I went to see the film, “Wonder Woman”, tonight. Of course, it is a fantasy, and quite over the top, but it does raise issues of the reality behind female empowerment and of the dual nature of human beings.
The title character, being a super hero, born to a demigod, of a mortal human, has dual natures. She uses her strength for the good of the innocent and tempers it with the fully loving power of the human female.
There is an exchange, towards the climax of the film, between Wonder Woman and the film’s archvillain, in which she points out that humans are not, as he claims, inherently wicked, but rather are dual in nature. She makes it her mission to stand up for the goodness of human nature, while standing up TO the baser, destructive tendencies of mankind.
Here, art suggests life. I have, most of my own life, favoured a loving response, even to injustice, over one of violence. Toughness is sometimes necessary, in a tough world, but I was raised to choose such battles carefully. Yet, for being judicious and tender-hearted, in the Maine of the mid-1970’s, I was labeled, by people who were themselves quite weak, as effeminate and insipid. The Southwest has been more accommodating of a gentle nature, than the Northeast was, when I lived there, but I sense things are changing all over.
Each of us has a duality to face. So it goes, every day that passes with my having chosen love over fear and loathing, that a daily accounting brings a sense of having lived another one, in a successful manner.
I came here to do two things. First was to deliver a box of books and some food, to a loving, struggling young couple. An entry error on WAZE put me in central Phoenix, whilst their home was in a town several miles to the west. A phone call, a corrected entry and some help from the staff of the apartment complex’s leasing office helped get the job done. Husband is a mechanical innovator, and a true survivor. Wife is a sweet lady, and works tirelessly, as well. I am glad to see how far they have come, as a unit.
My second task was easier: Getting a document for my son. Since that included stopping at Romanelli’s Deli, not far from his alma mater, I was in the best of graces. A delectable sausage and peppers submarine sandwich and purified water set the rest of my afternoon on a good footing. Promise to self: Spinach and baby kale for dinner, tonight! The document was in hand, ten minutes after I filed my request, and the very professional Registrar gave me her business card, so that the process will be even more streamlined, still.
While tooling about my home city of ten years (2001-11), I felt a still aching pull on my spirit. The area in which I spent most of my time was where most of the day-to-day heartache occurred, and the west side was where Penny spent her final days. I know I have to root these feelings out, and not be shy about being in these parts of our blessed Home. There are many good people in the Phoenix area, people who loved us, and were hurt that I moved away. The pain, to me, comes from the anonymity of living in a large city, with so many people who came here to be anonymous.
Anonymity brings out the worst in many. The mentality seems to be: ” I don’t know anyone here, so why remember my manners?” This mindset is hardly limited to Phoenix, or to the Southwest. I’ve seen it elsewhere, wherever there are large numbers of “move-ins”. I tend to think of others, just because it gives meaning to my life. I’d sooner let a headstrong, overwrought person have a small “victory”, or two, if it: a) doesn’t cost me much, in terms of dignity and b) doesn’t give him/her a false sense of entitlement. There are many things in one’s day which are best let happen, rather than having an equally entitled “arbiter” step in and unilaterally make things worse. I trust in the conscience to kick into gear, more often than we give it credit for doing.
So, I feel pretty good about having come here, today, and it wasn’t all that hot outside.
This has been a grueling, yet vital, month. In retrospect, though, the transition that has arisen as one of the options I must consider, over the summer, has been bubbling up from the magma flow, for quite some time.
I am likely to hang on to this apartment, for at least the rest of 2017, although rents in this area tend to command 60-70% of the fixed portion of one’s income, thus making it essential to be able to earn one’s keep, above and beyond government checks. This is as true of “senior” apartments, as it is of the general housing stock. The other factor is that the chief of our department will need some time to sort out who should work in what capacity. Although this is hardly an employer’s job market, when it comes to the well-being of children, standards need to be maintained. This, I understand and support, while being one who poses no threat to any child.
All the while, as I mentioned to an online friend, in a comment, this morning, I am continuously building a network of solid contacts, across the continent, and abroad, so that, even if I am relegated to staying in legitimate campgrounds, in the not-too-distant future, I will be able to hold my head up, engage in acts of service, and earn my way. I had hoped that this would wait until I reached age seventy, but the Universe moves as it will, and we have to maintain some flexibility.
So, May ends, with me being halfway done with the task of clearing our overgrown back yard, and having been able to serve my Lord, in a few small ways. June beckons, starting with taking care of an important errand in Phoenix, combined with a small act of service. I will then complete the yard work; downsize my possessions; go to Hopi land, for a weekend visit; go to southern California the weekend after, on another errand of service; and toward month’s end, take part in a Baha’i Summer School, at Bellemont, west of Flagstaff.
May slogged along, though not for naught. June will blaze on out, and I hope to have some sense of accomplishment, when heading to Ventura, Santa Barbara, Carson City and cross country, after Bellemont.
In the interests of preventing further problems, for me and others, the chief of department has several questions, which she will raise next Wednesday. A lot of decisions with regard to children are made, based on second-or third hand information. There are specific program issues, personality clashes between adults (which do NOT take the children’s interests into account), and matters of style.
Memorial Day weekend has often been a time of deferring action, as there are many year end transitions that have to be accomplished, but people need respite. I once lived out of my car for the weekend, while a prospective landlord took time off. He, of course, blew me off on the following Tuesday, but I found a far better place in which to live.
This year brings a similar situation. The possibility of returning to working with a high school age population is still quite real, but will need to defer to the principle of rest, and to further discussions. My plan B is to be full-on with the Red Cross, though that will bring $0. Then, too, there is the option of moving into a less expensive community, and starting over. As I said, yesterday, quick, not dead.
I have felt a lot, welling in my heart, today. Sitting on the floor, after hours, keeping a little boy out of harm’s way, whilst waiting for his guardian to arrive and take him home, two of us encountered his simplistic view of things: If he were only allowed to, he would run after the bus, in stocking feet. Somehow, he knew the bus would be late, and it was; but guardian was already en route.
This is our clairvoyant child, who warned me not to think of a new friend of mine in a romantic way. I would not have done so, anyway, but he had no way of knowing my heart- or maybe he did see a hidden danger lurking.
It has been a tempestuous month: Two deaths of friends, one expected; the other, a bombshell. Both brought communities together. An aged mentor, to many of us in my Faith community, went back to God, last Wednesday. Then, this week, a colleague in the Red Cross passed on, after a serious illness.
Now comes Manchester. A young lady of considerable, as yet unrealized, talent, sought to bring the joy of her dance hall style of music to another generation of youth. A crazed and puritanical misfit set out to destroy her efforts. The resulting carnage will live in my heart, for a long time.
Some in my circle have taken to responding to me, of late, with curt, businesslike replies. Others, are acting as if we’ve never met, in the first place. Life is fleeting, so why not friendship and connection?
It’s often said, that if you love something, set it free, and if it comes back, it is yours. If not, it never was. So, my friends and family are always free to come and go. The spot they have in my heart will still be there, should they come back. This is life, and it goes on.
A Sagittarian Seeker 