Category Archives: Inner Struggles

The Summer of the Rising Tides, Day 63: Mental Health

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

August 2, 2020-

It turns out that the individual who torched the Arizona Democratic Headquarters, over a week ago, is mentally ill. Republicans, and others, who read only the part about his being a member of the Democratic Party are, predictably, chortling about how this just goes to show that it’s a big farce, orchestrated to bring down President Trump-because, hey, what else is there in the world?

The individual is mentally ill. I know, firsthand, how that feels. Everything is about “MEEE”. Imagined slights take on a reality that knows no bounds. Good people become viewed as monsters-for any number of reasons-most of which are contrived by a mind in pain. So, it came about, that an individual acted to destroy that which he deemed inperfect, and, thus, expendable.

There were all those times, in my distant past, and in more recent years, when autism led to the bouts of self-centeredness, mild delusion and not a little paranoia. It took a good deal of self-work to separate my mother’s high bar of expectations, itself grounded in love, from the blistering criticisms of some of my peers, who left no room for error-or in a few instances, even humanness. Through meditation, correcting my diet, my wife’s love, and adoption of a Faith that actually lived the love prescribed by Jesus the Christ, but ignored by so many of His followers, I achieved a sense of equilibrium.

There have been relapses, and setbacks, mostly in times of high stress. There are those who were present during those times-and who remember, all too well, how things went down. I am grateful that forgiveness, and securing my word that such behaviours will not be repeated, were their responses.

Conversely, I have striven, when confronted with other mentally-ill people, to do right by them. In one case, the person was able to get a leg up and straighten out his life. In two other cases, that was not the result, as of the last time I heard from either one. I felt the need to cut one loose, for personal safety reasons and the other, because of an increasing stridency and level of verbal harassment on his part.

It’s taken time to begin to overcome the tension I have felt, when seeing a small, older model of RV driving around or when starting up my phone, and getting more than one Instant Messenger “ping”. Realizing that these are left-over post-traumatic reactions has helped greatly.

I am ever grateful to all who have, either consciously or unconsciously, helped me put my own demons to bed. In all this time of relative aloneness, I have been able to soothe those ills, and make myself a far more useful person, amenable to this comforting society around me.

The Summer of the Rising Tides, Day 60: Hermanator,Derailment and An “Inside Job”

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual

July 30, 2020-

Herman Cain died this mornng, the victim of , apparently, the after effects of Coronavirusdisease 19 on his vital organs. He was, by all accounts, a still robust man. This underscores the reason for every one of us to continue to take this NOVEL disease seriously, and consistently so.

COVID-19 is infecting some high profile people, across the political spectrum. Microbes do not care who you are, or who you think you are. “The Hermanator” was a colourful human being, a pizza magnate who, at one point, thought he might make a fine President of the United States. His worldview was not my worldview, by any means, yet his death diminishes us-because he was, in essence, a man of love.

Now, as his family and friends mourn his passing, let those who were with him, at the event which likely was the scene of his infection, take stock of their own health-as we all must.

This news just added to the residue of yesterday. Early Wednesday morning, a loaded freight train, passing through Tempe, Arizona, went off the rails. The friction set the wooden bridge, over which the train was passing, afire. The bridge collapsed, several cars tumbled off the bridge and into a vacant park. Some other cars hung from the edge, over a major parkway.

Fortunately, there was no loss of life, and the sole injury was to the train’s conductor: Smoke inhalation. Police and fire crews responded swiftly, spectators who were in harm’s way were removed from the area and the few joggers, walkers., cyclists and boaters who were at nearby Tempe Town Lake had the good sense to stop their activities and head for home.

This was the second derailment on that bridge, in little over a month. The first one, on June 27, was underreported and it is not clear whether Santa Fe Railroad, which owns the bridge, even had plans to address the issue. Now, they have no choice.

