Where We Go

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on May 20, 2023 in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 20, 2023- I met a second cousin only once-long ago, at a family Christmas party. He could not have been more than three years old. Time passed, he became a grown man, most likely a father-and even more likely, did his level best at an honourable line of work. I can’t say for certain, because he died prematurely, a few days ago. His father, who survives him, has done his level best, in an honourable line of work, so there is a lot of hope in that regard.

I have no way to contact my cousin, but if that changes, I would say to him that. in addition to condolences, I know that he was a good parent, as was his wife. We can sense such things from a distance, even with people we never see or hear once separate paths have been taken. We can always tell, knowing even a small amount about struggles and triumphs, how a person’s life has gone, in general.

Today was spent preparing the grounds and buildings for a series of camps that will begin on June 2. The team that I will lead is to provide logistical support for those guiding groups of up to twenty youth or pre-teens. The guidance is not dogmatic, but is moral, ethical in tone. The young people, for the most part, come from disadvantaged families and neighbourhoods; yet they do have a capacity for learning discernment. It is that discernment that changes lives, communities-and even nations.

Where we go in life depends largely on the choices we make. Those choices only work to our advantage, if they are made with discernment, with information, with honest assessment. I am willing to bet that my departed second cousin lived well. God rest his soul.

Delayed, but Not Frayed

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on May 15, 2023 in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

May 15, 2023, Sacramento-The message came to me in an e-mail, on Saturday, that a certain post I had held for the past six years was being filled by someone else. It’s a routine rotation, if you will, and no reflection on what I did well or not, as a volunteer.

A check of Amtrak’s Sacramento to Seattle and Portland schedules showed that they were booked solid, or were exorbitantly overpriced-an imbalance of Supply and Demand. What this means for me is that I head back to Home Base, sooner than originally planned. My ties to the Northwest are not frayed-the visit to friends up there is merely delayed.

Strengthening connections to Carson City was a priority, so this journey has not been wasteful-no travel ever is. I am likely heading back in late July, because one of the angels is to be in a play, around then-and supporting her is second nature. That jaunt and the trip back East in September, will of necessity be auto-centric, after all. There are matters that cannot easily be tended with train or Uber, and rental cars are once again either scarce or exorbitant, as new friends found out yesterday and today.

The day itself was a fairly easy train ride back to Sacramento and a toasty, but not unpleasant, walk back to the hostel-largely empty tonight, except for three staffers, two women who are staying in private rooms and me, holding down the fort in the “mixed dorm”. That’s not bad, as I got ot jump around a bit, during a friend’s ecstatic dance Zoom call, and tend to some over-the-phone planning, relative to October’s Southeast Asia outreach.

The biggest thing that I learned about myself, these past six days, is that no amount of planning or anticipation is more important than treating each person and each community, with whom I have ties, as any more vital than all the others. Some activities, meetings, visits cab and will get delayed, but ties need not become frayed.

Oh, well-for tonight, I am comfortable and happy, in HI Sacramento’s quietude.

Moms and Hearts

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on May 14, 2023 in children, collaborating, Community, Family, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 14, 2023, Sparks- The young girl was all expectation and delight, as she left for an afternoon of cooking and honouring a friend’s mother. Three hours later, the same child returned to her home, crestfallen, on the verge of tears. Her grandmother, who had hosted us for a lovely Sunday dinner and watch party, took her place by the girl’s side, on a couch. My friend and I left, with quiet wishes that all would be better for her soon.

Another child, cousin to the girl mentioned above, is expectantly planning to be in a play, later this summer. Her mother and grandmother are carefully arranging the participation of various friends in supporting her efforts-and she expressed the hope that I will be there, when the play is staged, in late July. The women will remind me, though that is not necessary, for a child I have long regarded as a grand niece.

A mother who joined a virtual meeting earlier today was philosophical about not being able to see her family, as both she and her husband are in the late stages of recovery from COVID, and are waiting for final clearance from their physician, before taking a chance on visiting any loved ones. Her poker face fooled no one. She is no doubt in constant communication with both children and grandchildren, and will give them all they need of love and attention, in a fairly short time.

