“Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.”- Ann Landers Love is something that everyone experience at least once in their life. It is a feeling that […]
via A Thing Called Love — Mental Stimulation
ME: This is a repost. I see a lot of people tossing around the greeting “my love”, and not meaning it in the least. I take my friendships and feelings towards others, very seriously, very deeply. Think about this, people. Who are you helping, or hurting?
My second Fasting Saturday featured the usual early big breakfast, and later in the morning, a visit to Farmer’s Market- important, since I missed last weekend, due to my tax return preparation. That gave me enough food for the next three fasting meals. I went to Ms. Natural’s, in early evening, and bought the last of Claudia’s Hungarian mushroom soup, to take home of course. Wild Iris did not have a paint night, this evening, but I did break the Fast there, then headed back to Home Base.
Living alone gives me a lot of time to spend in either contemplation or in fantasizing. I much prefer the former. There is simply too much to be done, and a lot of it is in specialized, precise activities. I need to know how to meet each challenge, head-on. Fantasy entertained me, in my loneliness, but never got me far.
So, with the aid of various fasting meditations and reading so much that is inspiring, here and elsewhere, I enjoy this time of looking at matters from several angles.
Yesterday was the official International Women’s Day. I was in the company of my two beautiful co-workers, during the day. Both have men in their lives, who are luckier than either woman might sometimes suppose. As an aside, it occurs to me that every day should be Women’s Day.
My mind today, the last day before Spring Break, has been on fidelity. Faithfulness is the mindset, and chastity the outcome, of a person who feels fidelity, loyalty, to another human being.
I was faithful to Penny, all those years. There were times when other women would flirt with me, and she made it clear that we’d all get clobbered, if they kept it up. She needn’t have ever worried. I wasn’t going anywhere. The proof of that became clear to her, when we circled the drain together, those eight years. I stayed close; kept hope alive. I guarded her from those whose sole concern was getting their hands on what little money we had. I spoke up for her when an emotionally clumsy male nurse made her cry.
Since I’ve been back on my own, my fidelity has been to friends and to my charges. Some get it; some don’t. I have a friend, whom I have at times regarded as my best friend, who has adopted a distance, ostensibly for reasons of our differences in spirituality, which are in truth, basically semantic. I respect that distance, and stay away. Most of my friends, even the most emotionally needy, know full well where my loyalties lie.
I spent this evening, with a few such people, in the comfort of devotional drumming. We used Baha’i Scripture and prayers for this, but there are many traditions. Here is the Indian drummer, Sivamani, accompanying a Hindu woman in song.
As I anticipate my 50th High School reunion, later this year, here are some tips that I can say ought to be very useful for those now in the throes of study and examination.
One of the main features of this period of time is the occurrence of mental and emotional tests. Many of our tests come from the emotional baggage we carry with us. A tool that the Fast provides us, in overcoming these tests, and jettisoning that baggage, is detachment.
Physically, those between 15-70, under the circumstances I described in Part 1, face detachment from food, drink and all the activities which feature them, during the daylight hours of Fast days. This evening, whilst attending an American Legion Post monthly meeting, I purchased a light meal, as is customary prior to such meetings, and secured it in a to-go box, for after sundown, and the meeting’s end.
There are, of course, far more basic and deeper-seated matters which can be and are, brought to our consciousness during the Fast. I am facing one, right now, which I will describe later, when the time is appropriate. I am determined that, this time, I will cast the baggage aside. It stems from events in my life, over 50 years ago, and had been buried these many years. Now, it’s just time to put the demons to rest. Good people, besides me, will be the better for this.
Today was a day of surprises. Both of my co-workers called in sick. The three peer tutors rose to the occasion, leaving their cell phones on silent, and devoting themselves entirely to their charges. I was entrusted with the guidance of the two substitutes. The day was, despite the unsettled beginning, remarkably smooth.
I was expecting a marathon evening meeting, with a full agenda and intense, prolonged discussion. The chair of the meeting wisely moved everything along, and we actually ended an hour early.
There are rewards that come with steadfastness, staying the course, in time of the unexpected and knowing, deep inside, that this, too, shall pass and that the world just keeps on its path.
We give and receive a fair amount of unpleasantness in this life. My usual response to scowling and irritable people is to get through the encounter, with a minimum of retort, if any and to minimize my contact with them in the future.
This may be a good survival tool, but it is not what will bring about unity. I have thus made a fair effort to welcome such people, when they have crossed my path, over the last few months, and at least hear their story.
Some others have been forbearing with me, over the years, and I appreciate that, as it’s never been my object to discomfit or cause harm to anyone. When I have managed to make a mess of things, reflection brings to mind this intense song. https://groovelily.bandcamp.com/track/lightning-the-tree
DISCLAIMER: I never hurt my late wife, unlike the character in the song. I am merely referring to the concept of thoughtless behaviour, in general.
“Noble I made thee, wherewith dost thou abase thyself?”-Baha’u’llah, The Hidden Words.
Many, the world over, believe in Original Sin, the notion that we were born with the sin of Adam and Eve wrapped around our necks , like an albatross of legend. I could get into that whole After the Fall thing, but I have much else to do today.
What I believe is this: Christ took care of people’s guilt over the Fall from Grace, by sacrificing His earthly life. His point was, and is, we are absolved. We have always been absolved. A poster from the ’70’s says “I know I’m somebody, ’cause God didn’t make no junk.”
We are noble. We are made in the image and likeness of the Creator-in terms of attributes, in terms of spiritual qualities.
“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations
and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.”
―Bruce Lee
The biggest disappointments in our lives are often the result of misplaced expectations. This is especially true when it comes to our relationships and interactions with others.
Tempering your expectations of other people will greatly reduce unnecessary frustration and suffering, in both your life and theirs, and help you refocus on the things that truly matter.
Which means it’s time to…
* Stop expecting them to agree with you:-
You deserve to be happy. You deserve to live a life you are excited about. Don’t let the opinions of others make you forget that. You are not in this world to live up to the expectations of others, nor should you feel that others are here to live up to yours. In fact, the more you…