The larger question, as with bridge collapses in other places, over other rights of way, is: How widespread is this issue? How many other railroad bridges, across the country and across the planet, are outmoded, decrepit, unsafe? It is time for ALL rail companies, not just Santa Fe Railroad, to start assessing the tensile strength of their bridges.

Finally, the matter of the torching at Arizona Democratic Headquarters, on July 26, has an update: A registered Democrat has admitted, nay, BOASTED, of having set the fire. This was not aimed at framing conservatives or alt-Right people, as some had speculated. The perpetrator is a mentally ill man, who has a recent history of making delusional statements and excessive demands on certain people, including the Chair of the Maricopa County Democratic Party, which also had offices in the same building.

The investigation, of course, is ongoing. As is this day, which will, among other things, feature the unsealing of some of the documents pertaining to the case of alleged sexual predator, Ghislaine Maxwell. July is far from over.

The Summer of the Rising Tides, Day 59: The Ties that Bind

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

July 29, 2020-

It is easier to mend connections with people through acts of integrity, than by insisting on that which injures their feelings and ignores their perceptions. So it has come to my banishing memes and shared posts, which have only served to confuse some of my online friends, while not exactly elucidating my own views.

A personal blog, or social media page, can’t really serve as a marketplace for ideas. That role is for the comments section, which is hopefully governed by rules of civil discourse. I have set such rules for my other social media site, and, only on two instances have I had to delete toxic comments which got past the Akismet filters on this site.

My focus is, more than ever, on fostering the ties that bind us. One commenter on my other site recommended that we all view differences as diversity, rather than as divisions. Seeing nuggets of commonality takes a great deal of self-discipline and patience, not often evident in times of widespread confusion, such as these. Yet, it remains that this sort of vision is the only way we can, as a species, get out of this confusion.

Our strands of Dioxyribonucleic Acid are the most basic tools we have, for keeping us tied. Let us look to those DNA features that are common, that lead to our shared esperiences and visions.

The Summer of the Rising Tides, Day 56: Defiance

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

July 26, 2020-

Defiance is not just a city in Ohio. There comes a time when an individual must stand up and say, even holler, “No more!” There comes a time when a community, a society, a nation-even a planet full of people, must stand up and say with one voice. “NO MORE!”

After sitting in my home base apartment, most of yesterday,and responding to those with different takes on the murder of Bernell Trammell and the stabbing of Drew Duncomb. Unless and until these acts of violence are given the weight of investigation they warrant, there is, as BLM members say, “No justice, no peace”. Ditto, for the burning of the Headquarters of the Arizona Democratic Party-and I would say the same for any torching of Republican offices.

I have begun reading “Democracy In Chains”, by Nancy McLean, and am learning of a clever and insidious campaign, inspired by the life’s work of the misanthropic John C. Calhoun, initiated by one James Buchanan, late of the University of Virginia and George Mason University, and perfected by Charles Koch. Remember ALEC , the American Legislative Exchange Council? That was, and maybe still is, part of the game plan. Take power away from the common people,the reasoning goes. ‘Power belongs to those with money, with investment capital. The hoi polloi have no idea how life should be. Why trust THEM?’

So we see Senator Mitt Romney, saying that Social Security should be cut, from the oldest senior to the youngest disabled person. I do not intend this as an ad hominem attack-but Mitt Romney has his. So does every other person who has signed on to the chaining of democracy.

I do not wish to take a dime, from those who have earned it-no matter how gargantuan their fortune is. In turn, no one gets to take a dime, from me and mine. I pay my taxes. I pay my rent and utilities. I honour my debts. I give to those in need, as best I can, without becoming one of them.

So, the defiance starts there. It continues:

I honour the health protocols recommended by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, with respect to wearing a clean, well-fitting mask, when in proximity to other people; when standing in line and keeping a six-foot distance. On my own, I am not leaving the State of Arizona, barring an emergency, until mid-October-at minimum. I draw the line at taking a vaccine whose contents I do not know. That is a fight for another day, though. Immunity to a disease may be accomplished through rigourous holistic health practices: Organic diet, maintaining vitamins, minerals and essential oils; drinking alkaline water, regular deep breathing. That is my immunization plan, for the foreseeable future.

