Tag Archives: communication

The Road to Diamond, Day 270: Two-Way Street

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Posted by on in Assistance, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

August 25, 2025- As we made our rounds at a gathering, this morning, a newcomer to the group asked each of us how we came to our present spiritual path. Each of the members briefly did so, with me being last. As I mentioned my story, one of the other members launched into a loud sidebar. I stopped speaking until she was finished, then explained to the new member that this happens a fair amount of the time. If a member is not interested in what another member is saying, then there is interruption. She wondered whether it is due to so many being hard of hearing. Perhaps. I still adhere to Mother’s Rule # 1: Never interrupt!

I used to shrink in the face of louder, more forceful people. Now, I have learned that, without descending to that level, it is okay to gently, but firmly, speak my truth. There is no need to be boorish, but generally what I share with others is fairly well thought out. I have the right to operate on a two-way street of communication.

I pondered this further, this evening, after watching a woman explain in a TED Talk about her experience with three good friends, in which she was steamrolled by the the three, who got carried away with their own experiences and left her out of the conversation. She at first processed her annoyance with them, while alone in her car afterward. Then, the light bulb went on and she realized that the two-way street applied to her also. She could have asserted herself-and they probably would have given her their attention.

I think about nature, and vacuums, and personal responsibility. In a different vein, from the time I woke this morning, there were messages, questions and calls to duty. I put my social group slightly first, with the Red Cross call and my job interspersed with the time spent in the group. You guessed it: The phone rang, twice, and I took the calls, getting back to the group with a brief description of the situation, so they knew it was somewhat urgent.

In the end, the emergency fizzled, the crew I had assembled went home and I was able to answer the unrelated texted question very simply and concisely, which made the questioner happy. Most times, life is a two-way street. Other times, it can seem like a three-branched artery.

The Road to Diamond, Day 228: Simple Gets Complex

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Posted by on in animal and plant life, Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

July 14,2025- It was a sign that the day was going to see routine matters become complicated. The road scheme, in the neighbourhood where friend’s house is located, is under repavement, which means it is being dug up and will gradually get new layers of asphalt. As with any repavement in a close neighbourhood, there needs to be close cooperation and communication between the workers and motorists. I take care to make sure that there are no misunderstandings, so while a three-minute drive to feed the cats became seven, all was smooth.

Later in the day, I found that Soup Kitchen was laid out more like the Luby’s Cafeteria of old. There was twice the amount of fare available tonight, which was a fine midsummer’s treat for the guests: Three kinds of pizza, angel hair pasta with two kinds of sauce, two types of squash, two salads and a variety of desserts. I was the pasta and sauce person. The cleanup took a bit longer than usual, but the diners were most pleased. The line manager doesn’t always remember my name, yet she does know what I do, and is glad that I show up most weeks.

Back to feeding the cats, after Soup Kitchen, I found that the road work was winding down for the day, but it was still necessary to go slowly around heavy equipment that was being brought into position for tomorrow’s resumption of the work. Mundane tasks can become complex, at any time. It’s a good way to hone the skills of patience and humility.

The Road to Diamond, Day 66: Not The Same Old Stuff

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Education, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

February 2, 2025, Manila- It was hot here today. I am far from the cold hills of western Pennsylvania, so there is no anticipation about what Punxsutawney’s groundhog will “prognosticate” about the course of the winter. Ditto, with respect to the forecasting rattlesnake of the Sonoran Desert. I am in a place of never-winter.

February 2 is, at least for me, a day to wrestle with my own feelings of being “less than”. I don’t know where this subpar self-concept came from or who might have set it in motion. I know that some, on both sides of my family, struggled with their own self-worth. Growing up, and even through the course of my marriage, those closest to me were put off by my self-criticism, to the point where, on a few occasions, I was someone with whom they were “making do”, tolerating.

In time, I have learned that in order to counter such diatribes, I have to do more than tolerate, or make do, with myself. I am up front, with the person I love most now, about my struggles. Though we are far from sure as to which direction our friendship will go, she is far more understanding and supportive than many were in my past. Looking back, they had their own self-doubts and struggles; so, they could not be of much help.

On the bright side, our communication is much better than the channels I had with those I loved, in bygone years. So, despite my lingering misgivings about self, I know that those will not be fed from outside of me. K and I will be friends forever, and as with some others at Home Base I and across the globe, we will always have one another’s back. My self-concept will not get in the way of being here for others. I want what is best for those I love and that also goes way back.

Unlike Bill Murray’s hapless Phil Connors, in the film Groundhog Day (1993), I don’t have any need to loop counterproductive attitudes and behaviours, in order to achieve what I either think I desire or genuinely want. So, today’s sitting in on a group that was mostly speaking Tagalog was actually time well-spent, as hearing a language other than English, for an extended period of time, leads to internalizing the tongue. I found this to be true of Spanish, French, Korean-even Navajo, Hopi and Persian, to some extent. I can at least pronounce words in print, having heard them spoken for a time.

