Whose Toilet?

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on January 14, 2018 in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 14, 2018, Prescott-

My day will likely be a joyous one, with my spirits telling me to get the laundry done, attend a memorial service, then either go and help my dear friend, or go hike in Granite Dells, if she is not in the mood for company.

Now, back to the title question. I was discomfited, annoyed, put out at the tale coming out of the White House, as to our President’s purported comments, regarding immigrants and their countries of origin. Either he said these things, thus committing a serious breach of comity OR his actual words were translated to fit the opinion of the observer towards the President, thus committing a serious act of calumny towards him.

Either way, I have to say this, about countries in general: Each has its places of sublime beauty, and each has its places of squalour. This is as true of the USA as it is of Haiti. It is as true of France, Germany, the UAE, as it is of Liberia, Guyana or Bangladesh. I have seen exquisite, serene villages in Guyana and decrepit, unsettling places in France. No one who has been across our great nation would deny that there is astonishing beauty in Yellowstone, the Grand Canyon and the Great Smoky Mountains, whilst admitting that there is much work to be done, in addressing the matters of homelessness in cities large and small, in raising up the standards of living in First Nations reservations and in run-down sections of both urban and rural areas, across the continent.

No one likes to have their good name, or that of their country, sullied. Some will argue, “Well, if the shoe fits, wear it!” If that shoe has a hole in it, I would gather that the person has every right to decline its adornment. Far better, in my view, that, having shone the light on the filth and the problems, the President, and each of us who has looked down their noses at a person, community or country, should put down that flashlight and ask, “How might we help?” One immediate thing we can each do is, stop referring to the shortcomings of a people, as their be all and end all. Acknowledge the beauty of a place, or of a society, instead of yammering about how horrible SOME aspects of it happen to be. Messes happen, even in the finest of communities (just ask anyone in Montecito, CA). Beauty and strength, likewise, may be found anywhere. How about building on that beauty and strength?

Ice Cream

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on January 11, 2018 in collaborating, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Striving, Travel

January 11, 2018, Prescott-

I ended my work day by being reminded that today was the 11th, after a fatigue-based brain fart. That gave rise to the inevitable concern from Lead Teacher, about the onset of dementia. Umm, no. I was tired, exhausted. I know tomorrow is January 12th.

Now, on to the reference in this post’s title. On the podcast, this morning, one of my mentors was accenting an aversion to success, using ice cream as an analogy. If one were to go up to a counter, see a flavour of ice cream that appealed, and was asked what would be your preference, and then dithered, thinking about whether one deserved ice cream at all, even while knowing that thousands of other people enjoy ice cream, each day, what would that feel like?

I have long dithered about enjoying life. I have long felt that I did not deserve success, even having a hard time accepting, initially, that Penny found me attractive. I have come to the conclusion that it was my autism talking.

The fact is, she DID find me attractive. I was not the dregs with which she had to make do. So, we had our ups and downs, for 29 years, but they were years of love. I have been amazed at finding myself in places like Neah Bay, downtown Portland, San Francisco’s Russian Hill and Fisherman’s Wharf, Paris, Versailles, Utah Beach, the Dom Sector of Frankfurt, Iolani Palace, Bruges and Sitka’s Mt. Verstovia. I really DID walk the length of Prescott Circle Trail and Black Canyon National Recreation Trail, albeit in sections. I am amazed, also, by the beautiful lady who now calls me friend.

So, all those bowls of ice cream later, I am looking at a huge sundae, and preparing to nibble a spoonful at a time. I have spoken of giant steps being on my horizon. I still need to convince myself that I am not the family’s hood ornament, or an appendage to the two-woman team in the classroom where I work. It’s these very giant steps that will do this, for me. The mentor cautioned us to not falter. I won’t, having come all this way.

Giant Steps Continue

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on January 10, 2018 in collaborating, distraction issues, Education, Personal goals, Personal Values, Striving

January 10, 2018, Prescott-

I am finding time zone differences

are the muck that is

complicating

my giant steps.

Doing two jobs at once,

until the end of March,

albeit for a short fifteen minutes,

in the morning,

could be a bit messy.