Mother’s Day was born in 1870, with the mothers of those killed and maimed, from both sides in the Civil War, coming together to seek healing, both for themselves and for their families, in the wake of the most horrific conflict this nation has ever seen. While the second Sunday in May has now largely assumed a festive air, there is still the basic element of heart sharing, in the course of the day.

My own observation of Mother’s Day is muted, to outward semblance. Mom doesn’t answer her phone, so sending her greetings and a small gift is all that physically transpires. from my end. We have a strong spirit connection, though, so that when I do manage to connect with her, in conversation, she will happily let me know that she felt blessed today. She will also be able to tell, by the sound of my voice, how I am doing, on that day. It has always been thus, between us.

The love of a mother, and of a grandmother, is the bedrock for just about anyone’s functioning, through life’s ups and downs.

Rising, and Being Raised

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on May 14, 2023 in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 13, 2023- The objections offered by the woman sitting in the next room, to the Disney versions of classical children’s stories, which her child, grandchildren-and yours truly were watching, were cogent and well-taken. A woman does not need a dashing man of means to swoop in and solve her problems. A human being does not need another, more “superior” human being to decide how life’s difficulties may be overcome.

Those problems and difficulties are best solved by the person facing them, though they are NOT always to be resolved by one soul, singly and alone. There are reasons why we have issues to overcome and there are reasons why we encounter the people we do, including the parents, children, siblings, friends and adversaries in our lives. Each person has something of value to impart, even if it comes in the form of a challenge or setback.

A couple of times today, I found myself admonishing the little boy in the house I was visiting-a place where I am regarded as a brother and as an uncle. His well-being, and that of his sister and cousins, is of great importance to me. So, I speak up, sharply when needed, and calmly the rest of the time. My lesson, though, was to remind myself that his understanding of life is limited-he’s only f our years of age, and controlling impulsivity is a work in progress. Still, keeping the little one safe from physical harm is a duty of every person older than he. Guiding him to not harm others is also a major concern.

There is a further consideration here. Each of us, in addition to (hopefully) raising the young people around us, is also raising self. Parents and nearby adults (again, hopefully) do the best they know how in raising us. The job is not complete, however, when one reaches the age of 18, 21 or 25. Most of the heavy lifting, from those milestones of maturity onward, falls to the individual soul. We can, many times, consult our elders on a continuing basis, but the final choice is our own.

I learn something new about my remaining challenges, both ongoing and novel, each and every day. How I deal with them, what I choose to do, is not on anyone else. I’ve never been Prince Charming, and have never known a Fairy Godmother, or a Sleeping Beauty. The joys and sorrows that have come from each of the friendships and familial ties I have known, though, are more than enough to inform what I need to do, going forward.

If I can offer the same to the children in my life, that is all that is needed.

Their Joyful Freedom

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on May 13, 2023 in "sibling-ish", Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

May 12, 2023, Carson City-

“What we have here, is a failure to communicate”-Strother Martin, Cool Hand Luke

The seemingly forlorn young woman remained holed up, in our shared Mixed Dorm room, speaking briefly, when spoken to, but not offering much, in the way of information about herself. She was functioning and while not outwardly fearful of her two male roommates, had clearly been through a bit of trauma somewhere else, and recently.

The little girl was chatty with her mother, and with another woman, who was from China and who conversed through a translation app on her phone. She went back and forth to her grandmother, in the next car of our train from Sacramento to points east (mine being Reno) and was a kind big sister to her toddler brother, when he got sick and vomited- to which their parents tended, without making a big scene. The family was friendly, but were a self-contained unit. They considered, and politely declined, offers of help from me and from the Chinese woman.