That is just one way in which my time here is proving to be helpful, on a personal level. I look forward to experiencing others.

The Road to Diamond, Day 7: Songbirds

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 5, 2024- I received a video from the Baha’is of Manila, showing their newly renovated Center. All of my concerns about a safe workspace for the caretakers and kitchen staff have been addressed. It is a great day!

A Filipino expatriate here in Prescott told me, at a gathering this evening, that his mother recalls people in Palawan, the western island of the Philippines, sounded like birds when they talked. It was in reference to people going to that island, from other parts of the country, and speaking in dialects that others could not understand-like different songbirds not knowing each others’ trills.

I thought of how this dissonance happens, even between people who speak the same language, with the same accent. When we hear things through our own filters, rather than what is meant by the speaker, it’s as if there is scant understanding. One’s sweet warbling can even sound like the squawk of a parrot, or croak of a corvid. It is often best to run what you heard by the speaker, to dispense with any possible misunderstanding.

In any case, there is no need for long-term schisms between people of good will, when clear communication can be maintained.

Progression

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 7, 2022- The breakdown of the common areas of our local Farmers Market took about ninety minutes, as it was my first time with the crew. This year, I have committed to more consistent volunteer work, and early Saturday afternoon is the least interrupted by other activities. Red Cross events, happening primarily during the week, are more touch and go, with substitute teaching and what few dental and medical appointments I have, tending to conflict with them.

Regardless of what choices one makes, though, the key to their being meaningful is clear, consistent communication and not making assumptions about when is a good time to communicate. I had occasion to check in with someone this weekend and found that the matter would have been better discussed earlier. Assuming the individual was too busy, I let slide, which was a mistake.

Another friend, of eleven years, is entering a period of great change in her life, and will likely need my assistance in a few months. Suffice it to say that the change represents stability, in a way that I have hoped for her, for a very long time.

Progression of communication skills, and the relationships that stem from and depend on them, is often a forwards, then backwards, process. We are seeing it in world affairs, in government, in commerce and between individuals. I learned a long time, ago, though, that communication, even-or especially-when difficult, is never something that can go backwards and forwards. It is essential to stay in touch, except in cases where communicating with a person, or group, brings forth a clear and present danger. Thankfully, that is not the case for me, with anyone, right now.

Perhaps That’s Why….

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Historical, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 12, 2022- “What we’ve got here is failure to communicate….”-Strother Martin, as Captain, in “Cool Hand Luke”.

I was raised to be clear in my communication with others, to not be ambiguous. As long as I have been faithful to that childhood teaching, things have gone quite well. I have, in all honesty, only been deeply, viscerally hated by someone, three times in my life. All three came from lapses of communication-either failure to listen, from stubbornness despite getting the message or from not being direct in my messaging.

I thought of this, while having lunch at a local diner, and hearing a familiar litany of complaints about our state’s leadership. It occurs to me that, while the goal of many is to increase inclusivity in the life of the community, the process is missing its target-either because the reformers are still playing the same zero sum game that got us into trouble in the first place or because they have something to hide. I am not much for conspiracy theories, so my money is on the former.

The zero sum gambit, in this case, is that conservatives have to give up something so that the historically marginalized, the cast-offs, can get what’s theirs. Zero sum games, whether played by the Right or by the Left, generate push back from those left out.

What if there is actually enough to go around? What if the problem is one of distribution, and not one of supply? The answers to these questions do not fall on the descendants of the enslaved, the small farmers, the overseers or the middle class townspeople. They do not fall to the First Nations people who were driven before the homesteaders, nor to the homesteaders themselves. They do not fall to the immigrants and their descendants. They fall instead to those who devised the system based on zero sum philosophy. Was their goal, is their goal still, to build a society that will primarily benefit the few? There are those who will freely admit that is the case, while chortling at how good their lot in life is, as a result. There are still others who nervously, even heatedly, deny any ill intent. Yet, those who are hearing them are not fooled. Some feel powerless; others feel a need to lash out and attack-even physically. Yet, there are those of us who see through all of it and know who the wire pullers are.

What we have here is failure to honestly communicate. The time when that tactic stops working is close at hand. People across the spectrum are learning to speak with one another, civilly and honestly. They are comparing notes and building plans that will benefit one and all, not just a few.

Perhaps that’s why we can trust in an optimistic view.

Stay With the Energy

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 12, 2022- Today was likely my last full day assignment for the 2021-22 Academic Year. A couple of half-days remain, the week after next, but with the year winding down, my focus shifts to Faith-based conferences, focusing on such themes as Building Vibrant Communities and Fostering Social Transformation; to making a commitment to cleaning out the remaining clutter in Home Base; to making my customary visits with friends and family and branching out to new areas.