Good thing my day job supervisor

is agreeable

to my giant steps continuing.

Reading List and A Full Plate

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on January 7, 2018 in distraction issues, Fiction, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Striving

January 7, 2017, Prescott-

My best friend and I had a wide-ranging conversation, yesterday, about inner peace, among other things. She suffered a loss, recently, and the subject arose about those who blame others for their pain and suffering. Neither she nor I blame anyone but ourselves, if things go sideways in our lives. I love her dearly, but if she bid me farewell tomorrow, I would go on, and figure it wasn’t meant to be, for longer than it was. On the other hand, I am glad for every minute of our friendship, and will treat her like royalty, as long as it lasts.

Those of us who are blessed by the Universe tend to have a mighty full plate. I was informed today about another responsibility that my fellow Baha’is would like me to assume. My financial education continues, work resumes tomorrow and I still like to read as many of the posts on my Reader, as humanly possible. Exercise remains important. I will also make time for M, when she needs me. So, the schedule remains, 4:30 AM-10 PM, 6 days a week, and a “sleep-in” until 5:30, on Sunday.

My winter reading list is also present, to fill in the “gaps” in my day: “Cash Flow Quadrant”, by Robert Kiyosaki; “Facing Grief With Eyes Wide Open”, by Medea Bavarella Chechik; “Tribe”, by Sebastian Junger; “Winter of the World”, by Ken Follett; “Footloose in America”, by Bud Kenny; “The Elegant Universe”, by Brian Greene. That should last until March 21, or 31.

We were talking, at a meeting today, in Phoenix, about how people often assume the young and the old have lots of time on their hands. I can’t speak for the kids, but there is joy for me, in choosing to maintain a full schedule.

Reason and Rage

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on December 31, 2017 in distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal goals, Striving

December 30, 2017, Spring Hill-

I was scolded, a while ago.

Someone is furious,

that I said people who

learn from their mistakes

are winners.

Let’s revisit that one.

Everyone learns.

I am sometimes a slow learner,

my lessons might be repeated,

a dozen times or so.

Yet, I do learn.

I do, eventually, win.

That ought to satisfy

my enraged reader.

Year-End Reflections, Part 6: Risk and Delivery

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on December 29, 2017 in collaborating, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal goals, Personal Values, Striving

December 29, 2017, Spring Hill-

I have consolidated a couple of small holdings. Being well-insured, it is a small risk, that will take care of obligations. Historically, I have taken several risks, both great and small. Some, like an early involvement in stem-cell therapy, for Penny, proved to be of no benefit, and considerable loss. Others, such as my low-level involvement with do Terra Certified Pure Therapeutic Grade Essential Oils, have given me long-term health benefits.

I have been roundly excoriated, a few times, for failure to deliver on my various projects. What I’ve learned from those failures, is that I went forward, without having understood all the ramifications and possible barriers to success. The lesson of 2017 is that, despite the mistakes I’ve made over the years, which have long lowered the opinions some family members and past associates have of me, I am still a worthwhile human being.

I have gained many friends, this year, as mentioned earlier. Friendships are never without risk, loss being first and foremost. Some online friends have drifted away, or become distant and standoffish. That will hardly keep me from being devoted to those who remain, or from making still more friends, in the days and months ahead.

As 2018 glimmers in the not-too-distant horizon, I sense there will be a cash flow, either from the source I described yesterday or from somewhere not yet evident. I will be a bit more cautious, and not drawn in by glamour or exuberance of others, yet neither will I shy from risk.

Fear of failure, or of scolding, is a thing of the past.

Dancing With Reality

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on December 19, 2017 in Community, distraction issues, Personal Values, Social, Striving

December 19, 2017, Prescott-

My comments, of a few days ago,

regarding relationships seemed stark to some.

They do have a flip side.

It was not my intention to pigeonhole women in any age group,

nor to automatically “friend-zone” anyone. ( I hate that term, anyway.)

Reality for me, at the edge of 2018,

has several very positive aspects.

On my present job,

I face the possibility of violent outbursts,

on any day or at any given moment.