The Turo automobile renter apologized profusely, when his wife took the car I had rented from them, and went to work, returning about ten minutes after my appointed pick-up time, and having put a full tank of gas in, on her way back. While we waited, he told me of the struggles that face both the fast food industry and the truck stops that house many such establishments, as mergers and AI make decisions that are out of whack with reality on the ground. The representatives of High Management are “shocked” to discover that the lay-offs and budget cuts, which their overlords demand, will actually serve to make things far worse, as staff is frequently already at bare minimum.

The two winsome pre-adolescent girls stuck together, brought an issue to the motel owner’s attention and looked after me, while I was checking into my room, later remarking to one of their other friends that they thought I was “special”, though I barely said much more than “Thank you” to one who had picked up a dropped item. The group of children later gathered in a small play area that the owner has established where families can relax and where children can safely enjoy the fresh air.

My extended family, here in Carson, communicated their plans to me, via their matriarch’s texts. It sounds like a delightful two days, as always. We spoke a lot, back and forth, about how essential unconditional love is for children and how that love is most always passed on to the next generation, as well as how it can be brought into the lives of those whose lives have been hell. The woman I call my spiritual sister has raised countless foster children, her two adopted children and her natural-born daughter-and has been a rock for her grandchildren of two generations. Communication has been her staple.

Communication once came hard to my autistic self, but as the love that has always been in my heart overcame the reticence that consumed my mind, connecting with others has become an essential part of being. With Artificial Intelligence and more distant decision-making, often based more on incomplete information and wildly overblown assumptions, being de rigueur, even the most seemingly banal texts and IMs have assumed essential status, in order for the right thing to happen for the good of the order.

Miscommunication can be a snowball going downhill. It is our lot, to prevent it from becoming an avalanche.

Takeaways from Last Watch, 22-23

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on May 10, 2023 in children, collaborating, Community, Education, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

May 9, 2023- The call came fairly early, yesterday, as I was en route to Sedona, in caravan with Yunhee and her mother following close behind. The need was for someone to cover three or four classes, for an hour or so in each. Much of the work would be transitional, getting the children from one class to another-and some light monitoring of work in between. With today being unscheduled for anything else, I said yes.

There were no “bait and switch” elements involved. I have a reputation for not taking kindly to such tactics, though being reasonably flexible is part of any substituting activity. So, when asked to help the playground staff for part of the three hours I would have otherwise been idle, I put on sunscreen and went down to the field and the fun zone. A little girl showed me her rather well-executed cartwheel, which generated others to do the same. A mixed group of 5th and 6th graders played kickball, with rules that were quite a bit looser than I remember, but it was all peaceful and I saw some strong displays of athletics. All in all, the kids did what was expected of them, and most of the staff were appreciative.

I will be off on other pursuits, during what remains of the academic year. Autumn will see me back, for as many days as I can be available-working around Mom’s birthday milestone (September) and a visit to a teenager whom I am sponsoring, in the Philippines (October). The latter was approved by the agency, this afternoon. One must not depend on investment income and retirement funds alone. Besides, it’s mostly enjoyable to be with the children.

Tomorrow evening, the train will depart Flagstaff, for Los Angeles, then point north. Life continues on a most even keel.

All Places Matter

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on May 1, 2023 in children, collaborating, Community, Historical, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Striving

May 1, 2023- The curious students watched us from a short distance, as the Logistics Lead and I worked with their school’s Maintenance Chief, to assess its readiness as a Red Cross shelter, should the need arise, particularly in the event of an active fire season.

Seligman is a small community, known best to Route 66 aficionados, for its small stretch of motels and restaurants-especially the former burger and soft ice cream establishment: Snow Cap, which Juan Delgadillo opened in 1953. His brother, Angel, ran a barbershop in town, as well. Since Juan died, in 2004, his family has kept the restaurant open. Angel has now retired, but still may be seen around town. There are also colourful cafes like the Roadrunner, Road Kill Cafe, and West Side Lilo’s, a diner. The latter is my favourite of the lot.