The energy, which has been quite erratic, this Spring, is evening out just a bit. Though there are challenges each day, I feel more confident in meeting them, “in the moment”. Working with emotionally disabled special needs children can often feel like walking up a funicular, whilst carrying a sack of rocks, but it is one of those necessities in our society- at least as long as we struggle with the imperfect science of integrating the mentally ill into this mix.

Communication, never easy, is also subject to constant revision and repetition, as needs, moods and other conditions change, seemingly with the wind. Patience, forbearance and fortitude are certainly life-saving virtues! Still and all, this is a good life.

The Lessons

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Posted by on in collaborating, distraction issues, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 30, 2020-

As with any of Earth’s revolutions around the Sun, there were lessons I learned for the first time, this year and lessons that were re-iterated.

Among those learnings that were new:

There is no limit to the ties we can build, in communication, without ever leaving our respective homes. Zoom, Microsoft Teams, and media which will surely follow them, have made group communication across the globe exactly what humanity has craved, for centuries, a tool so commonplace as to be nearly as treasured as face-to-face contact.

The tools for healing are, increasingly, becoming available to individuals for careful home use. This year, in addition to do Terra’s Certified Pure, Therapeutic Grade Essential Oils, I have been introduced to Thrive and Lifewave, complementary to do Terra products and to each other-and most importantly, not at variance with the allopathic treatments needed by so many.

There is also no limit to an individual’s ability to discern truth for self. The availability of means to investigate both spiritual and temporal truth on one’s own has only become amplified, in this day of so many competing “systems of truth”. No one, whether progressive, conservative or anywhere in between, can simply vocalize anything that comes to mind, without it being dissected and verified. The days when people followed leaders blindly are coming to an end.

Among those lessons that were underscored this year:

No matter how dark the scenario appears, there is always a ray of light. All during the pandemic, heroes in scrubs have been tending to the sick and dying, heroes with microscopes have been diligently working to establish an efficacious cure and heroes who are both the first (police, fire, EMTs) and last (funeral and cemetery workers) have tended to the victims, without faltering.

We are one Human Race, whether each of us recognizes it or not. Aside from a handful of people who believe the tragic deaths of this past year were staged, (and even among some of those), the response to excessive deadly force and the overreactions of some police officers has been to begin to view even the most unsympathetic of people with an eye of compassion.

There are forces of nature which will be ignored at the peril of all humanity. Like it or not, humans are part of nature, and have little choice but to exercise due diligence in how we treat the Earth and its other elements. Increasing fire, water and wind activities will keep reminding us of this-with earth itself (quakes and landslides) joining in the fracas-possibly in ways not yet experienced-or perhaps not experienced within the present historical record. (Those who believe there were civilizations before the ones we recognize have not been uncategorically proven wrong.)

I am confident that Coronavirusdisease 2019 will be brought to heel, just as the Influenza of 1918, and its successor diseases, were. It will still continue to be an astonishing decade.

OverZoomed

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, Education, Entertainment, Family, impediments, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Technical stuff

December 10, 2020-

The spread of teleconferencing during this time of worldwide pestilence is probably the single most useful occurrence of the year . I can only hope it remains, especially as when I find myself away from Home Base, come late Spring onward, carrying on regular communication, via Zoom, YouTube or what have you, will be a much easier task.

There is, though, the matter of working out synchronicity. This evening, there were four events occurring simultaneously. Two were parties, one was a memorial gathering and the last was a worship service. I focused on the latter two, just barely greeting folks at the first of the parties, before it was time to leave.

We will, as with any other endeavour, need to work out etiquette and protocols of expectations for Zoom gatherings, lest feelings be hurt, unnecessarily. I know that, just because one is among many on a teleconference does not mean feathers won’t get ruffled by someone’s absence or abrupt departure.

So, I have worked out a set of priorities for my own Zooming- Offering condolences and memories will have to come first, then regular worship and devotionals, followed by special celebratory events and lastly, someone’s random informational offering-which ought, by definition, be recorded for later viewing.

In any case, may your Zooming be helpful and a source of connection.

Change Surely Is A Constant

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Striving

April 6, 2020-

Several people are trying to circulate chain posts around social media. I don’t copy and paste anything, verbatim, as hackers are sometimes behind the posts.  I do note what is making the rounds, though, and one of the most popular items has been a listing of what has changed, in the last five weeks.

I will hold off on making my own list.  We have a way to go, yet, before all is said and done.  I do have a sense that only the most durable and equitable of institutions will still be standing, five years-or even five months, from now.  There will still be banks, and probably credit unions, as we need a medium of exchange to maintain commerce.  There will still be government, hopefully one based on the rule of law.  There will still be regular communication, as we are a social species and will figure a way to keep in touch, even in the absence of what we have now. There will still be goods and services, including restaurants and cafes, for the reason I just mentioned.  Most of all, there will still be the human spirit-alive, well and forward-looking.

We have miles to go, and eons to live.