I will not bow or kneel to an ad hoc authority- no matter how well-armed, no matter how loud the voice, no matter how “popular”. I am an American citizen who follows the rule of law-not of any man, hiding behind interpretation of law. I am a World Citizen, who obeys codified law, wherever I might be.

So, no one gets to order me to stay home. I have eyes, ears and love in my heart for the people. I will know when it’s safe to leave and where it is safe to go. I don’t need to kowtow to anyone’s fear.

No one gets to order me to believe a certain way. I have my undying Faith in God, through the teachings of Baha’u’llah, al-Bab, Mohammad, Jesus the Christ, Moses, Gautama Siddhartha, Zarathustra, Krishna and Whoever founded the pure, initial forms of Wicca, various Native American beliefs and African faiths. I have my undying respect and love for conservative and progressive, alike. Those who savage one another, based on ideology, are being duped and are on a fool’s errand, with no ultimate winners. The only “winner” in this case, will be one whose mindset is founded on lies.

I will not bow to a puppetmaster-ANY puppetmaster.

Namaste and Godspeed.

The Summer of the Rising Tides, Day 49: Following Through

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Spiritual, Striving

July 19, 2020-

I binge watched Season 4 of a Turkish scifi show, called “The Protector”, after completing a project proposal for someone who has great ideas, but who was finding it hard to get started.

The central character in the series, Hakan, had super powers, which he ascribed to certain talismans. He was engaged in fighting a team of demons, one of whom had achieved economic primacy, in the city of Istanbul. The protagonist had his helpers, who experienced their share of doubts and pain.

Two of the demons were more complicated characters, being primarily motivated by emotional pain at feeling betrayed. The lead female antagonist, Valeriya/Nisan ended up being my favourite character, purposely botching the demons’ plan to take over the world, then covering herself enough to avoid suspicion from the others, while gradually learning the truth behind the trauma that had led her to the Dark Side. In the end, her true Light Nature won out.

Following through is always the best course, and as the seeming torture of this year’s transitional events grionds on, it is up to those of us who can see the light at the end of the tunnel to take up the front of the struggle.

The Summer of the Rising Tides, Day 45: The Ebbtide and the Altar

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Posted by on in Community, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

July 15, 2020-

I had to pull myself out of one of those funks which occasionally hits, this morning. By mid-afternoon, the ebb tide had turned around, and I found that making a small altar with my ferns, singing bowl, ceramic dolphins, metal whale, small Hopi pot, crystal and small angel had the calming effect that turned the emotional tide in the right direction.

It is never true that people are turning on me, though I used to let that illusion overtake my sense of equilibrium, in earlier days. It is always my inner voice that throws out the aspersions, at people who are just facing their own tough times.

My greater Faith will always be in the Creator, so this place of solace, in my living room, serves the same purpose as a nook in the woods or a soft place in the desert. No matter how long this mix of disease and chaos persists, I will navigate and persist.

The second half of July will find me doing much the same as I’ve been doing, since June 7: Home Base, to downtown, and back, from one Zoom call to another. Life will remain sweet.

The Summer of the Rising Tides, Day 43: Be Not Proud

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Posted by on in Family, Historical, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

July 13, 2020-

In 1949, John Gunther wrote an account of the decline in health, and passing, of his son, Johnny. I read this book, “Death Be Not Proud”, in 1962, at the age of 11. It has informed my own attitude and reflections towards the transition of people from this life. My father also read it, and it informed not only his attitiude towards death, but the ferocity of his devotion to us, his five children, especially to his youngest, Brian, and in facing my youngest brother’s disabilities.