Red Cross is definitely concerned with having a shelter here, in the northwest corner of Yavapai County, because of its distance from the more populated areas of Prescott, Chino Valley and Williams, to the east and Kingman, to the west. There are two First Nations reservations, Hualapai and Havasupai, not far to the west of Seligman, and their residents would depend on a reliable shelter, in the event of fire or flood. To our relief, the school appears to meet the major criteria for such a purpose-with any adjustments for disabled residents fairly easy to provide.

We are coming to the collective realization that all places matter, in this shrinking world. The Delgadillo brothers put Seligman on the map and we will do our best to maintain the community’s awareness of its value.

Casting the Burden, and Grasping It

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on April 25, 2023 in Assistance, children, collaborating, Education, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 24, 2023- The intrepid boy sang his way through five pages of three-digit addition problems, doing two pages, then taking time for his Specials class (Music, of course) and returning to work the rest of the lesson. He hit upon a method, which I’ve seen people use in “Swing Mode”-the approach to working through a given task by using rhythm and movement-that engaged his whole body in accomplishing a task that might otherwise have been seen as drudgery. Indeed, his regular teacher was amazed at the progress, initially crediting me with inspiring the child to work in this manner. In truth, I had nothing to do with it. Whatever unseen influence prompted his motivation, it was a godsend. There are many ways to cast a burden and the way that works best for an individual should be decided by him or her.

Conversely, another child has held onto his issues and setbacks, as if they are a perverse security blanket. This child accomplished little, despite an intellect that is outwardly superior to those of many of his classmates. There are, I am told, concerns with the apathy of his parents, which would certainly raise a red flag. None of us enjoys being ignored, especially by those whom we should expect to trust the most. Getting attention by clutching onto negativity is behind far too many of the issues that bedevil our communities. Then, too, there are all the intrapersonal dynamics that inhibit or dissuade the seemingly oblivious adults, in the life of a troubled child, from taking up their inherent responsibilities.

This was the last day of my assignment, and once again, I was thanked by the team for not charging in and rearranging the system according to my own predilections and whims. I do prefer to let established teams continue with what works, whether the group be a Red Cross operation, a Farmers Market activity or a well-oiled team of educational paraprofessionals. Treating people, of any age, as dignified beings who have a fair idea as to what they are doing, tends to have a good effect on their operation. The mentally ill or abused/neglected tend to need more structured support, and for a longer time than others, but it is still advantageous to note what they are doing successfully and build upon it.

Only by increasing the circle of security, can a person reasonably be led to cast a burden and free the self. That requires attention and discernment.

Growing In The Retro

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on April 21, 2023 in Assistance, children, collaborating, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 21, 2023- The kids were disappointed that the lady who graced the room with her presence, in every sense of the word, yesterday, was not able to join us today. There was a frenetic energy, as the crew tried an exercise that had only been used once before. We more or less made it work, with only one minor hiccup between a therapist and one of the students. I let the child know that disrespecting adults, as well as classmates, was not an option.

The rest of the day was several of us working over old ground-and welcome to the Mercury retrograde! It long ago stopped being an excuse for me to not work on myself. Shedding old barriers to growth was a seasonal exercise, for decades on end, but I kept trying. Nowadays, it seems to finally be taking hold. The physical manifestation of this has been my weight inching downwards, to 176 lbs, with a visceral fat index of 12-down from 25, eight weeks ago. A child whose eye level is at my abdomen still sees a baby bump, but that, too, will fade, with continued effort.

The sole remaining psycho-emotional task that needs work is my perception that people of intellectual bent, in a group in which I am taking part, are continuously discounting my input. There is a way out of that trap, and that is to remember that once I make a comment or suggestion, it is no longer mine. It belongs to the group. The same, actually, is true of the cerebral person’s rejoinder or glib dismissal. Sooner or later, the group as a whole will sift through, and be able to discern the truth of a matter, from among all the comments.

Still and all, it is most reassuring that so much personal growth is happening, along with the reassurance from others that used to be spotty at best. I am beginning to see that my own lack of self-confidence was like a kick-me sign, all these years. Now, in late middle age, that dearth is fading.