It’s been quite a week, starting with a very intense forty-eight hours of helping a stranger, who has become a friend, to move into a new home. This whole experience put several things into perspective; The demons of my adolescence had to be put to bed, for good, over the LAST forty-eight hours. These were the nattering voices of “_________ is way out of your league”, “A loser like you couldn’t get out of the batter’s box with ________”, “Give it up and make do with so and so”. I had to sit myself down last night, and say it plainly “Gary, come on. We are talking about FRIENDSHIP here, not some wild and crazy emotional blow-out. Besides, where are all those hotshots today? Either they are stuck in humdrum marriages, are living just like you are, alone and searching, or they’re dead.”
The fact is I HAVE made a new friend. Yes, she is physically beautiful, but that’s NOT the main draw for me. This person is for real; no airs of pretense and no hidden agendas. It’s all about the company I might keep, the time we might spend together, the enjoyment of life we might share. I say “might”, because I still don’t want to be a nuisance. As much as I love being with her, I have to respect her space. So, I will wait, let her know, in little ways, that I think of her often, and hope for a call or a message.
I did not “make do”, when I entered into my first post-adolescence friendship with a woman. It turned into a marriage, and a darned good one, though it was stormy at times, and involved a lot of growth by both of us. Not all friendships between men and women, however fond they are of each other, become marriages. Certainly, my long distance friendship with a person in another state, which will last forever, is decidedly not romantic and will not translate into such. My newest friendship is just that, a friendship. I love her, and would do anything honorable for her, any time of day or night.
So, I have to be forbearing- with my critics, with well-meaning friends and relatives of my friend, who are just trying to look out for her, with those women to whom I am not attracted, but who still want my attention, with the men who ridiculed me, back in the day, and, most importantly, with myself.
It was a very intense week, last week. My new friend is recovering from all the stress. I pray for her, in that regard, and for her happiness. I am recovering from what I now see has been a long 2 1/2 years of emotional night, with false starts, blind alleys and strange interludes. M, I care for you and don’t care who knows it. I just can’t say it enough, and if I don’t see you, have a nice day and a good week.



























































































































