The book’s message, of indomitable courage and ferocity, in facing life’s worst challenges, came to mind today, with news of the passing, yesterday, of the actress Kelly Preston, after a two-year battle with cancer. This evening, I learned of the passing, late last month, of a maternal second cousin, after an EIGHTEEN-YEAR battle royale with the same disease. Neither woman lacked the slightest bit of courage and dedication to things far greater than herself. Both were sterling champions. I kept looking at one or more of Penny’s photos, as I prayed for the departed souls. My beloved fought a thirteen-year battle of her own.

Death is any number of things, but one thing it is not- is surrender. I am convinced that every person who has ever faced down danger or disease takes the strengths acquired in the struggle, right along with them, in transitioning to the next series of adventures. I am also convinced that the soul sends clarion calls to those left behind-to remember the struggle and apply the lessons learned, that they, the remnants, and this, the world left behind, can rise and truly shine, brighter than ever.

“Death, be not proud (Holy Sonnet 10)”

John Donne – 1571-1631

“Death, be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadful, for thou are not so;
For those whom thou think’st thou dost overthrow
Die not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleep, which but thy pictures be,
Much pleasure; then from thee much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee do go,
Rest of their bones, and soul’s delivery.
Thou’art slave to fate, chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell,
And poppy’or charms can make us sleep as well
And better than thy stroke; why swell’st thou then?
One short sleep past, we wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die.”

The Summer of the Rising Tides, Day 39: Oppression

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

July 9, 2020-

The Baha’i world commemorated the Martyrdom of al-Bab, the Herald of our Founder’s coming and a Messenger of God, in His own right. Al-Bab announced His Mission, to a lone seeker, in May, 1844. Just six years later, despite having been incarcerated three times, in three separate prisons, by a fearful Muslim clergy and government, His followers numbered in the hundreds of thousands. In that sixth year of His Mission, on July 9, 1850, al-Bab faced a firing squad, in the main public square of Tabriz, a large city in northwest Iran. Accompanied by a steadfast young follower, named Anis, He stood with confidence, as 750 soldiers fired at Him. When the smoke cleared, Anis stood alone. Al-Bab was found, in a room in another part of the prison, completing business He had with another follower, which had been interrupted by the execution. Once the papers were signed, He went with the guards, back to the courtyard. This time, 750 other men stood in file, and fired. When the smoke cleared again, the bodies of al-Bab and Anis were fused together, and their faces untouched, and serene.

This has been corroborated by foreign emissaries, who witnessed the event, and had no impetus to weave a falsehood. As Christ suffered horrifically, at the hands of the Roman Centurions and the Sanhedrin priests, so did al-Bab suffer at the hands of the Muslim clergy and representatives of the Shah.

Oppression has ever been the lot of those whose existence is marginalized by those in power. This is true today, in a good many nations of the world, whether it be directed at African-Americans, First Nations people and cross-border immigrants, in nearly every country of the Western Hemisphere; at Roma people, across the European continent and in the Middle East; at Palestinian Arabs, in several west Asian nations-not just Israel; at lower caste people, Christians and Muslims in India, as well as Christians and Hindus in Pakistan and Bangladesh; at Dravidians and Black First Nations people, across south Asia; at non-Bantus, across sub-Saharan Africa; and at those not of the Han nation, in China, at non-Burmese, in Myanmar or those not Javanese, in Indonesia. Australian First Nations people face an uphill battle in their country, as do Maoris and other Pacific Islanders, in New Zealand. Whites in South Africa and Zimbabwe find the tables turned on them, with a vengeance. Ainus in Japan, and “Negritos” in the Philippines are still struggling for acceptance.

There are those who want to turn the tables on conservative Christians, in this country. This reflects poorly on those taking that stance. I stand, now, for those oppressed, according to the historical record. This will not be addressed, or corrected, by counter-oppression. The conservative, for one thing, will not change his/her own behaviour, or opinion, by being subjected to reverse oppression. I will not stand idly by, if this happens.

We are all sacred beings, and the time to change our behaviour towards other sacred beings has drawn nigh.