These are never personal, and our team is well-equipped to handle them.

The positive aspect of this is that we are well-supported,

internally and system-wide.

We also know what the triggers are,

and can be proactive.

Outside of work,

I have my Faith group,

several friends from

the wider Prescott community

and so many,

across the nation

and the planet.

Revamping my blog,

as I will mention again,

in my year-end recap,

has brought hundreds of new

friends- and a few critics,

to my world.

There are those,

towards whom I feel close,

who are quite skittish,

and dancing with reality

requires that I approach

them, with carefully-chosen

words and actions.

This dance is complicated,

but it is breathtakingly

joyful!

Further Reflection

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on December 13, 2017 in collaborating, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Striving

December 13, 2017, Prescott-

Baha’u’llah tells us that each soul expresses a grain of truth. In the past several days, there has been much discussion, largely initiated by single men, regarding the push for gender equality.

I have responded to some of the posts and been somewhat rebuffed by the authors. My take, essentially, is that people should not be limited in their pursuits, their dreams, their achievements, by traditional gender roles. My identity as a man does not stand or fall on whether a woman, friend or not, can change a tire, rebuild an engine or run a Fortune 500 corporation, as well, or better, than a man could. My identity as a man does not depend on whether I have a lady on my arm, even as I find many women strikingly lovely.
I must, however, agree with some of the men who have posted. A human being’s relationship with any other human being is based on trust. Women and men are equally capable of maintaining trust, and are equally capable of violating trust. I have been in a couple of situations where I was the breaker of trust. That I was going through episodes of grief, in each case, does not excuse my behaviour and I have apologized, done as each person violated has asked, and moved on. In my friendships, over the past three years, I have been far more discerning and attentive to trust issues.

No one is entitled to respect, based on gender alone. Respect comes from maintaining good character, and that includes being trustworthy. A man had girlfriend begged off of their scheduled date, saying she didn’t feel well. She was later found to be having dinner with another man, that same evening. She said it was her prerogative, as a woman. Well, balderdash! She reaped the fruits of that choice, which was an end to her relationship with Man A.

There is an argument, making the rounds, that women prefer men who are coarse, who will rough them up if necessary, or at least be selfish and disgusting. My take on that is:

Such a woman is fundamentally looking for someone who is hard enough to perhaps safeguard her from the coarseness and meanness of the wider world. A nice guy makes a good friend, so the saying goes, but a mate must be willing to be a brute. My attitude is that a nice guy must also be strong in the face of adversity. Brutishness is a perversion of strength.

I practice goodness towards people, in general, but my mother did not raise any wimps. I stood up for my wife, as she did for me, and we stood up TO one another. I am loving, nurturing and supportive of my female friends, but the last time I checked, none of them needed a doormat. I am in their lives on their terms, and they are in my life, on mine.

The bottom line, in all this discussion, is PEOPLE need to be humane and considerate to other PEOPLE. PEOPLE should be strong and reliable, in the eyes of other PEOPLE. If a woman doesn’t respect a man, and vice versa, then what’s the point of their relationship? More basically, if one doesn’t think he/she deserves a strong, reliable, trustworthy mate, then he/she won’t find one.

Jenga

Posted by Sagittarian Seeker on December 10, 2017 in Community, distraction issues, Inspiration, Striving

December 10, 2017, Walker, AZ-

I attended a Christmas gathering at the home of a senior Red Cross volunteer, this afternoon, in this small forest community, ten miles southeast of Prescott. It was just a relaxing time for volunteers to recap the year and share stories of their various deployments, across the South, Puerto Rico, the Virgin Islands and California. After a couple of hours had passed, with goodly amounts of food and drink, and people began to head out, the host brought out a Jenga set.

This inspired these thoughts:

How sturdy is a house of loose blocks?

How many pieces can be removed, and from which part of the structure, before the edifice comes tumbling down?

Is there careful planning, as to demolition?

If so, what plans are there for something to take its place?

How high can such a structure be?

Does it really matter who lives in it, or even who owns it?

A lot of life is like Jenga.