gentle singing voice. I keep her undying love.

The Fast: Day 5- Patience

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Posted by on in distraction issues, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Striving

March 6, 2018,Prescott-

The realm can try and exhaust, one’s patience.

In times of light and darkness, though, patience

is exactly what must be summoned.

Some young ones push their elders,

and one another, to the limit.

Others are pushed to their limits,

by their elders.

What does one do,

on a day of fasting,

when challenges are tossed about,

like water balloons?

It becomes meditation time,

reflection upon the whims and fancies

of his own youth.

Seeing the way forward

to be one of forbearance,

he returns from the meditation time,

that supplants lunch during the Fast,

and vows to neither be tested

by others or be a test to them.

The Fast: Day 4- Forbearance

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Posted by on in Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 5, 2018, Prescott- 

We give and receive a fair amount of unpleasantness in this life.  My usual response to scowling and irritable people is to get through the encounter, with a minimum of retort, if any and to minimize my contact with them in the future.

This may be a good survival tool, but it is not what will bring about unity.  I have thus made a fair effort to welcome such people, when they have crossed my path, over the last few months, and at least hear their story.

Some others have been forbearing with me, over the years, and I appreciate that, as it’s never been my object to discomfit or cause harm to anyone.  When I have managed to make a mess of things, reflection brings to mind this intense song. https://groovelily.bandcamp.com/track/lightning-the-tree

DISCLAIMER:  I never hurt my late wife, unlike the character in the song.  I am merely referring to the concept of thoughtless behaviour, in general.

What’s In Our Words

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Posted by on in Personal goals, Social

November 24, 2014, Prescott-  This is, for an educator, the shortest “work week” of the academic year.  Most schools have two days, before Thanksgiving break.  It’s also my birthday week, and this year, I turn 64 on the day after Thanksgiving.  People are given to calling that day, “Black Friday”, as its sales receipts are supposed to put retail businesses “in the black”.  A sad trend has some stores shortening, or foregoing, the Thanksgiving holiday for their employees/associates.  One retail outlet even refers to the most important family holiday of the year as “Black Thursday”.  Shameful, this.

Words matter.  I have had the tendency, much of my life, to be “in the brain, out the mouth.”  I could blame this on my autism, and it is probably what has caused this series of  faux pas.  My late wife spent the best years of her life coaching me out of this emotional trough.  Discretion and sobriety were the most valuable gifts she imparted to me, through three decades of steadfast love.  I have stumbled and bumbled on occasion, in the three years, seven months since her passing.  Good people have been hurt, and I have done myself no favours with these missteps.

The purpose of life, though, is to transcend.  We overcome pain, move out of  false comfort zones, learn new skills, make new friends and often keep the old.  In all of this, a successful effort brings one closer to the Source of all life.  I am slowly on the upward path, with my beloved spirit guide urging me on, in matters large and small.

Our words ought to represent reflection, thought, and most crucially, love.  What comes from our mouths, our pens, our keyboards can either build or shatter.  So, while it’s a fine thing to be ever honest, in our dealings with those near and far, it pays to remember that no one really wants to be shattered, knocked down or left out.  Honesty and kindness are not mutually exclusive.  Have a fine Monday, my friends.