The Summer of the Rising Tides, Day 34: Independence

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Historical, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

July 4, 2020-

This morning, as I stirred my brain, I noticed that someone had stomped away from this page in anger, over what apparently was my disagreeing with those who see things strictly in black and white terms. (No pun intended).

I’ve always marched to my own drummer, and have seen no contradiction between the fierce independence and love for tradition of the conservative and the unconditional love and inclusivity of the progressive. It’s always the extremists, the disquiet ones-often, but not always, self-centered and self-absorbed, who wheedle their way in and among those on both sides of the aisle-and sow doubt.

I don’t buy their wares. I personally share all four of the traits mentioned above. As I’ve mentioned many times, my upbringing made this second nature. There is a hole in my heart, right now, in feeling that each side, more than ever, feels shut out by the other AND is more than willing to “simplify” matters, by reacting in kind.

Regarding historical figures, I remind one and all that every person who has ever lived is a complex, imperfect and not universally-loved figure. Public figures are all the more subject to this. Abrahma Lincoln, for example, was as enlightened on the subject of race, as a Midwesterner of the mid-Nineteenth Century could be expected to be. He opposed the expansion of slavery into Kansas, saw that slavery was an organically dying institution in the North, and thus focused his Emancipation Proclamation on the Confederacy-both to crash its economy and to release people from bondage. We have no idea how Reconstruction would have played out, had he lived through his second term. Yet, those who rush to judgment point out his having said that Blacks would never be equal to Whites (Lincoln-Douglas Debate, 1858) was proof of his undying disdain for the Black race. The eminent historian Henry Louis Gates, Jr., however, leaves the door open, seeing the 16th President as being on “an upward arc”, with regard to his views on the subject. (“Lincoln On Race and Slavery”).

Here, for good measure, is also an assessment of his 1862 condemnation to death, of 38 (out of the 300 who were convicted) Santee Sioux warriors, in the aftermath of the Mankato Massacre. While not exactly sympathetic to their particular case, he was beginning to pay attention to the degradation being suffered by the Plains tribes. Again, it may be argued that he was on an “upward arc”. Then came Booth.

https://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/300-santee-sioux-sentenced-to-hang-in-minnesota

I maintain my own independence of both left and right, and seek only to grow further in the light. If I disagree with anyone’s baser points of view, it is for that reason alone. I love you all, regardless.

The Summer of the Rising Tides, Day 30: The Best Defense

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Spiritual, Striving

June 30, 2020-

In the sport of American football, it is frequently said that “The best defense is a good offense.” This has made its way into the legal profession, as well, and seems, unfortunately, to be widely applied in many areas of life these days.

When both sides are engaged in offense, with no room for discourse, the cacophony is exhausting. I recently stated that judgment, in its true state, was reserved for the Divine. A member of my own Faith roared back that, essentially, he had every right to judge someone whose behaviour was obviously reprehensible.

Well, no, he does not. The defensiveness that leads to viciously attacking another person is rooted, completely, in insecurity. The same is true of political extremism, right and left. It is also found in religious fundamentalism, which exists in EVERY Faith on the planet. Jim Morrison, of the Doors, once sang, “People are strange, when you’re a stranger. Faces look ugly, when you’re alone.” The problem is, the more one attacks others, the more s(he) is likely to savaged in kind. We see the Far Right (QAnon, etc.) claiming that the Left is a collective tool of the Fascist “Deep State”. We see the Far Left (Antifa, etc.) returning the volley against the current Administration. This back and forth is fueled, as well, by the inconsistencies and secrecy exhibited by both sides. Secrecy, outside of an individual’s private business, or military strategy, is rooted in insecurity.

I was raised by parents who taught there is always a grain of truth to what someone is saying. Acknowledging that one truth CAN be a way to help the errant person move away from those beliefs and sentiments that are problematic. No, it may not work immediately. It may not, in some cases, work at all. It is, however, something to consider.

The best defense is, actually, being in it for the long haul.