Tag Archives: tempestuous

Sixty Six, for Sixty-Six, Part XXXVI: So Fleeting, It Is

17
Posted by on in Inspiration, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 23, 2017, Prescott-

I have felt a lot, welling in my heart, today. Sitting on the floor, after hours, keeping a little boy out of harm’s way, whilst waiting for his guardian to arrive and take him home, two of us encountered his simplistic view of things:  If he were only allowed to, he would run after the bus, in stocking feet.  Somehow, he knew the bus would be late, and it was; but guardian was already en route.

This is our clairvoyant child, who warned me not to think of a new friend of mine in a romantic way.  I would not have done so, anyway, but he had no way of knowing my heart- or maybe he did see a hidden danger lurking.

It has been a tempestuous month:  Two deaths of friends, one expected; the other, a bombshell.  Both brought communities together.  An aged mentor, to many of us in my Faith community, went back to God, last Wednesday.    Then, this week, a colleague in the Red Cross passed on, after a serious illness.

Now comes Manchester.  A young lady of considerable, as yet unrealized, talent, sought to bring the joy of her dance hall style of music to another generation of youth.  A crazed and puritanical misfit set out to destroy her efforts.  The resulting carnage will live in my heart, for a long time.

Some in my circle have taken to responding to me, of late, with curt, businesslike replies.  Others, are acting as if we’ve never met, in the first place.  Life is fleeting, so why not friendship and connection?

It’s often said, that if you love something, set it free, and if it comes back, it is yours.  If not, it never was.  So, my friends and family are always free to come and go.  The spot they have in my heart will still be there, should they come back.  This is life, and it goes on.

No Idea

11
Posted by on in Inspiration, Personal Values

May 11, 2016, Chino Valley-  I went up here, today, and will again tomorrow, to fulfill a promise I made, before getting the long-term assignment at Prescott High School.   It gives me a chance to continue the friendships I was fortunate to establish, before leaving the little school, just before Christmas.

I have thought a lot about what my place actually is, in this tempestuous time.  All my life, quite honestly, I have felt good about putting other people ahead of myself, and have not suffered as a result.  This continues; my own needs are actually minimal.

Occasional melancholy creeps in, and I think of those I love, intensely, even in my own family, who have no idea how to love me back.  I have to remind myself that there are others, whom I have not loved back.  Part of the grieving process, for me, at least, has been keeping something of a lock on my heart.  When I have unlocked it, and reached out, it’s most often been at the wrong time, toward the wrong person, and BAM goes the hammer.

It’s a circular logic, I know, that has to stop with me.  So, I make an earnest, solemn vow to renew the commitment to having no expectations of anyone, other than myself.  It’s a process, and can be a rewarding one.  That, alone, is what gets me up in the morning, and keeps me looking forward to the next chapters.